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About KarenPayne

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 01/27/1956

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  • Website URL http://karenpayneblog.com/
  • Skype karenpayneoregon

Profile Information

  • Gender Female
  • Location Oregon USA
  • Interests Drive my 2016 Mazda Miata, playing guitar, teaching self-defense, teaching software developement.

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KarenPayne's Activity

  1. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: Birthday Blog   

    In regards to finding a man, one is out there for you, it's simply a matter of getting out there in the right places. For me finding a female was not that bad but had to change my mindset and of course present myself in the proper fashion.
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  2. KarenPayne added a blog entry in Karen's thoughts   

    Great weekend
    This past weekend I spent with a group like minded people who love driving Mazda Miata's. Friday we drove what the average person would consider a dangerous drive where in 19 miles there are 170 turns where the majority are marked at 20 MPH and we took them a good deal faster (the fastest was 70 MPH and the average was 45 MPH). Friday evening we have a group dinner with about 120 people. Saturday we drove two drives, one in the morning and one in the afternoon (Friday's drive was an all day event).
    When we returned on Saturday to the hotel I wore for the first time a bikini and was hit on by three men, that was a good feeling and was fun flirting. Saturday night was another dinner and I decided to wear a nice evening gown with heels (I seldom wear this attire) and had two of the men from the afternoon hit on me again.  It's nice being at this stage of my life not needing to worry about anyone even considering my former life and truly didn't think about it till now and decided to write this entry (as usual, as the thoughts enter my brain writing them down).
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  3. KarenPayne added a blog entry in Karen's thoughts   

    Healthier life style.
    First off, wish I’d thought of this earlier in life yet there is no bad time to start. I’ve been coloring my hair from dark brunette to blonde to dirty blonde and the consequences were thinning of hair but no hair loss (thank goodness).

    Decided it was time to combat the issue with vitamins and several hair mask and conditioners. It’s been one month now and have seen noticeable difference is the health of my hair. Downside is on the weekend I spend an hour dedicated to pampering my hair.

    I’ve also started having a professional facial done once a week and have noticed healthier skin.

    Couple the above with from fast food diet to one deal with meat a day with the rest salads and streamed vegetables.

    I think the above will pay dividends as time goes by with emphasis on leading a healthier life style.    

    Last but not least, since two more things, I never go out without a hat and sunglasses even when it’s not sunny. Maui Jim's prescription (progressives) sunglasses were my choice as I like the trial pair given to me along with testimonials from customers of more than ten years. Of course dependent on what I’m wearing I wear good sun block/screen lotion. 

    PS It's been over a year without any makeup other than a product which promotes healthy skin which has a slight makeup characteristic to it. 
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  4. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: Letter   

    Sorry to hear this has occurred, must have been done by a weak minded person.  
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  5. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: Providing my local community classes on self defense   

    In regards to keeping in a state of readiness, what happens when you are trained and disciplined is readiness is not in the fore front of one’s mind but is now instinctive in nature. I tend to be more in tune with what’s happening around me from “oh, those flowers are pretty” to “that person is acting in such a manner to be on alert”.

    Living both genders provides both a unique insight into how people perceive the opposite gender thinking prey, an easy target to “don’t mess with that person”. In my former life I remember when first beginning as an instructor my demeanor to students was for lack of better terms was “don’t mess with him” while countless times people would ask me if I was FBI, CIA etc. LOL. Then in my current life that pretty much never happens which is kind of cool. For instance my manager at work was talking about self-defense to another co-worker and I found a time to inject myself into the chat with a demonstration to show how I would handle the situation they were talking about. I remember his face, never seen me do this before. He is about thirty pounds more then me and several inches taller and boxes. I had him in a position where I could walk him around without any chance to escape using one hand to control him. Months later his boss joined in on a conversation and I asked for someone to volunteer for a similar demonstration, my boss stepped back and pushed his boss forward (lots of giggles came next).

    My point is not to say how good I am but instead to prove a point that a female/cross dresser or transgender can have the upper hand on an attacker because the attacker does not see it coming.

