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Mental health issues is a tricky road to navigate no matter what the diagnosis is. In my experience, only the people who WANT to be healthy have a snowball's chance to do so, without that internal and honest desire for health it never goes well.

I'm glad you found your way out of the bad relationship. Been there, done that! I'm sure you have grown wiser from the experience. I usually find that there is something to take away from every relationship, no matter how painful. Bipolar disorder is a complex disease. I've seen people try self medication through marijuana or other drugs. I've also seen them quit taking their prescribed medication without medical supervision. Both have always been a disaster. Somehow I've known quite a few people with the disorder. Properly supervised they seem to lead reasonably normal lives but I've never seen alternative treatments work. I may be wrong, but I've never seen it. Wishing you the best as you move forward with your life. Hugs, Lori

It's just so frustrating. I'm not an atheist who needs to convince anyone to join me. I respect everyone's right to whatever belief system they embrace. I mock no one, and accept whatever they tell me as their personal truth about how they view life, the universe, and everything. But at my job I'm constantly made fun of for not being christian, told I'm going to hell and do this for me, it's always there. It's a WORKPLACE, not a freakin' church. I was slipping by quietly for years til she decided to announce it to everyone, because I have zero need to challenge anyone's beliefs or faith, I only challenge them LEGISLATING it. We can all practice our own beliefs and life ethics without forcing them on others. I have been luckier than Lee, no bloody noses, but the constant 'you have to join our beliefs' pressure here does get wearing. I could probably understand it better if I was also more 'live like me' about it, but I figure the whole point of freedom of religion is actually about being free to choose what religion, mix and match, or choose no religion as your life experience moves you. Guess not here. Sometimes I'm just really beaten down by it. Nikki may disagree with you, I snapped at him last night. Ah, marital squabbles.

Dysthimia's longer name is Persistant Depressive Disorder. It's a long term disorder that has both an emotional and a biological component, so both need to be (and are in this case) treated. The biggest dangers are that it makes people vulnerable to bigger depressive episodes and normalizing the disorder and not realizing it IS a disorder and your quality of life has been sucked out and it's not just "how I am". Apparently a lot of people normalize this and don't even realize they have a treatable emotional disorder, luckily Nikki hasn't forgotten what everything used to feel like and realized he has a problem and wants to get better. It's good to hear from someone whose used the mediation without any issues!

Like our friend, Michael (Usernameoptional) advised: keep pounding it out on your keyboard. I think what you write makes a lot of sense. Good on you to know what you're feeling so you can write about it. Keep it up. Emma

Dear Emma and Veronica, It is difficult sorting out what is a person's character vs. alcohol/drug addiction and severe mental illness. As for being a "better angel," (lest I be flattering myself - LOL!), I feel that as I strive to grow spiritually, the more lonely it gets. Of course, my relationship with the Higher Power comes first. Can't compromise on that, and when I do, it's a disaster! Think I should be looking for a religious order rather than a relationship! LOL! Thank you both for being wonderful friends! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Leo, I think you're awesome. I love your photo and am happy to have you as part of our community. Hugs, Emma

No no it's fine, my head just goes creepy places. The Transgender Day of Rememberance was a sobering reminder that for many transpersons it's like I was back then, and it ties together in my head. We Bree's have to look out for each other, right?

Briannah: I used the title as an attention grabber just to pull in readers.A tactic that is used in the media trade, (I've read a couple of books). I never meant for it to scare any one. I know that I am listed as Female and that is because that is what I truly identify as and as a whole consider myself to be. However I haven't begun to transition yet. No, not even H.H.T., and I am quiet the stout girl at 6'3", 300+ lb and (at the moment) still looking like a man, I don't think that anyone is going to mess with me even when I come out to the world as the real me unveiled. BTW my avatar is a representative of what I intend on transitioning into as I also love the goth style and always have although I always dress as the all american country boy. Please forgive me of any deception, to you or anyone whom might be reading this or any of my other Blogs. Thanks xxxx Bree

​Thanks for your concern Briannah. Yes I am quiet ok in the sense of the word that you mean. We all have problems in this life, but being beat up isn't one of mine. ​Yeah, one of the reasons everyone here calls me Briannah is that Nikki made it quite clear horrible things happen and he doesn't want to be 'out' at this point because of that, so I got scared for you. I remember what it feels like to live with a monster in the house and not being able to defend myself, and no one should ever live like that.

​That is right Veronicabeta. and it's hard to convince others of what we know in our hearts to be true. especially here in the "Bible belt" Where nearly everyone throws bible verses at you and even then they misunderstand the actual context and take it to literal. Uhhh I guess that bible verses is better than rocks or maybe even bibles,.No I don't think that I'm a Pinata I really kinda just happened onto that reference and felt that it made an interesting metaphor and wanted to share.

​Thanks for your concern Briannah. Yes I am quiet ok in the sense of the word that you mean. We all have problems in this life, but being beat up isn't one of mine.

Hiya Ben. Great Photograph Young Man. It Is Great to hear from You again. Ben, Congratulations Young Man, on All the Good Thing's going on in Your Life. Ben, You Can Be Very Proud of Yourself Young Man. I hope to speak with You soon. Ben, Take Care Young Man, And My Very Best Wishes, Stephanie. xxxx

Good luck and let us how your doing? Hugs Veronica n violet

I"m rather relieved, from the title I was expecting something...darker. I'm glad you're okay!

Interesting metaphor. I tend to prefer thinking of myself as a butterfly emerging from her chrysalis, free to fly among the flowers.

I've always liked Behind Blue Eyes. I don't have blue eyes either, but replace "blue" with "brown" and the song just seems like it was written just for me and my situation.

Sweet deal sister, my T was 390 right before i started HRT,, hopeful i have good results next appt ,, hugs

Ren you are a beautiful person you might not see it but others do and you will get through this time.You are a beautiful man and its time to let the light of you into the world. Blessed Be and hugs Violet(veronica's wife)

I know just what you mean my doctor was so cool but he did start me off slow also. It's been just about a year now and im very happy with the progress. but now that i got where i wanted to be with my meds and things really started to speed up. and then i messed up my knee real bad and now i having a knee replacement on june 6th. So i had to stop my HRT till an finished get the new knee. you can't take the chance for blood cloths. At least i know will be back on track in a month or two