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About Emma

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  • Gender Female
  • Location Seattle
  • Interests Bicycling, learning new things, reading, playing fingerstyle guitar, camping, cooking, Petite Syrah, sharing experiences with friends.

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Emma's Activity

  1. Emma added a comment on a blog entry: Before and After   

    You look terrific!!! I wish I looked as nice as you!
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  2. Emma added a comment on a blog entry: Confidence   

    A problem is that there is nothing that will  complete the transition with a pill. I know what you mean: when I look in the mirror I’m not much different and certainly not like I’d like to be. 
    You definitely need to be careful and protect yourself. But that shouldn’t stop you from being yourself. If you’re a woman inside then that’s what you need to be... you.  Or maybe you’re non binary? That’s okay too and of course. 
    No matter what, don’t let some people dictate what is okay, what you should be. That’s what has caused so much grief among us. 
    Life begins and is worth living when we are true to ourselves.
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  3. Emma added a post in a topic: Trans and Cis   

    I agree Ellen. I get misgendered all the time. I think it’s because of my voice and clerks on autopilot don’t even think to consider how I’m presenting. Thus far I’ve been lucky that in general people around here seem to wake up when I politely and gently correct them. I do wish more people would just look a little more closely and recognize that either I should be addressed as a woman or at least ask me. 
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  4. Emma added a comment on a blog entry: Progress I guess.   

    Life changes like yours (new job, moving to a new location, selling your home) and all are so unsettling aren’t they? It has its excitement but it’s also like a bipolar roller coaster of emotions. I hope Nikki is giving you lots of warm hugs. You need them now more than ever.
    With virtual hugs,
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  5. Emma added a comment on a blog entry: Love and Violence   

    Good for you, to show her compassion and to help her with that bully. You’re quite right, we don’t need to be partners just to be friendly and human with each other. Nothing may come of it but then again, everything might come of it. We never know about kindness. Regardless it’s wndeful to share and makes everyone around you feel better. 
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  6. Emma added a comment on a blog entry: Clipped wings   

    Very good way to put it Kitrah, and sorry to hear this from you. I am going to suggest what Michael (UsernameOptional) once said to me: pound out your frustrations, hurts, and fears here. We have your back as much as we can. You are among compadres.
    Warm Hugs,
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  7. Emma added a post in a topic: Transgender Student’s Discrimination Suit Is Settled for $800,000   

    As I understand it that’s the reason they decided to settle. They worried that if it dragged on that his attorney fees would go well over $1M and it seems they knew they were fighting a losing battle. 
    It’s all quite sad, really. 
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  8. Emma added a post in a topic: Woman who founded trans beauty pageants becomes first known trans person killed in America this year   

    I agree Mike and as you say it is such a tragedy. Hopefully some good will come from her sacrifice. For example I'm glad not to find that the headline in the NYT doesn't add that she's the first trans woman to be murdered this year:
    Husband Charged With Killing Transgender Pageant Founder
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  9. Emma added a comment on a blog entry: 20,000 views   

    Yes, congratulations! I stopped wearing breast forms too for a couple of reasons. The first is that although at size C they are consistent with my body size they are likely much larger than what I'll grow naturally. If I grow to B's I'll be delighted. The other more pressing reason is that my breasts are very sensitive and sore at times; having those heavy breast forms on top of them was quite uncomfortable. So now I'm wearing padded B bras with a cloth-covered insert so they hold their shape. All in all much more comfortable. I have my next appt with my doctor in three weeks and based on my recent estradiol level blood test it's a safe bet she'll be increasing my estradiol dose. Yay! We'll then see if that gives them a kick-start into a higher gear!
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  10. Emma added a post in a topic: Transgender Student’s Discrimination Suit Is Settled for $800,000   

    I read some of the comments that local Kenoshans posted in their paper about him. It is frightful. I’d hate to live there or even go there. I also noted that his attorneys will get $650K out of the $800K which provides a measure of how much they fought and, as you say, but him through hell. 
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  11. Emma added a comment on a blog entry: I Don't Care Much for Myself Tonight   

    Thanks to Monica, Michelle, Dawn, and everyone,
    As I ran an errand to Lowe’s today I thought about how much better I feel today than some days ago and I can’t explain what’s different. In some ways with experience I feel less anxious about presenting as myself and that helps. Maybe it’s also that I’m making some new connections here locally. Perhaps also I am making slow progress on my house, yesterday re-hanging a bathroom door after refinishing, it looks awesome!! 
    Or maybe it’s partly due to my therapist’s suggestion that I keep a daily “Awe List” where I’m to record things that I stand in awe of each day. I’ve been doing that since last Wednesday. It’s fun to play that game of wanting to add things to the list. 
    I don’t know why but maybe it doesn’t matter: I’m feeling a lot better!
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  12. Emma added a post in a topic: "The Art of Passing"   

