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About KarenPayne

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    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 01/27/1956

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  • Website URL http://karenpayneblog.com/
  • Skype karenpayneoregon

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  • Gender Female
  • Location Oregon USA

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KarenPayne's Activity

  1. KarenPayne added a blog entry in Karen's thoughts   

    Q&A: MVP Karen Payne Talks With Us About Being A Transgender Woman In Tech
    Several years ago I was asked to speak at Microsoft on "Diversity and Inclusion in the workplace". They wanted my perspective as a Microsoft MVP (Most Valued Professional) being transgender in the tech field. Only a handful at Microsoft knew I was transgender when I would meet with them but my lead at Microsoft asked me to participate and I said yet. From that I did the Diversion and Inclusion speech with a panel which then moved to me being interviewed (which was the second time, first time was the year prior for women in tech).
    So several weeks ago I was asked to do a write up for a Microsoft blog (which in the first paragraph has a link to another article for the New York Times). Never heard back from them but instead rec'd a tweet from another female MVP saying I should change my Twitter handle from (my old identity) of kevininstructor to kareninstructor. Learned that kareninstructor was taken (strange, may be I created it and forgot about it, will have to see) so I had to pick another one (ended up being a better selection). I then noticed that group Twitter account was cc'd so I went there and found a link to my blog entry. Now in all fairness I belong to the group and if I had checked it out would had know the blog was posted so fair is fair.
    Q&A: MVP Karen Payne Talks With Us About Being A Transgender Woman In Tech  
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  2. KarenPayne added a blog entry in Karen's thoughts   

    This morning I went down to chat with a fellow co-worker, asked him "I wonder if people here will dress up today?". I asked because not every year they will, kind of hit or miss. He was unsure same as me.
    He then told me that a former co-worker told him that I killed it one Halloween (way back in 1996) when I dressed up as a female. I vaguely remember until this jogged me memory. I had dressed in proper business attire, mid-size high heels, black stockings, black dress, just above the knees, while blouse and black blazer. As the story goes (because I didn't know this) was that this former co-worker arrived and thought to herself, who is that woman sitting in Kevin's desktop. She didn't say anything, waited for me to turn around and took a minute to realize I was dressed as a female.
    Any ways the former co-worker told my present co-worker I killed it in that it was not apparent that I was "me" until she stared at me for a minute. 
    That brought a smile to me today, twenty some years later, I will take it
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  3. KarenPayne added a blog entry in Karen's thoughts   

    Two year anniversary coming up
    With my two year anniversary in regards to physical surgeries coming up I have been reflecting on recent changes along with my comfort level has changed in the past few months.
    Although I've been very comfortable since surgery over time there are things that change which are not always easy to describe, for instance, how I view the world as a whole then how I view my part as a female in every aspect of my life. I know not everyone has positive outlooks, some have constraints of various kinds that have no control over them while others have the capabilities to overcome them where decisions are made to break them or move past them. Me, for the majority of them I have broken past them and part of this comes from self confidence.
    A good example (as per the image below) is me wearing a red dress out with several friends whom I made over the past two years, none of them know of my former life.

    Next up, I believe part of my mother is surfacing in me. She always dressed smartly during the day as a bank manager, when out for the evening with my father always turned heads (as my father would say) first from her beauty and also from how she dressed. With that, recently I wrote about my clothing style and I have continued by purchasing more dressed and shoes to go along with them. Yesterday I decided that the next element that needed to change was outerwear. So off to Macy's to look at winter coats where my goal was to find one something classy along with keeping me warm when it gets cold out. Never would I have guessed that the color shown below would be my final selection as in the past I've always gone with black but I think that all goes back to how one changes over time from the effects of hormones, physical surgeries and confidence. Back to the coat, the price tag said 275 USD with a 25 percent discount which should have brought it down to 207 but not sure how but it rang up as 154 (sweet), no complaints from me and decided not to ask how it got that low.

