Jump to content
Transgender Guide Message Board

All Activity

This stream auto-updates     

  1. Today
  2. MonicaPz

    Inauthenticity vs. Authenticity

    Dear Emma, Believe that living authentically means living a MINDFUL life as continuously as possible. We are constantly evolving, so what was authentic 10 years ago is not likely authentic TODAY, but hopefully was authentic 10 years ago. As for me, I try to be centered as possible at all times, although I am not always successful! 😉 Your friend, Monica
  3. Last week
  4. MonicaPz

    The Leopard Print Dress

    Dear MichelleLea and Emma, Love shopping for clothes with a girlfriend as I feel two heads are better than one! Even if my sense of style is different than hers, I would like her input, after I shared with her what I am trying to achieve and why, and vice versa. Your friend, Monica
  5. Emma

    The Leopard Print Dress

    I think it’s hard to figure this stuff out and unless whoever goes with you is a fashion expert whose style you love, well, I think you’re better off going on your own. And then only buy things you really love. Check out the return policy so you give yourself a few days to reflect and consider.
  6. MichelleLea

    The Leopard Print Dress

    I have to agree that cheap clothes just don't ever look or fit right. I will have to experiment with going out looks--first, I have to find someone to go out with. Maybe it's time.
  7. Elsa

    My Transition

    Hi All Thank you for your kind words and understanding, I agree Monica you cannot live a lie, this has become so apparent to me over the last 5 months. I am now my true self and I have never felt more complete in my entire life. Emma I agree while it has taken a lot of courage to finally admit my truth, now that I have I would not change they way I feel now for anyone or thing. I am stronger, more self assured and confident than any time in my life. Hugs and Kisses Elsa
  8. A friend of mine who happens to be non-binary wrote to me this morning about a speech he made yesterday at a monthly event were locals in his community speak on that month's theme. For May it was "epiphany" and... he won! I've had my own epiphany in the last couple of weeks that I'd like to share. Over the years I've often read about the need to live authentically. I assumed that meant I needed to find a different job, career, or otherwise "find myself." I had about three major career changes (broadcast engineering, outside high-tech sales, high-tech marketing and business development), worked for a dozen companies, and even tried my hand at starting my own ventures. I even once really committed to learning fiction writing on the assumption that "if Dan Brown can do it why not me?" (The Da Vinci Code had an interesting premise but in my opinion exhibited pretty marginal writing chops.) I think it's fair to say that through the first 5 decades of my life I tried really hard to "find myself" and although I experienced thrills and euphoria with each new thing (like the infatuation people feel with a new lover) I soon found them a bit tedious, got depressed, and then found myself slogging along once again. Of late I feel I've broken through to the "other side" of my transition where I just live my life as Emma, a woman who happens to be transgender. I feel very good, better and more excited about life than I've ever been. It occurred to me recently that hey, I'm actually living authentically and I love it! It's like it all snuck up on me without planning or awareness. I then realized that all these years I've been trying to cope, to live inauthentically, and wasn't even cognizant of it. What I've learned is that when one is compelled to live inauthentically that begets more inauthenticity, like lies requiring additional layers to maintain their deceit. And I've been that way since before kindergarten, trying to live according to others' rules and expectations, utterly ashamed of my core need to be female. Maintaining all that is stressful and exhausting. As a teenager I well recall being on hair-trigger, ready to be slighted. As an adult I was often upset and I didn't know exactly why, often depressed, and like someone treading water in the ocean waiting for life to just be over. At the risk of stating the obvious here it's amazing how important it is to live authentically! Just as inauthenticity leads to more inauthenticity, authenticity feeds on itself creating more authenticity, more satisfying relationships, all that stuff. Obviously (I hope) everyone's mileage may vary: I'm not preaching that everyone should transition or how they should go about achieving their own authenticity. I'm just so grateful to have gotten to where I am. Being an active member of the Transgender Guide among other things has helped me so much, I hope it helps you too. Emma
  9. Steph53

    My Transition

    Hiya Monica. There Is A Very Old, but, True saying:- " You Can Choose Your Friend's, but Sadly, You Cannot Choose Your Family !! Your Friend's However, ARE The Family, Who You Can Choose For Yourself !! " I have A Very Large Extended Blood Family. However, I see My Oldest Son, and My Youngest Son, together, for 2 hour's, just once a month ! I have seen My Middle Son, just 3 times, in a few day’s short of a. Year and a half ! My Now estranged Wife, is Unfortunately, the only other Person I see ! However, I have made a lot of Friend's, since I started My Transition ! They are more of A Family, than My Blood Family, has Ever Been ! Monica, it is so Very Sad, when A Family force somebody to live a lie. This was partly why I did Not start My Transition, until aged 53. However, I do Not look back. Apart from A Recent Cancer, I Am Much Happier and More Contented, than I have ever been before ! Monica, I hope that You also manage to find someone, Sweetheart. Monica, and Emma, and Elsa, Be Happy All of You !! Ladies, Take Care, because I Care, Big Hugs, And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. ( Steph53 ). xxxx
  10. MonicaPz

