KarenPayne

I just did an update on my Wordpress blog for today if interested.

Have you talked to a therapist at all? That should be the first step when considering hormones.

So I arrive in San Francisco, love the hotel room, went out food shopping then downed to twos of A1 coffee (I tend to only drink water and coffee) and then thought, how will I get to the pre-surgery appointment tomorrow morning? Open the phone book to Taxi cab companies, there are about 20 WHAT. I call one and they said, how can I help you ma'am? I told them what I needed in the morning but got a bad feeling so I thought why not ask the front desk to see which cab company they recommended. She says where are you going, gave her the address and said you do not need a taxi as you are from the Bower group. What time do you need to be there? Told her 8AM and booked me a ride. I then asked, how do I get back, they said call the number (gave me the hotel card) for the front desk and we will pick you up WOOHOO. Many people said I could get a room for about one third of the price and I said (but this is on trust) all facts given to me point to this hotel being in alignment with Marci's surgeries and from what has happen since I have arrived is even better. So for anyone using Marci, they give you many choices to stay but most have far less then this hotel and are not in tune with Marci.

I leave for California tomorrow early morning, arrive around noon, get picked up by a limo which takes me to my hotel (luggage arrived yesterday). See what I can explore, have dinner, watch some television than Monday morning at 9AM is my pre-surgery appointment, explore again during the day, dinner, crappy tasting poop all night meds. Tuesday get to the surgery center at 6AM for check-in, surgery at 7:30AM. Doubt very much I will be blogging on Tuesday but surely the next day. For anyone interested http://karenpayneblog.com Will be taking pictures of my new vagina every couple of days then once a week but not posting them here but will post them on a private FTP site for those who would care to see the progress over say the next six months. The address will be given out by anyone here sending me a private message. Oh, I will do a video via webcam this coming Friday for giving updates on my condition.

I think it is important to journal as I learned from others before me this way

Six days until surgery, feeling content right now. About the only thing that is a possible issue revolve around, did I bring everything I need? Anyways I plan on keeping a journal from arrival in California through out the time I am in California to the weeks following for recovery on the blog in my signature in hopes it will help anyone else following a similar path as me. Yes I know there are plenty of entries on the web for this but each story is somewhat different than the ones prior so this will be my experience.

Exactly, I feel the same way, three more days to go :-(

Your welcome, and aren't you glad it's not you :-)

I am getting my armpits waxed on Friday and was told to not shave to two weeks. I look under the arm and see a small forest and can not wait until it's gone, screw saving the forest, I want smooth and silky. Nuff said. BTW This is my first waxing.

So while checking mail tonight I get a message from a firearm forum saying While we doubt your guns are at the bottom of a lake, we did notice that it has been a while since you've visited us for sometime... So I decided to create a new account for Karen Payne. I was expecting to add a profile picture but somehow when I created the account it grabbed my picture for my Windows machine. I think a few of the guys there like me as I got an alert saying someone likes you for two members (something I would not expect from a firearm forum). This should be fun in that I have a male perspective and working on the female perspective which is not going to be hard since I teach firearms. Another day, another surprise!

While waiting for my friend (female) to get ready to leave for the movies her daughter came home, said Hello Karen, I heard your name change has been completed. I said the big thing for me was more of having a bank card with Karen Payne. She did not know I was changing my last name. I pulled out my new and former driver license, she compared pictures and said "I remember you then but you have changed drastically since then". She held both licenses for a minute shaking her head and then said, it's so hard picturing you are a male now. Her mother walked in who had overheard us talking and said, I agree with her, it is almost impossible to see you as your former self. The movie may have been too long but the compliments were perfect.

Thanks for sharing Emma, the way I see it you are trans* by all means, no question about it and I say that in a good way. And I enjoyed reading this blog entry. IMHO it is not the clothes, heaven forbid I am not one to put on makeup and fancy clothes to say to the world "Hey, I am female". My best friend is relentless in trying to get me to purchase very pretty outfits but I will not have that. I agree to somewhat that it's between "here" that indicates I should be female or I should be male dependent on the person but to me, it's in my head. There are days in the past year I went out to teach a class and wore the appropriate clothes and not even attempt to look female but yeah I did and that is just fine with me. In the end I am comfortable in jeans with my hair in a ponytail. PS I am not one for sitting in a group to hear myself chat with others but instead a willing participant to share knowledge that benefits the group.

