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Good luck and let us how your doing? Hugs Veronica n violet

Sweet deal sister, my T was 390 right before i started HRT,, hopeful i have good results next appt ,, hugs

​I'm sorry Monica I'm getting tired, but I know about Aspenger's Syndrome my 17 y.o. had been diagnosed with it and after living all these years I can say with much certainty that I don't have it. Now to tell you where I think my depression is rooted I'm going to quote myself; ​ ​

​Oh wow, Veronica, that's it "Simply, your emotionally closed off." The weird thing about that is that; when I was about 5 I wanted to turn my feelings off because I thought that they were too feminine. Then for whatever reason all the other kids at school shunned and ignored me so I began to collapse emotionally and, I guess that I never learned to interrelate socially. Although there are those very rare times that I meet someone that causes me to come out of my comfort zone for a time. BTW I never had to..." playing pond hockey too long and you have to thaw your skates before you can get them off! OWIE! " ​I'm sorry. but as long as I'm trans she will never allow herself to stay with me, (it's her land, I'd leave). she is hard core disciple, (as she prefers) of Christ and very set in her convictions. Only God would be able to convince her otherwise. T_T. I am never going to be able to turn away from this Dysphoria its too hard T_T T_T T_T​

Hiya Ben. Great Photograph Young Man. It Is Great to hear from You again. Ben, Congratulations Young Man, on All the Good Thing's going on in Your Life. Ben, You Can Be Very Proud of Yourself Young Man. I hope to speak with You soon. Ben, Take Care Young Man, And My Very Best Wishes, Stephanie. xxxx

I"m rather relieved, from the title I was expecting something...darker. I'm glad you're okay!

I am always so amazed to hear how some people can be so deceitful and treat others so poorly. And, I can also well imagine how much you would want that relationship to work out. Most of us need a tender connection, a partner. So we keep allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. I think that is in our human nature. But it can sure be painful. I'm sorry to read your post Monica, but I'm glad to hear from you. Emma

Interesting metaphor. I tend to prefer thinking of myself as a butterfly emerging from her chrysalis, free to fly among the flowers.

I've always liked Behind Blue Eyes. I don't have blue eyes either, but replace "blue" with "brown" and the song just seems like it was written just for me and my situation.

Ren you are a beautiful person you might not see it but others do and you will get through this time.You are a beautiful man and its time to let the light of you into the world. Blessed Be and hugs Violet(veronica's wife)

I know just what you mean my doctor was so cool but he did start me off slow also. It's been just about a year now and im very happy with the progress. but now that i got where i wanted to be with my meds and things really started to speed up. and then i messed up my knee real bad and now i having a knee replacement on june 6th. So i had to stop my HRT till an finished get the new knee. you can't take the chance for blood cloths. At least i know will be back on track in a month or two

Yay! Good for you, Chrissy! I'm very happy for you. Emma

Hi Bree, No problem about deleting my reply! And, like you, I love purple. In fact, I'm going to use it myself here and now. I'm glad that you're not contemplating hurting yourself. Please read carefully what Veronica and Monica wrote. They both have a lot of wisdom. BTW, I was not happy to read that people have said you have an "addictive personality." I think that is nonsense. Sure, you might be addicted to something and need to work on that. But having a "type" of personality like that? I hate labels, I really do. Especially when it's from people who likely don't know what they are talking about or what you are experiencing. If you only knew what's been said about me over the years: "You're too sensitive." Okay, well thanks very much. Now, what am I supposed to do with that? Veronica's correct: it's often a defense mechanism that we use to protect ourselves by closing ourselves off. And that defense is learned in our amygdala way back when we are small children, and triggers a fight or flight response. If you're like me, it's all flight and withdraw, and then, I turn those feelings on myself. Over and over again. Who wouldn't be depressed in such a situation? It's hard to break those patterns, I'm working on it. But that's especially when we need help from our therapist(s) and hopefully, spouses. With respect to being more open with your wife, I was lucky in that my therapist agreed to seeing the two of us. There were certain conditions in that he didn't want to play favorites or have her feel like he was only there for me. It was fantastic as, gradually, I was able to tell her what was and is going on for me in a much safer environment. It is stressful and emotional, but I really could not do it without his help. So that's an idea. Warm hugs, Emma

Dear Freebree, Am concerned about your inability to connect with people. Is this all people, or just some people? If it is all people, I strongly advise you to learn all you can about Asperger's Syndrome, most of whom have difficulty connecting with people. Many of them can not look people in the eye. About your depression . . . is this transgender related or have this been an issue in all areas of your life? There are forms of depression that is caused by situations (ie, poverty, unemployment, loneliness, etc.) and other forms caused by biochemical imbalances. Generally, I give a therapist six months to help me "get to the bottom" of things, and, if I don't see improvement, go on to another therapist. Hope this helps. Yours truly, Monica

The purple is fine to me, and while I can read either font ,this one is clearer. I think with the depression and not being able to see it, that is part of the disease. It's an insidious disease the robs people of their ability to view what is happening to them clearly, which is why it's so hard to fight, or even realize you have something to fight. I have been in it, and Nikki is doing battle with it now, so I've been up close with it both inside and outside, and the view is radically different. I'm learning so much about a lot of mistakes I made just seeing the difference between how Nikki is processing under it's influence vs. how he normally does. It's not easy, and I'll send you all the hugs I can. I"m not really qualified to help with how to balance living with your life and your transgenderism, I'm a partner and looking at that from the outside in, all I can do is wish you the best possible outcome for you and her both, whatever form that is.

​Hi Vi, thanks for the compliment. In regards to my sister/friend, I met her back in 2007 on MySpace, we ended up dating on and off until (I think) 2010 when became friends. I came out to her in September of 2015 and she has been extremely supportive with me. I ended up as her brides maid when she married, told her future husband I needed to be her braid's maid. So we were at a party last summer, picture of us was posted on Facebook and several people said we looked like sisters, hence we are now sisters