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Dear DeeDee and Emma, Just as an adolescent gradually transitions into a woman, the MTF also gradually transitions into a woman. Both of you girls are doing a great job! Your friend, Monica

Just had a really bizarre moment. I agreed to sign up to an endurance race with my nephews and sister next March - it is a 10 mile race, at night - up and down the Scottish hills - quite mad and quite fun. As a part of the entry I had to fill in the usual ID form and for the first time in my life I genuinely hesitated at the male or female question. I have been happily filling in forms for most of my life without any qualms whatsoever. It actually made me tear up a little bit that I had to use my male name, a wave of sadness washed over me knowing I will now get a male tee-shirt and have to turn up with my male photographic ID. I will most likely still be presenting male next March so why does this seem like such a big deal? On the up side I only have one more laser session to go - my electrologist has targeted as many dark hairs as she can find and now wants me to get a numbing cream - at our next appointment she will explode the last of the dark hairs then put the cream on my face, wait an hr and make a start on the electrolysis for all those white and ginger hairs left. I am going to have to take a book to read while I wait!

Thank you Emma, it is odd as I doubt that for anyone else it would make a difference but for safety you need to use your real name and bring photographic ID to the event. There is no question of which tee you want afterwards they just hand them out. In my head I was perhaps pining for another missed opportunity to be seen as Dee, however unlikely it was that I would choose to, tanks for sharing your experience. 🤗 I have a long way to go yet on hair removal - but switching to electrolysis is a marker that has arrived faster than I anticipated. It must feel weird shaving on skin you cannot feel! but if FFS was important to you then nothing stops you going back once you have recovered. My electrologist asked me if I had thought about hair transplants yesterday and I honestly had not considered it - she obviously has a low opinion of the wigs available through the NHS!

Yeah, I know what you mean. I signed up for a bicycle ride/benefit for cancer research for the summer of 2017 with my male name but ordered a women's jersey. Not that it was that much different. And even when I picked it up at the event I was shy about it. But it felt good, as if even in that small way I was being authentic whether anyone recognized it or not. No one did but... I knew. Good on you for having your facial hair almost done being removed. I've had to stall my removal as my face is recovering from FFS. I have to shave every other day which sucks, especially because my face is so numb and odd feeling. It's creepy to shave on numb skin. Small price to pay I suppose but hey, it's still uncomfortable!