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What is Important in a Relationship What I have noticed is that many people create their own loneliness either by not being mindful of what they are looking for in a partner or what they can offer to a partner. Many people think that love just "happens," to them ("you'll know you're in love when it happens to you," as my dear Mother used to say, may God rest her soul). Here's an example, based on my own life, and I recommend people to make such a list so they can be more aware of their needs: What I Can Bring To The Table Supportive personality Fiscally responsible Kind Faithful Committed Monogamous Understanding Not demanding Well-mannered Low maintenance Wide variety of interests Not materialistic Simple lifestyle Not looking for a "Sugar Mama" What My Needs Are Supportive personality No drama No smoking No drugging No heavy drinking Faithful Committed Monogamous Must understand I am on a budget Open to Living Apart Together (LAT) Am allergic to pets/tobacco smoke My partner must be clean and dress neatly My partner must have the same degree of femininity (mid-butch) as me, or more feminine Basically, I could be with a wide range of women, rather than a "type," but they have to have an excellent CHARACTER. This is an example of writing it all down, instead of keeping it all in your head, so that you will have a more clear idea of what you can offer others in a relationship and what is important to you in a relationship.