Blogs

Ohio offers, but does not give.

A few glorious days of spring, then back to the 30's. Like look what you COULD have Bree, but I'm not going to let you. I'm going to make you be physically cold and stew while you're working through your latest emotional pissed offness. Yesterday we were talking about our sex life in the car, and Nikki told me flat out he had been sexually bored for years, and he loves now that we're doing all sorts of new things. And it didn't percolate right away. I didn't like hearing that, was minorly a

March 20, 2016

Kitten Scratches

Daredevil and sick

Today has just been... blah. I woke up mostly ok, but after Bree and I ended up getting entangled and went out for breakfast, the headache kicked in and I realized that the little fog that had been sitting in the back of my head was congestion and Bree wasn't going to be getting much out of me. So the blah day has been filled with a Daredevil season 2 binge along with some errands. It has been a quiet meh I'm sick kind of day. Bree and I have otherwise been working on things in our relationshi

KittenNikki

March 20, 2016

First professional make over

When to my best friend's today, we went to the mall for coffee and shopping. Didn't get to far, we are walking thru Macy's and she says, I want to get my upper lip done. So while standing there are sale's person asked if I wanted to have her do a make-up session. I thought, what the heck so I said yes. I told her that I am not much for makeup but would consider her doing it but was very interested in my eye area. As she is going through each step I am being told what she is doing and after doing

March 19, 2016

Bree Freakout over something weird.

So Nikki was explaining binaurial tones to me, especially in the therapeutic uses in various diseases such as Parkinsons and so on, and that they are often used for relaxation and sleep aids. He's not really happy with my out there sleeping habits currently, and he's right, I'm needing the pills too often, and my brain is getting stuck in high gear. So I've been trying them for while, following the instructions, trying to relax, just the tones, the tones with a hypnosis induction, I WANTED thi

March 18, 2016

eveannessant's Blog

I aint a Cait fan...........

I watched I am Cait series 2 epsiode 1 last night, it's the first one that I've watched, it was shown on a TV channel called E, which I think is new to the UK. Anyway I had wanted to watch Caitlyn Jenner shows for quite a while but they were not shown in the UK until recently. The episode that I watched was some sort of road trip and seemed to centre around the grand canyon, she had a group of around 10 transgendered friends with her, but I just could not believe her attitude to hearing any poli

eveannessant

March 18, 2016

Passport

About just under two months I applied for my passport, three weeks later I was informed my birth certificate was not good, so I called, asked what needed to be done which was provide another one (which I had) and sent it to them. I never changed my original so it still says M for gender. Today I am now a proud owner of a US passport with F for gender. There was never anything mentioned about my gender change, only a birth certificate not being correct because it did not have my mother and father

March 18, 2016

Spring is helping so much.

Actually going outside is helping my mood swings considerably. I'm off the charts unpredictable with them when I'm stressed out, so Nikki never knows what he's walking into with me conversationally these last two months. Finding out in the middle of cabin fever probably did NOT help my emotional cycles. I can't go out much in the winter, the cold air even with a scarf on sets my lungs off like nothing else, and I literally can't breath. So my time outside in Ohio between November to March is

March 17, 2016

Swingers club round 2

Continuing from my last entry, today I received an email (sent w/o giving out my personal address) from one of the men who was admiring me last weekend. He gave his name but could not figure out between two of them which one it was. So I replied back and found out it was yet another man whom I did not expect to receive an email from. Then I looked at his user name "The Monster" and remembered the owner saying he might be a good fit for me. I was told he can go forever in bed and has a monster (

March 17, 2016

nicky

Day one

Today is day one in the 2nd step of my journey , I have offically started HRT as of 11:39 am eastern time . and this woman could not be happier right now as this is a long awaited step i wanted a waited for so many years , in disbelief i keep check to see that i really do have a transdermal patch on . I am a bit shakey and flushed but with excitement , soon other stuff will follow but for now one day at a time as i drive along this path of fulfillment in becoming the woman i have al

Nickyw

March 17, 2016

Kitten Scratches

Therapy and such

Just working through some things since the therapy session. Long talks with Bree, several attempts at trying to shake some of the doldrums and just in general a lot going on. I have an appointment with our regular doctor next week and I'm going to talk to her about getting something for my depression. I've found it's hard to talk about my feelings when I don't really have the capability to feel anything beyond extreme highs and lows and then just don't really feel anything at all otherwise. I c