    Back in the day when I was training rough and tough military types we would train to the point that afterwards there at times were serious black and blue marks, blood and soreness between the legs (if you catch my meaning). The point here is I believe if a student really wants to be prepared they need to go past the clinical classroom setting to become inoculated to a sudden attack. I did my first such class for non-military and afterwards only a third of the students (all females) were a little disappointed that I did not go harder on them (as I did with military types). I told them that you are the minority and would offer another class to up the force-on-force level but sadly the class didn’t get more than eight people while my normal class would be 15 to 20. I’d hear back from the more dedicated students, not many which is good that they actually had to use the skills I taught than they all reported the force on force made a difference. Heck even my daughter told me this too when she had to fend off a frisky men.

    When I think of ingrained, that comes with training outside of the classroom. For one year I offered free follow up training once a month to students. Not many took me up on it but month after month the same six or so people showed up and progressed with their skills. Then there was a fortune 500 company who saw value in continual training and contracted me for a year to ensure employees had a set of skills that would possibly save their lives in a violent situation from various confrontations.

    Next week, at work where I’m part of the agency I work for we are putting together life like training for “Active shooter”, oh how this will be fun training 1,000 people. The head of security is former SWAT with an open mind which many law enforcement people are not to civilians and transgenders. 
    Seems I got a tad long winded here, my apologies.

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  6. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: Providing my local community classes on self defense   

    To elaborate (thinking about what bluemoon mentioned).
    One of the most important things as an instructor to understand is where students are coming from along with what they are willing to do or not do.
    With that I refrain from teaching firearms as a self-defense tool for this class but instead focus on
    Awareness OODA loop as a foundation https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OODA_loopColor codes https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_CooperVerbal Judo http://verbaljudo.com/Empty hand techniques to stop and attackEmpty hand techniques to control an attackImpact tools (flashlights for instance) to assist with larger attackersDealing with bystandersDealing with law enforcementI have lots of experience (including teaching firearms ranging from handguns to shotguns)
    I do understand those not willing to participate but at the same time many walked through the doors where I taught with either or physical or mental scars who would tell us they were the type not to take these classes but after an attack that changed everything.
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  7. KarenPayne added a blog entry in Karen's thoughts   

    Providing my local community classes on self defense
    My background includes certifications in what I call common defense that does not require years of training but does requires that my everyday students (I have professionals in military and police students). Two years ago I went under the knife to transition and after 12 plus years of teaching I put a pause on teaching.
    Over the past decade or so I've read about people in the LGBT community murders, bullied and so on. This gave rise to me seeking out in the past few months a place to teach that would be okay with the establishment allowing me to teach.
    Friday night I was given permission by the most popular LGBT club (I know some here are from Salem so it's South Side Speakeasy( to use their large back room normally for a card club (poker I believe is the popular choice). I provided my bio to the owner, told him what I would be teaching and the cost. He was very happy with me putting on this class and said it's been a long time coming.
    Note that the cost is nominal, more to get the interested to come as I've done free classes before where my assistants and myself noticed differences in commitment between those who paid and those who did not. 
    If anyone here is within the Portland/Salem Oregon area feel free to respond to when the dates will be. My first idea is to wait until after most people have finished their vacations and have the class on a Sunday mid-day into the early evening.
    Lastly, hopefully others here that are capable of teaching such a class are doing so in their area.
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  8. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: Transforming   

    I'm two years in transition wise and have noticed the male privilege aspect but have grown to not let this bother me as the pluses outweigh the loss of privileges. In regards to makeup, I only wear it for going out for the evening on a date or out with friends. What has become more important over the past few years in proper skin care which includes a trip to a salon (actually heading there now) for a facial.
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  9. KarenPayne added a blog entry in Karen's thoughts   

