Briannah

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About Briannah

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 02/04/1972

Profile Information

  • Gender Female
  • Location Ohio
  • Interests Nikki, time with the offspring, Anime, Gaming, Turtles, Cruising, Ghost Stories/Books/Movies, Origami, Camping, swimming, snorkeling, beaches, pets, Halloween!, Photography thought I'm not overly skilled at it.

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Briannah's Activity

  1. Briannah added a post in a topic: What's your perfume   

    Ya'll can laugh at me if you want, I wear old lady perfume ! Meusli (it smells just like lily of the valley, YUM, which I have been assured since I was 19 and found it is an 'old lady' perfume, which changed my love of it not one iota, this whole age determining everything bothers me) .  And anything White Ginger, if it's done well, There are some cheap white ginger knockoffs that are hideous.
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  2. Briannah added a post in a topic: Transgender Christians   

    I have to admit, I find the idea that other cultures need redeeming to be absolutely horrifying.  I'm glad to see him trying to increase communication, but...the rest of that sentence really scares me.  No one culture is better or worse than an another.  All have flaws and strengths, and this comes across as just another variant of the 'outsider savior' complex that has done so very much damage throughout history.
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  3. Briannah added a comment on a blog entry: One Door Closes, Another Door Opens   

    Enjoy the grand adventure!  I envy you that freedom to go wherever and do whatever!  It sounds like a great grand adventure!  If you ever make it around Ohio be sure to stop by and have dinner with us!    ​ I'm glad that the worst is behind you and you have found peace with the changes in your life, and then excitement about what is to come next!  *Hugs*  May the road ahead bring you joy, laughter, and adventure!  Beautiful photo in which you look ready to tackle the world! 
    And I really really envy you the Minnie!  Grandpa had a Minnie Winnie after he sold the pull behind Airstream, we had so much fun in that. : )  Mostly at Assateague Island and Indian Lake, but the where mattered less than the adventure.    ​I miss that rv and all the silly fun we had in it. 
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  4. Briannah added a blog entry in Learning to grow   

    Having a good day.
    Just spent the last hour having my hair painted with my favorite green dye to repair the damage from the sun, spa, chlorine pool, hot tubs, therapy tub, and sea on vacation.  There was a girl with pink hair tipped in purple and me with my green, and by the end of the week she was completely blond again and I was almost there, with just the front part clinging to the green.  Looked like deliberately done modern streaking through, so I was somewhat happy with that.  It's really relaxing to sit around having someone painting on your hair, to be honest.  Nikki wanted to try the brush technique instead of bottle and massage since that kind didn't go so well, although it did dye my computer room a lovely matching shade to my hair.  LOL  As expected from someone with painting experience, this went beautifully for both painter and paintee.   And as it's drying it's coming out really well, I'm thrilled. 
    The day is lovely too, it's a clear lovely day after a morning storm and around 83 degrees.  YAY SPRING!  Please stay spring, I'll be REALLY nice to you.  Totally.  I'm done with your sibling winter.  Nikki's cold/flu thing continues, but he's in much better spirits with the better weather.  Still only have a surprisingly light case of it myself, this is weird.  Usually I fall pretty to germs and he doesn't.  Once a few years ago a bug ripped through town, but targeted people with generally strong immune systems like Nikki and my bff but left those with weaker ones like me alone.  It was weird, and this seems to be acting like that. 
    Now I plan to spend the evening enjoying the scent of the Argan oil in my hiar (the dye uses it, smells really good) and killing things in my favorite mmo.  Bring on the cyberenemies! 
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  5. Briannah added a comment on a blog entry: long time...   

    The stirrups are awful, and exceedingly akward physically in my opinion, it just feels like physical about to fall while all the bits are exposed to the world.  Meh.  And I have to be so careful just getting in them, I nearly fell off the table last time.  Cuz you know, that was a great moment for my inherent clumsy to rear it's head and not embarrassing at all.  LOL  And all I can say is plastic speculums beat metal, they're not icicle-like.
    I'm so glad you are all healed up without crazy complications!  So many scary stories about bacteria these days!  Here's to a long and healthy new life! 
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  6. Briannah added a blog entry in Learning to grow   

