KarenPayne

Thanks for sharing Emma, the way I see it you are trans* by all means, no question about it and I say that in a good way. And I enjoyed reading this blog entry. IMHO it is not the clothes, heaven forbid I am not one to put on makeup and fancy clothes to say to the world "Hey, I am female". My best friend is relentless in trying to get me to purchase very pretty outfits but I will not have that. I agree to somewhat that it's between "here" that indicates I should be female or I should be male dependent on the person but to me, it's in my head. There are days in the past year I went out to teach a class and wore the appropriate clothes and not even attempt to look female but yeah I did and that is just fine with me. In the end I am comfortable in jeans with my hair in a ponytail. PS I am not one for sitting in a group to hear myself chat with others but instead a willing participant to share knowledge that benefits the group.

Until present I have told two former girlfriends that I was transitioning and now have disclosed this just now to another one. The interesting thing is, each of these woman have stayed friends with me ranging from 14 years to eight years since we broke up. I am very fortunate to have these woman remain in my life. On a comical note, each of them want to go see me soon after I have recovered from surgery and also two of them want to take me out shopping for clothes while the other one has done this countless times with me already. One of the ladies has only communicated with me via phone calls and has not seen me during my transition. She said, I will be really mad if you look better than me when we meet again. No way that could happen, she is beautiful and a size 1. The woman I just told wants to meet up with me before I head off to California in a week, hopefully we will not get into any trouble as she lives life on the edge and we have done some crazy stuff in the past.

Good to hear you had a good time. In regards to not ready to talk with police, been there, felt the same and can attest that (at least here) the police are compassionate when you are honest and tell the truth. The key is to act naturally and it helps to be dressed no different than a female would be dressed for the same thing you are out for.

Wonderful news!!! It's so much better and important to have a professional fit you for a bra.

There is a new term out, trans* where the asterisk denotes what suits you best, so this can mean in your case "your version of transgender" which is great and my version is different from you and Emma is different from me and you. What is common is unity and special to what we are to the world.

Thanks for sharing with us Emma, and I really enjoyed the read, well spoken!!!!

One thing I truly do when there is a long process and I want to move forward I am like a freight train and do not stop until I get it. I hope what I write about here inspires others otherwise it's all for nothing as I am on the private side and only become public in the hopes of helping others and at the same time others can help me :-)

I thought backflips would be in order but did not happen. BUT seems it took a few minutes that while making coffee it hit me and I was bouncing up and down with a huge smile.

Just returned from obtaining my new driver license that has gender as Female with my new name then went to my bank, changed my debt card over to Karen Payne. Do I feel different, no but happy it's done Do I feel one step closer, heck yes. The two people at DMV were so nice too me Ended up not able to sleep very well last night and had a bad dream that from start to finish of the name change process I had spelled my last name wrong. Woke up and had to check my license to confirm I did not make the mistake. Update, just ordered return labels and business cards with my new name

I weigh the word in how it is used and who used it and if done in appropriate manner will either educate or walk away. The option to "walk away" is always an option for me considering my advance training in martial arts and firearm tactics along with being an instructor and if things get out of control I am held to a higher standard in a court of law then someone who does not have this training. Any ways thanks for bringing this up

I was concerned about my name change getting done on time as it has been 24 days since I started part two of the process and was suppose to be done in seven to ten days. Looked in the mail, nothing so I decided to head on down to the courthouse and see what was going on expecting to get a reply I was not looking for. Well I was surprised to learn it was slated to go out in the mail today. The two people work the desk pretty much got it done today and walked out as Karen Payne. Tomorrow my plan is to visit DMV to get a new drivers license so that I can now book my airfare for my trip in two weeks for GRS. Also had a meeting with my immediate team at work about my plans for GRS, all went extremely well. Tomorrow I come out to the section I work in then take the afternoon off for DMV.

Went to check the balance on my checking account two days ago and I found a charge that I did not recognize, called the bank and they are working on a resolution to get my money back. What I really like about my bank is, you walk in, tell them what happened then the cancel the card and create a new one on the spot. I am extremely diligent with my card and the only time the card is out of my seight is when purchasing gasoline (Oregon is you can not pump your own) so it has me wondering if that is the case or when I did a online purchase at Victoria's secrets last week. Hopefully the bank will track down who is responsible for this. Gets you thinking especially with all the hacking which has been going on recently

A female friend of mine told me in short when talking one day (I am in female mode at the time), "It's a mans world" so be prepared for this, things will change for you both good and bad.

Hello Tegan and welcome to the forum.

Being it’s a new year a thought went through my head, I know what the monetary cost for preparing for surgery, actual surgery and after care but what is the cost over time? Well without going down to the penny I spent roughly $2,000 for a therapist, not enough to register for medications (insurance paid this), since 2000 spent roughly $4,000 for electrolysis, $7,000 on body enhancements. Now couple this with surgery and aftercare I figure a round number is $35.000. Let’s round this off to $50,000 and calculated this cost over the remainder of my life. I am currently 58 years old and at best would live to roughly 90 years old as I believe my genes are predominately my mother’s side of the family where the last three women averaged life is 95. Of course none of them smoked which I have but quitting but they did not have the better care of live available today so I am going to say I might live to 80 or 85. That comes to $3,200 ($266 per month) cost for the rest of my life which I feel is well worth it. Now with that said imagine you could pay for your transition this way. For some it is still unreachable which is sad. All who have considered to transition from male to female many times never take in the magnitude of the cost to transition. If I were doing this today at an early age I would (thinking I think like I do today) go to college, pick a profession that pays well and put my head to the grindstone to fund transitioning. Sure it is easy to say as there are many variables that could side track this but without a plan and goal all the wishing in the world will not make this happen but instead like many will fall asleep at night hoping to wake up in a female body is unrealistic as we all know this will not happen. Any ways with that said I don’t see the $266 spread out over time but instead the money spent put me where I should be and no amount of money can change this. When I made the final decision to transition I was focused like never before in my life, figured out what I needed to move forwarded and never looked back. Nothing like peace of mind.