Jump to content
Transgender Guide Message Board


  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won



About Briannah

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 02/04/1972

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
  • Interests
    Nikki, time with the offspring, Anime, Gaming, Turtles, Cruising, Ghost Stories/Books/Movies, Origami, Camping, swimming, snorkeling, beaches, pets, Halloween!, Photography thought I'm not overly skilled at it.

Recent Profile Visitors

3,714 profile views
  1. Briannah

    Still alive!

    So that job Nikki took last year has been going well, he's still there, and I have joined up also. More money than I've ever made, and while the working conditions are extremely chaotic and we don't have much time for a personal life, it's weirdly satisfying and they seem to like me. And it enabled us to afford to buy another house while we wait to sell the one we still own. Which of course means my NJ friends aren't talking to me for this week after I showed them the Zillow ad and admitted I negotiated under asking price, which could maybe buy me a garden shed back home. I do miss NJ still, but who can afford it these days! Nikki's doing wonderfully despite not being in therapy since she passed, but he plans to find a new one once we are settled. I get not wanting to start over twice, and I hope he gets one he likes as much. I think he's way more stable these days than I am. Of course, I also am the one that came up with the idiot plan to move in with my mom to try to sell our house. *smirks* Self-inflicted injury. But we are moving FINALLY sometime in the next month or two. Still married, still going along with the flow, have managed to NOT injure myself with Nikki's breast forms lately (brownie points to anyone who remembers that story!). Although I did manage to nearly kill myself with mom's weird bathtub, the kind that goes waist high that you walk in and bath in without having to step over the tub wall with this odd shaped door by slamming my head into it full bore when I dropped something. Some days it's a wonder I live. Nikki also wants me to go back to a therapist, he did some research and thinks I've been misdiagnosed with add instead of adhd, as apparently it presents differently in women, but they'd only done the research on male children back in my day. If he's right it explains a lot. *Looks around* I refused to tell him how many of the criteria I fit when he was asking me about the list, I'll get a pro to re-diagnose me thank you very much. LOL Hope you are all doing well!
  2. Briannah

    On Turning Sixty . . .

    Happy belated birthday, and I hope it was as lovely as you are. As for society at large, make them give way! Dont' let them put you under any feet! There is one benefit we tend to forget as we age, along with all the changes you outlined, comes knowledge and the realization that we don't have to care anymore and can be who we want to be. I'm working again, but my hair is still blue and they can like it for example, where I spent most of my youth too scared to do things I wanted that were outside the norm. There is still much to revel in my friend, and I wish you joy exploring and find it all!
  3. Briannah

    I wish our bodies came with manuals.

    The pods moving won't really solve the main problems here, along with the there is absolutely no place to even put one where we are staying currently (the yard is tiny, and so is the driveway, and we have three cars crammed onto it and there is no street parking while a pod was here for a day, the back tiny yard is fenced, no way to put anything in it, and the front yard has a drastic slope. Secondly, Nikki really doesn't want to carry all the boxes OUT of the basement. I don't blame him. So movers is the way to go this time, and let someone else do the schlepping. And, ​I'm cheap. Why pay a storage fee for my pod when I can continue using the storage it's in now for free. LOL I have brought them to my doctor, but most of them don't seem to have a cuase, she ran a bunch of tests and checks over my food diary and sleep log from my fitbit, and can't find a pattern or basic cause for most of it. So ​apparently I age weird. She's still plugging away at it though. So ​I'm getting the same result you are, 'everyone ages different, and that's probably the cause!". Meh. On the bright side, still only have the smallest amount of gray hair in my roots. (hair is currently blue, but I can see a bit of root). It doesnt' really matter to me, if it all went white it would be easier to get the crazy colors I like, but it drives certain annoying members of my family who went gray in high school crazy.
  4. Briannah