    The Leopard Print Dress

    Dear Emma, Very well said. Great advice no matter who you are! As for myself, I try to go for a TAILORED look. Two dear friends from Philadelphia, PA, send me wonderful T/LGB magazines that I learn a lot from. When I plan on visiting them, I hope I will have saved up some money to buy at some of the stores/boutiques featured in the magazines. Your friend, Monica
  11. MonicaPz

    My Transition

    Dear Elsa, Steph and Emma, Sadly, I am acquainted with a Lesbian woman, who is being forced by her family to "go Straight." She used to be a "Heavy Butch," with a crew cut and wearing men's clothes. She was forced by her family to wear a feminine wig, until her hair grew out, now wearing a very feminine, curly haircut, dyed blond. Also, she is forced to wear very feminine clothes. She hates my guts, (she sees me on the bus), harassing me (the police is now involved), because, although I am not "flaming out," I am openly a Lesbian. Feel sorry for her, as all her behavior is at the behest of her family, except she takes it a step farther, having a boyfriend or husband. Apparently she was threatened with being disowned by her family. My family stopped short of forcing me to date/marry. Two deeply closeted Lesbians take me out once or twice a month (one of these times to a women's support group), and trying to help me find a girlfriend (whom I'm told will be deeply closeted, due to where I live). The fem is an executive secretary, and the butch, in the medical field. What is the upshot of all of this? Don't live a lie. Am on the waitlist for senior public housing in Burlington, VT and Seattle, WA, which may take years. May have to move sight unseen because of my very low income. For what it's worth, I see the T/LGB community as my family, not my family of origin. Your friend, Monica
  12. Emma

    My Transition

    Hi Elsa, Your story parallels mine in so many ways. I just turned 62 last weekend and started HRT 9 months ago while also transitioning to full time living as a woman. Self doubt was also a mainstay companion but those feelings have reduced so much. I’ve never felt better in my life,. I read about people feeling this way before of course and I didn’t really believe it. I thought they were experiencing a euphoria. Now I know that I was incorrect. People say we are brave and courageous and at times we are. It’s certainly a Hero’s Journey and I thank goodness I’m living it! I hope to read more about your experiences! Emma
  13. Steph53

    My Transition

    Hiya Elsa. I don't Know if You are in the U.K. or U.S.A. !! I Am Stephanie, A 56 Year Old Trans'Female, and I AM in the U.K. I Am now over 3 Year's into My Transition, and I told My Now Estranged Wife, on the Evening of 30th. April, 2015; ( was aged 53 ), and I went the following Morning, ( 1st. May, 2015 ); and Bought loads of Underwear, and Clothes, and Nightwear, and I went Home, and I got changed into My New Clothes, then I went up to London, to Long Tall Sally, to buy Shoes. I went and told My Doctor's ( 67 Day's into My Transition, ) and they contacted The Gender Identity Clinic up in London, that Very Day, ( 25th. June, 2015). I have already had 3 appointment's at The G.I.C. Elsa, You Should try and find an L.G.B.T. Organisation, or Group, near where You live ! It is something that I Have done, and I Now have a Fairly Good support Network around Me ! You DO need a Support Network ! If You would like to contact Me at all, Please feel free to do so ! If You look at My Profile, it will tell You More ! If I can be of any Help. Or Advice, I will be. Elsa, Good Luck Young Lady. I hope that Everything goes Really Well for You ! Take Care Honey, And My Very Best Wishes, Stephanie. (Steph53 ). xx
  14. Elsa

