stephani

That's quite useful Thanks michael , your always staying on top of useful information for everyone.

Huggs

Stephani

looks like your body is doing what mine is , loosing the size of my legs and butt first then the rest is slowly dropping down , its always a great motivation when we loose weight and start fitting better into cloths we really love , Since january 1st I have lost 48 lbs and my labs have all came back within normal ranges for once in about ten years , lol , so funny how when we eat right and exorsize on a regual basis the weight might not fall off but it does slowly deminish bringing us closer to the goals we set for our selves I still have 60lbs to go for my goal but will be saticfied if i can drop 45 more lol. nah not really I want to loose the 60 . then look out all those skinny cloths be mine to buy and show off . You keep up the good work and stay motivated its hard but once you get into a routine it gets easier to at least maintain without going back up .

Huggs

Stephani

A time restless and true holds our minds to captive times of past , moving forward our lives seem momentary , hold the moment and time shall pass you by , simply bestill a glance and it moves beside us in true form ... Your beauty shines through Caroline The mirror glistens and resinates a womans reflections upon your eyes , hold the image and your mind shall recall a past held within , bestill the glance and your true woman will walk with you forever .... Take care Hun and dont hold onto the past to tightly you know the crushing hand it held upon you and your true self struggled free into your world , enjoy the future strides hold a tender hand and Happiness will show through ...

We all have times we could hope to forgo remembering yet they held a place for our growth and created a life of our own design , remember tommorow awaits our steps and yesterday has past behind to be covered over by the dust we stir moving forward in our lives .

Priorities hold like the past , let go of them and we feel void and unsettled yet again , lightly hold them within your hand and they to shall move along side us towards tomorrow , gaze to closely and they become reminders , glimps at what you hold and they become mere shimmers upon our eyes ... changed through time like we have done within our transition from one day to the next ... with every day you to change like those priorities we held so tightly to in the past , in some way new and exciting the concept of newly held priorities yet a reminder of a traveled path dusted over and revisited merely glimps and they are gone again changed slightly as we to have within time ...

Hugs all around ...

Stephani

very Relaxing Hun , Hope the endevor produces the beneficial results it appears as though you are attempting to withdraw from the listener .. I hope as well you obtain the nessesary funds to persue a larger audiance and listener base ... Once again Congratulations on the completion and on your future endevors may they clearify the mirk filled haze listeners are often within prior to listening and soaking up your thoughts and feelings within the melody or harmonic waves that will cascade from within their audio device ....

Good job , harmonic and soothing .

Hugs

Stephani

I think it is a raw deal treating you with such intended screwtany , I do believe they are simply looking for that one slip up or the pressure becoming to great that you now longer can work there , I wouldnt give them the saticfaction either , stand your ground do your job and let them play their hand then you like you say will be a little free'er in your monitary cercomstances , I know this is happening to me as well because when you go from more then you can get done to not getting hardly any work you know they are putting the pressure on you . No biggy I could deffinatly use the time off with pay so Fire me you jerks It really isn't going to hurt my feelings one bit (LOL) . It really is funny when The shop has Three gay guys working in it but as soon as someone transitions and is in no way hiding this fact they freak out and try to get rid of them , so funny to me . Oh well such is life it will only get better ...

Head up ,Smile big , and step with pride knowing your doing your part .

Hugs

Steph

Smiles , Glad to hear your trip went well . Hugs Steph

:o , I get it , I got it and You Know how to get were you want to be . Keep up your goals you will make a wonderful addition to the working force forcing work by force .... Hee Hee , Your inspiring list may it shine a light to those who struggle in the darkness ...

Take care and Huggs

Steph

I am a one Woman Gal so to think I could ever take on the toll of Two You had me at hello .. LOL . You were my Hero and still are , keep us updated cant wait to hear the next exciting tid bit , I like the new picture You are such a Cutie .. But you already know that . Hugs

Take care you

Steph

Mike , this is the question isnt it , the one big never leaving the room standing in the corner waiting to pop into your daily conversations question .... When is some one that says they know and understand and accept you for you pops off with the he/she statement , would it have mattered that it was in public concerning a woman he percieved as Trans or would it have been more understandable if it was at the house plopped on the couch watching another springer or morrey episode on Trans this or Trans that , I often get the snide comments flung through out the room when such shows are on , usually from the Daughter , her Boyfriend and My Son , My wife no but she doesnt exactly show her support on a daily basis ...

I know that I have given all of them more then an adiquate amount of time to come to gripps with my gender and how I express myself on a daily basis But they all still throw their daggers my way when they feel I am at my weekest and as of late that is often ...

The saving light is that I have some Good anti-depressants Now and I simply dont have enough time to think about their ignorant spowtings , it goes in and comes out before I have a second to ponder it , so I guess like Lori and Bonnie have said No matter how long things have been and no matter who it may be , their will all ways be that stupid remark that gets under our skin , can we deal with it like you did by scencible questioning and reason Hopefully , should we have to , One would think that we shouldn't when it comes to family or close loved ones but yet we still do .

