Significant Others

Recently, a hetero cisgender asked me the above question. I remembered questioning my relationship with J. As a hetero cisgender partner to a man who transitioned M2F, his transition caused me to question my own sexual preference. I struggled with societal views and judgments, and wondered how I would be perceived in the relationship if I stayed. I wondered what our sexual relationship would be like on the other side of J's transition. My comment to her question follows based on my own experience. If you are a heterosexual female, and "he" becomes "she" your sex life will change. You may find yourself in a lesbian sexual relationship. Do you wonder, like I did, th…

Realize that Ellen already wrote a book review on the book, The Sky Turned Green & The Grass Turned Blue: Diane's Story by Diana Kelly, about her personal journey as the Significant Other to a M2F Transsexual. Feel very strongly that not only significant others, but also transgender people themselves and therapists should read this book. The most important lesson I took away from this book was that serious personality disorders can afflict transgender people, as they can anyone else. Don't want to revisit the old days when horror/crime movies/books would feature a bad guy dressing up as a woman as part of their fetish. That is not what I am talking abou…

Here I am 58 yr old CD/TV who lives with his aging mother who has dementia and drinking problem and deep financial problems, trying to keep my wits and sanity while trying to dress up and meet others but life throws me a curve and have to attend to the financial matters more often.This makes my drive to dress up, I have to always come down from my upstairs room to either switch the TV mode to DVD or troubleshoot the remote control from the mute button which switches the TV to another mode which is a problem. My sanity is on trial, My brother is no help with him being out of state in Colorado. What am I supposed to do?

I remembered questioning my relationship with J. I am a hetero cisgender female, sharing my story with TG Guide members, and hope that you might find some support in your own situation from my post. Partner to J, a man who transitioned M2F,I found his coming out and then his transition caused me to question my own sexual preference. I struggled with societal views and judgments, and wondered how I would be perceived in the relationship if I stayed. I wondered what our sexual relationship would be like on the other side of J's transition M2F. If you are a heterosexual cisgender male, and "she" becomes "he" (F2M) your sex life will change. You may find yourself in…

Hi everyone, I was pondering this question and wanted to hear some oppinions. I know I may get responses like "only you know your wife" but I just would like to hear some guesses or assumptions based on personal experiences or your own oppinions. This isn't my first time putting myself out there online about this sort of problem...it's my second time but my first experience seemed to be filled with negativity. Also a little warning I may need to talk a little about fetishes to give the full story. I guess some background is important: Ever since sophmore year in high school I started to identify as "wanting to be a girl, and a lesbian unfairly put in a man's body", no…

Generaly a wife club for there opinions I am seriously in need of some type of support group for my partner to help her understand more about as to what G.I.D realy is and what it means,

Hi All; I am new to this page. I am hoping for some advice or just your thoughts on this topic. My husband likes pre-op trans. I have no issues with it (watching porn or being pegged). However, he has now asked to have a threesome. I am not into that, but he wants to find someone and have me watch. I want to support him. I do not want him with anyone else, regardless. I don't think its fair of me to not let him explore this side, but I am not sure how I will feel after. I am sure that he will like it and want to continue, how do I handle this situation. Please help!

www.transwhat.org is a website: "A Guide Towards Allyship" that provides an easily digestible summary of what transgender means, where it comes from, and what it's not (i.e., misconceptions), and some advice/guidance on being a Trans Ally. A friend sent the URL to me; I think it's very nicely done: http://transwhat.org/confused/

Found two great free websites with relationship quizzes that will give you insight into yourself and your partner or future partner. They are www.5lovelanguages.com and www.personalityassessor.com/relationshipwants. Took both of them and they were spot-on! They are brief, fun to take and easy to understand. Enjoy!!

