KarenPayne

Thanks Michele

Fingers crossed you will be approved for top surgery.

I've had stakers in the past and at least in my case that person did not have the characteristics of a stalker but she ended up being my very own stalker for about five years. When in doubt politely break the connection between you and the would-be stalker.

Hello Christie, In regards to Social Security, not sure if the following fits the rules of your state or not but here in Oregon they will only change gender if the letter from the therapist is an approval letter for gender reassignment surgery and not a letter stating that the person is suffering from gender dysphoria.. Any ways congrats on what you have achieved woohoo.

Hello Christie, If your state is like mine the rule for DMV is to have not simply have a therapist letter but that the therapist is WPATH certified for the gender designator to change.

I get in the shower, wash my hair which is done every week and sometimes two weeks. Stare at myself in the mirror and think, I am bored with my hair color and need to change it to simply blonde rather than blonde with a tad of brownette. So I waited until my fav salon opened, two hours later and went in, chatted with my stylist and she told me what she would do for me. Well three hours later we finished up and I am very happy with the results (need to take a picture still). Two hours is when I need to get out of the chair, went outside and by accident my thumb touched my still wet hair and did not noticed for about 30 minutes, eek, damage done, my gorgeous nail was now smeared with hair coloring so once finished I went to the nail salon, for them it was less than five minutes. She uses a Dremel to remove the color, puts on a new top coat then one minute for the clear coat to dry. They never charge me so that was nice. Any ways those dang hormones are too blame for me spending $150 to get my hair done where if I simply had a touch up done the cost would be about 40-50 dollars. Girls, I would not have it any other way, just that over the past six months (and my hair stylist thinks the same) I am doing crazy things that pregnant woman do. Now I will really be upset if I get cravings for pickles and icecream EDIT Well I swear, started out the day in a black skirt, black tights, black top and flats for getting my hair done. Came home to wash the car and changed into tennis shoes, shorts and the same top. Now my brain says, off with the shorts and bring on the capri's and red flats. I am such a girl.

I felt like a Karen so I selected Karen for that reason. My last name came from my students calling me the "Giver of Pain" (defensive tactics instructor) and from that came Payne.

In regards to arched brows, the eyes and brows can easily make or break someone looking to pass as a female and for that matter, anyone that has little or no brows can draw attention and question by others about that person while well groomed and shaped brows can do the exact opposite.

Thanks for sharing Eve, good to hear birth certificates can be changed now.

I just watched the video below which some might think is boring yet in my mind is well worth the time and energy to sit down and watch. They talk equally to M-F and F-M. There are many who think they have it rough today but I believe after watching this video you will think differently. One transgender, April, she is the epitome of making the right decision and is gorgeous to boot. I did learn that in a James Bond movie there was a transgender and is was very hot. Of course not all transgender can be hot but it's nice to see some just the same.

Eve, I am going to call her tonight as today I have a date with an old co-worker who is a looker. We met once a month and I am starting to think she is into me and I have always even as a male had sexual thoughts for her. I believe you have mentioned in passing about your love of boots before.

On Thursday I noticed the heel on one of my best boots the bottom part was coming off. I managed to fit it back together yet realized it would eventually be unrepairable. So yesterday morning I headed off to Macy's knowing there was a decent sale on shoes/boots and this is where I purchased the current pair. I believe my choice in an outfit was great, nice pair of leggings which is what I would wear with boots, snakeskin mid height heels, tank top and a cardigan. In less than two minutes a gorgeous late twenty female sale person asked if I needed help. Told her my intent and she said that if I needed any help to wave to her. After about ten minutes she came back over and mentioned that the two pairs of boots I was looking at she had last year and proceeded to tell me about them. The thing that really got me was how she was looking at me like she could eat me up in bed and felt great. We chatted for about five minutes and then asked if I could try both pairs on. Since I know how shoe sizes go I asked to try a 9 and 9.5. She comes back with one pair in 9, one pair in 9.5, get the same look of I could eat you up. So I try both pairs at once and of course can't decide which pair and that one size feels slightly tight and the other slightly too large. She comes back and in short recommends I get the 9.5 giving a few reasons why. I said sold. At the counter after completing the transaction she gives me her personal number and said don't hesitate to call me with a coy smile. I leave feeling good with options going through me head. On the way out an older couple are at the door, the man waits for me holding the door and when I get there he takes his hat off and says good day too you, how is your day going. I said thank you and that my day was great. I mention this because it's not everyday a man takes his hat off for me or for that matter never seen this outside of a movie Returned home and compared the new boots with the old boots and noticed they were the same brand which is good as the old pair served me well, pretty much wore them three or four times a week over the past year. Now thinking about calling the woman who helped me and see what happens but still not sure if I will or not.

Good to here things are going better for you now.

Hello, I can sympathize with you on the first steps of going public full time and can tell you it does get easier as time passes to the point you will not even think about "do I look presentable", "am I walking correctly" or "is my voice proper". In regards to eye-liner, had the same problem so I went and had permanent cosmetics done two years ago since then look great all the time. It's not cheap in regards to the cost but when you consider down the road there is no fuss in the mornings or touch-ups throughout the day it's well worth the cost. Also, hormones, the longer you are on them the majority go through many changes that are usually small and seem unnoticed by you but wait and at some point people will tell you they see no similarities from say one year ago till present.

