Significant Others

Hello , And WELCOME to the Newest Members of the Forum The Significant Others , I wanted to make a personal and Hopefully Helpful Starting point for those who are truelly Significan in our lives , so I am Adding this section For the Sole Purpose For the Significant Others To Meet one another . As You may have noticed this Forum and the other Forums are here for Learning , Growing , Understanding , And Supporting , and on occasion a great time of silly banter . I hope this becomes a large community of Loving and Supportive Members as well , we all find that we need a shoulder to cry on , an ear to listen to us when we have concerns , and a guiding answer to the Press…

This forum was started specifically for our significant others. Please feel free to invite your spouse, domestic partner or lover here to join our discussions. It could be interesting to see other points of view. I'm giving this forum a little extra publicity on our Twitter page as well as the home page of TGGuide. We can definitely use your help to spread the word! :)

I happened to hear part of this on the local NPR station this afternoon and was fortunate to find it on the web when I returned home. It's from the BBC (I think) and is a married couple, the man who is a crossdresser, his wife finds out, and how they handle it. It's lovely, I think: https://soundcloud.com/thirdcoast/re-sound-182-the-its You can listen to the specific story I'm referring to by clicking on the timeline (the upper portion) until the time readout at the left shows 15:20. It's over at 22:50.

This is a note from me to you, because I was you, and am slowly transitioning into a new life as Nikki is. I chose to make this work for both of us, but that doesn't mean you will. I think the things I learned will help people get their bearings when they are first starting the path of 'my spouse is gender varient, what do I do". I am not a doctor, just a girl who got hit with this in the middle of her life and has to figure things out as she goes. And...a few things I wanted to hear. These are just my experiences, but I feel like maybe I can help someone else by sharing them. - This is going to reorganize your entire understanding of your marriage. This will touch …

Here I am 58 yr old CD/TV who lives with his aging mother who has dementia and drinking problem and deep financial problems, trying to keep my wits and sanity while trying to dress up and meet others but life throws me a curve and have to attend to the financial matters more often.This makes my drive to dress up, I have to always come down from my upstairs room to either switch the TV mode to DVD or troubleshoot the remote control from the mute button which switches the TV to another mode which is a problem. My sanity is on trial, My brother is no help with him being out of state in Colorado. What am I supposed to do?

When J told me he wanted to become a she, I was at a loss for how to react to what he was telling me. As I believed us both to be heterosexual, it brought up many different thoughts ranging from "Is J gay?" "Who can I talk to for information and guidance in my situation?" to questioning my own sexuality and sexual preference, to "how would we be viewed by society?" and, probably the most uncertain.....the biggest question: "How was this going to effect our personal relationship?" I had so many questions!!! We had a number of challenges....there wasn't just one. But my greatest challenge came in finding information and support, and the journey I took to discover…

Hi everyone, I was pondering this question and wanted to hear some oppinions. I know I may get responses like "only you know your wife" but I just would like to hear some guesses or assumptions based on personal experiences or your own oppinions. This isn't my first time putting myself out there online about this sort of problem...it's my second time but my first experience seemed to be filled with negativity. Also a little warning I may need to talk a little about fetishes to give the full story. I guess some background is important: Ever since sophmore year in high school I started to identify as "wanting to be a girl, and a lesbian unfairly put in a man's body", no…

Found two great free websites with relationship quizzes that will give you insight into yourself and your partner or future partner. They are www.5lovelanguages.com and www.personalityassessor.com/relationshipwants. Took both of them and they were spot-on! They are brief, fun to take and easy to understand. Enjoy!!

How much of an affect do you think kids of Gf to FTM would take the news when they get older. Should they even know? If all they know is Daddy? Would like your opinions or experiences.

Although I do not intend on transitioning from male to female I do present as female most of the time and do consider myself as transgender. My wife goes through these moments where she is grieving the loss of the "man" she married even though I am not dead and have no intention of having my penis removed. Have any of you suffered through this same or similar issue? How did you cope with it? Before anyone asks, yes we are going to couples therapy.

My wife is a natural female and we were married legally as man and women... I am a Trans MTF we would like to renew our vows on our 10 year anniversary. I'd like to this time be dresses in my own Wedding Dress as in our last wedding i had to dress in a male attire because of conditions not needed now. I was asking what people thought because at this point family and friends are aware of the transgender and mostly accepting. I'm a large girl and just afraid of looking nice a 26w. i have found some nice dresses in that size online but now sure how dress places would allow a MTF coming in to try on dresses? Any advice? Thanks Missy

Hello, I'm Anichka. My husband of 26 years is going through the transition from male to female. She is on HRT and has legally changed her name. She wants to have the surgery. She has been out since January of this year, although we have known since January 2014. She told me back then, but I was so devastated that I cried for months so she tried to go back to dressing and acting like a man. I knew it wouldn't work, but I so wanted to believe that it would! So in January 2015 she told me that she just couldn't do it anymore and I told her that she should do whatever it is that she needed to do to be happy. More than anything I want her to be a happy, fulfilled perso…

Hello, I'm not really very good at this and am not overly confident in how I'm supposed to start. I'm a 44 year old female who just discovered her husband's gender confusion two weeks ago. He did not tell me, and in fact had actively misled me when I ran into things that made me ask earlier, so it was kind of really confusing for me and traumatic in that he had always insisted on openness and not doing my keeping people out to protect myself, and assured me I had the same. I had the anger phase about why he lied to me about it for so long, especially when I'd approached him in as non-threatening ways as i could, but I let that go as it's not helping anyone. I worked t…

www.transwhat.org is a website: "A Guide Towards Allyship" that provides an easily digestible summary of what transgender means, where it comes from, and what it's not (i.e., misconceptions), and some advice/guidance on being a Trans Ally. A friend sent the URL to me; I think it's very nicely done: http://transwhat.org/confused/