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  4. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: Dressing   

    I'm a firm believer in evaluating clothing. I go through my closet every several months to see what stays, what goes. Usually for what goes (which is never that much as my weight is fairly constant) are items that are not age appropriate e.g. a top that shows skin between the bottom of the top and the top of my pants/leggings/jeans.
    On a side note, have not worn anything but dresses in the past three weeks other than shorts for exercising. I've acquired ten ten dresses which prompted purchases of thigh highs and of course several new pairs of heels and earrings (getting to be high maintenance). While starting this new phase I did a valuation of older garments, not much to speak of in the realm of dresses or skirts as in the past two years I wore nothing but jeans and leggings. What is great, people noticed and received compliments at work, a patient at a spa and also in a mall (woman sitting down looks at me, I noticed, she says "you really look elegant") told me. So now my closet is really getting full and see in the near future a purge per-say and when I do so the first on my list are crossdressers who can't afford garments such as the ones I;m tossing from the closet. I tend to purchase in a fugal and sensible manner e.g. high heels tend to be under 60 dollars but when I see that 120 USD pair I can't resist (damn my daughter's best friend for pointing them out to me)  out comes the credit card. Yes I just did that yesterday and these are keepers.
    Thinking of parents, my father instilled in me to dress smartly like always tuck my shirt in at an early age, when seeking out a suit get it custom tailored. My mother (currently 94) has drilled into me I have great fashion sense since transitioning and keeps schooling me on "before tossing something" generally speaking if it still fits now and not in style likely it will be back in style in several years. I remember peeking into her closet at say 10 years old then say at 18 and she still had shoes that where there at 10 years old and sure enough she would not wear them for sometime then years later she would.
    Guess I'm just rambling on here and believe it's time to stop here. 
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  5. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: Dressing   

    Everyone is different, for instance if you have no hips some dresses will not look right then there are dresses that fit right everywhere but the chest region etc. I've found that for me PattyBoutik items work well for me but someone else they may not. Good example (for me) I just purchased the following which was designed for having some hip, I do so it works for me plus it suits me well overall. 
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  6. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: Decisions   

    ​In regards to not having access to surgery, point in fact, in Oregon you can use F for a male who identifies as female and M for a female who identifies as male. This is really the reason for the question (and may not have been clear about that). If a female who identifies as male uses M for their gender marker and is in a prison which places them in with men that is not a good situation or must be pat down at an airport etc.
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  7. KarenPayne added a blog entry in Karen's thoughts   

    I have created this poll after hearing a discussion on another forum. 
    There are many considerations e.g. you are born male but identify as female and want surgery, you were born male but identify as female but don't want surgery. Reverse this for female to male.
    Then of course there are binary and non-binary.
    Consider you are male, get F on your state id and commit a crime, go to jail but since you have male genitals you are placed in a male prison and the inmates know about your gender issues. Consider you are female and for the same reasons are placed in a male prison. Both cases there are high probability of ongoing sexual abuse.
    With that one simple case listed above, would you still change your gender marker?    
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  8. KarenPayne added a blog entry in Karen's thoughts   

    Meeting the family of an older transgender
    In one of the local transgender/cross-dresser groups one of the new members, close to 80 years old brought his wife and two daughters to a club we frequent. I walked in an hour if they got there because of my day long drive with the local sports car club. Said Hi, sat down. the new member, let's call her Jane introduces me to her family and doesn't actually say I'm transgender or post-op I'm guessing that it's assumed since the table is full of cross dressers. When Jane was done talking they asked me some questions, one of them was, what brings you to this club and being with crossdressers? I said, they are friends. The one daugher said "it's wonderful that you can be friends with them", I said it's easy as I was in their shoes not so long ago and now post-op.
    Her response was, really? I thought you were a female (meaning that I was born female) and would have never guessed otherwise, then the other daughter said pretty much the same thing. 
    So after chatting for several hours I can see Jane has a very supporting family, the two daughters have taken Jane out for makeovers, clothes shopping and even to selected a suitable wig for her. I could see that Jane is not going to have any issues with her family which is really nice. 
    When Jane first came to an outing with us several months ago she had never gone out dressed and was not dressed the first time. She has come a long way with the assistance of her family and our group.
    The group is named Rose City Girls. This group, the majority are cross-dressers has at least two events every week, one for dinner and one for out to a bar. They have golfing events, travel to various events and even do cruises. If you are in Oregon or Washington consider joining. The only requirement is a to have a photo of yourself and a valid email.
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  9. KarenPayne added a blog entry in Karen's thoughts   

