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Well this morning has been an interesting one, I've been realising that a few of my feelings have shifted... Since the end of last October I have been using female deodorant exclusively, I prefer the smell and found that the "sure" brand were neutral enough for everyday use without being overtly feminine. I ran out this week and hadn't bought more as the kids have been with me when I have gone shopping, so used my male deodorant for the first time in months this morning and realised that I do not like it at all. I don't smell right. When I came back to my house I actually put some perfume on just to cover the scent. I also watched a Pixar short called Purl - it is obviously about sexism and chauvinism in the workplace, but when Purl observes the others and then moulds herself to fit in - it managed to capture exactly how I feel around male dominated groups. I'd recommend it, though it does have an adult joke in it so it is not aimed at young kids.

As for the deodorant, I know what you mean, I have never liked wearing deodorant until I just recently picked up some Dove. Now I put it on before work, reapply when I get home and before bed...I know it's supposed to last twelve hours, but I like how I smell, especially when it is fresh. For the video, I totally get it. I am tired of trying to be macho to fit in. Love you all, Tilly

Dee. Thanks for that...I really enjoyed Purl😊. Put a real smile on my face. Always thought guys were kind of shallow too; probably why I never hung around them. But Purl conquered them from within, and before they had a clue they all worked together. How dumb I am, though, I missed the joke so I'm gonna have to watch it again! Haha Christy, no I don't like the smell either, actually never have! Have been only using a female scented deodorant for quite a while now, and at Sephora bought a mild perfume pen called "Woman Ralph Lauren".💇‍♀️ Not overpowering at all, I love the smell and everyone else must too because no one appears to notice even when I have to go out as "the guy that smells nice. "LOL

Dear DeeDee and Christy, Your discussion about BO in men and women struck a memory decades ago. Was speaking to a group of Gaymales, and I said men and women have different smells. Men had a sour smell and women had a sweet smell. They told me they could not stand the smell of women, and that they smelled like fish. Interestingly, Straight men LOVE the smell of women. The Gaymales said I was the first Lesbian to make a note of this, although Gaymales talk about this a lot among themselves. Would have to add that Gaymales love the square lines of men while Straight men LOVE the curves of women. As for deodorants/antiperspirants, my favorite is Secret Solid Powder Fresh. It comes in a two-pack, is long-lasting, and is inexpensive. The only downside is that it leaves a white streak on the inside of dark clothes, but it washes out easily. DeeDee, I absolutely love the cartoon (I noticed it was made by a woman) and its powerful yet hopeful message! Your friend, Monica

When I was 15 or so my friend and I discovered the self printing business card machine in the local shopping centre. We were always on the lookout for a cheap way to spend the most time when we were out so we promptly hatched a plan that seemed hilarious to us at the time. We printed out 250 business cards that said (something along the lines of) "Stop. We are the fashion police. You are under arrest for crimes against fashion." And for the afternoon we became the fashion police, bold as brass running up and handing them out to people in the street or slipping them in their bags or on their dinner trays at the food courts as we passed. We got a few chuckles and were called cheeky gits but for some reason no one really took offence - probably because we were just two young lads with very little fashion sense ourselves and we had/have great smiles. It could also be because people recognised that we were not out doing drugs or mugging anyone but simply having some harmless fun. I say this because today I would have arrested myself 😂 my male wardrobe is bland at best - but it is designed to be, baggy and boring. However once I dropped my son off at his mums after school I came home and decided to practice putting on some makeup - I am not good enough to do strong colours yet so the smoky look I was going for just highlights the fact I had less than 3 hrs sleep last night. Fashion-wise I tried to wear a pair of blue denim shorts over a pair of tights - the shorts were from my sisters hand me down pile she gave me to try out when I told her I was questioning my gender and they are fairly long - I have seen denim shorts over tights and while usually it is a look common among the younger generation, like printed leggings, I have seen a few women my age do something similar in spring. I tried them on tonight with a top and decided I look like a train wreck (that's the polite phrase - a completely different word came to my mind). After painting my nails a dark but different shade I decided that while the top half was okay if a bit amateur hour - I simply do not have the figure to pull off wearing the shorts. So after trying it out in less than five minutes I went back and changed - a red skirt I love and bought from a charity shop when I was feeling brave, but I put it on with the same top and a changed from simple lip gloss to a light pink lipstick and the combination works so much better in my opinion. Now I know I like skirts and dresses over jeans - I find them more feminine and they make me feel more feminine too, being a UK 16-18 puts me firmly in the average size bracket of most of my female friends but having seen them on I would not be caught dead wearing those shorts outside. They may be going in the charity bin... I am also torn because I seem to have a small natural cleavage when I put a bra on - it is a sign of the weight that I put on at Christmas and have not yet shifted - my tummy definitely needs to go but I will be quite sad to lose my mini bust. If I want to survive a weekend out as Dee some time I am going to have to get more clothes as women do not wear the same clothes for days like men do. I am wearing my long hair tonight because it makes me feel more womanly and it also saves my nice blond hair for wearing out. I need to do more spying to see what passes for fem casual, below is what I consider to be the new and slightly improved casual look - suitable for blogging, snacking and reading my gender book.. which are my plans for what is left of this evening. Tomorrow I first have to go and get my car headlight fixed so I can then drive at night without being stopped. Just the thought of lifting a car bonnet makes me anxious let alone asking for the right bulb! On top of that I found out that I need to replace my 2 front tires so will have to book it into a garage too - not how I wanted to spend my Saturday.

