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Those who know me may say I am way out there. You know ,........'' There right !'' I have to share this worldly thought since it is so close to Earth Day........ We the transgender are in a driving movement to express to the world that we are real & that we belong. We make up about 1% of the population . Maybe a little more or maybe a little less. My crazy thought is that even to know we are a small group of the world , the people of earth will eventually look to us for leadership & salvation. '' Save the people of the world ! '' '' Pamala you are really crazy!'' All I will say to this right now is. Those of you who are transgender & want to express yourself other than what you were born with. I am asking to you to look deeply further within yourself. Look to the ethical humanity , the high intellect, the ability to see what others seem not to see or understand. '' We are evolutionary peaceful lovers! '' Our future may be more than making the people of the world except us. We may have the moral obligation to change the culture of the world, and be the most adaptable appropriate species ever known.......... '' A Transgender Loving Humane Being.'' capable of showing the world it is time to love for peace than to fight for peace.

Hi everyone, So I just recently discovered this site, and since my transition is still relatively new I thought a blog would be a good idea - to keep track of things for myself and see what others might have to offer I guess I'll use this entry for a little background. My transition began in earnest about a year and a half ago (it was sometime in the summer of 2013). I started with cross-dressing and discovered quickly that every time I took a step thinking it was for reason "A" it turned out it was really for reason "B." With cross-dressing, I thought I was doing it for sexual/fetish reasons, but very quickly realized that wasn't my reason at all. The first bit of evidence that I recall is that the first time I shopped for clothes (on Venus.com) I went in thinking I was looking for "hook-up" clothing - when my order arrived a few days later I found that I hadn't ordered anything like that at all - what I got was arguably cute and flirty, but not hook-up. So that called into question my reason for cross-dressing. Even then, it seemed like cross-dressing was just it's own thing - I started doing it at home, and then eventually got up the guts to get dressed at home and actually go out! But still, at that point when I was a boy I was a boy, when I was a girl, I was a girl. The first break in that was my JLo bag from Kohl's (my favorite brand/store combo!). I bought it for cross-dressing as I needed a bigger bag so that I could carry a change of shoes. But almost immediately I started using it every day, boy or girl. Not the boldest, most obvious "statement," but it was a start, it was the first item of clothing/accessory that I used either way. Now I'm at point where I'm "feminizing" as much as possible - but it's really my thought process that's become more important. I'm hung up a bit on the question of what this - what being transgender - means to me? More later - thanks for reading!!!!

One of my goals as mentioned in prior post and blog entries is to share my journey which hopefully contains decent information for others travelling down the same path. Thought it would be great to attend local group sessions to share my journey too but have not as most groups in the area are 30 to 50 miles away and are on week nights so that does not cut it for my schedule. Today I get an email from my therapist writing to ask if I would sit down with one of her clients who lives in my area living full time as a female. Seems she is at a loss for people to talk to and thought I would be perfect for talking to her as she is in a state which would be helpful for someone like me to talk with, listen and give advice too.

Emma, Definitely go for it with the shoes! I kind of do that, I wear a lot of women's shoes, but they're running shoes, so it may or may not be obvious (I might also be skewed in terms of knowing what "obvious" is). I get a lot of my shoes at Payless, they have an excellent selection in my size (11). I think my next challenge is at the gym - I have several pairs of yoga pants, and pink work-out top that I want to wear there. I go very early, so it's minimal exposure, but a start. xoxo Christie

I love the picture of the mossy mound styled as a woman. That's beautiful.

I slipped out of my grief last night after engrossing myself in several activities and talking to my daughter's best friend. I am sure it will happen again and that is okay for too feel nothing would bother me even more.

Bon Voyage! It's both difficult at times, and so rewarding and amazing at other times. Hope all goes well for you, Cheers, Eve

Thanks Veronica

Dear Lisa, Rejoice when I see a woman take such good care of her mother, and stays in touch with her sister. Have three brothers and a half brother. Have no sisters. Have no children. Wonder how my life could have been different have I had children or a sister. Of course, it could be heartbreaking. They will be losing a son and a brother, but gaining a daughter and a sister! May God bless your family! Your friend, Monica

I agree with Karen on all counts. Especially with best wishes on your wife providing support. I don't recall how much you have already told her; I assume this won't be a total surprise. The advice I hear over and over again is to be patient and kind with her. Show her that you are the one she fell in love with regardless of your gender, and that as you start your transition you are even more calm, supportive, and interested in what's going on for her than you were before. After all, you've been aware of your gender issues for a very long time and you need to give her time to catch up. Hugs, Emma

Pamala, also love the image of the Superwomen!