It sucks and it will happen many more times before your though with transition , unfortunatly you are correct society likes us to believe it is more tollerant and understanding but when the reality is that it has to bite its tounge so it doesnt constantly stick us with thorns .

Take care Mike you sweet soul , I will always think you my guy friend from the intercosmic ethernet ... Kiss' you big hansom devil you ...

Hugs steph

keep up the good work , Oh and Clean up that room its a mess ...LOL :lol:

It has been some time , Well Done , great news , take care and be well and happy . :D

Sounds like things are making their way to a good place , hope all remains steady and on an upward note , also hope the divorce doesnt take to much out of you , its always a nasty stressful time and ordeal . two you are a busy girl arent you . You take care of you and Hope the letters are signed and passed over your way to make that next step forward. take care hun , Steph

you are probably correct , I have always mind overloaded myself I am surprised I havent had a nervous breakdown yet , I try not to let to much distract me or consume my thoughts and as of late taking these anti-depresants I cant think of a damn thing nor do I have any feelings toward anything , goto get this adjusted this is rediculous I want the anxiety and depression to be managed not turn me into a mindless Zombie , Oh well another trip to the doctors office and get this stuff worked out , Hugs Thanks and you take care and be well and happy . XXX Steph

There are a number of states that have such restrooms but I feel they all should in this day and age the social implications involved with such a divide greatly increases the risks and issues by so many in the FULL Time portion of the SOC rules , once again the rules playing around with our lives , I digress , ok if I use the mens room ENFEM then that posses great personal risks to my physical well being , I use the Female restroom like I should then I can possibly be arrested for indeacensey in public , possible predator tag and risk being placed upon the child predator list ( sex offender ) for the rest of my life , Just because I have A Carry letter doesn't mean a Damn thing if a cop wants to book you He is going to do so , that posses another risk because if you havent had your SRS then your going to be placed into the male holding , once again personal risk .... So what is the Happy medium here , Unisex bathrooms good start but still not an answer , I dont know I get such a queasy feeling any time I have to use the restroom out , travling such as I do I run around in what I believe are the riskiest states , Missouri , Oklahoma , Texas can you say good ole boys .... ok Not so much trouble as of yet but I get more looks then I care to . I dash and splash when I have to use a truck stop restroom , because I frequent the same locations the staff is and are nice and polite but the customer turnover leaves much to be desired because of varring oppinions and beliefs , getting a bit more tence I believe it might simply be myself being overly sensative to my surroundings but I am leaving no room for any such violence or legal issues , I suppose just make sure you have your documents in case you need a back up for why you were using that restroom at least until the laws have been changed in more favorable treatments for us all .

I dont care if I am dressed male (which is really hard to do since I dont have any male cloths ,lol ) or enfem I dont like public restrooms , Nasty ,nasty , I still have to tinkle I have to , leave me alone you untollerant bastards , LOL .. take care and be well and healthy

Steph

Good luck with this new endevor , so much to ask of you after so much to simply arrive , you take care and try not to let it overwelm you out of the starting gate .

Huggs Be well and healthy.

Steph

Sorry Sweetheart , just popped on and saw your responce , Thank you very much as I said I really was apprehencesive about going and seeing one , (You know the Anxiety Level was ungodly LOL ) But I was eventually going to have to have a face to face with someone anyways so why not now , Right , no time like the present . It has been a long time coming and life just kept getting in the way I was again broken and at my wits end , I just said to hell with it and the bills and the rest can stew for all I care .(LOL). I feel better but, had another anxiety attack yesterday , just about the now what's you understand , I have waited and put things off so long they pilled back up on my plate , this Fat chick cant eat that much (LOL) , eccentially I live fulltime so I am not really worried about this concern if she brings it up I cant dress any more Feminine then I do ( atleast not till my Breasts grow a bit more , this Acup bra leaves alot to be desired LOL) , also I take HRT so aint worried about that either , just the little things I still am in the process of dealing with , OMG I am rambling I am sorry Hugs Hun , PM me if you want , and Thank You so much .

Your sister in Life :

Steph XXX

Back yet again , I just thought I would add another twist to your ponderance , 4 months in on HRT and guess what , No smell , slight after taste after a while but other then that nothing so it is possable that your GG friends have a valid point, but also I still maintain that it really is a personal thing , like dislike , smell dont smell , gag or swallow , all up to you and your partner .

Big smiles , glad to hear this opportunity came your way , it is a terrible time to try and find work not to mention all the other concerns and aspects of finding new employment . Congratulations I hope it stays favorable for you long into the future .

