Significant Others

Hello, I'm Anichka. My husband of 26 years is going through the transition from male to female. She is on HRT and has legally changed her name. She wants to have the surgery. She has been out since January of this year, although we have known since January 2014. She told me back then, but I was so devastated that I cried for months so she tried to go back to dressing and acting like a man. I knew it wouldn't work, but I so wanted to believe that it would! So in January 2015 she told me that she just couldn't do it anymore and I told her that she should do whatever it is that she needed to do to be happy. More than anything I want her to be a happy, fulfilled perso…

I remembered questioning my relationship with J. I am a hetero cisgender female, sharing my story with TG Guide members, and hope that you might find some support in your own situation from my post. Partner to J, a man who transitioned M2F,I found his coming out and then his transition caused me to question my own sexual preference. I struggled with societal views and judgments, and wondered how I would be perceived in the relationship if I stayed. I wondered what our sexual relationship would be like on the other side of J's transition M2F. If you are a heterosexual cisgender male, and "she" becomes "he" (F2M) your sex life will change. You may find yourself in…

Hello everyone!! My name is Vanessa Denise Capella, and I am a transsexual women a little more than a year into transition and feminine hormone replacement therapy. I am a dual degree (B.A. and M.A.L.S) student majoring in Liberal Studies, minoring in Women and Gender Studies, and concentrating in Sexuality Studies at Rutgers University (with full intentions and plans on attending Widener University for a MSW in Social Work and PhD in Human Sexuality afterwards). While I am concentrating in sexuality studies, I am more specifically specializing in LGBTQ sexuality, in which the transsexual and transgender sexuality issues are my area of concentration. Presently I am d…

Ok, my in laws have never liked me. That much has been clear through my entire marriage. Mainly it's because I don't come from money. Also I'm disabled. I'm in a wheelchair and will be for the rest of my life. For simplicity I'll call her MIL and him FIL. MIL and FIL are stuck up, entitled jerks. I want to use more explicit terms, but obviously, I can't here at TGG. Especially my mother-in-law. MIL has made comments throughout our relationship, both before the wedding and after. But after is when it got worse. A few years ago the 4 of us were out at Olive Garden. I made a joke with my wife and that was when MIL started threatening me with physical violence. Yet when I sai…

SO after finally sorting through everything with Nikki, I"M BACK with another one. Today my son came out. Square one, nice to see you, it's been a while. At least this time I'm armed with information and can process this more coherently.

I feel vindicated, because I searched everywhere on the internet looking for a support and/or social cd and spouse freindly (or even just cd friendly by the end of my searching for just him if there was nothing else to be had) within a reasonable distance of us. I looked over every rock, nook and cranny. So when Nikki went to therapy, it came out why I failed, there are none. Doh. HIs therapist said his timing in asking her was interesting because she had been considering starting one because there are not any, and were we interested. Yes we're freakin' interested start the group woman! *I get slightly rabid when I'm frustrated and failed at something* We can't be …

We got married in 2008. That’s 12 years ago. She got her stimulus check today. It came under her maiden name. I asked her about it and her excuse was “I guess I forgot to go to Social Security”. If we had been married 6 months then that would be a valid excuse. She has been filing taxes for 12 years. So that means that for 12 years she has known that her name wasn’t changed. Does my name mean so little to her that she doesn’t bother to update anything? I told her that if it means so little that she just needs to go back to her maiden name and quit using mine. This hurts like hell. Where I grew up the last name meant a hell of a lot more than people from other areas would …

www.transwhat.org is a website: "A Guide Towards Allyship" that provides an easily digestible summary of what transgender means, where it comes from, and what it's not (i.e., misconceptions), and some advice/guidance on being a Trans Ally. A friend sent the URL to me; I think it's very nicely done: http://transwhat.org/confused/

