Briannah

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About Briannah

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 02/04/1972

Profile Information

  • Gender Female
  • Location Ohio
  • Interests Nikki, time with the offspring, Anime, Gaming, Turtles, Cruising, Ghost Stories/Books/Movies, Origami, Camping, swimming, snorkeling, beaches, pets, Halloween!, Photography thought I'm not overly skilled at it.

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Briannah's Activity

  1. Briannah added a comment on a blog entry: Living on hope of vacation.   

    Yeah.  And the dog really is beautiful, and with proper handling would be able to live a happy dog life instead of being in danger.  But there isn't anything I can do, Dad didn't hear a word I said when we were talking, he's not going to hear it now.  I hope Dad's increasing jerk behavior reduces the amount of social visits to his home and thus protects the dog that way.  Dog deserves better. 
    Looks around.  I adulated.  I finished packing yesterday, two days early.  Usually I'm up all night trying to pack until an hour before time to go. LOL
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  2. Briannah added a comment on a blog entry: New Neighbor story. Short, but this is my weird life.   

    Thank you, it was last April that she went, but we only found out about the issue behind the filing cabinet and the bookshelve when we just moved them as part of the prepping to sell.  She was a great cat though.    And ​normally didn't pee all over the place, I swear.  She did live a long life of 14 years though.  Her brother is still going strong, and trying to kick Nikki out.  Hes' a bit of a terrirorial cat about me. 
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  3. Briannah added a blog entry in Learning to grow   

    New Neighbor story. Short, but this is my weird life.
    So.  The neighbors.  Again.  Yes.  One of the many reasons I'm not sad that Nikki pushed the moving idea. 
    I have a trick for large item trash to avoid paying fees.  I put the times out the day AFTER trash pick up, so they have roughly a week until the next one.  And only once has it failed me and the item did not 'just wander off on it's own!".  So we found out that Yuriko had been peeing behind the filing cabinet I had for years to organize.  She died of brain cancer, but no one knew she had it until the day we had to put her to sleep, but in the last six months or so of her life she had developed some strange behaviors as the cancer was changing her little brain.  My poor kitty.  But anyway, she had taken to peeing behind the metal filing cabinet, and apparently on this ancient pressboard bookshelf I've had since I was 16.  That is 1988 for those who really wanna know the age of this thing, and no, I have ZERO idea how it lasted that long, it's the kind where they sorta glued sawdust together and called it wood but this thing really didn't wanna die.  So pretty much unsalvageable, so I put both out on a Friday afternoon and resolved not to think about it unless they were still there by Wednesday, in which case I would call the trash company and arrange for the Thursday pickup to take them.
    Saturday morning I am started out of my bed, at FIVE IN THE MORNING.  By the sound of grown men arguing LOUDLY just under our bedroom window.  I am exceedingly confused why it seems two random strangers chose to have some sort of what sounded like a deeply emotional conflict on my yard at that hour, so I hauled myself out of bed and reached for the curtain, and pulled it aside just a wee bit to see.  And yup, it's the neighbor son, fighting with some random dude who was loading the filing cabinet into his pickup.  Which I suspected would go easily, it's metal and metal salvage is big here among the poor now . But the neighbor is yelling at him his mom saw it first and it was theirs.  Dude was finally like then you should have taken it, finished loading, and left.  Yes, there were two people who argued for nearly a half hour over my TRASH.  We have reached the point where people are actually fighting over peed on, trashed furniture that really isn't usable anymore. 

    So I figure that's the end of it, the bookshelf will sit, and I'll have to pay a coupla bucks to get rid of it.  Or Nikki can take the hatchet to it and we can burn it in the fire pit out back.  Whatever.  I got back to sleep, and we get up a few hours later and go out to run a few errands.  As I'm standing by the car, something is bugging me for a minute, and I can't figure out what... and then I realize, yup.  The creepy neighbors actually took the ancient bookshelf that had finally begun to disintegrate and was so soaked in cat urine that no amount of the enzyme cleaner I tried to use to salvage it made a difference into their house.  Where they have cats, who are going to take that as a challenge and pee all over my cats pee. 
    Some days the crazy just won't let me not look at it and contemplate how we got to this point on this street.  Here's hoping future battles over my trash occur at reasonable hours at least.  Do you think it would be taken amiss if I put out a sign that reads "All battles over our trash must occur in this corner of the yard, and only between the hours of 1pm and 6pm".  LOL
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  4. Briannah added a blog entry in Learning to grow   