I believe many here can sympathize with how you feel and is unfortunate that this happens. Myself like many others have travelled your path to one extent or another, some can deal with it while others can't and a cross road lays ahead where one path lies desperation and the other path which is usually difficult brings some semblance of relief or complete utopia. Should I take door number 1 or door number 2. And door number 2 can be very painful for the first few miles or the entire trip. I took door number 2 and never looked back while others have taken door number 2 and had partial or full regret. My saving grace was that even though I was rudely given a male body with a female inside I could for 50 years adapt for about 90 percent of the time to be somewhat happy and even over joyed at times until the female cried out to escape which until recently I could control then she demanded let me out and I complied.

Have you considered spending time with a therapist?

I believe the female puberty thing gets many of us and we learn as time passes by, I will admit I went through it and now look back and see it as part of my growth. Happy to hear your are on a joyful discovery now.

I use to find halloween a sanctum for no-bars outings before gender reassignment surgery. Would dress up, go to work then out to parties or bars and be extremely happy in that nobody would bother me, a male dressed as a female. My first time in Oregon, I dressed in a just above the knee skirt, white blouse and high heel pumps that I would call very business-like where many employees did not recognize me. Heck even one hit on me. This halloween will be my first as a female and the year before it was during my real life test. What I am doing this year? For the first time in 15 years giving out candy to neighborhood children early evening and then off to a local bar to meet up with a female friend. In one respect drab, no exhilarating push of adrenaline coursing through my veins for the sheer thrill of dressing as a female but instead perhaps my costume might be enough, a twenties flapper. For those who have not gone under the GRS knife and plan on going out, best wishes to you!!!

In regards to GRS and relationships concerning real gay men, I believe you are on the right track with your thoughts. One time I was in a situation where intercourse was an option where there were two gay men and myself post-op and one of them made advances at me to enter me, not my vagina but my backdoor which first and foremost I am against, just not my thing. The point is sexual-wise I could be with a gay man if I submitted but zero, nothing in regards to relationship as in this situation it was all about the sex, no connection. I know and experienced friendship with gay men but nothing there relationship wise. I would guess the same would be possibly be true with your situation also but than again one never knows. Any ways I cherish my gay friends no different than my non gay friends. In regards to you being a freak, I don't think so but instead have less options (no different than me) for relationships. Sex is easy to come by but true and meaningful relationships are few and far between for us.

About the only things I was covered for were doctor visits and drugs, everything else was out of pocket for me. There is better insurance which even covers surgery for those who make little to nothing while I am at the opposite end of the scale.

I paid 4USD for my meds each month. One thing that my doctor would be diligent about was me taking a baby aspirin each day once on HRT to be safe.

So happy to hear for the most part things are moving right along. Now is a good time to begin (if you haven't already) writing down places you need to change your name once you can officially do so along with documents needed such as birth certificates and figure out the order documents need to change, every state is slightly different, here is Oregon for example. I paid $107 for the process along with $5 for each copy I wanted as they are good to have as photo copies may not do the trick in some circumstances.

Well as most know it's not easy to meet someone even as cis-gender. I know from when I was male and attempted to lead that life. Pretty much had a girlfriend after my divorce from 2000 to 2012 but the majority of them were in another town, Portland which is a 20 minute drive or out in the sticks, closer but not much better. I always wanted to have a relationship with a female that was close to home but that never happened. I was not into casual sex but wanted to be in some type of relationship. From 2012 until three months or so ago I realized the same thing was true, hard to find a man or female close by that I was attracted too and could speak intelligent, hold a decent conversation. So over the past month I have been "playing the field" for both genders. I found one female that I get along fine with and the same with one man. Had to weed out a lot of people just to find these two and not fully committed to either one, guess I am a tad bit picky and have the right to be. I met a man last night at a bar, and I was horny and was not looking for anything past a casual encounter. Well I really hit the jackpot with this one, he was such a gentleman the entire night. Went back to his place and was taken back a bit to see his package, I did not measure but think it was eight inches and safe to say I made sure he made good use of it several times. He was the first man that know more than three positions and was very happy about that along with my pleasure came first. After the first go-around I laid there pleasuring myself which in turn got him ready again and it was great yet another time. Oh, with a long penis comes a wider penis and I had zero issues other than the length at some points was hitting against the back wall but what would a girl to think a eight inch penis is going to make it back there without knocking the back wall which is why other positions are good for a penis that length. Girls, in this case size did matter, especially width as I have little sensation there and a ton of sensation in my clit that can keep going and going, makes my body shake and toes curl in a great way. I should mention that after telling him about my past it was not a problem. He did say at first, you are playing a joke on me, I can't believe you were once male. I feel it's important to disclose to someone that you might get intimate with about one's past but if not and never plan too than mums the word.

In regards to breast sensations, get use to them as they will not go away anytime soon. Mine went away only after breast augmentation. On average breast size is determined by the cisgender female with the largest breast in your family then downsize a half or full size cup. My mother is a C cup, I went to a B cup then had breast augmentation to achieve a C cup. Hopefully you are under the supervision of a doctor for the hormones, if not I highly suggest you do.

Congratulations!!!