    ALl the houses are starting to blur together.
    SO it's my job to keep an eye on the housing market and come up with reasonable solutions for later, while Nikki full on job hunts and we work together on the actual physicality of packing and repairs.  So...he'll give me a city  he's found a potential job in and I yay or nay based on  housing prices.  But now I have looked at so so many that they have blended into one insane, nightmare of a house riddled with water damage, hideous pink bathrooms, strange flora outside that looks like it want to eat me, and weird inexplicable THINGS I can't identify that my brain hurts.  I am dreaming of bizarre and ugly houses now.  And, of course, getting lost in them.  I do have to say though my unconscious mind comes up with some awesome floor plans, that I can never remember when I wake up.   Cosmetic damage I can handle, water damage makes me really leery of getting involved.  You never know how that will play out long term in a structure.  Although in the one house I am legit confused how the dining room, in the middle of the house with no logical exposure to any of the piping whatsoever, looked like an aquatic bomb of some sort went off in it.  And the rooms above and to the sides are fine.  Just that one room.  Did they run a fountain or something in there???  And what exactly is the deal with people feeling the need to put a weird little wrought iron fence next to the door inside the house?  It just looks goofy.  And don't get me started on what I mistook for a stripper pole but realized was actually some sort of duct pipe from the basement to roof through both stories, that was odd.  One house had columns just hanging from the ceiling, like creepy wooden stalactites, but not touching the floor. I assume a base has somehow gone missing, that's all I got.  One looked like a crime scene happened and never got cleaned up.  And Ohio has a truly terrifying love of the pink, yellow, pink AND yellow, and yellow and hideous green bathrooms. And none of them done well, my eyes.  But unless I'm going to win the lottery tomorrow, I'm going to have to keep my eyes on potential 'this can be fixed down the line'.  I do draw the line at a pink bathroom though.  Just no.  And really just no to the one that wasn't the usual pastel bathroom pink, but some bizarre neon pink-magenta horror that I think should require the realtor person to offer sunglasses to show the house, or at least a warning incase buyers didn't look at the photos.
    And now we're in full on debate of the pool.  I get Nikki's point it's a lot of work if the house sells quickly to have put it up and then take it back down.  However, I also kinda feel it selling quickly is a sorta pipe dream and I don't want to be slowly baking away all summer either without my pool retreat.  One of those utterly stupid decisions you don't really know what the right one is til afterwards.  We don't have central air, only have small window units that sorta work in the computer room and the bedroom, so the pool is the main source of cooling down.  A quick dip in the water makes the summer heat feel reasonable for several hours at a time.  And our town pools have become ragingingly expensive.
    So Nikki met new therapist, and reports that she's easy to talk to and he's happy with her, so that is good. There's also hints that one on one therapy is winding down, on a monthly schedule now that most of the big issues have been worked through.  So maybe it's time to consider marital counseling.  We've been unable to work out some differences on our own, and it's really getting frustrating this 'whatever you want' and then getting mad about what I decided to do ongoing behavior.  And I TRY To find out what Nikki wants, but there is a real in ability to ever tell me he wants anything or offer up some kind of opinion to work with.  Personally, I think either he really truly has no internal wants or needs or his antidepressants aren't high enough to overcome the mental fog yet.  I can't tell which.  Can you sorta...hollow out after a few years of depression and just not come back even with treatment and meds?  I don't even know if my expectations are reasonable or if I'm wanting crazy things, but I'm tired of driving the bus and everything falling to me to decide other than a few big gesture choices (which how they happen then ends up to me to drive the bus on, even his part of the job hunting I've had to start helping out and scouring the net and e-mailing a list) versus a partnership  I know I'm the research gerbil, but either help me out a little or get me some carrots at least.  And yes, you better believe we have this conversation clearly, and often.  I'm not the wife type who whines to everyone but her spouse and then wonders why things don't get better, I tackle it first with him and then brainstorm for ideas/reality checks/empathy/wisdom/whatever comes my way.  I tried refusing to decide and waiting until he did some of it, but literally nothing happened but some tv watching.  For two weeks.  Till I couldn't take it anymore.  I hate tv.  ​Sorry, venting before I explode at my spouse I guess, unless someone has some useful advice, I'll make you cookies. ​  Have tried talking to him with every tactic I could think of, refusing to do it, trying to engage him in every step, just doing it myself, trying to get him to talk about it with his therapist, I got nothing left other than joint counseling it feel like.  But only after he's really done with his single, cant' float two bills right now.  ​ And you know, insurance companies don't value counseling like people do.
    I'm going to try to get some sleep now and snuggle up with my cat.  My cat probably makes neon pink bathrooms less ugly, he's a pretty cat. 
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  7. Briannah added a comment on a blog entry: Is There A Place For Short-Term Relationships?   