    My Transition

    Hi All What a 5 months it has been for me after finally deciding to confront my (at the time crossdressing needs) after almost 60 years of denial, guilt and shame. Little did I know at the time that, as I write this, I would be on the path to transitioning and living full time as a woman. My initial thoughts just after Christmas 2017 was to admit and accept that I liked to dress as a woman and that need would be satisfied on a part time basis and in private. I would come out to my family and depending on their reaction would be allowed to do this with their consent or continue in private or (the painful part) go our seperate ways. As I finally accepted (mid Jan 2018) the need to dress became more urgent and I had become quite obsessive about it to the extent I could think of nothing else. This was confusing and created an enormous amount of conflict. After one final round of guilt, shame and a complete purge of all of my feminine attire and an absolute determination to end this aspect of my life, I thought I was free of it, My resolve lasted less than 24 hours. It was at this stage I decided to seek counselling. I made an appointment for mid Feb 2018 to see a specialist in transgender issues. While I waited for the appointment day to arrive I immersed my self in research into all things crossdressing and transgender, I read all I could so I could try to understand what I was. I also began to rebuild my feminine wardrobe and vowed I would never purge, feel guilty or shame again. About 1 week before my appointment I was driving to the local shops and had a nagging thought racing around my head. As I parked at the shopping centre I found myself just sitting in my car with this thought determined to be heard and voiced. For about 10 minutes I could not bring myself to say a few simple words until they finally broke free. "I am A Woman" I almost shouted them and quickly looked around to make sure no one heard me, and then the dam broke sobbing tears for about 5 minutes before I could pull myself back together. It was the voicing of this sentence "I am A Woman" that my life and where I was heading all made sense. My thoughts cleared, the internal conflict was erased and I found myself at peace with myself. By the time I got to see the specialist, the following Saturday, it was not about my problems but an open and frank discussion about being a transgender woman and what my journey would look like from that point forward. Since then I have come out to my family and friends (mid Feb 2018) and all have been supportive, including my wife ( although we have decided to seperate but will remain friends). As the days and weeks have passed doubts have pressed forward, this can't be right, how can I be a woman, I am 60 years old, get a grip, be a man, stop this nonsense etc etc. As the weeks have turned into months the doubts have been largely silenced and not only have I accepted that I am A Woman but acceptance has turned to joy and pride as I now know who I am and was meant to be, and my feminine wardrobe has expanded rapidly. This week on May 15th I visited my Doctor and we have begun the process of me becoming a woman, blood tests have been done and an appointment made to see a Psychiatrist for a formal evaluation, ( my Dr said this is a formality in my case) before I start female hormone therapy. There no doubt will be many hurdles to jump and tears along the way as well, and I hope, many good moments but I feel mentally stronger and more self assured that I will be able to overcome anything thrown in my way. Thank you if you have read this far. It is sights and communities like Tgguide.com that remind me I am not alone on this journey and there are many like minded souls out there. Finally I can live my life as my authentic and true self Lots of big hugs and kisses Elsa
  15. Emma

    The Leopard Print Dress

    I agree Monica! This evening I was taken out to dinner by a couple of friends to a hip restaurant along Lake Washington. I wore sandals, skinny jeans, a pretty and flowery top, and a white sweater. We had a blast! It can be challenging to determine ones style and then making it a reality. I think it’s good advice to notice what others wear that you like and then to try to follow their lead. It’s expensive though and I was tempted to buy lesser quality clothing on Amazon among others. I’ve had a lot of success at women’s clothing consignment shops which try hard to carry quality items (which don’t sit around). Go often, experiment, and try not to buy anything - no matter how “cheap” - that you don’t absolutely love!
  16. MonicaPz

    The Leopard Print Dress

    Dear MichelleLea and Emma, Think looking APPROPRIATE and REALISTIC should be your goals looking like you are women, because you ARE women. Most older women emphasize CLOTHING and ACCESSORIES. Went out with my friend yesterday, and no one bothered us. She was a transwoman, aged 71, and I am a cisgender woman, aged 60. Try to get out with friends, as I find it so healing. Your friend, Monica
  17. Went in to a Horton's yesterday and the woman there said to me and my wife "how are you doing ladies."  I was dressed a bit feminine but not overly so.  Still being coded almost daily as a woman and I really an not trying to go out of my way to make myself look like a woman.  Dawn

  18. EShaver

    Technical help needed in posting photos

    Michael, I'm headed to a camera shop this week . I'll get back to ya ....
  19. Michele800226

