“Hidden Figures” was terrific, wasn’t it? We watched it on Thanksgiving after dinner. Another that’s similar (at least for me) is “The Imitation Game.” About the holidays it is weird to be on our own. I was just on the phone with my soon to be ex-wife. We still care for each other and miss each other but we live almost 1,000 miles apart so we won’t see each other for Christmas. She has a friend to visit on Christmas Eve and another on Christmas. I suspect I’ll be alone with Miss Peanut, my cat. I think I’ll bake a turkey leg and thigh. I love the taste. Maybe crack open a bottle of wine and watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” but my wife suggests that I not do that since I tend to get misty eyed at that movie. I hope you enjoy your company’s party. I hated them! It’s all so stilted and odd, trying to socialize while also around wives and husbands who don’t really want to be there. And if you don’t show up, people notice, so you have to. At one company we had a catered Christmas lunch, which was only for employees and that was fun. We received lottery tickets based on donations we made to a local charity that we then used to “buy” prizes. And after, we took the afternoon off!
The weather is certainly brisk at times (it's 32 this morning according to iPhone) but I recall it was 50 when I was on my walk. I do tend to keep my hands in the pullover's pocket but overall, so long as I keep moving, I'm fine once I build up some warmth. Several days earlier it was in the low 40s and I wore a cap pulled down over my ears, a scarf, and a warmer jacket. The weather is one of the things I love here: I get to wear my cozy clothing!
People in Seattle take advantage of sunny/rain-free days and I'm no exception. I love walking from my house through a local park and then along Lake Washington for several miles. It's very large, with a total shoreline that's probably around 60-70 miles and of course I come no where near that. It's ringed with parks and walking/running paths and just lovely. Today I was talking with my wife (via phone) while walking. She's in California and has never seen me presenting authentically. She asked if I was wearing my "lady clothes" and I assured her that yes, that's what I always do. Today's no different. She asked me to have someone snap a photo and send it to her. So here it is: no makeup, hair's a mess, but it's me, very comfortable in my own skin. Wow, I just happened to notice that I joined TGGuide just over three years ago. What a long space trip it's been!
I hear you, Chrissy. I think GD's description should be broken down into several parts, before, during, and after transition (regardless of ones' definition of transition). My transition is going pretty well, I think largely due to living in an area that seems to bend over backwards to be welcoming and friendly. I'm much happier in my own skin these days. And yet, I still experience my own flavor of GD, like yesterday when I met with a woman who is a make-up professional for a consult. I'm quite sure she has her own challenges in life but I envy her... <big sigh>
Hi Frank, do you feel a need to come out to your family soon or before you see a therapist? If so, may I ask why? Coming out can be pretty challenging and fraught with emotions, for you and them. I suggest that you wait until you feel you’re on your own firm and solid ground emotionally.
Oh! You already have a blog! Good for you. Please see my response to your intro post. You’re absolutely correct, by the way, that it’s not your fault, nor is it a choice, a proclivity, or a lifestyle, to be transgender. The science is becoming clear: we are born this way, simply examples of normal human diversity. Nothing to be ashamed of, but I know all too well that can be easier said than believed. I’m 61 and lived in shame for about the last 60 years. No more though!
Outside sales is very hard, requiring a lot of self motivation and drive that most people don’t have or are afraid of. It sounds to me like you need to consider how well you qualified those prospects. If they don’t have or percieve the need then they aren’t qualified. And all too often, unqualified prospects may give the salesperson things to do instead of just being straightforward and telling them that they have no intention to buy. Why? Because they don’t like confrontation and they hate hurting you. So, at some point while qualifying the prospect it’s a fair question to ask: do they understand the need and want to address it? If not, see if you can understand why, and see if you can help. If it’s then still a no, then it’s time to thank them for their time and promise to follow up later, perhaps in six months. They will greatly appreciate your candor.
Well hey, Mikey, congratulations on your “M”! It’s well earned and I love your story too. Since I just got my WA license a few months ago, now I think I should’ve entered an F. I’ll bet having them enter your middle name instead of the initial is a real annoyance. Sorry about that. But now you’ve got your M and no one can take that away from you!