    Clothing style uprooted
    Pre-surgery for as many years back as I can remember my clothing style was pretty much short skirts or dresses until the age of 50 then I slowly transitioned to jeans where there was something inside of me that provoked the change.
    Beginning with the year prior to physical transitioning I might have worn a skirt once or twice and stayed steadfast to jeans then to leggings which for whatever reason were my staple lower body garment of choice. I was wearing leggings with tops appropriate for various occasions, meaning my butt was not exposed.
    Heck if I can rational why two weeks ago I got a impulse to toss leggings, jeans and skirts and now totally into wearing dresses.
    I first visited Macy's in Portland Oregon as in Salem (my home town) Macy's I didn't care for the dress selections. Ended up with three dresses perfect for the workplace and two pairs of heels (I'm guessing 3.5 inches). To be totally engulfed with dresses, three was not enough, thinking it would be nice to have a variety, boat neck, scoop neck, below the knees, above the knees etc.
    Next stop was Amazon where another five dresses were added to my wardrobe. When to conclude (for now) things I hit a store in the local mall to purchase two evening dresses and another pair of heels.
    I'm going to do one last thing, winter is arriving shortly and once here will look for deals on dresses for next spring and summer, not a person that does "what's in style" either so I'm not going to worry about that too much.
     My only explanation for the change is hormones. For those who have been on hormones for several years I'm sure have seen gradual changes in both physical and mental areas and think this is part of my change in clothing style.
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  10. KarenPayne added a comment on a blog entry: Philadelphia Transgender Health Conference - Part I   

    Keep us informed please on how things go
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  11. KarenPayne added a blog entry in Karen's thoughts   

    So I'm going at this with no prior thought other than I need to write about two woman I know.
    Three weeks ago a good friend of mine was sitting in her living room and one of her dogs kept sniffing and licking her one breast. She ignored it until the dog kept doing it for two days. Had a mammogram done and sure enough cancer and to note, it runs in her family. Several days ago had surgery and being the brave person she is posted photos so that people think more of what can happen rather than simply thinking of a pink ribbon. She had ups and downs after surgery but seems to be doing okay now.
    Then today, another friend (and in the same circle of friends) was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had a mammogram done shortly after the woman above.
    Statistically speaking a woman passes every three to five minutes in the world from breast cancer.
    We are not immuned from breast cancer so if you have breast that were induced by hormones get them boobies checked out and have it done regularly.
    Above I indicated they are in the same circle, the three of us are defensive tactics instructors were an outstanding master (he has way too many things to list here) and we are all family from Oregon, Florida and Atlanta.
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  12. KarenPayne added a post in a topic: Makeup Kits   

    What I've learned is to get a make over by a professional, have them figure out the best shades for you for your eyes and face. The higher end makeup is much better than what you purchase in regular super markets and such.
    I settled on a brand called Benefit after having several makeovers done but that does not mean this brand is good for you.
    Many cross dressers are afraid to have this done but the professionals who do this are perfectly fine doing a cross dresser, all you should be concerned with is the customers and most times they are a non-issue from stories I've listen too, me, never had any issues.
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  13. KarenPayne added a blog entry in Karen's thoughts   

    Two moments out of my week
    Moment 1 Just went to an appointment for some skin care treatment at a spa. As they are going through my medical history they ask, are you on birth control (I give a ever so slight smile), I said no, then ask (and I would thought this question would be first) have you been through menopause? I said no (big smile inside). At the end of the consultation we shared war stories of breast augmentation, she with breast reduction, me, well yeah no it was the opposite. During the consultation she asked what are you doing this weekend? Well of course my sports car driving came up and afterwards she said, such a bad girl and we went out to see my car.
    Moment 2 I'm at a club with a group of cross-dressers, most are long timers with no intent for the majority to transition. I'm sitting at a table watching two of them play billiards when one of the newer members comes to sit with me from across the room. She says, I wanted you to know that if I didn't know you were once a male would never guess it and since I know the truth have to say you look so content with mannerisms of a female and even better your voice is nice in regards to female sounding.
    ANyways thought I'd share them.  
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  14. KarenPayne added a post in a topic: Need advice re: anesthetic cream so I can use Epilady on my face to get rid of beard   

    ​There is nothing that will assist other than electrolysis with coarse facial hair. You might (and this is a long shot) search for schools in your area that teaches electrolysis, see if they would use you for teaching (might be more painful with newbies).
    Another thought, when I was having electrolysis done I paid $40 per hour while in the next major city the cost jumped to $80 to $120 per hour. With that, if possible explore options in other close by cities.
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  15. KarenPayne added a post in a topic: Self defense class Oregon USA   

    Several weeks ago I was given permission to teach a self-defense class in a local business which is in the working stages for mid September. From the initial response I'm guessing there will be more than one date as I'm teaching this with limited assistance. I can teach people with zero skill with a class size of ten and with a secondary instructor (whom I must teach them my style) I can up class size to say 15. More likely there will be over 30 interested in this class.
    If you are in the area of Portland/Salem respond here if interested. I will be posting date-time shortly.
    This will be for anyone in normal physical health.
    The basics taught are easy to learn using leverage rather than strength.
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