    Hey Ace!
    I agree that there is much more on TG Guide for transwomen than transmen. In no way is that intentional. It really comes down to members like you making posts and adding your experiences, insights, and all the rest to the site. Personally, I'd love to hear more from you and transmen. 
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  13. Emma added a comment on a blog entry: Starting Over   

    i like the way you think, you have remarkable clarity. 
    I had a lot of major changes last year too.  I feel okay now but sometimes I wonder how it will be. The last couple of weeks were pretty rough. 
    “What will be will be, the future’s not ours to see.”  
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  14. Emma added a comment on a blog entry: Moving Right Along   

    I'd like to add that you're lucky that you and your sales coordinator (manager?) have such a good relationship and that you value his help. Take advantage of that! Go out on joint sales calls as much he wants and you can. You'll learn a lot.
    Another idea: start keeping some sort of journal where you can jot down notes from your calls every day. I am sure you do this but I'm talking about another notebook where you gradually build up your own system to visualize each sales call, especially those that aren't successful, where success means that you think you have a chance at an eventual sale. 
    The reason is I say this is that long ago and in a faraway galaxy I was the first sales engineer hired to sell a new system for manufacturing printed circuit boards. Our system would optically scan the boards and (when it worked, it was a prototype when I started!) quickly identity flaws that saved the manufacturer lots of money. I was struggling big time. I was going door to door down through the list of companies who manufactured these boards and often got sort shrift from the GMs and owners. But then a man in our company who led our operations group wanted to take on a sales role to broaden his experience and eventually become a GM or executive himself. He did exactly what I'm suggesting to you now and quickly saw the commonalities about being rejected. Together (but mostly him) we developed a strategy that we had a blast with. We would call the prospect and say that all we needed was 60 seconds of his time (in a face to face meeting) to demonstrate on the back of an envelope how we could save him tens of thousands of dollars every year. We promised to set up a timer and if, at the end of the minute, he didn't want to continue, we'd shake hands and depart. Well, this really helped in two main ways: 1) We got the meeting, but more importantly 2) We had to boil down our benefits sufficiently into language he'd quickly grasp enough that he would want to learn more. I ended up selling way more machines than anyone else in our group!
    And I had fun, too. We turned it into a game to see if our assumptions on the meetings worked and when they didn't we refined our messaging and tactics. 
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  15. Emma added a post in a topic: NYT: "Learning to Talk Like a Woman (or Man)"   

    This is an interesting Times article from last Spring. I'm quite lucky to be working with Sandy Hirsch who is quoted in the article. 
    Learning to Talk Like a Woman (or Man)
    Sandy compares learning a feminine voice to learning a new language, like French. At first I didn't understand since for me most of my language study has been focused on learning vocabulary with nominal attention to pronunciation and accent. She speaks French like a native after spending years practicing all of the nuances of her accent and intonation.
    I've been seeing her weekly for the last four months and at this point she assures me that I have all of the tools for pitch, intonation, and resonance. Now we're are focusing on fluency and... confidence... which is sorely lacking. There is no timeline for when one graduates from her training and she hesitates to provide a date when we'll be "done." I'm assuming that by the end of February or March that I'll be on my own and maybe return to see her intermittently if I feel the need. 
    My friend Joanna Santos (who has a blog "Musings From My Everyday Life") often writes that she's comfortable and easily connects with other women as a woman - that her presentation and voice are about as good as it can be. She told me that she didn't work with a professional therapist to achieve her voice. Instead, she patiently and very regularly recorded herself at home and then worked on all the nuances she heard so she gradually improved. She is an accomplished amateur musician so I suppose she applied those study techniques to her voice work. Still, I'm a bit awe-struck.
    What I've learned is that achieving a recognizably feminine (or masculine) voice takes a fair amount of dedication and patience. Like so many things in life everyone needs to really consider how important it is to her or him.  And if it is important then get started practicing.
    There are a couple of apps we use on the iPhone (presumably also available on Android):
    Tuna Pitch: This one is very helpful for practicing the baseline pitch that you want to aim for that is comfortable for you. I believe it's typically either G3 or G#3 for people AMAB. The key is to hum the pitch with a light constriction of your lips and mouth.Voice Analyst: This one is so helpful as you can record your voice and see how the pitch varies vs. time. You want to be careful that you don't overuse it. It's a tool. But it does provide a visual illustration that you can follow on playback of your pitch and you can hear your resonance problems to work on. As a simple guideline, for AMAB you want to generally keep your pitch above 145Hz. I actually worked with the developer recently to provide bug reports and feedback on a new version he was creating. Voice Memos: This one may be iPhone only but I'm sure Android has something similar. This one is handy to just record yourself speaking longer phrases and sentences so you can play them back for critical listening. Wash, rinse, repeat!Good luck and have fun with it. 
    P.S. I don't recommending buying Sandy's book. It's quite expensive! I borrowed it from her several weeks ago even as she insisted that it was really targeted at voice therapists. I skimmed it expecting to find some nuggets of wisdom. I guess there were a few but in the end I returned it to her, thankful that I hadn't spent the cash.
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