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Now that the great MichFest has seen another year come and gone, it's femi-nazi leader has come forward to make a few demands of her own. Vogel has repeatedly played word games with people as if everyone is so stupid as to not be able to read between her lines, insisting that she/the festival does not bar transwomen from MichFest, it's just that the MichFest is intended only for "womyn born womyn." Now, unless I really am just as stupid as she thinks many of us are, I fail to see the difference between 'this space is for only those born female,' and 'sorry, Charlie, we don't let your kind in.' Yeah, the pun was intended. Vogel has now turned to arguing that transwomen did not grow up under the oppression of a patriarchal and misogynist society as females. What she apparently prefers not to realize is that transwomen are treated the same as cisgender women...and in many (if not all) cases - WORSE. Right here in these forums are posts by women relating their experiences with having lost male priveledge (whether they enjoyed it or not), and became "just another oppressed female," so-to-speak, in this society. So it's not like transwomen are competely ignorant of the experience of being female - doesn't matter if they learned it at 7 or if they learned it at 37. Experience can be gained at any point in one's life. Learning is a lifelong process. You stop learning, you stop living. However, personally, I couldn't give a good flip who the MichFest allows or doesn't allow through their almighty gates. The only heartburn I've ever had with that festival is that, while they wouldn't allow transwomen, they did* allow transmen, though I fail to understand why any transman would have wanted to attend. In my mind, this drove home the point that people like Vogel just don't believe in transpeople. MichFest is just a festival. It's not an employer. It's not a hospital or insurance company. It's not a business that caters to the public. No one needs MichFest for their living, so it's not like anyone will get turned down for employment because s/he is trans, or get fired when it's disclosed or discovered. It's not a hospital where a transperson might or might not get treated, or his/her treatment might not be covered by insurance. It's not a restaurant or store, where a transperson has to worry about whether or not someone will be monitoring which restroom s/he goes in, and then worry if they'll get the mud stomped out of them once in the restroom. Attending that festival is not a right nor a right denied. There are private clubs and organizations everywhere that require certain criteria for one to become a member or in order to participate. Therefore, I don't quite understand why transwomen should want to get into the festival so badly, knowing they are no longer wanted by so many. I think it's a waste of time for the various organization who've jumped on the bandwagon this year, to try to convince Vogel and her bunch to change their attitudes. Don't get me totally wrong however, I think it's funnier than a giggling drunk on a merry-go-round that these entities are taking on the festival's policy (that "policy" that Vogel insists doesn't exist), and causing the public in general to see the bigotry and hatred harboured by Vogel and those who stand by her and her views. Perhaps some women should get together and create a National WOMEN'S Festival... welcoming of ALL women, regardless of cis-/trans status, sexual orientation, political affiliation, religious beliefs, race, colour, national origin, social status, etc., etc., etc. *I recently read a comment below an article or op-ed that MichFest no longer allows transmen in the festival, but I have found nothing yet to corroborate this. Maybe it's another one of those "non-existent policies." Michfest Has a Few Demands Of Its Own

I know this is nothing to laugh about, but I really get a kick out of it. I just hope my luck doesn't ever run out, and some woman (or girl) goes screaming to someone that there's a man in the women's bathroom. Despite the occasional amusement, though, I try to avoid public rest rooms - especially when they are divided by the sexes. The aversion began a few years ago after I retired, when several factors all came into play in a short amount of time. When I was still working, I didn't pay it too much attention. Though I was dressed just like my co-workers (all male), I dismissed the occasional "mis"identification by girls and women in the bathrooms. It would make me inwardly grin that I scared the crap outta some girl thinking she had walked into the wrong bathroom, or startled a woman thinking a man had just walked into the women's room. But I knew that if anyone ever made a fuss...everything could and would be easily settled. But by the time I retired, I had pretty much weaned off everything that came out of the women's department - men's attire was no longer just something I wore for work. I began binding daily - even outside of the house. So by then, even though I wasn't wearing a ballcap everyday, the flat chest and men's clothing was enough for many to dismiss me as male. I also began packing regularly - even outside of the house. But that was for my own comfort. I don't wear my shirts tucked in, so no one sees the package. I'm sure that would definitely get me in trouble. Anyway, today...I had to go to the bathroom. This cold has me blowing my nose every so often, and I don't like blowing my nose sitting at a table in a restaurant. So, reluctantly, I headed to the restroom. When I walked through the door, there was a woman who was just finishing drying her hands. She looked at me and smiled. But then I could see it in her eyes, and that sudden, almost imperceptible tensing of her body. Nearly simultaneously, her eyes darted up to the symbol on the door before I let it go. Was she trying to telepathically tell me, "you're in the wrong bathroom." Or had she been suddenly beset with a fear that it was she who was in the wrong bathroom? I stepped into one of the stalls to blow my nose. While in there, I heard a couple of women come in. One went in a stall, the other was obviously just the tag-along. They were chattering about some kind of eye make-up. I came out of the stall and went to reach for some paper towels. The tag-along smiled and spoke, I spoke, and then said, "excuse me," as she was standing in front of the towel dispenser. The smile disappeared, and in that short space of time, the tag-along's demeanor seemed to change. I tucked the towels under my chin, got a squirt of soap, flicked the faucet on and began to wash my hands. The woman in the stall came out and over to the sink. The tag-along took that opportunity to cross to the other side of the counter and she said something to the other woman. The woman glanced first at the mirror, not at herself, but at me. And then she quickly turned her head to look directly at me, but only for a second. I never looked at her, however, I could tell I seemed to be the subject of whatever was going on, or rather, whatever had been said. I left the bathroom rather pleased with myself for having freaked out three women in the space of five minutes. But the funny thing is...they had no clue that I was perhaps more freaked out than they were, for the simple reason that I had to even be in that room to begin with.