Hi Christie, It's great to see your new blog; like everyone here, I encourage you to keep writing. It's wonderful to have new members! I'm also trying to figure out where I'll end up in my transgender journey, and also fairly shy about what I show to the outside world. A month ago when I attended a local (monthly) therapist-led transgender support group I wore a new pair of flats (black) that I'd ordered on Amazon. Woo hoo! They liked them fine, but I chickened out when, after the meeting, several of us went out for dinner. In the car, I changed my shoes. This Thursday is the next meeting and I intend to wear the flats again, and this time, wear them to dinner too. Also, I have a new rather androgynous long-sleeved top that I'm going to wear. Why not? I am what I am, which happens to be transgender. I'm a nice person and deserve to feel good about myself especially when out with friends. See you! Emma

I have been really feeling vulnerable and as a result emotional. I cried several times today. I've been having a two-fold problem in Facebook. One I have guys constantly wanting me to add them. And then guys messaging me for sex, sex cams, etc. It is ridiculous. Then I have had a few non-trans people make negative comments, either on Facebook or in person. I've been called a freak, man-in-a-dress, dude. It used to never bother me, but I think because I am close to transitioning, it is really bothering me. Also, I've read a lot of articles and I see how a few spoken words by someone prominent in the media can ruin many people's lives. Language can be a powerful thing and we all know that it is easier to tear someone down instead of building them up. An example was Pat Robertson telling his followers not to go to their sons or daughters same sex wedding. Who does something like that? Surely not a man of God. Yet, his followers will hear this as if it came from the heavens themselves. Can you imagine what kind of impact those words will have. I'll bet that hundreds if not thousands of people's lives will be negatively affected because it. It is horrible. And the same thing is true about non-trans folks and their name calling of trans folks. Freak, fag, dude, tranny ... even drag queen. I've been called all of those things (I don't mind drag queen as much though ... but I still correct people). But say that to a 15 year old who is thinking of coming out or transitioning. Think of how horrible that is. Or threats of violence towards trans people. This is the real world that we live in and the consequences. I digress. I've been feeling absolutely terrible to the point of tears because I feel totally wrong right now. And changing it is not going to be easy. Though all of you know that! I also want to mention that a dear friend of the community, Lauren Tenent passed away yesterday. She was the president of TGEA and had an extremely positive impact on everyone. I did not know Lauren very well because I just started engaging again in the community over the last couple of years. However, I remember talking with her back in July at a party for two hours, just getting to know her. She made everyone feel like they mattered and was a wonderful, loving person. Anyways, everyone have a good weekend. Take care. Love, Lisa

My Dear Friends, I had a nightmare childhood, and I am grateful I have found reconciliation with both my parents before they died. Sadly, although things have improved with my brothers (I have no sisters), we have a long ways to go. Eve, as for Guardian Angels, I believe they are REAL, and that the average person has not only one, but THREE! They never sleep and ALWAYS are alert, even when we sleep!! Your friend, Monica

Every now and then, people have to stop and breathe and realize that things they were planning and hoping for...need to wait. It's a depressing and saddening experience, but it's one that we all must have at least once every few miles. Sort of like getting the oil changed in your car, you have to take the time to stop and refresh your fuels and reset your priorities. For me, its the surgery. I know I NEED it to help ease my mind, and make me more comfortable in my own flesh, but I know it's not happening any time soon. As much as I wanted to spend my summer shirtless and enjoying the sun and the cool breeze on my shoulders, I know it's not going to happen. I dont have the funds for it, and I probably wont this year at all. The gofundme account I have up, though I'm blessed that a few have donated so far, I have a feeling wont get me too far. I'm not looking forward to the dreadful heat of wearing a compression shirt, binder AND sports bra under my t-shirt or work shirt this summer....but I'll have to deal with it. It wont go away, and I refuse to wear a bra. Hell even with a bra, I was dying of heat. I cannot imagine the torment that this summer will bring me, as we've been promised an insanely hot summer this year. Swimming is no longer in my pool of options, as I refuse to wear a girl's swimsuit, and there are no swimmers binders for my bust size that will stay on properly. I try not to get upset about it, but I know the truth and it sucks. The good news is my boss has finally decided to grow some nads and started to call me Warren, as he should have done a long time ago. Also I were asked to help host a "Transgender Visability Day" at my place of work, and have talked to the bakery chef about making a Transgender themed cake. I'll take a picture and show it to you guys when it happens, I believe on tuesday. I just felt like ranting and stuff, since it's one of my days off and I'm sitting here like a slug. If anyone feels like taking a peek at my gofundme thingie, its on my profile as my status. Have a ball. Lots of love and snuggles and all that cheesy stuff, Warren

