KarenPayne

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About KarenPayne

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 01/27/1956

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  • Website URL http://karenpayneblog.com/
  • Skype karenpayneoregon

Profile Information

  • Gender Female
  • Location Oregon USA
  • Interests Drive my 2016 Mazda Miata, playing guitar, teaching self-defense, teaching software developement.

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KarenPayne's Activity

  1. KarenPayne added a post in a topic: cis women support for CDs   

    When I told my best female friend I was transitioning she hugged me and then said "we need to go shopping". So I never asked anyone, they told me. Besides shopping we also did makeup sessions at Macy's.
    The only suggestion for doing this is to work (if needed) on the female voice.
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  2. KarenPayne added a post in a topic: Female voice improvement   

    There are many you tube videos out there along with lessons you can purchase but nothing beats finding a teacher to take lessons from. 
    I tried various approaches but never really made progress (even though I sound decent as a female) until I took personal lessons. My teacher had decades of experience teaching singers and transgender students where this experience helped me make great progress in six lessons over six weeks in one hour sessions.
    No matter what path you take and your age keep in mind at first the middle brain wants to go back to the "easy voice" which in this case is you male voice. The brain think "hey man, this is too much work". Also (and this was my biggest challenge) being around people who make you comfortable many time will put you off guard and the voice lowers. One must always be working to keep the voice, pitch and resonance in the proper range.
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  3. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: How To Survive The Holidays   

    I’m 61, post twenties I lived with someone in a relationship and in marriage for a total of 30 years with twenty years in marriage. From there I dated for 15 years then stopped any long-term relationship for the past three years starting one year before my surgery. It was difficult for one year prior to surgery because I was in limbo per-say. The years since surgery I’ve dated a lot but have not found anyone I desire to be with in a long-term relationship yet happy 95 percent of the time.

    There is a good deal to be said for short term relationships (for me) and they suit me for the most part as my gender conflicts never fully allowed me to be perfectly happy which if (and have no clue) I had been cisgender without gender conflicts I may very well had been content but will never know.

    Thinking of the future I can see myself in a relationship with a partner but if I wait too long seeking a long-term relationship would be more of a long-term friendship.

    What suits me in either one a long-term relationship or a long-term friendship but more likely will be a long-term friendship as the female side of my family tend to outlive others close to them. My mother is 95 who for the most part has no friends because there is nobody in her area at her age that are ambulatory. My grandmother and great grand mother lived close to ninety. All three in their later years only had family, all friends long dead.

    I’m sure my genes are the same as them. When I tell people my age they will say I appear to be in my early fifties. Now, no signs of slowing down.

    The way I see things is humans were meant to be together for the most part but sadly not everyone will find a true partner, that is a rare and precious thing.

    Monica, what I get from your post is you have placed everything in perspective where there are no surprises. Sounds like the main obstacle is financing which at this stage of life is a huge barrier that is hard to overcome and sorry to hear this. Your finance barrier is no different from by gender issues.

    Anyways that is my input, it is what it is.


     

     
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  4. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: How do you know the difference?   

    I've belong to a group of preppers since 2005. No tinfoil,just ready for anything from natural disasters to social disorder and anything in between. We have people with all the skills to survive most incidents. I'm also part of my cities CERT team.
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  5. KarenPayne added a post in a topic: US transgender people rush to legally change gender in wake of Donald Trump's win   

    There is an interesting trend recently in a transgender group I belong to on Facebook which is that the majority (and the majority are between the age of 20 through 30) are indeed rushing their legal name changes but have reversed their thoughts on fully transitioning. Matter of fact many could careless if they "pass" and that the majority in the group see this as a trigger to their dysphoria which seems odd until I also notice many see themselves as not one gender but fluid in their gender.
    The above refers to both male and female although I've seen no drop in the percentage of female to male that are moving forward with breast removal.
    So at least in this group they are not what I've seen in prior years and will be interesting to see where this ends up. 
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  6. KarenPayne added a post in a topic: Transgender Physician in Portland, Oregon Area   

    Dr. Becker has a replacement in the same group, Dr. Tubman. Had one appointment with her so far and think she is great. I usually go to the Oregon City office.
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  7. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: Update   

    Good to hear you are doing well. Take care of yourself over the next few weeks and do get out and take short walks.
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  8. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: GRS Part II   

    So happy all went well other then the bed (it sounds like). Expect to sleep a lot for the next week or so which is normal and eat healthy along with drinking more water than you would normal.
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  9. KarenPayne added a blog entry in Karen's thoughts   

    Looking back on 2016
    Reflecting back on the year 2016 I've very pleased with the decisions I've made and new friendships made. Now it's time to see what happens as hormones progress changes to my physical and mental attributes as most know as years go by hormones tend to incrementally change one's behaviorism and I have noticed in the past several months a noticeable change not per-say in moods but how I react to things and events that several years ago I would had reacted totally different than today.
    Thinking about assimilation into a female role where many leave the trans world behind at my point in my journey I'm still going to mentor and assist those less unfortunate then me in regards to being able to transition with virtually no issues while the majority are on the opposite end of the spectrum. When not with transgender people I never bring up the topic unless someone else starts a conversation e.g. "I've noticed a surge with transgender people..." and is not directed at me but with a group of people.
    Had a conversation with a cross dresser recently who heads up a cross dresser group indicated 99 percent of those who transition in her group leave the group and want nothing to do with them anymore. I said, can you blame them? Personally I rather see them do that but hopefully some will mentor others who's goal is to transition and need someone to assist them.
    That brings up an interesting thing, while out with a cross dresser group last weekend one of the girls said her future son-in-law was coming and that he is also a cross dresser and his future wife knows about this, wow, times are changing. I'm learning that many couples are accepting of their cross dressing partners but a few I talked to said if they even consider transitioning they were done with them, in short they married a male and need a male yet accepting of their partner showing their female side.
    It's a brave new world emerging. 
      
