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I have been on HRT now since April, and have simultaneously no longer presented male since one month prior to that. Since I started, some insight into my own thought process is developing when it comes to sexual orientation. This is only me, and may or may not be others' experience. I was always heterosexual as a male, and with that I have never had a relationship with a male, nor was ever curious. I fully expected to continue being attracted to woman right through and after post-op. I moved to a new community at the same time I shed my assigned at birth male presentation and have assimilated very well into my new (and old) community. I am very active and visible publicly. I interact and socialize with , very few transgender friends at different stages of their transition, one or two lesbian friends that I'm aware of, but mostly cis men and women which is probably representative of the general population. It's important to understand, the general population is indeed predominantly cis. (my assumption). I've become very good friends with a group of women and many others, individually, my age. We meet up to dance, talk, and share our lives etc., and in general do many things together. As we spend more time together, I've sensed that some may be attracted to me and I to some of them. But that is a very slippery slope that I did not previously consider. I have to be careful not to respond to women as I learned to all my life, but understand that most women are still cis and not sexually attracted to women nor transwomen, for that matter.. I suppose that I can no longer realistically think of cis women amorously as I have been accustomed to my entire life. Even while I am pre-op, lesbian women, unless they are generally bi, would probably not result in a mutually positive sexual relationship, at least until I become post-op. Pre-op, I experience a strong attraction to FTM, but not so much MTF. I did have one intimate encounter with a non-binary FTM, with whom I am still friendly. "They" (the correct pronoun) identify as bi-sexual, has had top surgery, but no plans for bottom surgery. That was in fact very enjoyable, I did not expect it, and was very nervous at first, but fortunately my partner was prepared for safety. Even though I have not needed since, I am now always prepared for safe sex! I guess additionally, that attraction is not set in stone either, as I experienced a rather distinct “flutter in my heart” upon meeting a MTF server last weekend at an exclusive restaurant in Saratoga. She was presenting somewhat female with largely androgynous overtones, and obviously on HRT. But she was far too young, early 20’s, for me to think seriously any further about her, sexually. In any event, I’ll need to stay closely and realistically in touch with both my mind and my body during and after my transition, and keep an open mind without making judgements based upon my experience having lived most of my life as the wrong gender. This chapter is still very much open. I know I have much more to think and learn about this, now. But I'm beginning to understand also now, we're simply talking about body parts? Always, Jessica 😉

Hi Jessica, Nice to hear from and about you. Indeed there are many anecdotal stories of trans people's finding their sexuality changing (morphing?) during/after transition. It's good you're keeping an open mind. After all, now that we're finally becoming our authentic gender there's no profit in maintaining hard lines in our sexuality! I found that I remain only interested in women as partners. Men can be fun and all that but they just don't float my boat the way women do. I love the deeper connection that women have between each other and freedom to express it. Because of that I had a zero-depth vaginoplasty as part of my GCS. Sure, I imagine that lesbians enjoy each other's vaginas and I wish I'd been born with one. But I wasn't and made the decision to err on the side of low/no maintenance vs. the high maintenance that's part and parcel of a full-depth vaginoplasty. Send me a PM if you're interested in more info. Although I've made a bunch of cis lesbian friends in the Seattle area I've struggled to find dates let alone a romantic partner. I am on three dating sites and have also put myself out there to several women I've met socially and am friends with. For women I've not met I suspect that my being trans is at least a part of their lack of attraction. And although I seem to pass very well I suspect that my face and body isn't as attractive as many are looking for. That said I have enjoyed several first dates and for the most part I've been the one to not wish to see them again. I find another big contusion factor that involves my indoctrination in male socialization. As a male when women opened up to me, smiled, and all that, it was reasonably safe to assume that they had at least some romantic interest or attraction to me. Now, though, all of my women friends exhibit these characteristics! What I used to think were signs of attraction are now the norm so it's pretty confusing. Last weekend I spoke privately with a good lesbian friend about this. She understood and said that I need to wait for stronger and more clear signals. That is also hard for me to do. Again, having been socialized as I was, it was expected that I take those first steps and unless I did she might lose interest. Interesting, huh? 🙂 So, I'm seeing it all as a marketing challenge to get myself out there and through exposure I'll meet more women. Last weekend I also had a first date with a lesbian I met on OKCupid. I think we'll certainly be friends. Beyond that? I have my hopes but also reservations, we'll see. Emma

Congratulations on your baptism Jessica Leah! 😁👏 x