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Honestly, I spend most of my life telling other people not to judge others; both professionally and personally, and yet I was caught out doing it this weekend. I have 4 sisters, 2 older and 2 younger, the older sisters I see regularly and have kept up to date about my questioning and gender counselling and they have been very supportive even though they have never seen me as particularly feminine. My younger sisters accepted the news when I told them, but I always thought the youngest was very cool about it in her response of, "you do you" - so cool as in not very enthusiastic, but accepting to a point. Neither of them have mentioned it to me since nor called me anything other than my male name or brother. I had a chance while running (and walking) a 5km with her yesterday morning kid free to speak a little bit more about it, and it turns out that what I had taken for her being apathetic was actually just her not wanting to bring up my being trans until I was comfortable speaking to her about it. I caught her up with where I was and the fact that I am no longer questioning but actively looking to move onto hormones and transition and she was very supportive, she said that she was proud of me and that I had dealt with enough shit over the last couple of years and deserve to be happy. I talked about the clash of feelings of being called bro or my male name, while also understanding that as none of the kids know yet they can't use DeeDee in front of them, and she talked about how it will take time to shift in her mind because she has known me as her brother her whole life, but she will try her best to shift when I start publicly presenting because it will be easier then. When I told her that my dream of ordering a coffee as DeeDee might sound silly, she assured me that it didnt, and that it was a big deal to be able to do it. She did however say that if I ever walked in wearing a straw like cheap barbie style wig that she would disown me. Which seems fair enough. I was so glad to clear the air with her. ❤️

Dear Dee, Communication is key. Seems like there is some serious reconciliation going on here! So happy 😊 for you both! Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Dee, your blog reminds me of some interesting dynamics that occurred with my sibling relationships. I think our transitions are hardest on our siblings and I have found that my siblings still do not really accept the fact, and perhaps NEVER will! At first they were on the surface accepting, but now I have come to understand they will most likely never accept it. They think they have lost a brother, but now are too wrapped up in themselves to learn about their sister. Little do they understand their brother is still a part of me, just as in my son's eyes his dad is still alive and will always be a part of me. You said: "She did however say that if I ever walked in wearing a straw like cheap barbie style wig that she would disown me. Which seems fair enough." I'm long done with allowing others to set the bar for what's appropriate! Especially my family! I think if you ever feel comfortable walking in wearing a cheap barbie style wig go for it. In fact, I'll join you, and throw in a cheap barbie mini skirt, too. LOL Yes, communication is key, as Monica pointed out. We do have to play a leading role in educating everyone, especially those whom we are close to. Remember, don't get discouraged. It takes time, and there is nothing wrong with it taking a lifetime, as long as you never again lose sight of who YOU are.🙋‍♀️

Hahaha jessica, it may not have translated into text well, but she was definitely just joking around. Once I can no longer be mistaken for a silverback in the wild if we need a Barbie's night out then I'm all in! Monica, this was more me mistaking my sister's quietness for a lack of understanding or acceptance; she may not fully understand me being transgender, but she does understand that this is something I need to do and supports me in that. The big test will be the first time she sees me dressed properly, but I am hoping that this will be my last "bro" Christmas if the NHS can get me started on "E" sooner rather than later. Having recognised how I was manipulated and put down to the point where I had no self esteem by my ex (intentional or otherwise) I will be in no hurry to let anybody else do the same thing.

Dear Dee and Jessica, It seems to me that relations with siblings are more complicated than that with parents. That said, I feel that it is important to be open to reconciliation with all family members. However, some will take longer than others . . . Please allow me to emphasize that although you should be open to reconciliation, that does not mean to allow others to treat you like a doormat or mistreat you in any way. Yours in Sisterhood, Monica