KarenPayne

Christie, it's loads of fun and you know, there has to be drivers and passengers  

Thanks Michele  

Fingers crossed you will be approved for top surgery.

I've had stakers in the past and at least in my case that person did not have the characteristics of a stalker but she ended up being my very own stalker for about five years. 

When in doubt politely break the connection between you and the would-be stalker.

Hello Christie,

In regards to Social Security, not sure if the following fits the rules of your state or not but here in Oregon they will only change gender if the letter from the therapist is an approval letter for gender reassignment surgery and not a letter stating that the person is suffering from gender dysphoria..

Any ways congrats on what you have achieved woohoo. 

Hello Christie,

If your state is like mine the rule for DMV is to have not simply have a therapist letter but that the therapist is WPATH certified for the gender designator to change. 

I felt like a Karen so I selected Karen for that reason. My last name came from my students calling me the "Giver of Pain" (defensive tactics instructor) and from that came Payne.

In regards to arched brows, the eyes and brows can easily make or break someone looking to pass as a female and for that matter, anyone that has little or no brows can draw attention and question by others about that person while well groomed and shaped brows can do the exact opposite.

Thanks for sharing Eve, good to hear birth certificates can be changed now.

Eve, I am going to call her tonight as today I have a date with an old co-worker who is a looker. We met once a month and I am starting to think she is into me and I have always even as a male had sexual thoughts for her. 

I believe you have mentioned in passing about your love of boots before.

Good to here things are going better for you now.

Hello, I can sympathize with you on the first steps of going public full time and can tell you it does get easier as time passes to the point you will not even think about "do I look presentable", "am I walking correctly" or "is my voice proper".

In regards to eye-liner, had the same problem so I went and had permanent cosmetics done two years ago since then look great all the time. It's not cheap in regards to the cost but when you consider down the road there is no fuss in the mornings or touch-ups throughout the day it's well worth the cost.

Also, hormones, the longer you are on them the majority go through many changes that are usually small and seem unnoticed by you but wait and at some point people will tell you they see no similarities from say one year ago till present. 

I believe many here can sympathize with how you feel and is unfortunate that this happens. Myself like many others have travelled your path to one extent or another, some can deal with it while others can't and a cross road lays ahead where one path lies desperation and the other path which is usually difficult brings some semblance of relief or complete utopia. Should I take door number 1 or door number 2. And door number 2 can be very painful for the first few miles or the entire trip. I took door number 2 and never looked back while others have taken door number 2 and had partial or full regret.

My saving grace was that even though I was rudely given a male body with a female inside I could for 50 years adapt for about 90 percent of the time to be somewhat happy and even over joyed at times until the female cried out to escape which until recently I could control then she demanded let me out and I complied.    

Have you considered spending time with a therapist?

I believe the female puberty thing gets many of us and we learn as time passes by, I will admit I went through it and now look back and see it as part of my growth. Happy to hear your are on a joyful discovery now.

In regards to GRS and relationships concerning real gay men, I believe you are on the right track with your thoughts. One time I was in a situation where intercourse was an option where there were two gay men and myself post-op and one of them made advances at me to enter me, not my vagina but my backdoor which first and foremost I am against, just not my thing. The point is sexual-wise I could be with a gay man if I submitted but zero, nothing in regards to relationship as in this situation it was all about the sex, no connection. I know and experienced friendship with gay men but nothing there relationship wise. I would guess the same would be possibly be true with your situation also but than again one never knows. Any ways I cherish my gay friends no different than my non gay friends. 

In regards to you being a freak, I don't think so but instead have less options (no different than me) for relationships. Sex is easy to come by but true and meaningful relationships are few and far between for us.

About the only things I was covered for were doctor visits and drugs, everything else was out of pocket for me. There is better insurance which even covers surgery for those who make little to nothing while I am at the opposite end of the scale.

I paid 4USD for my meds each month. One thing that my doctor would be diligent about was me taking a baby aspirin each day once on HRT to be safe.

So happy to hear for the most part things are moving right along. Now is a good time to begin (if you haven't already) writing down places you need to change your name once you can officially do so along with documents needed such as birth certificates and figure out the order documents need to change, every state is slightly different, here is Oregon for example. I paid $107 for the process along with $5 for each copy I wanted as they are good to have as photo copies may not do the trick in some circumstances. 

In regards to breast sensations, get use to them as they will not go away anytime soon. Mine went away only after breast augmentation. On average breast size is determined by the cisgender female with the largest breast in your family then downsize a half or full size cup. My mother is a C cup, I went to a B cup then had breast augmentation to achieve a C cup.

Hopefully you are under the supervision of a doctor for the hormones, if not I highly suggest you do.

Congratulations!!!

In regards to the money spent on the tat, if this makes you happy then it's worth well over the cost for having it done and there is always time to begin to save again as you are still young.

Since my teenage years I always wore breast forms when out. Back then they were foam forms as I was not aware of anything better. Clothing, I wear the same thing cisgender females wore so that I would blend in, not call undue attention to myself. Since I got the tucking down pat I could wear tight jeans which I favor to present time.

Many who are cross dressers favor mini-skirts, pantyhoses and high heels which are in direct contradiction to what the average cisgender female wears yet I can understand the attraction to these garments and at all cost avoid them like the plague for casual outings.

If one is to go out as a female it is critical to first work on your female voice followed by covering up the five O'clock shadow and by all means work on mannerism of a cisgender female. I like many others did these things and will greatly increase your chances of not being made. 

Once on hormones and removal of facial hair begins one can concentrate more on voice and mannerism. I can not stress too much how important mannerism and voice is too becoming at ease when out. 

Looking good is one thing but being able to communicate with others is paramount else you will end up in one or more uncomfortable situations which makes it more difficult to go out again. The more you are out the easier it gets yet many have issues stepping out the front door, get into their car and enter the world we were comfortable as male now is a place where one turns white with fear because they have not practice the techniques and skills needed to be comfortable when out and if you are not comfortable others will pick up on you and focus on those vibes.

I honestly forget when the last time I was nervous going out, may be ten years ago but do remember prior to that time I was in the same boat as others and learned quickly that (as others have done) that it's a whole lot easier being out in stores and such where people would not recognize me.

When I was 18 I went to a store in the next town over, dressed no different than any other female. Walked into the store and everyone stared at me. I truly believed I was made until a sales person tapped on my shoulder and said something like "you can't smoke in here". I then realized when she addressed me as female and told me to put the cigarette out my heart slowed down and I spent quality time there. The funny thing is I still have a pair of underwear I purchased in that store on that trip, a reminder to myself I could do this.

Another memory was walking down the street over a long block where a man on a motorcycle kept circling the block and realized I was being watched and thought he had made me as a cross dresser and who knows what he wanted. Ended up at a stop light he asked if I wanted a ride. I was still learning my female voice but took my time to get it right and said something like I was not interested. As he rode off I called me a foxy lady, I of course grinned.

In both cases and similar cases I did it right clothes-wise, mannerism and voice while other times earlier in life I did not and saw that people wondered if I was a cross dresser or (and this did happen) people believing I was a tom-boy.

​Hi Eve, not sure why but when I just clicked the link I was taken to the right page.

Short and to the point "I am happy for you"