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  1. Today
  2. Dawn13

    How many times have you been mistaken as a girl

    Yesterday - twice identified as a woman. Once called mamm by a lady needing help at a gas station while I was pumping gas. The second was called a lady ("how are you ladies doing") by the waitress at a IHOP while getting dinner. I did not correct them and I was wearing all women's sportswear, legs tan and shaved, earings, my women's styled glasses. Actually everything I had on was what I would consider unisexual clothing. I really think my face and ponytail are the reasons I was coded female but this time I did not correct them so I could ask what they saw that made me appear as s woman to them. Actually enjoyed being treated as a woman. Dawn
  3. Yesterday
  4. Last week
  5. Steph53

    Why Stress Right

    Hiya Michele, and Emma, and Monica. Michele and I do converse elsewhere, as well as on here, and We can talk quite openly. Michele, You have already blossomed into the most Beautiful Butterfly ! If People do Not see You, for the Beautiful Young Lady, that You already are, then they must be blind ! You are a Terrific Young Lady, and someone Who I Am Very Proud, to call My Friend !! Emma, You are also doing Fabulously. I too have got to get Laser or Electrolysis, done on My Face ! ( I was about to sort it out, when I had A Cancer Scare, and I was having Scan's, and other Medical Appointment's ! Fortunately, I have been given " The All Clear " !! What a Relief, that was !! ). Monica, Everyone is a Different Shape and Size, to each other ! The Motto of My Comment is, That We ARE All Different, but, there are so many similarities between US as well ! All 4 of Us, have known Each Other on here, for quite some time now, indeed I have been on TGGuide since Mid--July, 2015, and this is A Wonderful Community, and the 3 of You, are so Lovely to Know ! Enjoy the Rest of Your Day Girl's, Take Care Girl's because I Care, And My Very Best Wishes, And Lots of Love Girl's, Stephanie. ( Steph53 ).
  6. WarrenG

