Lori

Thank you for sharing on your blog. Well, your life is certainly not a waste. As you know, many of us share some similar experiences.

I remember wearing a girls blouse to school. I must have been in first grade. I didn't even know it was a girls blouse, but the kids at school did. While I didn't get beat up, I was ridiculed and learned a quick lesson about the risk of nonconformity.

Thank you for your expert handling of the topic of religion in our forum. I imagine you may have known that many of our members would be distrustful of anyone talking "religion" in a transgender forum.

We have been persecuted and marginalized by many of the self-righteous religious folks. Yet, there is a group of believers who don't rush to judgment -- who support us. Their voices often can't be heard over the ruckus created by the zealots. But, there are religious people who support LGBT rights and who don't rush to judgment.

I believe we need to be careful not to characterize all religious believers as zealots. Many of them are kind, decent people. When we hear someone talking about their religious beliefs, and instantly lash out at them, I think we run the risk of losing an ally in our attempts to be accepted into the mainstream of society.

Although I'm not religious, I have many friends who are. I respect them and their right to believe as they wish. Some of them are among my very best friends. They have supported me and I love them.

Excellent post Deneela, and interesting replies as well. Seems you'd fit in well at a Unitarian Universalist Congregation. I attended for some time and rather enjoyed the fact that they were just fine with me being agnostic but open to spiritual enlightenment. I'm not sure I ever found enlightenment but I'm comfortable being agnostic. Like you, I prefer to forego the religious dogma and just live a good life trying to be a positive influence on the world.

Best of luck with the job search. You have a good attitude. Hang in there girl. :)

I'm so sorry to hear that. I know the feeling -- has happened to me a number of times. I've learned to copy my text periodically as I type, if it's to be anything of any length. We'll look forward to your next post.

Just wanted to let you know I thoroughly enjoy your blog entries even though I'm not particularly religious. Thank you Del, for your work to encourage understanding and acceptance from both ends.

Hugs,

Lori

So happy for you! I have a female partner also. She's a hottie! We've been together 2 years and we're a great fit for each other. I've actually known several trans-lesbian couples.

My family took a long time to come around and I still notice they often just omit any gender pronouns when referring to me. Makes me wonder what they call me when I'm not around. I transitioned a long, long time ago so they should be used to me. Still, I think they do love me, and accept me as much as they are capable. It has surely been a long road but I guess I'm lucky. Sometimes I just have to keep a thick skin. Good luck with the family and loved ones.

Hugs,

Lori

I think you should be able to pass as long as you stay age appropriate. Your physique looks very good and that is quite helpful, though it isn't absolutely necessary for passing. I think the most important part of passing is just believing that you can and going out with confidence. And if ever you don't pass (perhaps someone makes a remark or you can tell by their body language) ask yourself what they read so you can improve upon it. Getting out with supportive friends in a tolerant environment (such as a LGBT nightclub) can help you polish your presentation. I'd like to hear others' comments.

Caroline Cossey "Tula" was an inspiration to me also. Best of luck. Please let us know how everything goes for you. :)

Wow Dana, thank you for sharing this insightful struggle. Being transgender is a tough road and we all have to find our way through the complications, especially relating to family. I found that having a strong support network including my therapist, mother, friends and a local TG support group helped me work through the maze. Online resources weren't even available at that time. It was one step at a time and sometimes the going got tough, but it worked out pretty well in the end. My best wishes for you. I hope you have the support you need.

Shalom! It's a pleasure to have you here. Do you know of the web site www.glbtjews.org -- a listing of glbt resources for the Jewish community, including a listing of glbt friendly synagogues.

Hugs,

Lori

Glad to hear things are going well for you. Nice to have you back :)

Very interesting. You know, sometimes I do miss the ability to be male and do male things with the guys. Of course, I wouldn't want to go back to being male. I love riding my Harley, playing poker, participating in sports and some other predominantly male activities. I've found a way to enjoy just about everything I want to do though. I just find it interesting that I'm viewed so differently being a woman participating in male dominated activities.

My experience may be a little different since I am pretty much in stealth mode. I find that I blend very well with the lesbian scene. Gay guys don't want much to do with me although I do have gay friends. And fortunately I'm able to blend into the mainstream fairly easily.

Interesting blog post Crysti. Thanks for sharing it.

I remember early in transition having to relearn the nonverbal communication that goes on between women and men, based on your gender presentation. At first I considered the possibility that I was being read by women but then I discovered that women often look at each other either admiringly or sometimes with a touch of jealousy or contempt.

It was also interesting how men and women exchange those quick little glances to check each other out. I learned very quickly not to make eye contact or look too long at another woman's man.

If we pay attention, there is a lot to be learned from the nonverbal communication that goes on between men and women in our society. Much of it is based on gender roles and the social norms on how to relate to each other.

I did my best to learn from the nonverbal communication and figure out how I could best fit in.

Mine are pierced three times in each ear. I recall the third one (furthest up the ear) hurt like hell! I'm just not into pain I guess so that was the end of the ear piercing for me. I used to wear three earrings in each ear but that third set of piercings has closed up now. I think you'll like having your ears pierced. :)

Stressful as life could be during transition, I always felt ok as long as I was doing something to move forward. It didn't matter if it was a small or a big step, as long as I was doing something. Each step offered up new challenges and new rewards. Sounds like you're on the right track. Hang in there Rachel. :)

Happy Holidays Stephani - wishing the best for you, and for us all.

Hi Steph, I hope everything is working out and that you're hanging in there. Good luck with your plans to return to school. That sounds exciting!

Hugs,

Lori

I can relate so deeply to so much of what you say. It seems to me it was a different time when we were growing up. It wasn't so easy to find resources or support. In my case, conservative adults in my life would have likely made my life intolerable if I had come out. I was so confused I didn't know what I was anyway.

So much of life, I believe, is about self-acceptance and being able to enjoy the things you do have, and those things in turn create the hope that carries you into tomorrow. I'm glad you have someone to share love, and hope.