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Yesterday afternoon a rental RV pulled in to the campground space adjacent to mine. I didn't take much notice of it. I glanced there occasionally and was surprised to find that the couple were sitting in the cab of the truck. Kind of odd since the first thing one does is connect up the water, electricity, and waste disposal. I made my dinner and while cooking my pork chop decided to ask them if all was alright. Maybe they were unfamiliar with what to do and embarrassed to ask? After eating my chop (which was delicious!) I headed over there. The man was in the cab, the woman no where to be seen. He popped out and I explained that I noticed them in the cab and was just checking to see if they needed any help. He was very friendly, in his 60s I think, and said it was just a comfortable place to sit and update his Facebook while keeping an eye on his own BBQ. His girlfriend then came out too, very big blond hair, friendly. I learned that they are from North Carolina, very small towns (about 2,000 people) near Raleigh, heading to Frisco (please, please, don't ever say that. It's San Francisco) today I think. We separated back to our RVs and the evening. Last night I considered which side of the bathroom bill they are on. My guess is that they are on the trans-phobic side as they also made a small sleight about a minority. So now I'm wondering if I should venture there again this morning and ask them about the bathroom bill. And if they are for the discrimination ask them what concerns them. And regardless, then tell them that I'm transgender, and assure them that while in male mode (which they see me now) neither I or anyone I know who is trans would even consider entering a women's washroom. I could do it, sure. But I'm scared to think what might happen. Probably nothing physical, but emotional? Do I want to deal with that? Anyway, I left my copy of Janet Mock's book "Redefining Realness" in the campground book exchange area. Maybe someone will read it and learn something. I hope so. P.S. That couple left the park while I was in the laundry room, so they were unaware of their neighbor, the transwoman. I suppose I'll always wish I'd gone ahead and broached the subject with them. Who knows, we might have had a nice chat over a glass of wine. Given the same circumstances that's what I plan to do the next time. Live and learn.

Dear Friends, Thank you for responding. Where I live it is hard to find/make friends. As one acquaintance recently told me, in the northeast, it is "dog eat dog." Grew up hearing my own mother say the same thing. Since moving to upstate New York, I have learned how right my mother was in saying the things she said (I grew up here). Definitely plan on being very honest UP FRONT about this, because I do not want anyone thinking I mislead them. Probably I am not in the place where I belong. Not one to live a lie. Will let you all know how it turns out! Thank you very much for reaching out to me. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Friends, Did not like the proviso Emma's friend put on their "tolerance," which was if Emma was a Trump supporter or, worse, she "came out." I, too, do not like the way Emma's friend emphasized "tolerance" as it implied that the friend was doing it only because it was the "politically correct" thing to do. Your friend, Monica

Today is – quite literally – the first full day of the rest of my life. Yesterday (on Easter Sunday) I left my wife (now, ex, which is hard to fathom), home (now hers), friends, and family, to venture out on a Hero’s Journey (if I do say so myself) to see what I find in my gender, life, and home. I woke this morning in my Minnie Winnie near Healdsburg, California at a KOA campground, figured out how to hook up the water and sewage to the coach, and cooked eggs and coffee for breakfast. The last couple of months have been very challenging and exhausting for both my wife and myself. I returned from my camping trip in early February to find that my wife had decided that we should divorce. She said that the reason is that while we are together it will be unforgivably impossible for me to truly discover and be myself, whether I need to transition, live publicly as a woman, or whatever. That, and for reasons she doesn’t understand herself (and feels guilty about) there is something about my being transgender that she finds very hard to accept. At first there was some anger and hurt feelings between us. She asked when I might leave (the earlier the better), we both worried about how we would settle our affairs, and I could not wait to simply drive away and move on. We found a divorce mediator, I created a spreadsheet that helped us try out different asset division models, we started to trust each other, and finally came to an agreement. She got a bit more than I did but that's the way it needed to be for her to keep the house. But I got my freedom in an enviable way that I have often dreamed of my entire life. Once that was worked out the rest of our time was mostly spend packing and provisioning my Winnie, unwinding our family finances, pushing through the myriad forms needed to file for divorce. We worked hand in hand still wearing our wedding rings. Our mediator and attorneys were amazed that a couple as caring of each other as us would even consider getting divorced. I’m deeply saddened now as I write this. I know she is too; we talked last night on the phone for 45 minutes. When I arrived at the campground yesterday I unpacked my Emma clothes into my closet and drawers; they’d been in boxes that my wife really prefers not to open. And now I consider what I want to do in the coming months. My plan is to head slowly north, through Oregon, Washington, British Columbia, to Alaska, for the summer, and then return south in time to miss the winter snow and rain, through Iowa (or Idaho, not sure), Utah, and Colorado. In each location I want to see what feels right and wrong about the place, and experience what’s available for trans people like me. For example, in Portland (Tigard, actually) and Seattle, are what I call “training wheel” services that provide help with dressing, make-up, and the rest, and opportunities to get out and feel what it’s like to be as female as I can be. I hope that through that and more I’ll learn more about where under the TG umbrella I’d like to be. But it’s not all about being transgender. I have my acoustic guitar, camera, bicycle, books, hiking boots, and paints. I want to exercise, eat well, and meditate on staying in the present, while pushing against my fears and boundaries that I have allowed to control me for the past six decades. And who knows, I might meet the next love of my life. I’m not looking but I’m open to it so long as it doesn’t happen too soon. And, my ex and I plan to stay in touch, and she may visit me in Seattle, Alaska, or both. We might even decide to get back together if I truly find that I don’t need to transition and she becomes comfortable with my true self, whatever that is. That’s about it for now. Stay tuned, there will be more! Love, Emma