      Glad to know my bizarre and storied dating history is finally useful to someone else besides me (It helped me tremendously build a life with Nikki having sorted out what I wanted and how to relate to others).  I was raised on the you'll know what to do when it's time ideology.  Only... I didn't.  I had no freakin' clue.  I didn't know how to manage a relationship, I didn't know how to diaper a kid, I didn't know how to budget, I didn't know how to leave a relationship (or even know when I SHOULD at the beginning).  I still got here, but sometimes I just look at my family and shake my head as they congratulate themselves on how well they did 'raising me' and lament how often I didn't listen.  LOL
    Then I realized that a LOT of people have this weird idea that it's not okay to talk about a lot of things, and then weird ideas form around those things, both individually and culturally.  If I could get one wish for my society it would be for that society across the board to start realizing life is individual, and it's okay to talk about and share that individuality and learn from each other instead of judging each other.  Would make SO many issues easier. 
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  8. Briannah added a comment on a blog entry: Is There A Place For Short-Term Relationships?   

    In my personal experience (which has run both ends of the spectrum, from insane what was I doing to hey I have my love stuff together!) I have learned one thing, there is no perfection.  There is no standard, no ideal, and no repeatable experiences.  Each one is unique, each one teaches us something, and most are worth having.  The ones that are harmful can still yield positives, but I can't bring myself to say they were worth having.  And this is from someone who got her son out of one, it's complicated in my head sometimes. 
    I think in a lot of cases that one of our great societal problems is the concepts of short versus long term relationships in the first place, that one is 'good' and one is 'bad'.  You are asking yourself if you are selling yourself short by considering this, which indicates to me you have some lingering unresolved internal conflict with the choice that you need to resolve inside before you embark both for your sake and your partners.  If you aren't going into this openly without dealing with that feeling, it has a real potential to eat at you and the relationship.  Or I'm over reading into your post.    Also, realistically, no one can tell if a relationship is going to be long or short.  Unless we want to go back to the random lottery of arranged partnerships, the whole reason we date at all is to explore and analyze the potential.  I've seen people stay in ridiculous relationships because they have some sort of weird concept of 'wasted time' or 'refusal to fail' instead of realizing they're continuing to waste time in a relationship that is failing them . I have no idea where this behavior comes from, but it seems unhealthy and pointless to me. 
    On your con list, several of them are unrealistic cons.  NO ONE isn't gassy, literally no one.  It's a byproduct of human digestion, we all area.  Live-together couples deal with it.  Just we have this weird social taboo so no one realizes how bad it is for everyone, and things they are somehow weird or unpleasant to be around. No ones bathroom products smell good either.  You just deal with the little inconveniences of life when living with someone.  Nikki is awful in both those, wouldn't give my Nikki up, I just open the window a lot after one of us has been in there.  ​ Some Febreeze helps too.  Most people are more set in their ways than we realize, compromise is not an innate talent it's a learned skill, and there is nothing wrong with trying to find someone with a similar set of ways to reduce the amount of compromise.  The allergies and finances are more 'real' hurdles vs. feelings you have about yourself that make you hesitant in my opinion, and the best advice I can give for that is be open and upfront if you hit the point where short term may look different.  WEll, maybe prior to the first date with the allergy part, but the finances can wait.    But ​health issues that can trigger on a date such as cat lady covered in cat hair at the date could be an issue.  But I clearly hear your desire to retain independence.  But I do ask have you spoken with someone in your disability office to ask how a marriage would affect that?  I know a lot of people on various disability who are married, but I'm not up on the laws. 
    I am NOT trying to force you to change your feelings on anything, just giving my honest take on the list that you can do what you want with my thoughts.    No ​one has to be permacoupled to be happy, but some of that really is normal for the course and not a barrier and I just wanted to be clear.  
    Short term relationships aren't bad.  There is nothing wrong with enjoying them, and getting to repeatedly enjoy the thrills and highs of new people and relationships.  Society frowned on it for a long time because it didn't fit with the model of what they wanted, but monogamy is a social training in us, not a natural evolved instinct.  It was a solution to various issues over history, and remains in place as a tradition, but the only way to be 'wrong' in choosing to have several relationships over time (or even at the same time) is when lying is involved to the partners.  You are settled, in a good place in your life, and just want some companionship/romance, enjoy all the short term relationships you want.  LIfe is too short not to enjoy things.  And if you find it's not your cup of tea after you've tried it, then you can always re-evaluate your choices and options after.  You won't know if it fulfills the niche in your life or makes it worse until you start exploring. 
    Go for it, see how it works for you.  You can stop at any time if it's not, you're not selling yourself short at all, and it's always better to try for happiness and it not go right than to not try at all. 
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  9. Briannah added a blog entry in Learning to grow   

