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Mine delivered a similar ultimatum. Right about the time she insisted that I move to the guest bedroom. Both of us were reeling with emotions. We continued to try to work things out with therapists, all that. About a year (or was it more?) I had done lots of research, reflection, etc., and had to tell her that I was indeed transgender. But I didn't know what that meant for me. I was clinging to a belief that if I could just dress from time to time in the privacy of our house — to relieve the gender dysphoria pressure — that I and we would be okay. To her credit she said no, we needed to get divorced so I could be free to discover and be my authentic self. We divorced just under two years ago, and I moved out permanently in April 2017. I settled in Seattle in August 2017. I was surprised that, over time, I just kept needing more. I'm now legally Emma, on HRT, just had GCS and BA, and in April will have FFS. Thankfully we are both very close with each other. We talk about every other week for an hour or more. Last night she really helped me when I was very down. We both love each other, that's for sure. We miss each other too. But I think my transition is just way too much for her. But we'll see. She plans on visiting later this year which will be very interesting. I keep encouraging her to move to Seattle. I love it up here.

Very well said, Christy. We all send best wishes.

Well my wife actually delivered an ultimatum, if I transition, she will divorce me. Part of me wants to just get it over with, but I totally don't want to hurt my daughter. I don't know if spending time with friends every so often as my true self will be enough. She knows that I cross dress when i am with them and showed serious displeasure when I try told her. I wish I could have gotten an initial appointment with a therapist before April 3. I really need professional help. Thanks, Tilly

Tilly, it is hard to admit that two people can change. You are literally becoming a new person and while the things that make you special are all still there, every time you make a choice about whether to take another step your partner also has to make the choice to take that step with you as well. I do understand the worry about hurting your daughter, Ultimately though that will be between you and her - my greatest fear is losing contact with my children if I press onwards - but I also know that they would probably adjust soon enough over time, it would just be weird for them at the moment. x

I did not know that Monica, here we have rental services for weddings that do things like kilts and dresses but I never knew there were services for everyday wear too. That could be handy for learning what works for me fashion-wise - though I have no doubts my sisters will be honest if they do not like what I am wearing when it comes to that!

having had this happen with my ex i understand completely,and my ex being the first and only person i have ever loved, it was very trying at that time i had hoped we could stay together and we had two almost grown children it hurt very much,but i had to continue my journey alone because i would have died if i had not gotten to the srs i knew that in my heart from an early age.

Dear DeeDee, There are companies that RENT ladies clothing online. Try Googling "online companies that rent ladies clothing," and several should come up. Yours truly, Monica

Dee, the nails look 1000% better after 10 days. Don't have a clue if it's the Sally Hanson stuff, or just me taking care of them, but either way I'll take it😍 You're going to love the hair removal. Had one laser so far and it worked great for removing the dark hairs. Bites a little around the lip and nose area, but bearable. For a couple of days afterward felt like I had a mild sunburn and small clumps continued to come loose from my pores. Also my skin broke out some for a week, but not real seriously. I washed often with a defoliating cleanser and moisturized often Neutrogena oil free moisture (SPF 15). Be sure you use one with sunscreen, you're supposed to stay out of the sun. The black shadow has all but been eliminated, now, my skin as back to being smooth, and I'm going back next week for my second treatment. I have a total of 6 treatments spaced a month apart. The light hairs will still grow quickly and I've had about 8 hours of electrolysis for that so far. A little tedious, but really seeing and feeling the results now. I don't mind because I love my electrologist and we both look forward to seeing each other! I learned a lot from Christy and Emma before and it sure is enjoyable for me to now relate my experience to someone else. Good Luck!🙋‍♀️

Thanks ladies, I was hoping that I could keep the woman I love. I needed a reality check, and can always count on ya'll to provide. Again, thanks, Tilly.

hahaha, love it. Jess I have to say that my nails are bottom of the list, they tend to grow well and quite fast but strengthening them would be a good idea too so let us know if the Sally Hansen stuff works, but I have actually booked a consultation for hair removal next Saturday - they will talk me through my options and the cost - they have a YAG laser? I'll have the kids so I hope my sisters are floating about for babysitting duties - otherwise if they have to come with me that could be an interesting discussion! I think a Zen garden might be a good idea too Christy - I'd love something like that but need to put the effort in first!

Great to hear you both (all three of us) had an enjoyable night😎 My nails are my current side project. I found that the fake ones beat the heck out of my real nails, the glue, taking them off, drying them out, etc., and decided I didn't really like the look that much anyway, and took too much time, so about a week ago I started my own nail rehab! Instant cuticle remover, to rehab my cuticles, Nail Rehab X which coats my nails to strengthen and nourish them, and Maximum Growth, a clear coating which hardens them to prevent them from breaking. All made by "Sally Hansen". I can already see the difference and some growth and last night was able to trim, file, buff, and recoated them. I do them every day and I keep it on 24/7, 🙋‍♀️ Hey, maybe Monday, a professional manicure? Maybe Sephora visit, too? This new girl's just gonna have fun! Jess

Hi Dee; the same for me last night, "not passable, just comfortable☺️ 10:30 am electrologist session this morning, so tons of stubble always puts a damper on being passable! There is a lot to say about "being comfortable!" Always the first thing I do when I'm home from work. Cold weather here necessitates an overcoat when out, so I always go out in my girl undergarments and forms under my boy clothes when in boy mode. Then when home I shed the boy clothes and don my wig, a comfortable top and bottom, my favorite pair of flats and I'm good to go🙋‍♀️., till I get called in again. (only working part-time on call weekdays). Usually a quick touch of eyeliner and mascara, too. For easy removal, try olive oil with cotton balls and q -tips. It's quick and thorough. Well, after my appointment today, back to Jess, out , comfortable AND passable through Monday! Yeah💇‍♀️😍 Have to grocery shop, want to walk the mall again, Macy's, Boscov's, (not to buy, although very hard for us girls not to lol) probably a lunch or dinner and maybe make another friend or two? )☺️

Aw Christy Thank you so much. 😙 Being passable was not the aim last night, being free was, which is why I hadn't bothered with foundation - I was just practising, though if I can one day get to a point where I could pass without all the makeup I would be delighted! but I will definitely take the compliment! 😊😊😊 Loved your PI story - I've always enjoyed mystery novels and thrillers, did you ever find the pencil thief? I had a very relaxed evening and even managed to get back to sleep after waking up early today so I am still in my girly pj's only just sat with my morning coffee and genuinely beaming. I had to give myself a mental note to remove the nail varnish before I go out though (and some eyeliner I seemed to have missed last night that stuff is tough to get on well and tougher to take off properly it is so close to the lashes) - blue is not a subtle or manly colour for nails! I know that Amazon UK has recently started a wardrobe type service like that and my ex used to use a catalogue that did something similar - try before you buy, if you know your measurements then go for it. I am fortunate that other than my shoulders a lot of my features are smaller and more feminine anyway - my hands and feet are small for a mans and my jaw is not different from my sisters. I always suited feminine jewellery more than the chunkier male jewellery which was why I just didn't wear any. Anyway thank you girls for making me smile.