Good morning, Vanessadenise - Thank you for your blog entry. Questions, questions. My het mind was flooded with questions when J told me he wanted to be a female. With no previous clue at all that this was an interest of his, I was in complete shock. I felt betrayed. I had been with him for six years. We had a close companionship, a very good sex life, and so much in common...My first question was "What?"
Then came the "what does this mean?" "Are you gay" (answer no, but at that moment, I couldn't comprehend it any other way), and ultimately, "What does this mean to our relationship?" Unfortuantely, I had very limited resources available to answer my questions. I set out on my own journey to discover what it was all about, because I really am someone who needs to understand.
My journey took me in different/unusual directions for a het female, I think. I loved this pesron. But I realized I didn't know him. Not really. So getting to known him again was a focus for me in the relationship. To find out if we could expand our relationship ..and for me to encompass the new circumstances of it...was for me to discover. What I did, I am writing about. Have a blog at jackanddianestories.blogspot.
He, however, had his own journey ahead of him. He was too involved in his to pay much attention to mine.
I truly believe that communication, understanding and education is key. But both have to engage in the conversation. Deeply caring about someone (both parties need to have this for each other) can help it work. I am a believer in that.
There will be pain in the process most likely for both...but each eventually needs to be true to themselves.
Stephani made good points! I can understand the questions....I had some of them myself. Watching J transition for me was often an awkward situation, as I was trying to be supportive, and handle my own feelings too, watching him morph, and getting a lot of flack from people who knew us as to their own discomfort. Supportive friends and family would have helped a lot, but then...that was a lot to expect at that time. So again, I took my own journey of discovery in J's process of transition. I feel that all in all it made me a better person, just in lieu of understanding and awareness of the LGBT community that I did not have before this happened. But in other ways, too, which I will write about.
Thank you for your willingness to listen and answer questions!
hugs,
Greenshade