    Adventures in Spa land.
    So I was warm for something like 11 days.  10 really, the second day of the drive home was cold and insanely rainy and foggy depending on where we were.  Managed to not fry my skin or drown in the spa.  Seriously, that was nearly a thing.  We got the spa access package this cruise which we never do, but Nikki's injured back benefitted greatly.  So we tried new things.  Here's how that went, feel free to laugh. 
    ​1) Heated Ceramic Loungers - big ceramic lounge chairs designed by a chiropractor to help align your body properly and they are heated from within.  Being hard ceramic covered in pretty shimmery tiles sounds rather uncomfortable, but holy cow those were comfortable.  And warm.  So this only went a LITTLE wrong for me, as in...got stuck.  They are easy to get onto, but weirdly hard to get back off.  You have to push up in a weird way and the first day I couldn't figure it out.  Of course Nikki rescued me, laughing like a crazy person.  And mid week I might have fallen asleep and had to be woken up as I was snoring rather unfortunately. ​ Other than that they were easy to use, and I realized while I can't quite recreate the chiropractic curves to force the alignment at home, I can take a heating blanket on the recliner and recreate the lounge/heat effect for sore backs at home.  So that's a win.  Really did end up loving these warm comfy trap couches by the end of the week.  Nikki hates the heating pad, even with the cover the plastic part under it somehow makes the skin sweat a lot, and it moves around constantly, so I think this might be a better solution with the blanket/recliner.
    2) Dry Sauna - what it sounds like, a sauna room with no steam.  There was a little fountain emitting the pleasant running water sounds nad pretty.  The benches were the inner heated ceramic covered in shimmery tiles like the loungers, but shaped like normal benches.  The room was VERY warm and nice.  And you didn't have to be in a swimsuit to use this one, so it was nice after walking in the winds on the promenade.  Getting out was easy, just go through the door.  Until you realized the the door makes a dying walrus scream in the quiet lounger room and everyone is not glaring at you.  Really like this, and am aware it's possible to have one in a home, so must look into costs on this thing.  I might actually like one.
    3) Steam Sauna - Pretty much what you expect, but holy cow those were wet.  So very very wet.  It really felt like you were drowning trying to breath.  You could choose different scents for the steam by pushing some buttons, but I was too busy trying to get oxygen in with all the water in the air.  I thought maybe it was an issue with my lungs from the asthma, but Nikki has no such compromising damage to his lung tissue and he couldn't breath either.  So we are apparently not steam sauna people.  The feeling of drowning while sitting on pretty shimmery tiles with a pretty lovely sounding flower fountain was really disconcerting.   On the plus side, the door was quiet to this. No steam if I ever do get a sauna in my house, just no.  No more steam.  Another cruiser later said her spa gives you chilled wet washcloths for your face and that helps with the breathing thing, but I don't think I would like my face being covered like that.  I'll stay dry.
    4) Jungle shower.  So I paid for access to this stuff, I was gonna try it.  What could go wrong?  This was a shower in a circular wall of that pretty shimmery tile on just about everything else in this area, you're inside a column with part of an arc missing for a door.  You shower in your swimsuit, no doors.  There's a soothing green light in the top.  SO I'm in the warm shower, and notice there are buttons.  So what could go wrong?  I push the first button, and woosh!  A monsoon of cold water in the middle of my cozy warm shower.  I shriek because I'm that started and leap out, Nikki thinks I've burned myself, and busts out laughing when he realizes I just ran away from a little cold water.  In my defense it was a LOT of REALLY cold water.  So there is a second button, and now I'm really wary, but I push it anyway.   Maybe it's the warm jungle rain right?  Nope.  A whole bunch of little hidden nozzles drench me in icy cold fog.  So I am definitely not a jungle shower type of person.  Silly me thought maybe the buttons did light shows in the top, or jungle sounds or something.  Maybe aromatherapy jungle orchid scents or something.  It shoulda been called the surprise arctic shower.