    Living on hope of vacation.
    So Nikki's back has been out for a while now, so I dragged him strait to the doctor Friday, based on the pain response from limb manipulation test, they think at this point it's an inflammation problem rather than an injury from all the physical labor we've been doing.  (I'm sore as anything too, but I still have full flexibility and only sore-pain not crazy pain like after the surgery I had or what he's feeling so I'm sure I'm just tired) and they gave us anti-inflammatory pills that are helping.  And new doctor reassured me a bit that maybe this relationship will work out because she addressed on her own that the pills and his antidepressents are contraindicated for each other, but he's not going to be on the new stuff long enough to run into trouble so not to worry without us having to ask or see the warnings.  These days a doctor who is paying attention to what medications you are taking and how they mix is great, so many have stopped. 
    We start driving Friday, and board the ship Sunday.  I'm so tired, stressed out, trying to figure out how to proceed forward in the best way, I need this vacation.  I had a weird breakdown over trying to pack.  Simply the act of deciding what clothing to take was the last raindrop that burst the dam, but there is so much going on right now internally and externally that I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  Like I told my friend recently, you feel what you feel, it doesn't go away even if you don't act on it, and you do have to deal with those feelings. So taking my own advice and trying to sort through it all.  A reminder that no matter how good you have it there are things that harm you.  I know I have a good life, I do, but still, there are ugly things trying to claw my eyes out.  And when people say "I wish my life was as simple as yours!" it's a trap you can start to fall into and forget that your life isn't really so simple.  I just keep a lot of internally irl, I don't talk about things nearly as much as I do here, and aside from coming to learn about transgender, I have also come to learn a great deal about the safe space concept and it's real world emotional applications here.  Good lesson.  So I try to make my home and interactions with others safe space. 
    So getting to know my paternal aunt a bit better, we've been talking on Facebook a lot, and at first she was trying to fix things between me and my dad, but as time goes on she's coming to understand what happened and that it can't be.  She just got back from a visit with him, and his 70-something pound german shepard just bit her, and instead of controlling the dog or correcting it, Dad just stood there laughing about it.  And when she was rightfully upset, he did the whole "Roscoe wants you to know he's a scared little being in a world he doesn't understand, and he can't help his feelings".  Really?  No one is challenging the dog, and as usual, Mr You have to take responsibility refused to take any for his responsibility to properly control and handle his pooch.  It's a beautiful dog, and I don't really want to see that poor thing put down because my dad is stupid about his dogs.  And then it became 'you're obviously an unhappy person, and we'll pray for you!" when she refused to just brush it off and left.  Which is really sad, because my Dad made so much fun of my poor grandma for saying things like that.   I didn't really want to be involved in that conversation, but she was worried I needed to know about the dog and the issue. I already knew, same thing happened when I was younger, to both her and me.  She'd forgotten about that, and it was her aha moment, that she really didn't understand the dynamic between dad and me was a lifetime of things, and calling my kid and me stupid was just the final thing that made me realize how unhealthy it is.  But hey, at least I sorta have a relationship with an aunt I didn't really have one with before, so that is potentially good. 
    I'll relax when we've achieved the goals I guess.  Even on vacation this stuff is inside, it goes with you.
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  5. Briannah added a post in a topic: Joe Biden Blasts Trump Administration For Rolling Back Trans Protections   

    Don't forget the insane 56 billion dollar defense budget spending increase.  Cuz you know, we have to protect a country that can't afford to feed, educate, house, or take care of it's people and infrastructure!  Gotta protect those graveyards!
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  6. Briannah added a post in a topic: Joe Biden Blasts Trump Administration For Rolling Back Trans Protections   