Hello, I'm not really very good at this and am not overly confident in how I'm supposed to start. I'm a 44 year old female who just discovered her husband's gender confusion two weeks ago. He did not tell me, and in fact had actively misled me when I ran into things that made me ask earlier, so it was kind of really confusing for me and traumatic in that he had always insisted on openness and not doing my keeping people out to protect myself, and assured me I had the same. I had the anger phase about why he lied to me about it for so long, especially when I'd approached him in as non-threatening ways as i could, but I let that go as it's not helping anyone. I worked t…

Ok , Now that I have your attention : Lets get down to the nitty , Gritty , and the Dirty of it : Have you used your relationship status as a leverage to maintain control over your SO ? If so Why ? What was the Out come ? What were your true intentions? Why would You expect them to Do such a thing ? What thing did You ask and expect of them? I ask this because in any relationship no matter if it be Hedero , Gay , Bi , or any other type there always seems to be a time when the partner uses tactics to force and issue , idea , or action from them to get their way , have You ever done such a thing or Has Your SO done such a thing , lets talk about it , we all know…

This is a note from me to you, because I was you, and am slowly transitioning into a new life as Nikki is. I chose to make this work for both of us, but that doesn't mean you will. I think the things I learned will help people get their bearings when they are first starting the path of 'my spouse is gender varient, what do I do". I am not a doctor, just a girl who got hit with this in the middle of her life and has to figure things out as she goes. And...a few things I wanted to hear. These are just my experiences, but I feel like maybe I can help someone else by sharing them. - This is going to reorganize your entire understanding of your marriage. This will touch …

Although I do not intend on transitioning from male to female I do present as female most of the time and do consider myself as transgender. My wife goes through these moments where she is grieving the loss of the "man" she married even though I am not dead and have no intention of having my penis removed. Have any of you suffered through this same or similar issue? How did you cope with it? Before anyone asks, yes we are going to couples therapy.

What's It Like Growing Up With A Transgender Dad? Sharon Shattuck Knows Autostraddle "I think the one thing that really sticks with me from my childhood is that I felt very alone--I felt like no one else's family was like mine, so I just sequestered that part of my life and didn't talk about it with my friends or acquaintances." ...

I thought it might be helpful to post some of the types of questions that female partners of TS individuals (M>F or F>M) going through transition may have. I hope it might add to awareness - 1. "Since coming out as TS M>F my husband spends a lot of time on line looking at half-naked photos. He>She did not do this before. What does this mean?" 2. "Have you noticed increased aggressive behavior from your TS spouse since starting hormonal therapy?" 3. "He says he loves me and wants to be with me for the rest of our lives but he has asked me if we can have an open relationship. I want to be with him, but I do not want to have an open relationship and …

When J told me he wanted to become a she, I was at a loss for how to react to what he was telling me. As I believed us both to be heterosexual, it brought up many different thoughts ranging from "Is J gay?" "Who can I talk to for information and guidance in my situation?" to questioning my own sexuality and sexual preference, to "how would we be viewed by society?" and, probably the most uncertain.....the biggest question: "How was this going to effect our personal relationship?" I had so many questions!!! We had a number of challenges....there wasn't just one. But my greatest challenge came in finding information and support, and the journey I took to discover…

I'm probably in the wrong place and I truly don't want to offend anyone here but I am a straight male married to a FTM and looking for some advice/support/insight/peace while I struggle with my relationship. My spouse may be on this forum and I'd prefer to keep him from knowing my growing sense of crisis regarding our marriage. I looked for support groups for spouses of FTMs but they appear to be inactive or rarely used. Kick me out if I'm in the wrong place. Any help would be appreciated. Nice to meet you.

I feel vindicated, because I searched everywhere on the internet looking for a support and/or social cd and spouse freindly (or even just cd friendly by the end of my searching for just him if there was nothing else to be had) within a reasonable distance of us. I looked over every rock, nook and cranny. So when Nikki went to therapy, it came out why I failed, there are none. Doh. HIs therapist said his timing in asking her was interesting because she had been considering starting one because there are not any, and were we interested. Yes we're freakin' interested start the group woman! *I get slightly rabid when I'm frustrated and failed at something* We can't be …