    I'm still here

    I'm still with you guys/gals/people I havent left you, despite my almost complete disappearance. Things got so hectic and depressing that I had set aside all of my extra things (youtube, blogging, etc) and abandoned all of my activities in the trans community. I didnt want to be a part of any of it anymore and I didnt want to deal with any of the dysphoria that came with watching the progress of everyone else. It was too much. I met friends through the group that kind of drifted away to do their own things, and in my own opinion, forgetting the little guys that looked up to them. It just became too much. I was struggling with SH and the rejection my family was putting on me plus just about every other nasty thought that ran through my head on my own doing. So I left, and I apologize for that. I'm still struggling with the SH. I thought certain things around cure that problem for me but apparently it will still be a struggle. Not sure why I thought otherwise. But I wanted to update you all--No, I NEEDED to update you all on this. A struggle you all knew I was having. TW: Possibly graphic to some people . . . As of April 30th, I've officially had top surgery done. The procedure was done by Dr.Robert Feins in Manchester NH and done at the Nashua Surgical Center in Nashua NH. I'm still a few weeks into healing but so far I love the results. I've had a few issues with the incision line as you can see in the front, but it is expected to smooth itself out on its own. They removed a total of TWELVE AND A HALF POUNDS off my chest and will remove more after I heal when they do the revisions on the sides and possibly the front. Aside from about 2500$ out of pocket (deductable, tissue sample tests, anesthesia and etc), my insurance through Harvard Pilgrim covered my surgery. It's so nice to be able to breathe and move around properly, though now I've come to realize how big my belly is (now that I can SEE it). But in due time, I plan to fix that. Work right now has been chaotic and we've had one person quit so a lot of the job falls onto me. Sadly, I've also considered quitting my job. But I feel awful for considering it so soon after getting my surgery covered by insurance through my job. I feel like pitching out now will be like "thanks for the surgery, bye!" but I'm seriously at my wits end with this job. I'm exhausted, nothing is consistent, there is zero communication and its just so frustrating. It's not what I want to do. I planned to go into the police academy. Which brings me to our next topic. Education: I was homeschooled by my mother, who I am no longer on speaking terms with. I've come to realize that me being homeschooled was just a byproduct of her doting on my older sister, like always. She struggled in school so we ALL got taken out. As an aftermath, my education lacked horribly. I was handed my text books and left to essentially figure it out on my own, lying on tests to make it more believable as I was given the answer keys just so I could pass and she wouldnt get in trouble. As a result, I've taken the time to make a resume to apply for Dispatch 911 operator. I cannot be a police officer right now so I'm starting small. However, when I found my highschool diploma...I realized that its FAKE. My mother never actually got me a diploma and using said diploma (which she didnt even bother to fill out) would be fraud. So, I need to get a GED apparently. I'm beyond furious that she lied to me and I dont actually have a highschool diploma but I cannot say that I am surprised either. Job: As said before, I'm still working security but want to change my job. Life: MY BROTHER IS LIVING WITH ME. I cant remember if I told you all that, but my brother (19 and trans) was being verbally and mentally abused by my mother but I had no way to get him to safety. UNTIL my partner and I were able to get an apartment with 2 bedrooms and I took him to live with me! He's been here about 5 or so months and it's been rocky here and there but we're happy and he's safe so that makes me happy! My SH is somewhat under control right now. I'm about 3 months SH free but I dont suspect that'll last with the stress I'm under right now. Youtube: I have quit youtube for now with the sad realization that I had no place in it to begin with. I had nothing to talk about, not much of anyone watching, and no idea what I was talking about half the time anyway. I had removed all of my videos and washed my hands of it until I feel comfortable enough to start it up again. My first video will probably be about my next topic. Transness---Am I really trans?: Due to a series of events that I'm not sure how it started but it all sort of fell into my lap regardless, I've had some sneaking suspitions on my gender. No, scratch that. My Sex. I know my gender. I know I'm a guy and I am totally cool with that. It was the sex I was not certain of. Now most people can look down and go "yup, my sex is _____" and call it a day. I've never really had that. I've been with several cis women and I never really felt as if I was on that same level that they were. Something was just...off. Looking back at my childhood, I realized little things here and there that greatly supported my suspicions. It was not until meeting a friend of mine who is a counciler for LGBTQ+ teens and talking to her a bit that I stumbled on my own reality. It all fit, like one of those puzzles you forgot you had but never finished. The I in LGBTQI+. Several medical abnormalities, a few extra doses of T that I normally shouldnt have, some things in my sexual adventures that were a little off and not to mention the adam's apple, abundance of hair and my overall structure made me stop and poke her brain into the world of Intersex. It took me only ten minutes to realize that it all sounded a little too familiar. I didnt call my doctor because...let's face it. I had to teach HER about transgender things. You really think she'll know anything about intersex? And I cant just go get a new doctor, a complete stranger, and go "hey, I think I'm intersex. Let's chat." No, I stuck with my own "professional" and we dove into it through texts and chats and me doing my own exams with her guidance. Then the big leap. That huge jump that I've never actually thought I'd ever take but I was so desperate to know the truth that I did it anyway. Pictures. I showed her my concerns and she took all of five minutes to confirm everything without even needing to consult her books. I'm not male, I'm not female, I'm intersex. And from her own expertise and what she can see without me physically being there--The doctors who delivered me took that extra step to keep me labeled female; most likely without my mother's consent. However, little things my mother had said to me in the past that seemed irrelevent back then are now horribly relevent and now make perfect sense. She had to have known at least a little bit. But why did she fight it so hard when I came out as trans? Why does she constantly throw that in my face that I'm born a girl? I have a feeling that even if I asked her, she'd lie to my face. So I'm content with not bothering to quiz her on the details of my birth, if she even knew about that aspect of my sex. But now I know, and honestly---I feel more at peace with my sex than I did before. Like that hole in my identity has been filled and it finally all makes sense. I'm Pseudomale Intersex and you know what? I'm okay with that. And this is the first time I've said it somewhat publicly. Some have asked me "Can you even be trans then if you were never technically cis?" and the answer would be "yes" to that. I've had to do some thinking on that myself, actually. But because I still ended up with some altering I had to do and the fact that some of my 'gear' is not cis male, that still makes me trans. And I'm cool with that. And even better, my partner shrugged it off and said "nothing's changed. I've been with you for 8 years, I'm cool with it." Which brings us to: Partners: I'm still with my amazing bf Justin. He's been insanely supportive of me and he and my brother were my saving graces during my surgery recovery time. They were so careful to help me and be the most help they could possibly be. I dont know where I'd be without them. So I think that pretty much catches you all up on my life right now. I do plan to add more blog posts now that I have my account again and I look forward to catching up with everyone again. I hope you're all well and I hope to see your lovely faces again. Lots of love, Warren
  7. MonicaPz

