Blogs

Popularity changes

Good day all Okay, don't be all flustered and think that it changed my attitude to the world, it didn't, I'm just pointing out what I did, and somehow I am still getting people following me and hitting on me. What I did I don't actually know. But this is the steps that I took. Maybe it was a form of liberation, but it was definitely a way to say, look at me and be certain that I am human and not going anywhere. In a recent Facebook entry I made I wrote: My bio * 36 years old * police of

December 6, 2016

Well...that didn't work out the way I meant it to.

So it's crazy busy season at Nikki's job and he hasn't had a day off in weeks. He MIGHT get one day next weekend, but it's also equally possible he'll work five weeks strait with no days off until the Christmas shutdown for the eve and day. And while he's upbeat about it, all the overtime is paying for our next cruise this spring for his birthday and his dad and stepmom are going (I love his dad, his dad is awesome. His stepmother stresses me out, shes a nice person overall, but she gets rand

December 5, 2016

Blair Jamie

A day in the life of detox and sobriety

A life of Drugs, parties, sex and crime VS A day in the life of detox and sobriety As of couple days after posting my last week’s blog I got the call from my councillor letting me know that there had a bed become avaible at a detox and if I wanted to I could go in as of Tuesday. Today’s weekly blog post is aimed to hopefully provide some insight as to my first week in detox, the pros, cons, challenges I had any just the life I’ve been leading whilst in here. I begin my detox journey bein

Blair

December 4, 2016

The things they don't tell you about marriage are legendary.

There is a seriously flawed cultural understanding of marriage in American society. There is this collective assumption that every marriage functions the same, and our media reinforces that. A giant wash of anything that doesn't look the same. For a country of freedom we do that a lot, alienation of people who look different, behave different, culturally different, etc. So much of this country really practices the 'freedom to be just like me' rather than 'freedom to be who you are in peace'.

December 1, 2016

Blair Jamie

A Life of Parties, Sex, Drugs and crime + HOW I ENDED UP ARRESTED!

Road On Recovery vs A life of Parties, sex,drugs and crime + how i ended up arrested. 1 year ago today I posted on my social media a picture of my everyday makeup routine ''My daily makeup routine, getting ready along with the difference between my wig an d real hair''. I remember looking back to this day a year ago posting it on my social media, very confident, very content with my life. I honestly felt as if i had it all and that i was meant to do something special in life and be part o

Blair

November 27, 2016

Thoughts on passing (again)

I’ve recently joined a closed group on Facebook where the majority of male to female members will post pictures of themselves and ask if they pass physically. Just about every since member who post and ask if they are passable indeed passable. Having been on this journey would like to offer a small piece of advice which is forget about passing physically and focus on your female voice. When I or any heterosexual male or female encounters a female without thinking “are they really female” expect

November 26, 2016

In retrospect

Good evening all Yes a retrospective look at what is what... Why so many transgender or gender non-confirming persons are to denied the passing as the gender they have always known themselves to be is the hardest to understand. It comes with the fact that some families would rather deal with a sibling or child as being heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual, but bring up the transgender or transsexual word and everyone freaks out. So in retrospect, I was thinking of the time I was trying t

November 22, 2016

Acquaintance GRS update

Several entries back I wrote about helping a male to female, surgery went wrong and ended up being hospitalized for many weeks because of rectovaginal fistula. Last week I saw her, she had a colostomy bag and indicated they would revisit what can be done in February. This week she said there is a possibility of using a colostomy bag either internal or external for the rest of her life. I can't even begin to imagine having the wear a colostomy bag forever because of a botched surgery. My advice f

November 21, 2016

Blair Jamie

Road On Recovery, Week 1

p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center; font: 14.0px Helvetica} p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px} p.p3 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica} p.p4 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px} Road On Recovery Week 1 This week was the first week that i have lived, laughed, cried and gone through my own daily stresses of life, finally seeing the world cl

Blair

November 20, 2016

Making an effort.

So since Nikki's depression has been seriously lifted due to the combined efforts of therapy and his medication and the life chagnes, I'm making an effort on the holidays this year. I have severely mixed feelings about holidays, so much unpleasantness to others hidden in that cheer, but what the #*&&. Nikki's having a good time and can use some festivity in the middle of winter. And me, being the extremely clumsy thing I am, managed to injure myself several times already trying to get

November 18, 2016

This week is kicking my butt.

