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Blogs

Featured Entries

Lori's Blog

Transgender Bloggers Wanted: Share Your Journey

Create your own blog at TGGuide.com. It's FREE and you can start right now. Some people blog as a sort of journal to share our thoughts, feelings, experiences and insights. Others blog to express opinions on social and political issues. Others blog to share their knowledge and experience with others. Go ahead. Express yourself! Others may be grappling with issues you blog about and your words could provide useful insight or answers. Here are some blog topic ideas to get your creative juices f
  • Lori
Michele800226's Blog

Validation or Continuous Fight

Hello all   This question is now running through my mind, when does validation turn into the continuous fight for acceptance?   Well, validation comes when you original start accepting yourself and other acknowledges this by using the correct pronoun's for you, and also accepts you for being yourself.  Or at least that is how I look at it.   The continuous fight for acceptance happens when resistance is felt by you that others can't accept you, and won't without a fight.  Almost when you know yo
Michele800226's Blog

And again

Good day all   I am again in this same situation that I was, but not as bad, just this captain wants everything in writing.  Fine by me, and here is the chance again to make everyone around me squirm.  Yes, I will be the bitch again.   No it is actually a short thing, just to vent that I need to get everything again, just to be myself.   Seeing my doc on Tuesday, so will be asking again for other documentation to just make the world stop and gasp again.   Not venting just saying, as the stupid a
In and Out of Darkness

T for Two

Yesterday I ordered my second month's supply of T. I received an email from the online doc to tell me to order it because she had sent the prescription to the pharmacy. She also said I need to arrange for more blood tests before the end of September, to check my testosterone and estradiol levels. I can't believe I've managed to get through almost a month's worth already. Time has passed so quickly. And, apart from the almost immediate effect on one particular part of my anatomy, and the increase
  • JayM
Finding Myself

Whiney Update

Anyone miss me? Yeah, me either. You havent missed much but I figured I'd post an entry just so people dont think I died or something. Not sure if I'm even relevant anymore but, yeah. So here's an update. No surgery. No responses from insurance, no responses from GLAAD or any of the LGBTQ+ Advocates for NH nor anyone else I wrote to. No one seems to give a flip and that doesnt really surprise me... I'm still dealing with the MPD stuff, all eight of the obnoxious whiners -,_,- My life in a nutshe
In and Out of Darkness

Sparkle

I know I'm lucky to live in Manchester. This city has a big LGBT+ contingent and a lively LGBT+ scene and a city council that supports its LGBT+ people. We even have our first out gay Lord Mayor now. He was at Sparkle last weekend. Sparkle styles itself as the "National Transgender Celebration" here in the UK. http://www.sparkle.org.uk/ It's also a trans* charity. I don't know whether Sparkle weekend really is the biggest trans* get-together in the UK, or whether trans* people really do descend
  • JayM
Michele800226's Blog

Sunday and a time to rest

Hi there all   I know that I am attempting to be online at the very least once a week.   This Sunday I have the sensation that I need to talk about the past week.  Yes, I know I ventured into it.  But the avenues that I haven't entered were a few more than the pooptis I was talking about earlier.  But as a recourse I think I need to vocalize and read what I know and what I can do.   First thing first.  I was told by my overall commander that I must drag him to court, and this time not just deman
Michele800226's Blog

Crucifixion wants to start again...

Hello all   Got a weird question albeit normal question the other day.   I was asked out of the blue by one of the officers at work, "Will you be capable of answering a question when the new station commander asks you about your dress code?  And have you changed it at work?"   The it is, my gender specifics and the dress code for male and female police members are slightly different at work.  Answering this officer, I clearly stated that the workplace were informed and some of my medical certifi
On Being...Me

Gender Identity Exploration

Hi all, Well, since last I wrote I have become unemployed – YAY!  It was by choice, I had been planning on going back to school part-time when my employer offered a reasonably generous “buy out” package, so I took it – this way I can go back to school full-time and finish in 2 years instead of 3 (I’ll be attending NYU in the fall, going for a Masters in Social Work). So for the next 2 months, until Orientation on August 31, I am completely free. What I hadn’t considered was the “identity crisi
Michele800226's Blog

Knowing myself

Hi there   Blessed be to all.   As I start off thinking about myself, I know if I could change anything about myself, it would be: My gender by protecting myself from having to experience gender specific issues the world have, Keep my height and weight Be fit and limber, a perfectionist when it comes to kungfu, tai chi, tae kwan do, and numerous other martial arts formforms Speak language I stil understand and more, German, Dutch, Italian, French, Spanish, Mandarin, Japanese, Korean, Taiwanese,
In and Out of Darkness

Something's definitely happening

Yep, changes are afoot. I did notice something Monday morning that surprised me. But I'm not going to explain anything about that here. Suffice it to say that there was a noticeable difference in something after only two doses and I spotted it as I was getting ready to administer dose three. Today is Tuesday and I've had only four doses of the hormone. I can say with certainty that my appetite has increased. I feel hungry all the time so I'm going to have to watch that carefully. The headache mu
  • JayM
Ace