    Long Time, but I'm still here

    Hi there Warren I know this is more then a year later. But hey the promotion is an upside. The feeling of dissociation and lack of sensation is the thing that worries me too. Don't feel so glum, my medical aid as we call it in South Africa, also doesn't cover my surgeries. They only covered one when it was linked to cancer. The fools, dont they know even with healthy parts they still feel like growths that should be removed. I do hope that in this 16 months it took me to respond that you were relieved and can feel your manly chest and see how the pecks firm up as you lift the weight and you show off your muscles. Because not even I would want my boobs to suffocate me, they fine being small A cups, I can run, do speed bumps fast and fight with relatively ease, as they perfectly sized for being a police officer. And yes, if they were bigger, my bulletproof would be so much more uncomfortable. But this isn't about me. Your vocabulary says male, your ID does too. You definitely male, and therefore sir, why be so glum. The other nuances of you shout male, just hope the last sections are or have fallen into place for you to feel complete. Like an older sister would say, okay I'm unique. Lets go spar and hit the crap out of the feelings you are feeling. And in the ring say, bro git slightly softer, girl here. Wait and check my level of fighting and counter, not just try and knock me out cold as if I was nothing to start with. But then again, I would also be throwing punches and kicks to either throw you off balance or knock you out cold. Be safe man. Don't think you don't have people in your corner. We are here for you, even if we can only listen to you venting your frustrations. Hugs Michele
  20. Earlier
  21. Not the best mood but hey, feelings of disphoria, only because I'm realizing I'm not todays children anymore.  Grey poked out and said, hello mama you look sexy todat, but remember your older then the norm you look like.  Blooming B had me in tears for a few minutes.

     

    Then my highlight came, happy mother's day Ou Vrou (nickname from my other half meaning Old Woman, but its the name he calls me when everything is well.  My name either signifies being angry or worried about me, yes the tone tells me which one).  Reminded that even though I'm not the biological mother, I'm still their mother for the love and support I give our babies.  Even the danger or unknown I've stepped in to help them.  What a learning curve this has been for me.

     

    Happy Mother's Day you lovely ladies.  May your children and other half (sometimes better and sometimes worse)

    1. Steph53

      Steph53

      Hiya Michele. Happy Mother's Day Babes. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

  22. MichelleLea

    The Leopard Print Dress

    Good advice, as always. I recently read that envy is not necessarily a bad thing in that it points where we strive to be. I know I can't look like a woman, such as I am. I guess I can just try to be the best looking me while dressed--even if it's only for me. BTW, I'll let you know if I make my goal--a little distant, but who knows?
  23. UsernameOptional

    Technical help needed in posting photos

    Never indicated the problem was uploading to your computer... I was just trying to find a way around the issue - whatever it may be. There is no [general] issue uploading to this forum - members have uploaded images to the member gallery as recent at 28 April... I uploaded an image to a post just this past week. This is why I asked for as much info as possible. --Are you using a cable between the Nikon and your computer? --Does the Nikon require any special software or program in order to be connected to your computer (some phones or providers used to require such) --Are you getting any error messages when the upload fails? NOTE: It's possible there may be a communication problem between the Nikon and your computer In the editor when creating a new thread, or replying to a post in an existing thread, look down in the bottom left corner -
  24. MonicaPz

    The "New" Friendship

    Dear Emma and Mike, Have a "pen pal," of 5 years that I met through a Lesbian dating website. We write about once a week, and enjoy a satisfying friendship. Have lived in my senior public housing apartment building for 5 years, and I have no friends (as far as I know, they haven't made friends with each other, either, and I am talking about 100 people). The bottom line is that I have little in common with them. If it weren't for my flexibility in defining what a friend is, I think I would be a very lonely person. Keep loneliness at bay by taking a lot of classes in my building and at the library, and being active in TGGuide and my local T/LGB support group. Also have a lot of hobbies, such as writing and creating art. Thank you all for being my friend! 💄 Yours, Monica
  25. Ellen, for some reason you cannot receive PMs, do you know why? I guess that's a selection you made in your profile. I need to send a PM to you with my email address. Emma
  26. EShaver

    Technical help needed in posting photos

    Emma , I tried and they won't load ....
  27. Emma

    The Leopard Print Dress

    Ha! Well, she has good taste just like you! Perhaps also, though, seeing her looking good in the dress triggers some emotions in you such as envy or sadness? I can see where it might. It’s hard to be a trans woman. We want to appear just as nice as another woman and sometimes that’s just a bit of a bridge too far. And, like all women we compare and often negatively judge ourselves versus other women. So unlike being a man, right? So, you rock that dress! Have a fun time wearing it! And tell her how nice she looks in it. Women often complement each other.
  28. Presumably you are trying to post photos taken with your Nikon, from your computer... not directly from the camera. Perhaps there is something about the Nikon’s photo file that is upsetting our website. Please email a photo to me, as an attachment to a PM, and I’ll do some investigation. If you can’t attach it to a PM, send your email address in a PM and I’ll send you mine. (For some reason the system is telling me that you can’t receive PMs.)
  1. Load more activity
×