Recently, a hetero cisgender asked me the above question. I remembered questioning my relationship with J. As a hetero cisgender partner to a man who transitioned M2F, his transition caused me to question my own sexual preference. I struggled with societal views and judgments, and wondered how I would be perceived in the relationship if I stayed. I wondered what our sexual relationship would be like on the other side of J's transition. My comment to her question follows based on my own experience. If you are a heterosexual female, and "he" becomes "she" your sex life will change. You may find yourself in a lesbian sexual relationship. Do you wonder, like I did, th…

I remembered questioning my relationship with J. I am a hetero cisgender female, sharing my story with TG Guide members, and hope that you might find some support in your own situation from my post. Partner to J, a man who transitioned M2F,I found his coming out and then his transition caused me to question my own sexual preference. I struggled with societal views and judgments, and wondered how I would be perceived in the relationship if I stayed. I wondered what our sexual relationship would be like on the other side of J's transition M2F. If you are a heterosexual cisgender male, and "she" becomes "he" (F2M) your sex life will change. You may find yourself in…

Ok , Now that I have your attention : Lets get down to the nitty , Gritty , and the Dirty of it : Have you used your relationship status as a leverage to maintain control over your SO ? If so Why ? What was the Out come ? What were your true intentions? Why would You expect them to Do such a thing ? What thing did You ask and expect of them? I ask this because in any relationship no matter if it be Hedero , Gay , Bi , or any other type there always seems to be a time when the partner uses tactics to force and issue , idea , or action from them to get their way , have You ever done such a thing or Has Your SO done such a thing , lets talk about it , we all know…

No one wants to contract HIV. I am somewhat unsure how to post this, but thought it important to share my own experience. I will depend on our moderators to determine its appropriateness. As a heterosexual female in what I believed to be an exclusive committed relationship, I would never have expected that J had been involved in 'risky sexual behavior". However, as I eventually discover, while trying to determine his sexual identity, a few years before meeting me, he had. He did not tell me because he was afraid to out himself. Because of fear, he had not been tested. There is a good chance that when you tell your SO/wife/partner that you want to become fem…

HI I am 32 years old. I am now in a relationship with a FtM transsexual. This is my first time dealing with some one like this but i have been in a relationship with both man and women. Here lies the problem we are bumping in to. He is very man with him self and with others that have came be for me. I don't know if its what he went after only stright chicks i am his frist Bi. He tell me i don't understand what he is going though and maybe i don't i trully want to but every time i try to get in he pushes away. He has alot of pain and i just want to get him some help or some one to talk to to let him know there are others out there dealing with this too!! So if any one can …

Ok , a starter subject , You have all of a sudden Just been told , or recently have been told : I am Trans,Gender Variant , Bi , A-sexual , InterSexed , Any of these and so many more , Please , For those Who have been told this and have found a way to make it work , please share , what the heck you thought , what happened during the course leading up till now , the Highs The Lows , So many want to know the other side of the coin , we can all set here all day and night speculating and guessing , Yet in no way will we know just how this effected , every aspect of your lives together , and Yours , Because you Are truell the Special Person , who through all odds has made t…

Hello everyone!! My name is Vanessa Denise Capella, and I am a transsexual women a little more than a year into transition and feminine hormone replacement therapy. I am a dual degree (B.A. and M.A.L.S) student majoring in Liberal Studies, minoring in Women and Gender Studies, and concentrating in Sexuality Studies at Rutgers University (with full intentions and plans on attending Widener University for a MSW in Social Work and PhD in Human Sexuality afterwards). While I am concentrating in sexuality studies, I am more specifically specializing in LGBTQ sexuality, in which the transsexual and transgender sexuality issues are my area of concentration. Presently I am d…

I have been an out and proud lesbian for well over a decade. I was set up with my now husband on a blind date that described him as female with facial hair. I literally stumbled when we were introduced because he was clearly male. After hearing him out, I decided that this person was kind and gentle with awesome intentions and a huge heart. We began to see one another as friends, eventually developed a relationship and 4 years later, legally wed. He had already been on testosterone therapy almost a decade when I met him. That said, he is very male appearing. I love him, I truly do. He is in his early 50s, pre-op and has plans on top surgery but perfectly happy wit…

I'm probably in the wrong place and I truly don't want to offend anyone here but I am a straight male married to a FTM and looking for some advice/support/insight/peace while I struggle with my relationship. My spouse may be on this forum and I'd prefer to keep him from knowing my growing sense of crisis regarding our marriage. I looked for support groups for spouses of FTMs but they appear to be inactive or rarely used. Kick me out if I'm in the wrong place. Any help would be appreciated. Nice to meet you.

Hi. I'm new to the board, and I'm a transwife. My husband is pre-op, pre-T. We were legally same-sex married this year. He's planning on beginning the physical transition within the next 18 months. Once his name changes on his birth certificate, our marriage license will no longer be accurate. Do you know how this affects our marital status? Can any of you point me to links or resources that might help us figure out how to handle this particular set of legalities? Thanks in advance for your assistance!

How to be a trans ally: https://medium.com/matter/real-talk-with-trans-people-57b9aa3b91a8 emma