Oh also , You skinny B you , I wish I was that thin and sexy . The purple makes your breasts look to large for your frame so decrease a little or dont were the purple sweater . I loved the first photo very nice appeared very appropriate . Hugs

I myself do not believe it is a matter of pass or fail , how do you feel about going out enfem , are you confident in who you are then start out in little subtle changes gradually increasing yes it takes a while this way but in doing so you are less distracted with managing your enfem appearance and more in simply going about your day to day a little more confortable dressing as you wish , also age appropreatly is a big factor as well , if you want to jump in with both feet goto another town to a LGBT friendly location and test the waters , your still going to be out in the public eye simply for a shorter period of time , it is important that you are awair of your surroundings so do a little recon before hand , know where to go if you need assistance those sort of things , Be safe Take your time and most of all if your confident and dont fear being outed ( because it will happen some time ) just enjoy your outing as you feel you can . Confidence in yourself makes the whole difference in others reactions , I get mammed alot then they change it up with an oh I am sorry and I simply smile and say thank you or yes it's ok , it doesnt bother me if they think one way or the other I dress female because I am female the Hormones are helping but they are limited in what they can do for me at this time of my life so I simply live my life out like I live my life , Confortable and confident knowing I am who I am no matter what society says . I will say it was not easy the first time I went out but I realized I didn't need their approval I needed mine .

Apparently your channel is unavailable , I did subscribe non the less . sorrowsbreath if you were interested my dear , I thought it funny that they really thought they were big boys until you started to tape them then oops were'd they go oh behind their buddy and that stand pole, and the guy in the back attempting to out you no one seamed to give one rats arse what they had to say . so funny , West coast accross the pond Haha so funny , everyone wants to be a gangsta , what a deuce , Ya a Shyte head be he behind the pole .LOL

Take care hun

hugs steph

Just a bit , alot depends on the guy and what he injests . at times its strong and harsh to take , others it's a bit more mild , but either way , GG's will back this up its just a nasty after taste , you can some what get use to it and some times some never do it's a personal thing . just like oysters you like them or you don't . can you aquire a taste and like for it I still say it's a personal thing . I have my days when just the smell turns my stomache other days were its not such a nausious thing . I insist on a rinse with a soda after words just to lesson the after taste this makes it a little more tolerable at least for me .

I hope this helps confirm or debunk your ponderance .

Understood and well put , I was simply courious to your thoughts .. I suppose you are correct on numerous points , and am glad to hear your side of the glass on the tg you stopped . Yes I suppose the sex industry does stir some seedy individuals your way but dont they desirve some compasion a a hint of respect if they are showing you the courtasy ? A set of bars is a set of bars it's the individuals on the other side I am often worried about ... some times it's not the one's on the inside that frighten me , it those who closed the door I believe need to be watched a little closer , to often their the ones that cause the so called self inflicted injuries , or perpitrate the brutal attack that leads to the they must of slipped and fell then twisted their neck killing them on the way down physicality ... I don't wish to sound as though I don't respect nor admire the great job that so many underpaid officers do in the name of their fellow man but as you are I am sure awair there are snakes in the grass that will strike out in anger for those that they have no desire to understand ..

I want to thank you for your Service , So Thank you so very much you are appreciated .

You take care , and huggs

Steph

I notice that you mentioned your heading out to arrest bad guys , maybe you could shed a light into the mystery of the force ... In the past and as far I know there are still officers that believe that we TG's are no better then child rapists or petafiles and need to be taught a lesson that society doesn't need nor want us around and deam them selves worthy the task of punishing us for being Trans in any form . do you feel that these officers should be thrown to the wolves behind bars for the abusses they subject us ( wide ranging not specific to myself or you )too , or should they simply be repremanded in public and patted on the back behind closed doors like so many do and have been .... I would also ask what do you suppose they would do if you came out to them as being trans , would you find your self in the situation so many others have found them selves in or would they gladdy remain your partner or co-worker , I am just courious , what were your past beliefs about trans individuals when they ended up being in front of you and your blinking lights .. I wont ask any more questions These are hard enough to answer thats why its nice to have an officer come to the for front now maybe I can feel a little safer knowing that there are more then one TransOfficers working within the force .

Sorry if to direct, You will find out thats just how I am , Welcome to the forum and the blog section . hope to hear more from you in the future ..

Huggs Steph

Hang in there and stand your ground , yes your brother is upset and rightfully so dont you think , he's always been Bro to Bro so it's going to take some time for him to understand that his ultimatums toward you and the family are really quite silly and insignificant in the larger scheam of things , not only loosing you to transition but the parents he has put into this precarious situation , turning the family into my way or no way isn't the answer I am sure you will try and help him understand this when he cools down , it might be soon and then again it might take a life time just be patient like you have in every other aspect of this final desision .

I truelly wish you all the best hopefully the new job will fit the bill for you and all levels out into a nice orderly life . all the best and my thoughts go out for your family . Hugs Steph