    That man is destroying everything.  I still can't believe he wants to defund cancer research and the cdc, can't deal with simple trans school guidelines, and want to kill us all with a lack of healthcare for the poor and no epa. 
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  7. Briannah added a post in a topic: Trump administration poised to change transgender student bathroom guidelines   

    I just read an article that there are still thousands of anti-gay conversion camps for teens being run int his country, and with Trump in charge I don't see that changing anytime soon.  Furthermore, I can only logically assume some of them also would do gender conversion therapy.  Despite reputable science affirming that it's not only ineffective, but absolutely harmful.  I had no idea there were still so many of them out there, I thought we'd at least gotten better on that front.  Nope.
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  8. Briannah added a blog entry in Learning to grow   

    Just life.
    Life evolves.  The original plan was only moving if Nikki found a job out of town. Which as of yet has not happened, but it's always a potentiality.  Unfortunately, I got curious, and I looked at towns around our area and asked NIkki what the maximum commute was, as apparently there are several choices in a city a half hourish south of us that would put our mortgage at a third to half of what we pay  now.  Let that percolate a moment, yeah.  And the houses are bigger and nicer.  One is so flat out gorgeous.  but we're not ready to list (although working hard at it!) and that city doesn't have a huge migration...so it's possible it will still be there when this one sells.  I need to sell this one first for the down payment for the next one.  And watching Trump deconstruct our country has forced me into the realization that we need to get a setup where if we have to we can survive okay on minimum wage jobs.  We can't do that in this house, and I feel financially insecure in what he's going to do in the next four years to realize now is the time to change that.  Course, if he drives us into another Great Depression, I'm not sure there will be any burger cooking (I just can't say flipping, I've worked at McD's, no flipping involved it's a giant really hot clam thing) jobs to be had. 
    Especially if you're me.  Republicans are trying to pass a bill now giving employers the right to genetic test employees and get the resutls.  So much for Hipaa.  I'm asthmatic, among other things, and I have no idea if that will show up or not.  But I imagine if that law passes people with conditions can start saying goodbye to jobs so employers can save money on insurance feees.  There is seriously no real reason an employer needs that level of medical information on potential employees.  And since they also want to defund medicare and welfare and everything else, I wonder what these jobless ill people will do to survive.  I imagine it won't be pretty.
    But the decision to sell the house and go has been finalized no matter what he does job wise.  And it's weird.  On the one hand, there is new life possibilities!  on the other hand...so much work, and crazy fears, an waiting for the house to sell being stuck in a limbo you can't control til that is done.  And resentment that it literally is the fact that I can't count on my country to care about people like us, or anyone not in the top 2% financial positions, that i have to do this.  Weird headspace for me right now, and I"m sorta volatile.  The trump fans are trying to tell me I'm overreacting.  I'm not.  When you see a potential weakness, you fix it.  $676 a month when I could get $150 to $290 a month is not an overreaction, it's a positive change so that if they automate, offshore, or just downsize nikki's job out we're not screwed. 
    My offspring is coming home next weekend to get the rest of his things, he's moving back with crazy ex.  Here's hoping she's grown less crazy with time and it works out okay.  It'll be great to get to see him, originally he was coming the weekend after but his moving plans changed, which is good becuase the weekend after I'll be driving to wehre it's warm to hop on a boat.  PALM TREES!  I'm coming palm trees!  I can't really explain the palm tree thing, they just make me happy. 
     
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  9. Briannah added a comment on a blog entry: Is A Transwoman The Same as a Cisgender Woman?   