    Why Stress Right

    Dear Michele, Please let me respond . . . My looks - I focus on finding my voice, both physically and emotionally. Am a woman of size, so I work on feeling that people of all sizes and shapes are beautiful! 😉 Will I be loved for whom I am? - Always am seeking having a PURPOSE, that is, what can I contribute to my loved ones and community? 😊 Does my life matter? - Of course, your life and mine DOES matter, otherwise our Higher Power would not permit us to be on Earth. 😇 Do others like me? - Focus on having a FEW good, quality friends instead of winning a popularity contest. As for my family, I consider the T/LGBT community my family. The painful reality is that I can not make anyone like or love me. Even if I could, I wouldn't even try. 😄 Take your time to FIRST find a supportive therapist, support group and save up to attend the nearest transgender conference. Likely, your cup size will be one cup smaller than your mother's and sisters. 😯 With the right surgeon, your vagina will be indistinguishable from that of a cisgender woman's, so much so, that a gynecologist wouldn't be able to tell the difference! Have seen the vaginas of two post open transwomen (not sexually), and I could not tell the difference! 😷 As you get older, you will be less obsessed about these things, as I have! 😊 Michele, don't forget you have many friends right here, and you'll make even more (face to face) friends as you gain self-confidence. Don't forget you are going through a second (female) adolescence as you transition. 😃 Your friend, Monica
  8. Emma

    Why Stress Right

    Truer words were never spoken Michele. Like you I finally attain - if only for limited time - a lack of concern about how the rest of the world perceives me. Achieving this more consistently seems so hard. It's hard to be trans, especially if like you and I, we transition. It's been particularly hard the last two days. You see, I have an appointment tomorrow in Chicago for "large volume electrolysis" where two electrologists will work simultaneously to clear my facial hair in one very long 12-hour day. They require that I have not shaved for at least 4-5 days so as you can imagine by yesterday my facial hair was quite noticeable to anyone who looked at me as I travelled from Seattle to Chicago. Today I'm holed up in a hotel room trying to survive on one rather expensive chicken salad from room service along with some nuts and instant oatmeal I brought with me. I can't stand the feeling of this beard and would be mightily tempted to shave it off if I'd brought a shaver and shave creme. Thankfully I didn't! About breast growth, I understand that too of course. I've taken to using a Noogleberry pump system morning and evening for about 45 minutes each time. I guess they're growing but it's hard to be sure. Even if they are I don't know whether they are the result of hormones, Noogleberry, or both. I plan on "Noogling" through the end of 2018 at least in the hopes of at least full B's. You wrote: "People will.only be honestly happy for me if I'm honestly happy for myself." I believe that to be true too. In general I am pretty darned happy these days and I'm finding that people around me pick up on that and are happy with for for me right back! Best wishes, Emma
  9. Emma

    Inauthenticity vs. Authenticity

    Hi Monica, I could not agree more. I'm also very tuned into being mindful although it's hard at times, isn't it. It helps to be reminded, thank you! Emma
  10. Michele800226