KittenNikki

March 16, 2016

Michele800226's Blog

Increasing the specialist range

Hi all Well, yesterday I had an appointment with my GP. Got there for a routine checkup and mentioned that my right boob is tender too, checked for lumps can't feel anything, but she is now recommending because my boobs are so dense I should go to have them checked out with sonograms. But yeah they always start about 10 days before my cramps start and that just seems normal to me. After that she said, welcome to women problems, boobs feeling sore that time of the month and all the bloatedne

Michele800226

March 16, 2016

Antideppressants

So last night I asked Nikki to reconsider his resistance to antidepressants and talk to Bethany(our doctor) about finding the right one. It has been 20 years since I was on one, and my understanding of the modern choices is that the different kinds aren't just different brands, but work differently on different types of issues. I assume Bethany will know more, she's been concerned about his mental state for a while and wanting him to talk over the options with her. She's not a pill pusher, in

March 16, 2016

Finding Myself

Impatiently Waiting

How's it goin' people? I figured I'd update all you guys on what's been going on lately. So I had my appointment with Dr. Feins in Manchester NH for a surgery consultation for my top surgery. I felt like my head was gonna explode with having to wait for it to get here, then that morning I was dreading it the whole 2 hour ride. I did NOT want to take my shirt off and have him take pictures of my chest. Believe me, it was torment to wait and drive closer and closer, yet I didnt dare go home and ch

WarrenG

March 16, 2016

CRANKY.

Doing taxes. Gyah. Just argh. Frustration. Confusion. HEadache. And I'm using the Turbotax site that does most of the work for me but this is still irritation. Nikki's on his own tonight, I'm too cranky to be alive.

March 15, 2016

Why so much conflict in LGBTIA

So the more I read, the more I see a LOT of splintering and unkindness between the different groups under the big group umbrella. It makes me sad. All the groups under this umbrella are small population wise, logic dictates to me that banding together would be the way to go. Rights for everyone, equality for everyone! But instead there seems to be conflict everywhere. Large groups of gay and lesbian hating each other, large groups of both of them hating trans people, a lot of transgender pe

March 14, 2016

Finding Lisa

Keystone Conference 2016

It has been quite awhile since I have updated. A lot has happened over the last two months. Recently I attended the Keystone Conference in Harrisburg, VA which is less than a 2 hour drive for me. I only attended the conference Friday and Saturday, had a wonderful time, a bit tired but learned a lot. My primary reason for attending was to meet with several surgeons and get consultations for FFS. I also wanted to attend the sessions, meet others. Before I arrived to the conference, I did try to ge

LovelyLisa

March 13, 2016

Restructering your whole life at once is hard.

It's like my entire life blew up all at once. I never really realized how MUCH I'm capable of handling all at once, and still managing to be happy and helpful to others. But at the same time, it's really hard when EVERY front in my life is changing dramatically all at once. I keep feeling like I'm stressing out for no reason, and then I sat down and thought about WHY I'm having downward spirals and feel generally uneasy most of the time right now. Nikki wants to think it's all him I think, b

March 13, 2016

In and Out of Darkness

Overwhelmed

That's the only word for it. I think I took on too much and it's worn me down. But at least I've realised now. My dysphoria (oh, how I hate that word - it's so clinical and doesn't adequately describe the situation) has become so much worse since I got myself on the waiting list for the GIC, came out to everyone and changed my name. So I thought that a good way to remedy that would be to find lots of stuff to occupy me. I volunteered extra hours at the local LGBT centre, I took on training for A

JayM

March 13, 2016

Swingers club

Excited, going to a swingers club tonight. Last week I was given the tour and saw that it was just as much about sex as socializing. Tonight my plan is to socialize, get to know people and unless something intense happens will leave it at that. One of the things that I liked right up front is they don't give out their address until they exchange a few emails then invite you in before hours, 6 to 8 where the club officially opens for members at 8PM. For females the cost is twenty dollars per mont

March 13, 2016

Still trucking.

So...stormed outta the house yesterday. Was trying to talk to Nikki about realizing that even when he is the catalyst, he is not actually MY FEELINGS. And that every feeling and confusion I have, even if they are started by something about him, is actually NOT ABOUT HIM, and talking over me as loud as he possibly could that it was made me leave. I went to the park and froze my ass off sitting in a place i used to spend time with Grandpa really missing him. Then I went to work, and Nikki sent