Last weekend I visited my mom for four days in Ohio. I have been trying to visit her at least once a month or every other month since my father passed away. It had been over two months since my last visit, so it was somewhat overdue. During my last visit, I told her that I thought that I would need to transition. This last visit I told her that I am planning on taking hormones soon and hair removal. She was a little surprised, accepting but trying to understand why I was doing this. One of her first questions was, "are you sure that you really want to do this?" and "have you thought this through?". I told her that I've been thinking about it for my entire life. The other question she asked was "why now?". I told her that I've been coping with this since I was 4 years old, but a lot of the techniques that I use to cope are not working any more or not working well. She also asked me if it was possible that this has something to do with my dad dying, and I told her that it was possible, though I didn't start having a crisis until about 6 months after he passed away. Anyways, it was a good visit. She and my sister both support me. That helps so much! I still need to discuss this with my wife though. I really have not had a chance to talk since I returned home. I hope that I will get a chance today or tomorrow. I think that I am going to schedule my appointment this Monday for the endocrinologist and to start the laser removal. My therapist will send a letter to recommend me for hormones. I am fair skinned, have mostly black hair, so I should do okay. I'll have to get electrolysis to remove the remaining white hairs. I am hopeful that insurance will pay for the endo appointment and the blood tests. I hope that everyone has had a good week. Love, Lisa

Karen, I read this after what TJDavies wrote in the shout box yesterday, 28th about his Dad bringing him some grub. I understand about missing someone who is beyond the veil between they're days and ours. I miss my brother "Rocky" and I never met him. My Mom who is with him now used to tell me he was my guardian Angel. I can only say this. That your Sister was lucky to have someone who cared about her so much. I think that the Karen I have come to know, was luckyto have a Sister, period. I am glad I have and had them. I also think your Sister wouls agree with me, tha having Karen in her life, made it a better life. That they still speak to us and influence us from beyond the veil is perfectly natural for me to accept. One the thing about having family members descend from native American culture, they know the way home. Also, that when dealing with grief, I have found that it may leave me alone from time to time, but it never actually leaves. I wouldn't want it any other way. Shedding a tear over someone I love is never a tear wasted. HUGE HUgs! Veronica Beta.

I am so happy that your mother and sister are supportive to the beginnings of the life you are on a journey too. It is so much better having core support when travelling down this path. Best wishes on your wife being supportive.

Dear Lisa, I do wish you the very best with your wife. No doubt your decision will be hard for her and therefore, for you as well. The main advice I've heard is to try to be as patient and understanding as you can be with her. After all, your gender concerns and thoughts have been with you (probably in lots of forms and worries) for most of your life. She needs time and support to process all of this. Hugs for you both, Emma

Thank you everyone for the kind words. I am feeling much better now, even though I feel totally wrong about my body. I did update my privacy settings on FB again. I am going to need to get moving on seeing the endocrinologist and hormones. I am also going to need to update my wife. I am sure that this is going to really upset her, even though I told her in January that I was most likely going to need to do this. Wish me blessings (or luck!) Thank you all so very much, Love, Lisa

Hey Lisa:) Sorry to hear that things have gotten to you today. I had one of those days not too long ago and wrote a long blog entry about it. It's definitely good to get it out. Some people just try to make themselves feel better by making others feel bad. The ones that get really mean have the biggest issues. I had one guy reply to a comment I made on youtube, telling me that he hopes that I will die soon. The sex creeps just seem to be everywhere online. That's the reason I've deleted most of my accounts on transgender social sites. You can limit who can send you messages and friend requests on Facebook, but there's no way to stop all of the unwelcome requests. There's a lot of support out there though, try to focus on friends and our amazing community when it gets bad. Just remember to kill them with a smile:) It's like Taylor Swift says: Cause the players gonna play, play, play And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate Baby I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake Shake it off, shake it off:))) Also Lisa, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Feel better soon! Kristi

It is ashame people have to be this why towards their fellow mankind/womankind. I truly hope the days to come do not weight heavy on you because of these people. This might be the perfect time to have some cheese, chocolate and wine while watching a good movie to erase the troubles of the day.

Dear Lisa, Am very sorry for your bad experience. Please realize you are not alone. Have left Facebook (FB) and Twitter, for exactly the same thing. They say you can control access to your account, but I feel that control is very limited. Really don't miss it. Keep my posts on a tightly moderated website, such as this one. That way, I have the support without the hassle! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Lisa, I feel saddened myself to hear your story. I wish I could take it all away but we know that it is almost to be expected and dealt with. But that doesn't make it any easier. Here you have friends that support you always, no matter what. Pound out your frustrations and hurts onto your keyboard. Try to let it go. But overall you must be careful. There are hateful people out there who might do you harm. I know you know that but it needed to be said. I wish you the very best and a wonderful weekend too. And my condolences for the loss of Lauren. I'll bet you would love to be able to cry on her shoulder now. Hugs and hugs, Emma