    Being Autistic and transgender

    I would just like to pipe up ant say, the claims about autism with vaccines? The original author made it up. He made up the study, and it came out on scrutiny originally that the tests were poorly controlled and done, but he later admitted he'd pretty much made up most of it. Unfortunately, there is a large population of the population who will not hear that, or all the studies about it. My best friend's son has autism, so I sporadically follow the new related to it, and often get directed to interesting things by her. I'm glad it brought you peace. Learning what my disorder is and isn't(add), and where I can separate out behavior issues alongside it and improve as well as coping mechanisms for the actual disorder has brought me much peace. I have not asked for concessions from people, just let them know I have the disorder and that is why I need to make so many notes for myself learning a new position for example. So when my brain is jumping around like crazy I have a visual reference to reorient with. I still get accused of playing the 'add' card. People get weird with a mental disorder. Like the brain is some sacred incorruptible organ, rather than a flesh and blood organ that can go wrong like a kidney or a heart or lung. Mental health really is just another form of physical health at the end of the day, something has gone wrong in an organ, and we have stigmatized it to be something else so we can blame victims instead of helping them it feels like sometimes. You can't find a solution or treatment for an illness wtihout understanding the illness, adn it's causes.
  5. Every time I think I'm figuring out the changes in my body with age, most of which no one ever talked about in my family, something else goes weird. I'm not talking the "falling apart, unable to live" state like my mom, but the constant parade of guessing how food is going to affect me, sleeping patterns, how easily I injure/bruise myself, changes in the rhythms of my asthma making it harder to predict after I'd had it down to a science, acid reflux crazy, little things that add up to both a medicine cabinet full of things (antacids, gas pills, throat pain suckers since I dehydrate at a moment's whim of my body now, things like that, prescription medically our lifestyle changes are reducing that amount at least). But we really should come with individualized manuals, this trial and error nonsense sucks. The manual should include actual nutrition too. Our culture has so obscured what healthy food is it's crazy. And most people trying to eat well are unintentially eating unhealthy in a variety of ways because packaging and manufactures are allowed to lie and obscure a lot from us. It's even worse in other countries, china has a crisis of a variety of fake food facing them. Our crisis is fillers and additives. One of the many things Trump defunded was an initiative to make manufacturers list how much sugar they ADD to the food. *headdesk* And, on a note of pure curiousity and interest, I want a manual that tells me how the parts actually work. So I can look up any organ and see what it's doing, how it does it, interesting facts. I know I have the internet, but one all collated and at hand would be fun. I know, I have a weird sense of fun. I'm off, I took a temp job to earn the money for movers, so we don't have to slog with a uhaul this move once house sells.
  6. Briannah

    New Rule Allows Discrimination

    Wow, I must never try to type from my phone again. *facepalm*
  7. Briannah

    New Rule Allows Discrimination

    OMG Nikki just told mr that poir womam wasmt even Irush she was just visiting. Be careful where you vacation lestvit cost you your life I guess from something preventable i huess is that moral. I wonder if a trans doctor refused to care for an anti-lgbt patient if they would also find protection under this law i somehow doubt it
  8. Briannah

    New Rule Allows Discrimination

    This is going to spiral out into all areas of medicine I think. What happens when a 'true christian' is required to treat what they perceive as a terrorist, just because he or she happens to be Muslim? What about atheists? This issue is so broad I imagine a LOT of nightmares are going to happen. Or cancer patients who want to choose their life and be their for their existing families when a pregnancy will kill them? How will this affect plastic surgeries when there is a wide group of vocal people that 'god makes no mistakes, and man has not right to meddles with his choices'? I dont' think they really considered the ramifications of this. An example of morality not belonging in medicine off the top of my head: the Ireland case where the woman was in full miscarriage, there was NO saving the fetus medically no matter what they did, they refused to perform an abortion because it was illegal and against the countries morals, and she died from septicemia from having the dead fetus in her.
  9. Briannah

    Happy Birthday Monica!!!

    Happy birthday Monica! You are a lovely person to chat with, and I hope your birthday is absolutely awesome!
  10. Briannah

    There be hope here!

    I hope yours turns out as well! And that the getting it ready is as painless as possible! It's the first time I ever sold a house, so... it was a wee bit overwhelming. I don't do well with first time situations. Summer is a great time in my neighborhood too, you get the college kids whose parents realize buying a house for four years is acdtually cheaper than the dorms at the local SERIOUSLY overpriced university.
  11. Briannah

    There be hope here!

    So realtor lady after breaking the news gently that we'd missed the pricing bubble and our house was worth less than we hoped, said that we would know if she'd set the right price point, should have at least one showing a week. So we set it, and our first week is now over (went up Monday). We've had three. No ​offers yet, but I think I would be really surprised if my house sold in five days or less. But I really want it to sell asap. But that's good news, people are taking the time to go look at it, not just looking at it online. I really need this to go smoothly and fast, I need to move outta here and get back in my own space. With my things. Girl time for Nikki, he can't exactly do that here. Alone time for me. Logic and reason ruling the house again. And my poor cat is frazzled, she's always trying to pet him. She's a cat person. But my cat is a one human cat, he only really wants to interact with me. He'll tolerate Nikki's attentions, but he only really wants attention from Nikki he's angry and punishing me, he's always been like that since a kitten. Didnt' want my son, Nikki, or even his sister to mess with him, only me. So he's really not happy right now. Poor little guy. Lizard, as ever, is chill and doesnt' care what is going on as long as she gets her food and heat. Dog ​is happy that she's literally never alone right now. Nikki's dealing better than me, but he gets more time outta the house, although I do have a part time job now for either a month or indefinitely, I'm so confused and different people keep telling me different things. I'm sorta worried it's gonna last eleven years, since the last time I accepted a brief temp job through nepotism it did just that. I actually temped for Nikki, and did so well at it that other people in the office asked me to come in for them, which lead to three days a week starting this week. I sorta hope it's just the month, so that i can re-earn my savings to pay movers (the rains came, flooded, and broke the furnace and it ate up my movers fund). If it's longer, I'll take it of course and do my best, to reflect well on Nikki, but dang I liked my happy vagrant housewife life. LOL
  12. Briannah


