Well, I finally did it!
Over lunch yesterday my mum asked about how my counselling was going, so I took a deep breath and told her that there was a lot of really big stuff that had come about, I'd realised that so much of my adult life had been spent trying to be what other people wanted me to be that I had no idea who I was.. and after a lot of searching I'd realised that I have never been comfortable as a man and the right word for me was transgender. I did not know if she would understand or not but I really needed to tell her.
She had not said a word the whole time, but she looked at me and said that long before I was a teenager I had been running around in her high heels and that she had thought I was goiing to tell her I was gay. She assured me that she loved me and supported me and I burst into tears as we hugged.
It really could not have gone better, I mentioned how long I had wanted to tell her and how worried I was about her side of the family, she assured me that she would walk away from them long before she would ever walk away from me.
I am so pleased to finally get this out in the open and I am now more certain than ever that I am on the right path. Thanks everyone who commented and gave me the positivity to help make it through this. I am so excited for my future now!