Please watch this video of Dr. Mark Yarhouse, who is a psychologist and a religious scholar. In this video his audience is comprised of church leaders. He does a terrific job of describing what gender dysphoria is and why people have trouble understanding. You might also ask your relatives to watch it. Better yet, watch it with them: https://youtu.be/CMqiD_4KslA
Hard to say as I don't know your face or beard. For me I've had good luck with a Gillette Mach III that seems to be able to reach into that tight spot and remove the hair cleanly. Two weeks ago my electrologist started working on my upper lip. She spent a lot of time clearing that area so now it's not a big deal at all. Important tip for electrolysis: the lip area is extremely sensitive. I am fortunate that she has a dentist office next door who (for $50) will inject novocaine to numb that area. The effectiveness of the novocaine was wonderful for about 75 minutes. The last 15 minutes of the 90 minute session were barely tolerable. I have another session this Friday... I'm both happy to have her work on it but also, I must say, getting ones beard removed is very hard to tolerate and pay for.
Yes, I fully understand the feeling of not belonging. I’ve not felt that way with men. It sucks, that feeling. Very self-conscious, trying to act a role that doesn’t quite fit. We both belong here and among our real friends who understand and love us authentically as our authentic selves.
It's high time for all of these pubs to give face time to trans men. As far as their not giving their due to trans women in the article I wasn't perturbed since the article was focused on men. I think it's much better known that trans women can experience quite a shock at how they are treated by society as women. Thus far I haven't felt it much since I never felt like I really filled the space as a man anyway. And I'm loving how nice women are in general to me. It's like being part of a sisterhood that I didn't know existed and I don't miss any brotherhood that simply doesn't exist, at least not at all in the same way. Did you also watch the video they have in the article (at the top)? I liked that, too. I'm envious that trans men seem to be able to blend into society (seemingly) much easier than trans women. If you've ever undergone electrolysis, man, you'd know what I mean. Oh, and then there is the voice work I'm doing! But I'm nonetheless pretty happy these days. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Hi Michelle, I'm glad you liked the list and will definitely look at your suggestions. My wife and I also read all three of the Girl with Dragon series and loved them! So sorry that the author is gone, now. I want to add "The Martian" to the list. It was a very good movie and an amazing book, especially for a first novel. That said, so is "The Kite Runner"! You must read them both if you haven't already. I've read Michael Connelly's books and enjoyed them but these days I'm less satisfied with "genre fiction" or maybe I'm getting more into "chick lit" go figure. I have enjoyed John Grisham's books but here again they're getting long in the tooth. I loved James Michener's books, especially "The Source" which is a classic as far as I'm concerned. No, I haven't gone to the movies for maybe a year. No one to go with and kinda busy... See you! Emma
Hi Michelle, Always happy to talk about books! Around my neighborhood are these little weather-proof glass-door kiosks where residents can leave books they're done with and pick up others that interest them. Yesterday I picked up "The September Society" by Charles Finch and I'm one chapter into it. It has many great blurbs on the front and back covers so I'm hopeful it will be a fun read. Some possible books that come to mind are: "House of Sand and Fog" It was turned into a movie that was excellent; the book is even better of course. "The Name of the Rose" Also a movie that wasn't so good but I've read it at least twice, I loved it so much. Unfortunately I've tried all of Umberto Eco's other books and was always disappointed. Some weeks ago I found a Seattle bookstore that's acclaimed for its mystery books. I went there to find "another" Name of the Rose. The owner told me that there is no other book as good as that one! "Girl With a Pearl Earring" Another movie! Excellent, excellent historical novel. "The Grapes of Wrath" and any other book by John Steinbeck. "Stranger in a Strange Land" is a very interesting sci-fi book and is where the word "grok" came from. "I Will Fear No Evil" - also by Heinlein has a trans character! "The Book Thief" was excellent. "The Eye of the Needle"... wow! "Flight of Passage" is a very fun autobiographical account of two NY boys who were the youngest to fly a plane from NY to California. Very fun read. "Rocket Boys" (aka "October Sky") is a wonderful autobiography about a high school boy who earns his way out of a dreary coal mining existence into a professional career. "Soul of a New Machine" and any other book by Tracy Kidder. Gosh, I'd better stop now. If you don't find what you're looking for here, please send genres or titles of books you've enjoyed that I can use to offer other ideas. Edit 1: Okay, here's some more: "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brene Brown. Really helped me, as all of her books have. "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron. You don't have to be an artist (but we all are) to enjoy her taking you by the hand. Doing your Morning Pages can be very cathartic. "The Road" Cormac McCarthy: very spooky and surreal view of the future. "Wild" and "Tiny Beautiful Things" by Cheryl Strayed. I'm a huge fan of her, including her podcasts. She is so wise and inspirational! Edit 2: Still more! "Lonesome Dove" What an amazing adventure. "Atlas Shrugged" "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience" "Man's Search for Meaning" Viktor Frankl: a must-read "The Hunt for Red October" "Red Storm Rising"