    The younger set wear a lot of padded and shaping bras. You don't see very many of this demographic using forms, as most of them can't afford the really good cosmetic ones (and I have seen REALLY GOOD ones, but they cost nearly a thousand: there is dissention here, Nikki says apiece I thought it was for the set) and tend to wear clothing that would show it a little on the top and sometimes sides. One that spans all age demographics that I know of is the chicken cutlets, those little silicone pad things that even you out. One of the many things they don't tell us about our physical development, very few women are actually truly symmetrical(although I think most are close enough it's not an issue). Quite a few are so asymmetrical that we have two separate cup sizes, and it can be awkward since for whatever reason the manufacturing industry of bras refuses to deal with this reality. Jerks. You'd think it wouldn't be that hard to make ribcage sized harnesses with eyelet hooks and separate cups so each woman can get what's needed. I vary with c and d, but I know one woman who has a b and d, and due to other medical issues is not a candidate for either implant or reduction surgery. So I learned that it could be worse, don't complain. LOL I imagine this would also be a thing for some transwomen as genetics does their unpredictable things.​ However, my understanding of the breast forms origin is for the ugly issue of breast cancer and removal of one or both breasts. And quite a few people of all genders fall prone to that ugly disease. And society unfortunately judges women by the size of our chests still, and removing them entirely was socially traumatic on top of the physical and emotional trauma. So there are unfortunately MANY cisgender women sport them for that purpose. The numbers are slowly going down thankfully, as early detection, advances in medication, and lumpectomy surgeries become reliable alternatives to mastectomy surgery with equal survival rates, at least among those with breasts, as those without often don't detect it early enough. Some find emotional comfort in not seeing a reminder in the mirror, others find social relief by not looking dramatically different in public. Although several do the cloth forms for the same reason Emma spoke of, either early after the surgery during the healing process, or permanently if the scars are sensitive. There are a scattered few I know of that use the forms that give you one extra size and fit over your breast, but without exception the ones I know are extremely vain and unable to afford implants, as it's quite hot and uncomfortable to wear them around the breast. I have to wrap my equalizer cutlet in cloth, or I get a nasty skin rash from it personally. Nikki once asked if I'd be willing to play around with them for fun time, and I was like NOPE, not getting massive rashes for that. Wisely dropped the issue. Nikki is fortunate that the irritation and heat doesn't do much to his skin beyond somewhat irritating sweat that can just be wiped away as needed, and can use them for long periods when girl mode lasts a while. If he had my skin, it would be truly ugly. He prefers the forms for the sense of weight in addition to the shape I believe. And I think he likes that i can use them to prop my head up when we're watching a movie, more realistic feel than a cloth set that would just sorta go down like pillows if I tried that. When he's in girl mode I still go outta my way to physically interact like I did when I was dating women for the small moments, and I don't think that would work with cloth, so another reason I'm glad he can use forms, he gets more outta it. Sometimes I think I go overboard trying to hard, but he says it makes him happy, so I'm not gonna get an Emmy, but I have a happy spouse. I wonder if some of the cancer victims also find that comforting? I'm not sure how I would feel about it if I ever pop a positive on that and it becomes an issue. I suspect it would be cloth forms for me due to my overly irritable skin. I'm also not sure how well I would adjust to a massive physical change like that, I'm clumsy. Even being on crutches when I twisted my knee and bound around my waist so I couldn't bend after abdominal was dramatically crazy for me until I healed, I injured myself and Nikki in the goofiest ways trying to adapt. I do know a girl who had a double, and she loves it(had massive back issues, and was considering reduction once she'd saved enough), but she did tell me there was a balance learning curve after the surgery.
  13. Briannah

    Progress I guess.

    Update: It was really weird seeing my house listed. But now the actual reality of it selling has started, so here's hoping this part goes quickly and peacefully.
  14. Briannah

    Progress I guess.

    I have to admit, after just trying to find space in the fridge around hoarder mom's stuff that she forgets she buys and doesn't eat, this part going quickly has an appeal both in the Band-Aid take my home fast sense and the OMG MY OWN FRIDGE AGAIN! We changed our entire diet too. We've been pretty firmly on the DASH diet eating plans, and at least relearning how to cook has given me something to do. And a sense of moral superiority because I'm doing something other than sitting around complaining of aches and pains and the costs of medication. X_X
  15. Briannah

    Progress I guess.

    ​It's done. By end of day tomorrow, my home will be listed. It's a bunch of mix feelings, this is what is holding us back from moving forward, but it was MY HOME for eleven years, second longest I have lived anywhere, and longest Nikki has ever. I'm not surprised, I have learned I really hate endings of any kind, even when they are what I wanted. So...now we are in the next phase, and this one sorta sucks. There is nothing more I can do, it's just waiting until someone decides they want the house enough to pay us. Meh. I will give it this, MUCH easier paperwork wise to sell a house than buy one. I asked ​the realtor what paperwork we needed to gather to bring to closing, and apparently nothing. Title agency does all that for us, we just have to show up, sign our name six times (as apposed to what felt like six hundred at closing to buy) and we're done. No 80 millions trips all over town trying to gather things and turn them into the bank. Of course, then we have to go through the buying process again. Yay.