Seriously, I'm getting next to nothing done. *headdesk* I need a cleaning buddy or something. I just have zero motivation this week, even showering was a massive endeaver. And, of course, I had a clumsy moment and forgot the dimensions of the shower when I dropped the soap and cracked my head but good on the wall. The lovely headache I had for half the day so DID not help. I honestly think I'm having some kind of episode, anxiety maybe? I just have this...constant feeling of vulnerability

November 16, 2016

Something about leave

Hi there all So I'm the middle of my leave currently and PMS striked again which is an enemy that is supposed to only strike me the last week of the month. But hey, it decided that it was a good time for me to get punched while the thinking is I am supposed to be down and for the count before of my revelation or make that truth finding. And on the same day, my blooming sinuses are also packing up and not in a mild way but a heavy attack. So yes, first few days I was sick, and called into wo

November 15, 2016

The current landscape

With the elections over and seeing many in the transgender community worried what it's going to be like with the new president which really nobody can say for sure it might be prudent to consider worst case scenarios. If I didn't have a passport this would be a wake up call to obtain one as at the current time for some it turns out to be difficult and in the future it may be even more difficult. Medical needs and prescriptions, what can happen is of course unknown but consider worst case, those

November 13, 2016

In and Out of Darkness

Introspection

I've been seeing a psychotherapist for a few weeks. It was a recommended course of action by the psychiatrist at the GIC and so I signed up. AI couple of weeks ago, I had a moment of clarity in one of our sessions. Yesterday I had another one. I have to give myself more time to grow into myself. Into the 'new' me. I've spent so much time and energy in the past year trying to speed things along, with GPs and the medical profession; trying to prove to others that I need treatment and I need to t

JayM

November 9, 2016

Too much, or just enough

Hi there everyone Know that this have been a while. But I can promise that I have more then enough to tell. Where to start, is a good question, and like I tell everyone go to the beginning. But in this instance, I will take different headings for different starts. So LONG STORY I THINK... DATING Well since I last was on I got in a relationship and ended it a few days ago. But here goes the experience. Well as I never go looking for things like this, I can't say that I was on the hun

November 9, 2016

Microsoft interview II

Last year was my first interview, today was my second. Last year they did the interview in Microsoft Studio were nobody sees this until pushed to the web. Big difference this year, they brought all their equipment to the main Microsoft building where there are thousands of people walking by and the camera is hotter without the AC of the studio. During the prior video you heard a question being asked then I would answer. This year they ask a question which is masked out, I repeat the question co

November 8, 2016

Inclusion and diversity at Microsoft

Two nights ago myself, two Microsoft managers and three Microsoft engineers formed a panel on inclusion and diversity in the workplace. The settings, a room filled to capacity (guessing 400), two wine bars, cheese and crackers. We sat on stage, each with our own microphones. Yes the entire event was video taped by a professional team. After a ten minute introduction by the sponsor (a Microsoft program manager) a question was asked, each one of us responded then moved on to the next question. At

November 8, 2016

Transformation will it solve your problems?

Several months ago I wrote about a person who had a botched surgery where the outcome was rectovaginal fistula. My part was simply support prior to surgery and assist if needed with dilation processes. Well after just over a week out of the hospital I pretty much ended my involvement with her as she was taken back in for corrective surgery and have not spoke to her. Last night at a bar, several cross-dressers met, we were having a great time then she walked in, sat down, we all said hello. She d

November 5, 2016

Oh Pinterest...what have you gotten me into?

I need a suit of armor. Nikki and I have been working on increasing our outdoor holiday lighting display. I suspect mainly because I really really love sparkly lights and Nikki likes to indulge me. But as you know I've stopped working, so our budget are smaller, but no worries! PInterest to save the day! And I found a great project to add to our lighting display, only it requires working chicken wire. Chicken wire is plain evil. But it would be a lovely inexpensive base for lighting in

November 3, 2016

Had a really good week, now I'm pretty much on my own for a while.

Crazy times. Things have been better inside my head since cutting my dad and his toxicity out. It's been two months since anyone called me or my son stupid, loser, and waste of life. That's a plus! I had a total panic meltdown a couple weeks ago, I woke up around ten, (I still have that ongoing insomnia, and sleep very late at ngiht to late morning) and went down the stairs, and something wasn't right. The air felt...wrong. A little damp, a little too cool. And then I noticed a light pat