    Missed resources
    Went to pick up my regular prescriptions from the local pharmacy, the lady behind the counter called for the manager before handing over my prescriptions. He comes up and says, would you mind me changing our records to reflect your current gender? I said thought it was (and then thought back, sure enough I never did).
    I replied with "yes", done deal. He said, wow how times flies, I remember when you first started out and back then I didn't have a beard, look at me now lol.
    Then I went for an MRI (shoulder problem), yeek, they had me done as male, the person assisting me said I can see that is not true anymore and updated my records.
    All in the span of one week, here I slipped up and missed two local resources for over two years.
    So my point is, you may believe all your bases are covered when changing your gender but as I learned two were missed hence passing this along for others to consider "did I miss updating my gender someplace?"
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  10. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: Reflection on the past year   

    A wonderful feeling, is it not
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  11. KarenPayne added a post in a topic: cis women support for CDs   

    When I told my best female friend I was transitioning she hugged me and then said "we need to go shopping". So I never asked anyone, they told me. Besides shopping we also did makeup sessions at Macy's.
    The only suggestion for doing this is to work (if needed) on the female voice.
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  12. KarenPayne added a post in a topic: Female voice improvement   

    There are many you tube videos out there along with lessons you can purchase but nothing beats finding a teacher to take lessons from. 
    I tried various approaches but never really made progress (even though I sound decent as a female) until I took personal lessons. My teacher had decades of experience teaching singers and transgender students where this experience helped me make great progress in six lessons over six weeks in one hour sessions.
    No matter what path you take and your age keep in mind at first the middle brain wants to go back to the "easy voice" which in this case is you male voice. The brain think "hey man, this is too much work". Also (and this was my biggest challenge) being around people who make you comfortable many time will put you off guard and the voice lowers. One must always be working to keep the voice, pitch and resonance in the proper range.
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  13. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: How To Survive The Holidays   

    I’m 61, post twenties I lived with someone in a relationship and in marriage for a total of 30 years with twenty years in marriage. From there I dated for 15 years then stopped any long-term relationship for the past three years starting one year before my surgery. It was difficult for one year prior to surgery because I was in limbo per-say. The years since surgery I’ve dated a lot but have not found anyone I desire to be with in a long-term relationship yet happy 95 percent of the time.

    There is a good deal to be said for short term relationships (for me) and they suit me for the most part as my gender conflicts never fully allowed me to be perfectly happy which if (and have no clue) I had been cisgender without gender conflicts I may very well had been content but will never know.

    Thinking of the future I can see myself in a relationship with a partner but if I wait too long seeking a long-term relationship would be more of a long-term friendship.

    What suits me in either one a long-term relationship or a long-term friendship but more likely will be a long-term friendship as the female side of my family tend to outlive others close to them. My mother is 95 who for the most part has no friends because there is nobody in her area at her age that are ambulatory. My grandmother and great grand mother lived close to ninety. All three in their later years only had family, all friends long dead.

    I’m sure my genes are the same as them. When I tell people my age they will say I appear to be in my early fifties. Now, no signs of slowing down.

    The way I see things is humans were meant to be together for the most part but sadly not everyone will find a true partner, that is a rare and precious thing.

    Monica, what I get from your post is you have placed everything in perspective where there are no surprises. Sounds like the main obstacle is financing which at this stage of life is a huge barrier that is hard to overcome and sorry to hear this. Your finance barrier is no different from by gender issues.

    Anyways that is my input, it is what it is.


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  14. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: How do you know the difference?   

    I've belong to a group of preppers since 2005. No tinfoil,just ready for anything from natural disasters to social disorder and anything in between. We have people with all the skills to survive most incidents. I'm also part of my cities CERT team.
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  15. KarenPayne added a post in a topic: US transgender people rush to legally change gender in wake of Donald Trump's win   

    There is an interesting trend recently in a transgender group I belong to on Facebook which is that the majority (and the majority are between the age of 20 through 30) are indeed rushing their legal name changes but have reversed their thoughts on fully transitioning. Matter of fact many could careless if they "pass" and that the majority in the group see this as a trigger to their dysphoria which seems odd until I also notice many see themselves as not one gender but fluid in their gender.
    The above refers to both male and female although I've seen no drop in the percentage of female to male that are moving forward with breast removal.
    So at least in this group they are not what I've seen in prior years and will be interesting to see where this ends up. 
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