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One of the members here recently was feeling down (I hope that you feel better today:) and discouraged. One of the things was that men are sending her unwanted friend requests and messages on social sites. This is such an annoyance for transgender women and makes us all to aware how we can be objectified as fetish objects by a certain type of guy who don't really see us as real people, let alone women. Sometimes you just get so fed up with it, and at the wrong time, it can really get to you. They all seem to say and ask the same or similar things which can run the spectrum from ignorant, to insulting, to just so creepy that you feel like you need to take a shower after reading them. I'm thinking why not have some fun at these creep's expense. I'm going to list some of the typical things, usually the opening line from a message that I've gotten. Tell me if it sounds familiar and add some of the ones that you've gotten, ok? Of course, I can't include the more X rated comments that I've gotten. 1. You a tranny? 2. I'm curious and want to "try" a tranny, you want to be my first? 3. Do you Skype? 4. Text me. 555 555 5555. 5. Send me pictures. 6. Send me naked pictures. 7. Do you still have "it?" 8. Is 67 too old? (I'm 19) 9. Give me your number. (like I'm going to give a complete stranger my phone#!) 10. Give me your phone number and I'll send you a picture of my..... 11. What are you wearing? 12. Do you have boobs? 13. How big is your.... 14. Hi, do you like me? 15. I'm on he down low, do you want to be my secret thing? (yeah, I want to be somebody's "thing") There are so many more that are probably worse, and many too creepy to say here on tgguide. These are a few that I've heard over and over. On a dating site that I tried recently, some of the user names tell you right up front what these guys are all about. I also can't write most of those here, but for example, how many girls are looking to meet a guy that calls himself "freakdude69?" It can be so frustrating, I so understand why this gets to other girls. At first i was actually a little flattered that guys were (I thought) interested in me, but I got onto what they were about and really got so sick of it. So girls, are there any particularly weird, clumsy, funny or bizarre things that guys have said to you? At least things that you can say here, but nothing to "graphic." Again, I'm leaving out those that are too creepy, sexually graphic or disgusting....which are most of the comments that girls like us get. La la la:))) KML

One of my Facebook friends is my daughter's best friend who posted that she closed the front door and the security latch got wedged into the door preventing it from opening and asked for help. Since I knew she lived closed by I replied with "I will help if you still need assistance". She gave me her address, five minutes from my home. Went over, I knocked on the front door and she came around from the back door. When she greeted me (she had not seen me in five years) no reactions or comments on my new look as female. Looked at the front door, figured out I needed to pry the door and by thinking ahead of time brought a pry-bar with me. Took two minutes to free the door then a minute to hammer a metal strip back into place. Turned to her and said "done", she thanked me and I left. When I returned home she had sent me a private message You look great by the way! I suppose I figured out what your trip to California was about and wow! Congrats on looking awesome!! I guess she then scrolled through my Facebook notes and on one wrote You are so beautiful. Really. Just so you know. More validation for me. Perhaps this might nudge others down their chosen path of transitioning.

Manifesto of Chara Jo The world sees me a man, I am not! My brains sees me a woman, it is fooled! Truth both visible and invisible, I am both, and I am neither! I am the third gender, I travel apart.

Kristila, I get these comments from men a lot also. Men can be suc h liars . I have gotten about 10 out of the 15 you mentioned . I like the attention sometimes , but men can be over zealous , and sexually fervent. When you think you are starting to like someone then you find out they have been lying to you. I have gotten way better at defining the truth out of admires. I am demi-sexual and just want to make a definite connection with someone.

Dear Friends, Have been accused of being a transgender in an insulting way two years ago on a paid Lesbian dating website (http://www.pinkwink.com). Two years ago, was also on the two big name "free" dating websites, but not a nibble. Gave PinkWink another six month chance recently, but giving it up. However, it is worth a try, when it is only $40.00 a year. Have met on PinkWink a lady who found someone on one of the big name "free" dating websites only ten minutes from where she lived. Notice MANY scammers on the "free" and inexpensive dating websites. Now trying gender conferences to meet that special lady, and if that does not work, going to try "Compatible Companions," put out by the owner of eHarmony, for $240.00 or $250.00 a year (I can't remember which). About people far away making contact: In my case, I exhausted all the women participating from my county, and gradually expanded out. Of course, I am willing to relocate. Have found http://www.TGPersonals.com, which is free, the best of the transgender dating websites, in my opinion. Many of the transwomen there complain of guys trolling there looking for hookups, but I also found many great online friends there among the transwomen! Know that "one is the loneliest number," but being with the wrong person can be a nightmare! Yours truly, Monica

Hi Veronica, I am getting too old to remember these things :-) I believe I was referring to me not telling her I had transitioned. She is my daughter's age, 28 or 29.

Karen, Great story. Still not getting the "forgot" part. Unless it's that you had not seen her since your procedure. I can understand why she appreciates you for you. She probably felt the same way about you when you were a "different" you than you are now? I'm just curious about what age this person is. My kids friends still refer to my wife and I as "mom & dad", even now that they are in they're early 30's. I suppose if they wanted to call us "mom & pseudo-mom" I could live with that! Veronica

I joined a dating site for fun. My profile says I live in Oregon and the first sentence in "about" indicated I am post-op. I am looking for females only. So I get a message from a man in New York wanting to hook up. Come on, really? I am interested in females, live 3000 miles away, do you really think I will travel to NY for this? Heck no.

Dear Eve, In the US, the culture can vary greatly by city, and by neighborhood. Lived in Tampa Bay (Clearwater, St. Petersburg and Tampa), Florida and was amazed they were much more cosmopolitan than Brooklyn, Manhattan and upstate New York! Before visiting the U.S., it is best to do your research, try to develop contacts (to ask them about their personal experiences), etc. Wishing you a happy and safe trip! Yours truly, Monica