    5) Hydrotherapy tub - this is a big tub, 3'9" deep, with water heated to the body temperature and filled with calcium and sea minerals.  There are three sections.  The first is a tall pipe you stand under, and it forces water in a flat sheet down on you, good for shoulders, neck, and back.  That went reasonably well, until the boat shifted suddenly and I got a face full, but easily corrected.  Then there is a metal circle in the middle with a small opening to get inside it, and what looked like a steering wheel in the middle that you apparently grab onto and hold.  The whole area works like a hot tub, with energy saving buttons, so as I was entering the metal circle in the middle of the pool it all shut off and Nikki went to push the button.  So I can see the buttons starting up from the holes in the floor in the metal circle, and I'm ready for bubbles.  Spa lady said this part was good for legs and hips.  Great, I have hip issues.  Bring it on!  Well, it did come on.  This REALLY strong bubblestorm rises up, and swirls around the metal circle.  I was on the far side from the start point, so I had a moment to contemplate this frothing mass coming at me.  Then it hit, and I was standing at some weird angle and managed to force all that frothing bubblestorm not to my hips, but strait up my body and into my face and I'm drowning myself standing up in a tub that only is a little over my waist.  Only me, honestly.  And before all these facial dunkings I had tied up my hair to keep it dry, that was funny.  NOw I look like a drowned rat with a crooked, odd updo.    ​But...once I figured out what I was doing wrong and altered my stance, it really did do wonders for the legs and hips.  Wish I had one of these things at home!  So now it's time to try the last part, this 'couch' of metal tubes (so the bubbles can come through) that puts you in a reclining position in the heated water.  Remember, I'm clumsy.  I managed to bang up my happily bubble massaged legs, hips, shoulders, and head trying to get on to this thing.  But I did finally get in position, and was less impressed.  So I just did the first two, and then sorta free floated in the water loosely outside the metal circle of face water attacking, because I cannot even tell you all how much that calcium and sea minerals did amazing things to our skin.  I had never felt skin so TOUCHABLE.  So very very touchable.  So I was sitting at dinner probably freaking people out around me by petting my own arm in awe. 
    So...I think it was more or less a success.    The ​treatments helped Nikkis back a lot, and I managed to use them without killing myself or ending up permanently trapped by them.  Which is kind a major victory for me.  WOOT!  So now I'm going to look at our local spa options and see what sorta lounger/sauna/tub options they have.  They can keep the jungle showers though.  But I was heated, relaxed, steamed, watered, and massaged within in inch of my life.  We possibly overused the stuff, but it was kinda addicting and easy to get to on a ship with the spa just a short elevator ride up.  It was on our side of the boat! 
    I have to figure out something to do with my hair though.  All the pool, spa, and seawater stripped out the dye really fast.  It's hard(so far impossible) to find permanent dye in the shades of green I favor, so I'm thinking getting a clear cassia (jic sorta like henna, doesn't chemically alter the hair but wraps it in a sheath of clear protection that slowly washes out) after I use the semi-permanent dye to protect it for a few weeks against being stripped out by the pool this summer.  I used to use it when I was younger, it made it incredibly shiny and soft, but stopped when I moved here as it's not easy to find locally, but I have located several online options.  Meanwhile, must hit the supply store tomorrow to get more green.   
    Side note: The current one I'm using has argan oil in it.  So I got a bottle of leave in conditioner with this argan oil (after I looked it up on Wikipedia to even know what this stuff is) and I'm totally a convert.  Argan oil is amazing for hair.  It won't work crazy miracles, but it has done wonders detangling my cotton candy hair and dealing with the bleaching damage.  Supposedly it also helps strengthen hair, but I don't have a lotta breakage issues so I can't really tell.   On Nikki it's done wonders reducing his somewhat unmanageable frizz into soft smooth waves.  I'm often late to the party on these things, but in case I'm not for once I wanted to share. 
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  10. Briannah added a post in a topic: Dress size???   