    Why Stress Right

    Hi there all I always stressed about the most insignificant things in the world... My looks? Will I be loved for who I am? Does my life matter at all? Am I making a difference on how people view me and others like me? Can I change the perspective of people who think less of me for not identifying with my given gender on my birth certificate? What does my family think of me? Are my friends just friends to find out if I will fail in life and my dreams? How successful will I be before and after I start medically transitioning? Could life be easier if I just take life as other think I should live it? Does my happiness count? Will I ever find a doctor who supports my decision in transitioning? Will I pass successfully? Would I get at least a 34B cup size when transitioning? Will my vagina, my purse, my sweet spot, my numph, my cookie, my vee jay jay, my oooh la laaaah ever look perfect like a naturally born cis gender female? Well, as the years passed, I became less obsessed with all of this, because my boobies, certainly decided to stop at only ??? Important only, if they appreciate my honesty in who I am and what I do. Thanks all. This wasnt long, because it was just the what if I don't then.what now, to oh screw what they think. People will.only be honestly happy for me if I'm honestly happy for myself. Hugs Michele
  11. MonicaPz

    Inauthenticity vs. Authenticity

    Dear Emma, Believe that living authentically means living a MINDFUL life as continuously as possible. We are constantly evolving, so what was authentic 10 years ago is not likely authentic TODAY, but hopefully was authentic 10 years ago. As for me, I try to be centered as possible at all times, although I am not always successful! 😉 Your friend, Monica
  12. MonicaPz

    The Leopard Print Dress

    Dear MichelleLea and Emma, Love shopping for clothes with a girlfriend as I feel two heads are better than one! Even if my sense of style is different than hers, I would like her input, after I shared with her what I am trying to achieve and why, and vice versa. Your friend, Monica
  13. Emma

    The Leopard Print Dress

    I think it’s hard to figure this stuff out and unless whoever goes with you is a fashion expert whose style you love, well, I think you’re better off going on your own. And then only buy things you really love. Check out the return policy so you give yourself a few days to reflect and consider.
  14. MichelleLea

    The Leopard Print Dress

    I have to agree that cheap clothes just don't ever look or fit right. I will have to experiment with going out looks--first, I have to find someone to go out with. Maybe it's time.
  15. Earlier
  16. Elsa

    My Transition

    Hi All Thank you for your kind words and understanding, I agree Monica you cannot live a lie, this has become so apparent to me over the last 5 months. I am now my true self and I have never felt more complete in my entire life. Emma I agree while it has taken a lot of courage to finally admit my truth, now that I have I would not change they way I feel now for anyone or thing. I am stronger, more self assured and confident than any time in my life. Hugs and Kisses Elsa
  17. A friend of mine who happens to be non-binary wrote to me this morning about a speech he made yesterday at a monthly event were locals in his community speak on that month's theme. For May it was "epiphany" and... he won! I've had my own epiphany in the last couple of weeks that I'd like to share. Over the years I've often read about the need to live authentically. I assumed that meant I needed to find a different job, career, or otherwise "find myself." I had about three major career changes (broadcast engineering, outside high-tech sales, high-tech marketing and business development), worked for a dozen companies, and even tried my hand at starting my own ventures. I even once really committed to learning fiction writing on the assumption that "if Dan Brown can do it why not me?" (The Da Vinci Code had an interesting premise but in my opinion exhibited pretty marginal writing chops.) I think it's fair to say that through the first 5 decades of my life I tried really hard to "find myself" and although I experienced thrills and euphoria with each new thing (like the infatuation people feel with a new lover) I soon found them a bit tedious, got depressed, and then found myself slogging along once again. Of late I feel I've broken through to the "other side" of my transition where I just live my life as Emma, a woman who happens to be transgender. I feel very good, better and more excited about life than I've ever been. It occurred to me recently that hey, I'm actually living authentically and I love it! It's like it all snuck up on me without planning or awareness. I then realized that all these years I've been trying to cope, to live inauthentically, and wasn't even cognizant of it. What I've learned is that when one is compelled to live inauthentically that begets more inauthenticity, like lies requiring additional layers to maintain their deceit. And I've been that way since before kindergarten, trying to live according to others' rules and expectations, utterly ashamed of my core need to be female. Maintaining all that is stressful and exhausting. As a teenager I well recall being on hair-trigger, ready to be slighted. As an adult I was often upset and I didn't know exactly why, often depressed, and like someone treading water in the ocean waiting for life to just be over. At the risk of stating the obvious here it's amazing how important it is to live authentically! Just as inauthenticity leads to more inauthenticity, authenticity feeds on itself creating more authenticity, more satisfying relationships, all that stuff. Obviously (I hope) everyone's mileage may vary: I'm not preaching that everyone should transition or how they should go about achieving their own authenticity. I'm just so grateful to have gotten to where I am. Being an active member of the Transgender Guide among other things has helped me so much, I hope it helps you too. Emma
  18. Steph53