I am glad thank you for your kindness! I was just being honest with myself and it brought back a memory so I thought I would share. We have recently had temps of 18.c (64.5 f?) - highest for February in centuries but of course global warming is a myth so its just a fluke we should be grateful for. I know I can wear ladies jeans and look okay, but while they are cut differently they are still jeans and I have worn them for years, what I look forward to is getting some new tops to go with them. I always admired girls that could pull off wearing daisy dukes at the seaside in more ways than one - but the only time I have seen any of my female friends wear shorts is to play sports, and even then most of them prefer leggings and a loose top. I will wish you good luck on your spring mission - do not be too self critical - going shopping in that frame of mind stops you from ever finding something you like, but if you do find some please let us in on the secret! 💛

Dee, I didn't know whether to react with a like or a Haha; wanted to do both!💜😁 Gosh, I like your sense of humor and your outlook; don't ever loose it! But, the outfit in your photo does lookgreat on you and very comfortable, too. I too, prefer skirts or dresses over jeans mostly for the feminine feel, but I have been going out more lately in jeans and slacks because of this frigid cold (avg. temp for 2 months now has been single digits!😝) I'm getting used to them and starting to like them more, but shorts fit me terribly, have not found a pair that even comes close to either a good fit or a good look👀. My butt and hips are way to small and my upper thighs to skinny. That's gonna have to be my mission, though come spring, to find some good summer shorts! Jess

Monica, YES, I used that too before☺️. Was what my wife used and did leave a white streak. Now I use Secret Paris Rose. Mild pleasant scent and no streaks!🙋‍♀️

Dear Tilly and Christy, Significant others/wives who have been married for years have invested greatly into the relationship/marriage, and they fear they will never find love again. Their ultimate fear is to be alone for the rest of their lives. When you transition, your significant other/wife transitions with you, as well as your children, and, to a lesser extent, your friends and coworkers. Your friend, Monica

I cannot comment on the in and outs of this because my marriage ended already, but I know that even though I am not with her I am genuinely happy that my ex is happier with her new partner now and that our relationship is amicable. Being able to talk things through and trying to see things from your spouses perspective are so important in a solid relationship, I just want to let you know that I'm rooting for you both and that I truly hope that you are able to stay with the people that you love.

Thanks Jess, unfortunately with hospital appointments here you take what you are given and if a cancellation does come up they will give you a phone if you were next in the list. It was a pleasant phone call though so I know my name will have a good feeling associated with it. I am not in a hurry - it took me 40 years to stop and realise something was wrong, there's no need to rush now, I just have to make sure I do everything right and for the right reasons. I have plenty to be getting on with though, I have a pride event in May to look forward to going to with my niece and I want to start on hair removal asap which will involve lots of trips up and down the road, and I want to go to my supportive friends and let them meet Dee as well as telling my younger sisters and mum - so you are right - the summer will soon pass!

We do not have a spare bedroom unfortunateky. As l am going through this, part of why I was ready to leave is that when i see the look of disgust on my spouce's face when she looks at me hurts worse then seeing myself with the parts with which I was born. I have no desire to be unfaithful. I have said before, I love my wife very deeply and want to spend the rest of my life with her, i just now see that if we can stay together it will be as two women. This life transition is being so hard on both of us, I wish there were a way I could m as ke it easier on her. I understand that I am in for a struggle, I just wish that I could bear the pain myself and not share it with the woman I love.

Hi Dee. I, too am so very happy for you. I can feel the excitement you must feel. 😊 It always helps to keep a lot of irons in the fire with future appointments. My advice, schedule them, a lot may change before October. If not you can always reschedule. When I can't get an appointment as quickly as I would like, I make sure I'm on the call list for appointments that have been cancelled, and there are probably more of those, than the ones that are kept. Learn first names and try to get to know them on a first name basis and them yours, too. Call back every few weeks and say you have an appointment but just checking if any cancellations came in that you might be able to fill. Before you know it, you'll be in.🙏 Good luck, Jess