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Thanks Christa, I don't think I will ever stop wearing jeans and tees, but of course I like skirts and dresses at the moment so it will be my niece keeping me right fashion-wise, if I am brave enough once the kids have been dropped off I will get changed so I can arrive as Dee - even without wig or makeup it would make a big difference to me mentally. I still have to frequently correct myself when I talk about my ex and our divorce should be at the final stages now, it is easier online because I can go back and type it out right, but mentally I am finding it easier and easier to see the separation as the right thing. She is happier with her new man than I have seen her in a long time though and on top of that I am fairly certain that a pair of my younger married friends will be trying to pair me off with one of their single female friends this weekend at a birthday party. I do not see myself as a catch at all, for anybody, and especially while I am investigating how I want to be and how I want the world to see me - male with a feminine side or a female who used to be male. I need to to be sure of before I do anything permanent with friends/work and my own body - apart from hair removal - I am already 10 times happier not having to shave every day. But it is sweet of them to try and pair me off, they will be a couple that I lose if I do come out as we have very different outlooks.Two weekends out in a row though so it's not all bad , then a rest as I start electrolysis and then my big weekend away! Jess - I am functioning a lot better in my life since accepting that I am trans and that my feelings go a lot deeper than simply enjoying wearing tights, but I do find the whole idea of becoming female hard to grasp, not just that it requires a mental shift, but a physical one too and there is only so much science can do. How do I know what is relearning behaviours, what is pretending? and what is just new masking? voices/walking/wigs - they are all sticking points with me even though others seem to have no issues accepting them. Everything online says that it is a long, hard slog to change your gender to the point of legally and physically being at the opposite end of the spectrum to where you start out. Emma - I was brave today and bought a nice cream top, a light, pink rain jacket and a pair of pastel blue pumps as I was also buying clothes for the fancy dress party I am attending in a charity shop close to home (it is a carribean themed murder mystery party and I am playing an ex-womaniser lol) I am a bit worried about dancing because I sweat profusely as a male when I dance, and it is rare to see a woman absolutely wringing with sweat when it isn't the height of summer. When I go away I will try and update my blog if I find myself in the situation of being sat up and alone whether last thing at night or early in the morning, but I do hope to be out or in company most of the time. In my mind after the first couple of nervous fashion "is this ok?" changes.. once we leave the flat I hope to just relax and enjoy the moment. 💖 💃🎶 If I cannot enjoy myself or feel like I am at a fancy dress party the whole time - then I know that transitioning may not be right for me and need to re-think a few of my current conclusions. Thanks everyone for the encouragement though, I remember when this was months away and now it's only a couple of weeks!!! 😳😳😳