    My Transition

    Hiya Monica. There Is A Very Old, but, True saying:- " You Can Choose Your Friend's, but Sadly, You Cannot Choose Your Family !! Your Friend's However, ARE The Family, Who You Can Choose For Yourself !! " I have A Very Large Extended Blood Family. However, I see My Oldest Son, and My Youngest Son, together, for 2 hour's, just once a month ! I have seen My Middle Son, just 3 times, in a few day’s short of a. Year and a half ! My Now estranged Wife, is Unfortunately, the only other Person I see ! However, I have made a lot of Friend's, since I started My Transition ! They are more of A Family, than My Blood Family, has Ever Been ! Monica, it is so Very Sad, when A Family force somebody to live a lie. This was partly why I did Not start My Transition, until aged 53. However, I do Not look back. Apart from A Recent Cancer, I Am Much Happier and More Contented, than I have ever been before ! Monica, I hope that You also manage to find someone, Sweetheart. Monica, and Emma, and Elsa, Be Happy All of You !! Ladies, Take Care, because I Care, Big Hugs, And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. ( Steph53 ). xxxx
  19. MonicaPz

    The Leopard Print Dress

    Dear Emma, Very well said. Great advice no matter who you are! As for myself, I try to go for a TAILORED look. Two dear friends from Philadelphia, PA, send me wonderful T/LGB magazines that I learn a lot from. When I plan on visiting them, I hope I will have saved up some money to buy at some of the stores/boutiques featured in the magazines. Your friend, Monica
  20. MonicaPz

    My Transition

    Dear Elsa, Steph and Emma, Sadly, I am acquainted with a Lesbian woman, who is being forced by her family to "go Straight." She used to be a "Heavy Butch," with a crew cut and wearing men's clothes. She was forced by her family to wear a feminine wig, until her hair grew out, now wearing a very feminine, curly haircut, dyed blond. Also, she is forced to wear very feminine clothes. She hates my guts, (she sees me on the bus), harassing me (the police is now involved), because, although I am not "flaming out," I am openly a Lesbian. Feel sorry for her, as all her behavior is at the behest of her family, except she takes it a step farther, having a boyfriend or husband. Apparently she was threatened with being disowned by her family. My family stopped short of forcing me to date/marry. Two deeply closeted Lesbians take me out once or twice a month (one of these times to a women's support group), and trying to help me find a girlfriend (whom I'm told will be deeply closeted, due to where I live). The fem is an executive secretary, and the butch, in the medical field. What is the upshot of all of this? Don't live a lie. Am on the waitlist for senior public housing in Burlington, VT and Seattle, WA, which may take years. May have to move sight unseen because of my very low income. For what it's worth, I see the T/LGB community as my family, not my family of origin. Your friend, Monica
  21. Emma

    My Transition

    Hi Elsa, Your story parallels mine in so many ways. I just turned 62 last weekend and started HRT 9 months ago while also transitioning to full time living as a woman. Self doubt was also a mainstay companion but those feelings have reduced so much. I’ve never felt better in my life,. I read about people feeling this way before of course and I didn’t really believe it. I thought they were experiencing a euphoria. Now I know that I was incorrect. People say we are brave and courageous and at times we are. It’s certainly a Hero’s Journey and I thank goodness I’m living it! I hope to read more about your experiences! Emma
  22. Steph53