    I don't know.  I don't think anyone will ever know if those two groups are the same or not, and so much of it would matter on what is the definition of same in this case.  But I'm not really sure it matters all that much anyway.  Every person is made up of both their inherent nature and the effect their life experiences have on the brain.  We all share common traits and wildly different traits no matter how you define a group of humans.  I think social's obsession with grouping people in the first place is the bigger problem than if any people with radically different life experiences are the same or not.  Society insists on grouping us and then extending certain behaviors to people in those groups.  Religious groups, gender groups, age groups, ethnic groups, racial groups, political groups.  Being in a group of shared experience/belief isn't bad, where it becomes bad is the mass social treatment (either on the good or poor end of the spectrum) based on belonging to a group, and individual merit, worth, and (I don't know the word I want here, deserved treatment?) gets supplanted by the groups.  We see ONLY the forest, and not the trees.  I don't think of other women as automatically the same as me either, a lot of them are dangerous or unpleasant in a variety of ways and I"m always highly aware of that and looking for individual traits rather than 'oh, she's a woman like me, soidarity!'
    I'm not sure if it's curable.  Misandry is a real thing too, and I run into it every day, but it's not talked about, I had to research hard to find out what the formal term was (Never once had to look up misogyny).  And it could be argued that it's not as big of a problem as misogyny, but that doesn't erase the fact that it something changed in the shift of power it would be.  These unkind feelings to the opposing gender exist in both, it's not a flaw of just one.  It's possible it's a leftover survival tactic, something we don't need anymore but haven't quite shed in our dna yet.  Or it's something we bred into our pscyhe after thousands of years of behavior.  I'm not sure we can talk about curing one side without the other realistically.  And it's just as ugly in the women as it is in the men. 
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  10. Briannah added a post in a topic: Trump administration poised to change transgender student bathroom guidelines   

    ​We'll probably, and thankfully, continue to see strong blue states continue protections, while red states strip them. It's an unfortunately correlation.  I wish the republicans would wake up and realize harming minority citizens isn't a healthy platform, but I dont' think they have much else to sell to the masses.  So much of what they do is catered to making the already rich get richer and have less obligation to the country.
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  11. Briannah added a post in a topic: 5th Trans Woman Murdered in US this Year   

    Because sometimes murder is just murder regardless of what the victim is, and they have to figure out if it it was because it was a transperson, or if it was because there was some sort of acrimony between them, mugging gone wrong, mistaken identity(weirdly this happens), insurance, a million motives.  They SHOULD be investigating motive to assess both the degree and if any or multiple hate crimes are involved before the charges are placed, or hate crime loses it's meaning and just starts to be any crime against minorities just gets that attached automatically and no conversations will be started anymore.  Also, I don't think it's technically a charge that can be applied until they have the suspect and start delving into their history and motivation.  It's an added charge after they have reason to believe that was the motive, and generally not brought into play until they start interrogating the suspect.  It's not technically it's own crime, so the police really don't have anything special to do in investigating other than history of aggression, harassment, or violence if any with transpersons and what the motive in this particular shooting is, and they typically look at pattern behavior like that with any suspect and his victim type.
    I've seen multiple murders in the black community growing up on the east coast with the same feeling from the community, but it turned out to have NOTHING to do with the victim being black in a lot of them.  More than anything else it was either money or failed relationships, those seem to be people's two favorite reasons (but not only).
    The time to put pressure on them is if the motive is ascertained to be about her trans status and the charge isn't applied.  
    Understand I'm not defending the perpetrator, and if he did it because of the obvious then it should absolutely be brought into play.  I'm just saying, we don't know who did it, or why they pulled that trigger yet. And the obvious isn't always the reason the actual crime occurred.  It very well could be a hate crime because she was a transperson.  Or it could have been a teen looking for a score and free money, or an angry abusive ex.  Sadly in the us the number one danger to women both cis and trans is exes, and pregnant woman is the father whether he's a current or ex.  And that is a complicated mix of personal and societal fail.  We really need to start teaching our youth, both boys and females because we're seeing increasing violence over boys in girls now too, that no one ever owns anyone else, and it's never worth killing over. 
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  12. Briannah added a comment on a blog entry: WIsh me luck - Youtube Hair Idiocy. :)   

    Oh my god it came out great!  Longer than I am ultimately looking for, but I wanted to cut it longer in case it didn't come out right.  I love it!  The layers are great and soft, and it took me literally four minutes to do (other than the three minutes of mirror silliness where I was flipping the pony tail you make on the forehead going "I'm a unicorn! UNICORN!" and possibly badly singling some music from teh Last Unicorn before I got down to business like an adult). 
    And not only do I really like how it came out, but it occurs to me that three minutes is a really simple, fast process to keep it constantly touched up and keep that fresh new haircut feel whenever I want to.  Not only free, but it put's me really back in control of my own hair.  Nikki liked the final look too.  Cleanup was easy too, I did the actual cutting over the toilet so just flushed the snips away.  No mess.  I was super nervous but the results have calmed my fears. Sent photos to a couple freinds to make sure nothing looked funny, got the all important girlfriend approvals. 
    What are you looking to do with your hair?
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  13. Briannah added a blog entry in Learning to grow   