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  10. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: GRS (or SRS if your prefer)   

    Thinking about dilation, most surgeons will provide three dilators, in my case the first two sizes were a breeze while the third as extremely painful. So when at the larger size I would first use the medium size  one for the first five minutes then move to the larger size, still was painful for the first several days but much more manageable then not starting with the medium size one. 
    What I really like is Trojan lubricants H2O lube, more expensive then KY but well worth it and less messy.
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  11. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: GRS (or SRS if your prefer)   

    In regards to stay in the hospital, surgery was on a Tuesday, 6 AM in the morning, I left the hospital on Friday afternoon of the same week. Went in for post op appointment the following Monday morning. Macri Bowers suggest staying close by for one week so I did and made sure I got the best hotel possible which included a full kitchen, living room and bedroom. I spent time on the computer and television between Friday and Sunday then started venturing out after my Monday appointment, went shopping, got my nails done and socialized with a member from this site and a old friend from 30 years ago.
    They week stay is optional but felt if was a good idea too yet there were no problems other than me sleeping more than usual.
    I was very happy that I purchased a good donut seat which was very handy on the flight back to Oregon.
    BTW not sure what you were told but it's good to have plenty of wet wipes and sanitary pads for the first few weeks and KY jelly.
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  12. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: GRS (or SRS if your prefer)   

    Hi Chrissy,
    I think it's wonderful that you are defining your path now, we are all different and unique so why should any of us approach life the same way.
    Indeed I know about the clear diet, was thinking you could try cheese steaks the second week post surgery. I was back to my regular eating habits on week two. For week one I was eating solid food four days after surgery but not much of an appetite prior to that.
    In regards to after surgery the journey is how one changes overall with society and not physical. I've noticed many changes in my mannerism without even trying at this point and that also goes for emotions and slightly different thinking patterns.
    Thinking about moving more towards cisgender community, that is me at this point the majority of the time but have not disassociated myself completely from the LGBT community either. Where I work I'm seen as a cisgender female, the majority of friends are cisgender. Now with relationships I favor woman and the best place to meet them is in LGBT clubs. During the past year or so I've been very fortunate with dating females while have dated a few men they don't really give me pleasure or feelings like woman do. 
     
     
       
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  13. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: GRS (or SRS if your prefer)   

    Best wishes on your upcoming transformation. In regards to GRS marks the end of your transition, from my experience this is just another step in the journey as post-op brings with it for lack of better words more changes that are for the most part fabulous.
    If you never been to Philly, you might consider getting a cheese steak as they are the best in the world (I lived there for 40 years and know they are great).
     
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  14. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: Diversion and inclusion event   

    Another good resource for those are older in age 
    Getting started with C#
    There are so many ways to get started, Microsoft Visual Studio community edition provides an environment for learning and is free for learning.
    Microsoft Visual Studio Community Edition
    We all need to inspire others and improve ourselves.
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  15. KarenPayne added a blog entry in Karen's thoughts   

    Diversion and inclusion event
    I really was honored to be selected to be a panelist for an event which was part of a week long summit put on by Microsoft last month on diversion and inclusion which was originally titled woman in technology. I was approached by Microsoft for this event and after talking to them I said why not include all sectors which includes LGBT and those struggling because of race, beliefs and culture although most of the latter have been coming to light in recent times.
    They already know of my transition because when I transitioned I needed to change my name and gender for my account and that I'm a Microsoft MVP.
    The event began by a introduction to how the event would go then five questions were asked, each of the panelist were given time to respond. To be honest I don't remember the questions. I do remember that in the first question I focused on cisgender females and the transgender community. The second question I moved focus to LGBT as the other female panelist had the cisgender aspect covered.
    After finishing with the second question response I said something like, I'm one of the fortunate transgenders who transitioned unscaved which is not common place for most transgenders. Not only did I get an applause but a standing applause.
    After the questions were asked the audience was given time to ask us questions but nobody did. After that we sat there thinking that people might come up and ask questions and I had a handful talk with me, one asked for my contact information as they had a family member who was transgender.
    Over the following days I had people come up to me at the summit thanking me for speaking out and for having courage to speak. I told each and everyone of them is that I feel obligated to speak out for those who can not and that most who transition still need help but many times simply want nothing more to do with the transgender community and only want to blend in while there are others on the opposite end of the septum who are very vocal yet sometimes go to far and then we have some in the middle.
    I did say during the event that to get people from the transgender community is not simply on large companies but also on the transgender person to as I know all to well that to be in technology of writing or supporting software or hardware things change all the time. Those who make the big bucks do so because they are continually bettering themselves like myself and I worked hard, was a window treatment sales person who studied at night for a year before quitting my window treatment job for writing software.  
    Not everyone is cut out for working in IT but let's broaden this to other high paying professions and better your life along with showing others we are truly no different from cisgender and in some cases better.
    I put myself in front of several hundred people with afterwards thousands who did not know who I was now and prior now know. I didn't want recognition for myself but instead to enlighten the cisgender community about the transgender community. Sorry if I didn't speak up per say about other parts of LGBT as I wanted to focus on trans. I did have one attendee who confided with me that he was gay and was worried about how to present himself and I got him to be confident and saw that he was doing better after talking to him.  


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