I thought it might be helpful to post some of the types of questions that female partners of TS individuals (M>F or F>M) going through transition may have. I hope it might add to awareness - 1. "Since coming out as TS M>F my husband spends a lot of time on line looking at half-naked photos. He>She did not do this before. What does this mean?" 2. "Have you noticed increased aggressive behavior from your TS spouse since starting hormonal therapy?" 3. "He says he loves me and wants to be with me for the rest of our lives but he has asked me if we can have an open relationship. I want to be with him, but I do not want to have an open relationship and …

My wife is a natural female and we were married legally as man and women... I am a Trans MTF we would like to renew our vows on our 10 year anniversary. I'd like to this time be dresses in my own Wedding Dress as in our last wedding i had to dress in a male attire because of conditions not needed now. I was asking what people thought because at this point family and friends are aware of the transgender and mostly accepting. I'm a large girl and just afraid of looking nice a 26w. i have found some nice dresses in that size online but now sure how dress places would allow a MTF coming in to try on dresses? Any advice? Thanks Missy

No one wants to contract HIV. I am somewhat unsure how to post this, but thought it important to share my own experience. I will depend on our moderators to determine its appropriateness. As a heterosexual female in what I believed to be an exclusive committed relationship, I would never have expected that J had been involved in 'risky sexual behavior". However, as I eventually discover, while trying to determine his sexual identity, a few years before meeting me, he had. He did not tell me because he was afraid to out himself. Because of fear, he had not been tested. There is a good chance that when you tell your SO/wife/partner that you want to become fem…

I happened to hear part of this on the local NPR station this afternoon and was fortunate to find it on the web when I returned home. It's from the BBC (I think) and is a married couple, the man who is a crossdresser, his wife finds out, and how they handle it. It's lovely, I think: https://soundcloud.com/thirdcoast/re-sound-182-the-its You can listen to the specific story I'm referring to by clicking on the timeline (the upper portion) until the time readout at the left shows 15:20. It's over at 22:50.

How to be a trans ally: https://medium.com/matter/real-talk-with-trans-people-57b9aa3b91a8 emma

This is a note from me to you, because I was you, and am slowly transitioning into a new life as Nikki is. I chose to make this work for both of us, but that doesn't mean you will. I think the things I learned will help people get their bearings when they are first starting the path of 'my spouse is gender varient, what do I do". I am not a doctor, just a girl who got hit with this in the middle of her life and has to figure things out as she goes. And...a few things I wanted to hear. These are just my experiences, but I feel like maybe I can help someone else by sharing them. - This is going to reorganize your entire understanding of your marriage. This will touch …

Found two great free websites with relationship quizzes that will give you insight into yourself and your partner or future partner. They are www.5lovelanguages.com and www.personalityassessor.com/relationshipwants. Took both of them and they were spot-on! They are brief, fun to take and easy to understand. Enjoy!!

Hi. I'm a bisexual gf to a MtF trans. Our relationship is really new, 2 months, but I really like him/her and hope this becomes a long term relationship. I'm here looking for sport, guidance, advice since I've never been with a transgender person before. Right now, in the town we live in, he is male 100% of the time when in public. In the privacy of his home, he relaxes and let's her true self shine. I'm attracted to him and her. However, I'm having trouble consolidating the two sides. I see him as him and her. Not as one person, but as 2 individuals. I'm afraid to refer to him as her on a regular basis when we're alone because I don't want to get used to it and slip whil…

Realize that Ellen already wrote a book review on the book, The Sky Turned Green & The Grass Turned Blue: Diane's Story by Diana Kelly, about her personal journey as the Significant Other to a M2F Transsexual. Feel very strongly that not only significant others, but also transgender people themselves and therapists should read this book. The most important lesson I took away from this book was that serious personality disorders can afflict transgender people, as they can anyone else. Don't want to revisit the old days when horror/crime movies/books would feature a bad guy dressing up as a woman as part of their fetish. That is not what I am talking abou…

How much of an affect do you think kids of Gf to FTM would take the news when they get older. Should they even know? If all they know is Daddy? Would like your opinions or experiences.