Anyone newly transitioning will nod a big "YUP" to me about this issue, and maybe some of you trans-vets out there too. Public Bathrooms. The lou. The resty. The bowl of salvation, the think tank, the throne. Call it what you will, but the issues remain the same. Where the hell do we go? I'm FTM. I DREAD the bathrooms. I will literally try to be as stealthy as humanly possible to sneak in the door, find a stall, and wait there until people leave before I rush out and wash my hands then run out of the bathroom like my head's on fire. I feel like I'm not supposed to be in there, and this notion is clearly shown by those around me. I'm in that stage where I'm starting to look more male in what I wear and such, plus the help of compression shirts, yet I still look rather feminine in ways I cant control. So just as its confusing for me to figure out which door to run through, I'm sure other people in the bathrooms are equally as puzzled as to if I'm in the wrong bathroom or not. One instance, some time ago, I found myself face to face with a rather rude and angry mom in the womens bathroom, snapping and yelling at me that I should be ashamed of myself for going into a bathroom with little girls present. Clearly she thought me male and werent too pleased I were there. Yet that were the only time that's happened. Otherwise, I have received the timeless glares and silence that will say a million and one things. I only ventured into the men's bathroom once, in the run down building of a Subway Restaurant, and it terrified the hell out of me how filthy it was. True, it could have just been because it werent really the cleanest place on the planet to begin with, but for the sake of my slight Germ fears, I fled the room and went into the women's bathroom instead since no one were around anyway. But I've not found the courage in myself yet to go into the men's bathroom full time. I'm not ready yet. I dont look the part yet. Men are just as cruel as women sometimes, and I fear that where the women are silent and cruel in their stares, the men would be even more taunting about it. But I dont know.... So what does a struggling FTM do? I avoid the womens bathrooms at all costs, because it puts me in an aweful funk after. But I cannot venture the men's bathroom yet either. Do I hold it as long as I can until I get home to use the bathroom? But there's that whole health factor that dictates that my idea isnt really the greatest one. It's puzzling and frustrating. I'm sure you MTFs out there have had the same issues. Whats some of your experiences, good and bad? Let me know Warren

I agree with you completely, Michael. I can't imagine a therapist today suggesting Warren's going through a phase, but if that happens, he needs to get the heck out of there and find a new one. Emma

If you express to a therapist how long you have felt like you belong in the boys camp, and s/he tries to suggest, at your age (and before s/he even gets to know you a little), that it is just a phase, I would say that therapist is a left-over from the old school, and that you need to find another one. No doubt going to a therapist for the first time is scarey. Or at least enough to make one slightly nervous, but I think you are anticipating a nightmare where there is no reason to believe there will be one. You've named every reason in the world to keep that appointment. -Michael

I've had my fair share of nervous smiles, glares, stares, frowns, and gasps of exasperation or indignation. I've endured the indiscernible twitterings of which I am the topic, obvious by the unapproving sideways glances in my direction. I've watched some step back in horror as we meet in the doorway. It's clear in that fleeting moment that they believe one of us is entering or leaving the wrong place. I love those incidents... funnier than hell... I came out of a multi-stall bathroom once (I was the only one in there at the time), only to find a woman waiting outside. She briefly made eye contact then breezed past me and into the bathroom as I cleared the doorway. Interaction between this woman, her companion and the wait staff indicated she was a regular, so she knew the bathroom had several stalls, and the main door did not have a lock on it. So I wondered, why was she waiting for me to come out of the bathroom before she went in? Quite often, the bathroom is the last stop before I walk out my door in hopes that I will not have to pee again before returning home. I look for single-use restrooms. If there are none, I note the times when the bathrooms appear to be less likely crammed with women, and I will go to a stall that is as far back as possible. Or I will go to a bathroom that is somewhat out of the way - the ones that no one wants to walk so far to. When travelling alone... because my STP is "always ready," I usually just find an out of the way place to pull over, and water the grass.

Dear Michael, I, for one, refuse to attend the MichFest. It is another sad example of people who were victimized by the predominant culture, only, to turn around and, instead of helping those behind them, trash them. There are other Lesbian organizations who also exhibit transphobia, and I rejoice that the leading TLGB organizations are calling them on it. Not that long ago, because I was one of the few Lesbians working for a TLGB Hotline (the Lesbian hotline failed due to lack of interest in the Lesbian community), I was the victim of a hate campaign by the local Lesbian community. I followed my mother's advice, may God rest her soul, "be kind and civil to everyone, but choose your friends carefully." I thank the Gaymale and Transgender community for being there for me and being my friend. Yours truly, Monica

OR....Hear me out, We could just have a big anti-Gender binary Music festival.

I have been struggling with the bathroom issue as well. At work, I have no problem using the mens room. I feel safe and comfortable there. But I haven't been able to use a public mens room yet. I make sure I use my bathroom before I head out for dinner or any other activity and I try to monitor what i drink so the urge to pee never gets urgent enough to HAVE to go. My trans buddies say I should do it. Use the mens room. It is so scary though. I know one day I will have to actually go into a public mens room. Just not any day soon.