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I have now been a member of the TG Forum since August 26, 2018 , just shy of 2 years now. At that time, I recall distinctly, at 63 years old, it was time to really learn what it would take for ME to begin this process called "transitioning". It was then that I stumbled upon TG Guide, a well managed support forum, consisting of members from all across the gender spectrum, some that just had many, many questions to those that had completed their physical transition. At that time, I had never met a transgender person, had never spoken with a transgender person, having only built my knowledge "database" from media and scant articles which told me little about why I felt as I had my whole life, and more importantly what to do about it. In fact, my first face to face introduction to someone transgender occurred 5 months later in January of 2019, when I made my first venture outside presenting as Jessica one Sunday morning at a church outside of my hometown. Until then I had only "practiced" in private my presentation. I tapped all the resources that TG had to offer including carefully reading word for word the detailed blogs of many. I became online friends with many , and even offline friends with a few. The support has been tremendous and I am happy.....no ecstatic to say I have completed my physical transition from ..... to Jessica. My procedure was performed by Dr. Bella Avanessian of the Mount Sinai Transgender Surgery group in NYC. Everything went well, a highly successful procedure, and I am still recovering locally in Manhattan close to my surgeon for follow up visits/ I am now able to go for short walks around town and am fully self sufficient. Just taking it very slow and careful as I am told my full recovery will take about 6 months. So, over the next 6 months I will have much time to try to detail my journey, to "pay it forward" so to speak. One definite result of where I am at now is that I have never been happier, more fulfilled in my body as Jessica, and look forward to embracing whatever comes my way next!! 🙋‍♀️❣️ .

Beautiful photo, Emma; it speaks volumes on how far you've come. As I'm mostly surrounded day to day by cis-gender folks, I no longer think of myself as being anything other than "Jess", and with that, those around me see only a person named Jess.

Life's good for me here in Seattle. Friends, acquaintances, ... so many delightful connections and living in such a wonderful environment. I occasionally have an internal struggle (maybe too strong a word) with my being trans. On the one hand, everywhere I go I am greeted and interacted with as a woman. My lesbian friends assure me that I'm certainly accepted and seen/heard as a woman. And yet about a week ago I was at a (cis woman) friend's house and I mentioned that I missed being able to travel due to Covid. I said that I wondered how I would be accepted and treated outside the Seattle area "bubble" that we live in. Through her body language and expression she confirmed that it was at least somewhat evident that I'm trans and that yes, she also wondered how I'd get along outside of, say, the West Coast, as compared with her. I thought about this off and on for a few days. I've come to recognize that no matter what I'll always be transgender. And maybe I'm loved for that too. I went to ballet yesterday as I do twice a week (they only allow five students per class due to the virus; I'm one of the director's favorites!) and enjoyed the sincere warm feelings I share with the instructor and several of the others. On the train to/from ballet I wrote this in my phone: How To Be A Lady I started my transition three years ago. So many frightening hurdles and self-conscious steps. Some reversible, some small, some irreversibly committed to like a ski jumper launching her downhill acceleration run, but without practice or previous experience. Too many to count. At the start I didn’t have a clear vision of my goals although as I progressed through therapy, presentation refinements, voice and behavior coaching, medical therapies, and surgeries, I found my deep seated need to be fully female internally as well as to the outside world. My friends, mostly cisgender lesbians, repeatedly assured me that I was unequivocally a woman. But these days I am coming to the realization that no matter what I do, how well I pass, I am always transgender. Like ones sexuality, skin color, cultural background, education, or life, being trans isn’t my primary identity. I am a lady then and now. I arrived here by a different route than cisgender women, but I’m here all the same. If I’m going to see the future I want, I need to live and breathe it.