    My Transition

    Hiya Elsa. I don't Know if You are in the U.K. or U.S.A. !! I Am Stephanie, A 56 Year Old Trans'Female, and I AM in the U.K. I Am now over 3 Year's into My Transition, and I told My Now Estranged Wife, on the Evening of 30th. April, 2015; ( was aged 53 ), and I went the following Morning, ( 1st. May, 2015 ); and Bought loads of Underwear, and Clothes, and Nightwear, and I went Home, and I got changed into My New Clothes, then I went up to London, to Long Tall Sally, to buy Shoes. I went and told My Doctor's ( 67 Day's into My Transition, ) and they contacted The Gender Identity Clinic up in London, that Very Day, ( 25th. June, 2015). I have already had 3 appointment's at The G.I.C. Elsa, You Should try and find an L.G.B.T. Organisation, or Group, near where You live ! It is something that I Have done, and I Now have a Fairly Good support Network around Me ! You DO need a Support Network ! If You would like to contact Me at all, Please feel free to do so ! If You look at My Profile, it will tell You More ! If I can be of any Help. Or Advice, I will be. Elsa, Good Luck Young Lady. I hope that Everything goes Really Well for You ! Take Care Honey, And My Very Best Wishes, Stephanie. (Steph53 ). xx
  23. Elsa

    My Transition

    Hi All What a 5 months it has been for me after finally deciding to confront my (at the time crossdressing needs) after almost 60 years of denial, guilt and shame. Little did I know at the time that, as I write this, I would be on the path to transitioning and living full time as a woman. My initial thoughts just after Christmas 2017 was to admit and accept that I liked to dress as a woman and that need would be satisfied on a part time basis and in private. I would come out to my family and depending on their reaction would be allowed to do this with their consent or continue in private or (the painful part) go our seperate ways. As I finally accepted (mid Jan 2018) the need to dress became more urgent and I had become quite obsessive about it to the extent I could think of nothing else. This was confusing and created an enormous amount of conflict. After one final round of guilt, shame and a complete purge of all of my feminine attire and an absolute determination to end this aspect of my life, I thought I was free of it, My resolve lasted less than 24 hours. It was at this stage I decided to seek counselling. I made an appointment for mid Feb 2018 to see a specialist in transgender issues. While I waited for the appointment day to arrive I immersed my self in research into all things crossdressing and transgender, I read all I could so I could try to understand what I was. I also began to rebuild my feminine wardrobe and vowed I would never purge, feel guilty or shame again. About 1 week before my appointment I was driving to the local shops and had a nagging thought racing around my head. As I parked at the shopping centre I found myself just sitting in my car with this thought determined to be heard and voiced. For about 10 minutes I could not bring myself to say a few simple words until they finally broke free. "I am A Woman" I almost shouted them and quickly looked around to make sure no one heard me, and then the dam broke sobbing tears for about 5 minutes before I could pull myself back together. It was the voicing of this sentence "I am A Woman" that my life and where I was heading all made sense. My thoughts cleared, the internal conflict was erased and I found myself at peace with myself. By the time I got to see the specialist, the following Saturday, it was not about my problems but an open and frank discussion about being a transgender woman and what my journey would look like from that point forward. Since then I have come out to my family and friends (mid Feb 2018) and all have been supportive, including my wife ( although we have decided to seperate but will remain friends). As the days and weeks have passed doubts have pressed forward, this can't be right, how can I be a woman, I am 60 years old, get a grip, be a man, stop this nonsense etc etc. As the weeks have turned into months the doubts have been largely silenced and not only have I accepted that I am A Woman but acceptance has turned to joy and pride as I now know who I am and was meant to be, and my feminine wardrobe has expanded rapidly. This week on May 15th I visited my Doctor and we have begun the process of me becoming a woman, blood tests have been done and an appointment made to see a Psychiatrist for a formal evaluation, ( my Dr said this is a formality in my case) before I start female hormone therapy. There no doubt will be many hurdles to jump and tears along the way as well, and I hope, many good moments but I feel mentally stronger and more self assured that I will be able to overcome anything thrown in my way. Thank you if you have read this far. It is sights and communities like Tgguide.com that remind me I am not alone on this journey and there are many like minded souls out there. Finally I can live my life as my authentic and true self Lots of big hugs and kisses Elsa
  24. Emma