Until present I have told two former girlfriends that I was transitioning and now have disclosed this just now to another one. The interesting thing is, each of these woman have stayed friends with me ranging from 14 years to eight years since we broke up. I am very fortunate to have these woman remain in my life. On a comical note, each of them want to go see me soon after I have recovered from surgery and also two of them want to take me out shopping for clothes while the other one has done this countless times with me already. One of the ladies has only communicated with me via phone calls and has not seen me during my transition. She said, I will be really mad if you look better than me when we meet again. No way that could happen, she is beautiful and a size 1. The woman I just told wants to meet up with me before I head off to California in a week, hopefully we will not get into any trouble as she lives life on the edge and we have done some crazy stuff in the past.

Good to hear you had a good time. In regards to not ready to talk with police, been there, felt the same and can attest that (at least here) the police are compassionate when you are honest and tell the truth. The key is to act naturally and it helps to be dressed no different than a female would be dressed for the same thing you are out for.

Wonderful news!!! It's so much better and important to have a professional fit you for a bra.

There is a new term out, trans* where the asterisk denotes what suits you best, so this can mean in your case "your version of transgender" which is great and my version is different from you and Emma is different from me and you. What is common is unity and special to what we are to the world.

Thanks for sharing with us Emma, and I really enjoyed the read, well spoken!!!!

One thing I truly do when there is a long process and I want to move forward I am like a freight train and do not stop until I get it. I hope what I write about here inspires others otherwise it's all for nothing as I am on the private side and only become public in the hopes of helping others and at the same time others can help me :-)

I thought backflips would be in order but did not happen. BUT seems it took a few minutes that while making coffee it hit me and I was bouncing up and down with a huge smile.

Just returned from obtaining my new driver license that has gender as Female with my new name then went to my bank, changed my debt card over to Karen Payne. Do I feel different, no but happy it's done Do I feel one step closer, heck yes. The two people at DMV were so nice too me Ended up not able to sleep very well last night and had a bad dream that from start to finish of the name change process I had spelled my last name wrong. Woke up and had to check my license to confirm I did not make the mistake. Update, just ordered return labels and business cards with my new name

I weigh the word in how it is used and who used it and if done in appropriate manner will either educate or walk away. The option to "walk away" is always an option for me considering my advance training in martial arts and firearm tactics along with being an instructor and if things get out of control I am held to a higher standard in a court of law then someone who does not have this training. Any ways thanks for bringing this up

I was concerned about my name change getting done on time as it has been 24 days since I started part two of the process and was suppose to be done in seven to ten days. Looked in the mail, nothing so I decided to head on down to the courthouse and see what was going on expecting to get a reply I was not looking for. Well I was surprised to learn it was slated to go out in the mail today. The two people work the desk pretty much got it done today and walked out as Karen Payne. Tomorrow my plan is to visit DMV to get a new drivers license so that I can now book my airfare for my trip in two weeks for GRS. Also had a meeting with my immediate team at work about my plans for GRS, all went extremely well. Tomorrow I come out to the section I work in then take the afternoon off for DMV.

Went to check the balance on my checking account two days ago and I found a charge that I did not recognize, called the bank and they are working on a resolution to get my money back. What I really like about my bank is, you walk in, tell them what happened then the cancel the card and create a new one on the spot. I am extremely diligent with my card and the only time the card is out of my seight is when purchasing gasoline (Oregon is you can not pump your own) so it has me wondering if that is the case or when I did a online purchase at Victoria's secrets last week. Hopefully the bank will track down who is responsible for this. Gets you thinking especially with all the hacking which has been going on recently

A female friend of mine told me in short when talking one day (I am in female mode at the time), "It's a mans world" so be prepared for this, things will change for you both good and bad.

Hello Tegan and welcome to the forum.