My Life

Hi this is Ace.  I am looking for FTM or MTF friends in Rochester NY.  Many of my friends have dumped me or moved west (the dumping due to my FTM status.  I need friends in Rochester NY who will understand me and be good friends.  I am alone alot although I am married long story).  Please check me out.  Thanks   Ace
  • Ace
In and Out of Darkness

Small Packages

The title of the blog entry... it's not what you think.   When I arrived home from work Friday there was a small package waiting for me. Upon opening it, I found thirty smaller packages inside. Well, sachets. My first month's hormone prescription, in thirty neat little packets. As today is Sunday, I've used it twice. And now I have a banging headache and I'm wondering whether it's the T, because that was one of the listed side-effects. It's noted among the many side-effects that could assail me.
  • JayM
On Being...Me

New York Pride - and My Pride

Tomorrow is New York Pride! It's expected to be one of the biggest ever as a result of the emotional impact of the Orlando shootings - and there will also be an increased NYPD presence as a result of the shootings. I expect that they'll do a moment of silence for Orlando - they do it each year for those lost to HIV/AIDs, and it's always an incredibly moving experience - you're on the streets of NYC with thousands and thousands of people, and there isn't a single sound (otherwise it's almost impo
In and Out of Darkness

T Time

Well, nearly. I ordered my first month's supply two days ago and received confirmation yesterday that the order had been fulfilled. It's on its way. When I was getting ready for work this morning, after spending entirely too much time watching the news and the discussions about the UK referendum and the decision to leave the EU, I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. That's something I don't often do - not unless I have to - and I realised, with something of a jolt, that I look like my broth
  • JayM
On Being...Me

Bottom Surgery!!!

As I mentioned in my last posting, I had a consultation in Philadelphia on Monday about bottom surgery - it went very well, I liked the surgeon a lot and liked the work that she showed me.  So I'm scheduled for December 27 :-) I had anticipated waiting until spring because of school, but classes finish in the fall on December 23, and there's over a month before spring classes, so this worked out, and financially it's VERY helpful as it lets me get this under my current insurance, and in the same
Michele800226's Blog

Animosity or Acceptance

Hi there all.   How do I start this...   I grew up asking questions and I mean this question has been asked even before I was 4 years old.   The question in question is, "What did you let the doctors do to me as a baby?"   Well the answer back then was, circumcision, and distended testicles.  And another answer was, circumcision (which I never doubted for a second) and intertwined testicles.  Okay the reason I asked as a child was because I felt like I wasn't in the right body, and I could notic
In and Out of Darkness

Untitled

Ireland lost.  It's raining - again.  It's the middle of summer here... "Summer" is a relative term. It means it isn't freezing cold but it doesn't mean we necessarily see the sun. I haven't seen any blue sky for around a week. But I received a reply from the online doc who told me that they "don't have any reservations about proceeding".   It seems I might have passed their assessment process - or at least, I passed that part and I'm moving on to the next part of the process, whatever that is.
  • JayM
In and Out of Darkness

Next Steps?

Hi I'm going to be a good boy today  and I'm not going to complain (much). Feeling fairly upbeat, actually - certainly compared to the last time I visited the site. Since I last wrote, my questionnaire responses were passed to an assessment counsellor, and she emailed me to arrange an appointment to talk. We spoke on the phone a few days ago. The worst part was that she covered ground that had already been covered in the questionnaire, in that she asked similar questions that touched on the same
  • JayM
Karen's thoughts

Current events

Yesterday I am walking up to my work area, a woman stops me and ask if she didn’t mind me asking a personal question. Since I have only seen her (there are over 1,000 employees) and not worked with her I figured it’s one of the following stock questions, where did you purchase your shoes or something along the line of transitioning. My perspective was if it’s about my transition (which nobody has mentioned in over eight months) it’s fine as she seems like a good person. After saying yes to her
Michele800226's Blog

There goes another friend

Hi all   Yesterday Monday 2016-06-13 at between 02:45 and 03:00 another police officer friend of mine was gunned down.  I know that some of you will be telling me to look after myself and be safe outside, but then I can think of this to say, if it is my time to die, no matter what I do and where I go, I will die.  So I prefer to face everything head on so I know, I went out the way I lived and believed in, my way.   Yesterday's guy was on police college with me and at the interim police station
On Being...Me

Bored at work and other updates...

I see I haven't updated since April 28, so I'm behind on a few items :-) My job - where I've worked for 10+ years now - recently announced employee buy-outs b/c they need to cut the budget.  Since I was already planning on going back to school, I took the buy-out and will now go back full-time (to NYU for a Masters in Social Work). Now I'm just here at work riding out my time until probably June 30 - it's SOOOO boring!!! On other fronts - next Monday I have a consult with a bottom surgeon in the
Learning to grow

Opening those cans of worms.

Had a crossroads moment, and finally ventured on to the harder path.  Helping Nikki deal with his issues and history is making me take hard looks at my own.  Some can't be conquered, but they can be mitigated.  Or at the very least, it can be said 'that was NOT okay'.  My parents are divorced, they have been since I was very young, around 4.  I don't think either were very happy in the marriage, but it ended because my father cheated on my mother.  And who outed him?  Me.  Yes, he was so interes

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