    My best advice is to do what I do for myself.   Shop online, and look at the clothing size info for EACH site.  Most will have an information section showing you where the measurements the use are, and then take the measurements (the final measurements, remember to have any corsets, trainers, breast forms, hip padding, anything that is currently in use if applicable; and this part I actually learned from me in the creepy back killing brace post surgery and girdle life after I started ripping the new hernia, then later realized it applied to Nikki's shopping) and go from there.  Different stores use different measurements in the sizes, so it pays to check each one (and occasionally one or two put the measurement guides in weird places)  and just keep a list of the measurements to match to the sizes.  It's long been a frustration of women's fashion that there is no such thing as a standard size of any kind even with places that use the same scale.  But most of the stores are reasonably faithful to their own measurement guides, and there should be little trouble.  But in case there is some, most reputable online stores like woman within will allow returns/exchanges.  And this offers a level of privacy insulation until the shopper is more comfortable going to the brick and mortar.
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  11. Briannah added a comment on a blog entry: Living on hope of vacation.   

    Yeah.  And the dog really is beautiful, and with proper handling would be able to live a happy dog life instead of being in danger.  But there isn't anything I can do, Dad didn't hear a word I said when we were talking, he's not going to hear it now.  I hope Dad's increasing jerk behavior reduces the amount of social visits to his home and thus protects the dog that way.  Dog deserves better. 
    Looks around.  I adulated.  I finished packing yesterday, two days early.  Usually I'm up all night trying to pack until an hour before time to go. LOL
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  12. Briannah added a comment on a blog entry: New Neighbor story. Short, but this is my weird life.   

    Thank you, it was last April that she went, but we only found out about the issue behind the filing cabinet and the bookshelve when we just moved them as part of the prepping to sell.  She was a great cat though.    And ​normally didn't pee all over the place, I swear.  She did live a long life of 14 years though.  Her brother is still going strong, and trying to kick Nikki out.  Hes' a bit of a terrirorial cat about me. 
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  13. Briannah added a blog entry in Learning to grow   

    New Neighbor story. Short, but this is my weird life.
    So.  The neighbors.  Again.  Yes.  One of the many reasons I'm not sad that Nikki pushed the moving idea. 
    I have a trick for large item trash to avoid paying fees.  I put the times out the day AFTER trash pick up, so they have roughly a week until the next one.  And only once has it failed me and the item did not 'just wander off on it's own!".  So we found out that Yuriko had been peeing behind the filing cabinet I had for years to organize.  She died of brain cancer, but no one knew she had it until the day we had to put her to sleep, but in the last six months or so of her life she had developed some strange behaviors as the cancer was changing her little brain.  My poor kitty.  But anyway, she had taken to peeing behind the metal filing cabinet, and apparently on this ancient pressboard bookshelf I've had since I was 16.  That is 1988 for those who really wanna know the age of this thing, and no, I have ZERO idea how it lasted that long, it's the kind where they sorta glued sawdust together and called it wood but this thing really didn't wanna die.  So pretty much unsalvageable, so I put both out on a Friday afternoon and resolved not to think about it unless they were still there by Wednesday, in which case I would call the trash company and arrange for the Thursday pickup to take them.
    Saturday morning I am started out of my bed, at FIVE IN THE MORNING.  By the sound of grown men arguing LOUDLY just under our bedroom window.  I am exceedingly confused why it seems two random strangers chose to have some sort of what sounded like a deeply emotional conflict on my yard at that hour, so I hauled myself out of bed and reached for the curtain, and pulled it aside just a wee bit to see.  And yup, it's the neighbor son, fighting with some random dude who was loading the filing cabinet into his pickup.  Which I suspected would go easily, it's metal and metal salvage is big here among the poor now . But the neighbor is yelling at him his mom saw it first and it was theirs.  Dude was finally like then you should have taken it, finished loading, and left.  Yes, there were two people who argued for nearly a half hour over my TRASH.  We have reached the point where people are actually fighting over peed on, trashed furniture that really isn't usable anymore. 