    The Leopard Print Dress

    I agree Monica! This evening I was taken out to dinner by a couple of friends to a hip restaurant along Lake Washington. I wore sandals, skinny jeans, a pretty and flowery top, and a white sweater. We had a blast! It can be challenging to determine ones style and then making it a reality. I think it’s good advice to notice what others wear that you like and then to try to follow their lead. It’s expensive though and I was tempted to buy lesser quality clothing on Amazon among others. I’ve had a lot of success at women’s clothing consignment shops which try hard to carry quality items (which don’t sit around). Go often, experiment, and try not to buy anything - no matter how “cheap” - that you don’t absolutely love!
  25. MonicaPz

    The Leopard Print Dress

    Dear MichelleLea and Emma, Think looking APPROPRIATE and REALISTIC should be your goals looking like you are women, because you ARE women. Most older women emphasize CLOTHING and ACCESSORIES. Went out with my friend yesterday, and no one bothered us. She was a transwoman, aged 71, and I am a cisgender woman, aged 60. Try to get out with friends, as I find it so healing. Your friend, Monica
  26. Went in to a Horton's yesterday and the woman there said to me and my wife "how are you doing ladies."  I was dressed a bit feminine but not overly so.  Still being coded almost daily as a woman and I really an not trying to go out of my way to make myself look like a woman.  Dawn

  27. EShaver

    Technical help needed in posting photos

    Michael, I'm headed to a camera shop this week . I'll get back to ya ....
  28. Michele800226

    Long Time, but I'm still here

    Hi there Warren I know this is more then a year later. But hey the promotion is an upside. The feeling of dissociation and lack of sensation is the thing that worries me too. Don't feel so glum, my medical aid as we call it in South Africa, also doesn't cover my surgeries. They only covered one when it was linked to cancer. The fools, dont they know even with healthy parts they still feel like growths that should be removed. I do hope that in this 16 months it took me to respond that you were relieved and can feel your manly chest and see how the pecks firm up as you lift the weight and you show off your muscles. Because not even I would want my boobs to suffocate me, they fine being small A cups, I can run, do speed bumps fast and fight with relatively ease, as they perfectly sized for being a police officer. And yes, if they were bigger, my bulletproof would be so much more uncomfortable. But this isn't about me. Your vocabulary says male, your ID does too. You definitely male, and therefore sir, why be so glum. The other nuances of you shout male, just hope the last sections are or have fallen into place for you to feel complete. Like an older sister would say, okay I'm unique. Lets go spar and hit the crap out of the feelings you are feeling. And in the ring say, bro git slightly softer, girl here. Wait and check my level of fighting and counter, not just try and knock me out cold as if I was nothing to start with. But then again, I would also be throwing punches and kicks to either throw you off balance or knock you out cold. Be safe man. Don't think you don't have people in your corner. We are here for you, even if we can only listen to you venting your frustrations. Hugs Michele
  29. Not the best mood but hey, feelings of disphoria, only because I'm realizing I'm not todays children anymore.  Grey poked out and said, hello mama you look sexy todat, but remember your older then the norm you look like.  Blooming B had me in tears for a few minutes.

     

    Then my highlight came, happy mother's day Ou Vrou (nickname from my other half meaning Old Woman, but its the name he calls me when everything is well.  My name either signifies being angry or worried about me, yes the tone tells me which one).  Reminded that even though I'm not the biological mother, I'm still their mother for the love and support I give our babies.  Even the danger or unknown I've stepped in to help them.  What a learning curve this has been for me.

     

    Happy Mother's Day you lovely ladies.  May your children and other half (sometimes better and sometimes worse)

    1. Steph53

      Steph53

      Hiya Michele. Happy Mother's Day Babes. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

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