Dear Friends, Emma, please let me know how Seattle and Portland are from a woman's point of view. Just to remind you all, we change COMPLETELY, physically and emotionally, DECADE by DECADE. So the person that Emma's wife fell in love with ten or more years ago is not the same person today. Also, Emma's partner is not the same person she was ten or more years ago than she is today. Only a lucky few grow in parallel for ten years or more. Our complex society makes it even harder! Your friend, Monica

Dear Emma, Tend to agree with Bree. Feel it is potentially dangerous. It is sad we have to filter our thoughts to control what comes out of our mouths according to a situation. Please remember that as a woman you must take greater care. Your friend, Monica

Excellent point, Bree - thank you. I agree that I'd not be pleased to have someone come on strong about anything, pretty much anytime. And maybe that's the issue, to ask if they'd like to talk about it. If not that would be perfectly okay with me - and it really would be. I'll certainly keep your advice in mind.

In my own personal dilemnas of this sort, I always ask myself "Would I be open and okay with these strangers coming over to me on vacation and bringing up this topic on the opposite side of my viewpoint?" and then usually go with my intenral response to the thought (and it's generally no, I don't want someone coming up to me on hot topics like religion or abortion for example on my vacation time wanting to educate me to their viewpoint). Things like this come up on a lot on the vacations Nikki and I like, large groups of people with varied veiwpoints and commentary, so I know why you want to.

Hiya Emma. I Am Here, My Darling, To Wish You Bon Voyage. It Is a Long Time, since I was on here, but, that Will Not be the case any more. Emma, I Am So Sorry, to hear about Your Divorce Honey. Emma, Your Marriage, is Not the Only One, whose Marriage has died. I Am Now Officially Separated. Also, I have been Fully; Full-Time; MtoF; Transitioning; for just 12 Day's Short of 2 Year's Now. I have Officially; Legally; Changed My Name, to Stephanie, in the Last 4 Month's. Emma, I Know, that You ARE travelling, all round the Country, with Winnie Minnie. Enjoy the Journey's. Emma Take Care Honey, And My Very Best Wishes, Big Hugs, With Lots Of Love, Stephanie. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Emma, I have not logged in for awhile until today and was surprised by your post. I am so sorry that you had to go through this. Yet at the same the love that you and wife showed each other is unparalleled. Just amazing! Be safe and well on your new journey. I am happy for you! <3 Lisa

Emma, I wish you all the happiness you can find on this journey! It's not an easy path, but it's well worth it and it seems like you've really thought through a lot and have a good vision of how to get started. Between that and the courage you've already demonstrated I have no doubt you'll find your authentic self. I also admire how you managed things with your wife. It was no doubt tempting at times just to leave (I say that from experience, having been married so many years ago), but you stayed and took care of what needed to be done. So add persistence to the strengths mentioned above :-) I'm looking forward to hearing about your travels - literal and personal :-) Xoxo Chrissy

Enjoy the grand adventure! I envy you that freedom to go wherever and do whatever! It sounds like a great grand adventure! If you ever make it around Ohio be sure to stop by and have dinner with us! ​ I'm glad that the worst is behind you and you have found peace with the changes in your life, and then excitement about what is to come next! *Hugs* May the road ahead bring you joy, laughter, and adventure! Beautiful photo in which you look ready to tackle the world! And I really really envy you the Minnie! Grandpa had a Minnie Winnie after he sold the pull behind Airstream, we had so much fun in that. : ) Mostly at Assateague Island and Indian Lake, but the where mattered less than the adventure. ​I miss that rv and all the silly fun we had in it.

Emma, I know I'm late to the game on this one - but first, I think your response was perfect, I think it's important to point out that there isn't a "choice" involved (except the "choice" to live authentically!). I also agree that "tolerance" is definitely NOT the goal. Personally, I think mutual acceptance and respect is what's generally called for in life - "acceptance" feels a little off too, but that's why I put the "mutual" in front of it. It's about accepting that people are different from each other in many, many ways, and we should accept that and respect everyone for who and what they are (within reason of course - I'll never accept or respect Trump). I would also consider that you probably have a much more nuanced understanding of what "tolerance" means than your friend - that may well have just been the first word to come to mind, and if they haven't been in a position where they were rejected for some part of their identity they might not fully appreciate the meaning. With friends I've always gone by motivation - as long as I know that they're being supportive, I don't take any incorrect terminology badly from them - though I do correct it! Has anything further happened with this friend since February? xoxo Chrissy