    So I figure that's the end of it, the bookshelf will sit, and I'll have to pay a coupla bucks to get rid of it.  Or Nikki can take the hatchet to it and we can burn it in the fire pit out back.  Whatever.  I got back to sleep, and we get up a few hours later and go out to run a few errands.  As I'm standing by the car, something is bugging me for a minute, and I can't figure out what... and then I realize, yup.  The creepy neighbors actually took the ancient bookshelf that had finally begun to disintegrate and was so soaked in cat urine that no amount of the enzyme cleaner I tried to use to salvage it made a difference into their house.  Where they have cats, who are going to take that as a challenge and pee all over my cats pee. 
    Some days the crazy just won't let me not look at it and contemplate how we got to this point on this street.  Here's hoping future battles over my trash occur at reasonable hours at least.  Do you think it would be taken amiss if I put out a sign that reads "All battles over our trash must occur in this corner of the yard, and only between the hours of 1pm and 6pm".  LOL
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  14. Briannah added a blog entry in Learning to grow   

    Living on hope of vacation.
    So Nikki's back has been out for a while now, so I dragged him strait to the doctor Friday, based on the pain response from limb manipulation test, they think at this point it's an inflammation problem rather than an injury from all the physical labor we've been doing.  (I'm sore as anything too, but I still have full flexibility and only sore-pain not crazy pain like after the surgery I had or what he's feeling so I'm sure I'm just tired) and they gave us anti-inflammatory pills that are helping.  And new doctor reassured me a bit that maybe this relationship will work out because she addressed on her own that the pills and his antidepressents are contraindicated for each other, but he's not going to be on the new stuff long enough to run into trouble so not to worry without us having to ask or see the warnings.  These days a doctor who is paying attention to what medications you are taking and how they mix is great, so many have stopped. 
    We start driving Friday, and board the ship Sunday.  I'm so tired, stressed out, trying to figure out how to proceed forward in the best way, I need this vacation.  I had a weird breakdown over trying to pack.  Simply the act of deciding what clothing to take was the last raindrop that burst the dam, but there is so much going on right now internally and externally that I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  Like I told my friend recently, you feel what you feel, it doesn't go away even if you don't act on it, and you do have to deal with those feelings. So taking my own advice and trying to sort through it all.  A reminder that no matter how good you have it there are things that harm you.  I know I have a good life, I do, but still, there are ugly things trying to claw my eyes out.  And when people say "I wish my life was as simple as yours!" it's a trap you can start to fall into and forget that your life isn't really so simple.  I just keep a lot of internally irl, I don't talk about things nearly as much as I do here, and aside from coming to learn about transgender, I have also come to learn a great deal about the safe space concept and it's real world emotional applications here.  Good lesson.  So I try to make my home and interactions with others safe space. 
    So getting to know my paternal aunt a bit better, we've been talking on Facebook a lot, and at first she was trying to fix things between me and my dad, but as time goes on she's coming to understand what happened and that it can't be.  She just got back from a visit with him, and his 70-something pound german shepard just bit her, and instead of controlling the dog or correcting it, Dad just stood there laughing about it.  And when she was rightfully upset, he did the whole "Roscoe wants you to know he's a scared little being in a world he doesn't understand, and he can't help his feelings".  Really?  No one is challenging the dog, and as usual, Mr You have to take responsibility refused to take any for his responsibility to properly control and handle his pooch.  It's a beautiful dog, and I don't really want to see that poor thing put down because my dad is stupid about his dogs.  And then it became 'you're obviously an unhappy person, and we'll pray for you!" when she refused to just brush it off and left.  Which is really sad, because my Dad made so much fun of my poor grandma for saying things like that.   I didn't really want to be involved in that conversation, but she was worried I needed to know about the dog and the issue. I already knew, same thing happened when I was younger, to both her and me.  She'd forgotten about that, and it was her aha moment, that she really didn't understand the dynamic between dad and me was a lifetime of things, and calling my kid and me stupid was just the final thing that made me realize how unhealthy it is.  But hey, at least I sorta have a relationship with an aunt I didn't really have one with before, so that is potentially good. 
    I'll relax when we've achieved the goals I guess.  Even on vacation this stuff is inside, it goes with you.
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  15. Briannah added a post in a topic: Joe Biden Blasts Trump Administration For Rolling Back Trans Protections   

    Don't forget the insane 56 billion dollar defense budget spending increase.  Cuz you know, we have to protect a country that can't afford to feed, educate, house, or take care of it's people and infrastructure!  Gotta protect those graveyards!
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