    WIsh me luck - Youtube Hair Idiocy. :)
    So I watched about a billion youtube videos about doing the fairly simply, layered haircut I favor yourself.  And it is actually fairly idiot proof, you basically let your head do the work for you.  Ponytail it all at your forehead instead of your crown, cut teh ponytail at the desired length, and take the band out.  Voila.  The natural spaces on your head arrange the hair at different lengths as it takes further from the nap to your forehead than mid-head and crown, etc. etc.  It's faster, no awkward descriptions and miscommunications, and best of all, no product hard sell.  There is nothing a the salon I can't get cheaper elsewhere.  And my hair is long enough that if it doesn't work out for my texture(you never know, salon or at home really, what a particular cut will do with your individual hair I have learned the hard way, I look like a weird porcupine with some kinda bent quill birth defect if I try to rock the really short hair) I can go in and get the layered bob I was thinking of.  I'm going to cut it longer than I was thinking I would like it to see how it looks first, and then I can always do it a second time if it works for me.  Then I have to redye it green, it's fading into blond really fast now.
    What is everyone else doing with their hair? 
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  14. Briannah added a post in a topic: College: Feces swastika found in gender-neutral bathroom   

    And while we're on the topic, the arts themselves are in danger, they are either going after or already canned the national endowment. I  can't think of anything that brings people together and shares understanding and wisdom than art.    
    But a college can only teach so much, they can't really change the worldview of students taught something from birth if the student doesn't want to learn something different.  There are always gonna be students who just go to get their degree and shrug off the rest, never realizing how valuable other points of view really are whether it changes theirs or not, understanding other worldviews makes getting along int eh world with them better.  I know a lot of people whose worldviews drive me up the wall, but learning where they got those views has been invaluable in understanding the greater world around me. 
    Haters of everything, be it trans or women or a culture, whatever the detail, have always been everywhere, but we still made TREMENDOUS progress as a society desptie them.  Yes, we are backsliding a bit now, but I think it's a last desperate flail.  A great many people who were apathetic to it before are starting to realize its' not okay now that is' naked instead of subtle.  And the people who don't hate are working harder than i have EVER seen them to make things better, and that gives us hope that we will rebound, recover, and continue forging forward.  The world populations are moving around, intermingling, exposing to each other, and slowly learning to get on.  But the world is different than it was when I was a child, it is better.  Fixed?  No.  But better.  A black man won president past the racial glass ceiling.  A woman won the popular vote, and if not for electoral math would have broken that glass ceiling too.  These ideas were IMPOSSIBLE when I was young.  It's slow, it's painful to be alive during the time everyone has to fight and protest and be harshly vigilant about our rights nad respecting those of people with ugly views, but we ARE making it better for those that come after.  It was better for us than those that came before.  And that is important to hold on to.
    *whispers* Pinterest has some really great cheap recipes that don't seem cheap on the plate.  I'm not mocking the starving artist comment, I'm just sharing a tidbit from one tight budget to another!    Food costs are rising at an insane level, and need to be carefully managed these days. 
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  15. Briannah added a post in a topic: College: Feces swastika found in gender-neutral bathroom   

    Oh gross.  I have a friend who is an accountant in a city tax department, and they're right next to the water department.  She once casually mentioned the door covered in feces has happened more than once.  Usually it's the water department door, but occasionally people get confused and hit the tax office door.  They could tell it wasn't meant for the tax office despite the obvious ire potential becuase most of the time partial water bills with the identifiying top part ripped off are adhered. 
    Angry people get gross, and stupid.  I really also feel bad for whatever poor janitor soul gets stuck having to deal with that.
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