eveannessant

Hi emma, The lady in the leopard spotted fleece is my wife, she's just the best person on earth......................We had a wine guzzling party here last night with 4 of my trans friends and two of their wives, must try out cork spitting, sounds as if it could be fun. Fun doesn't have stop jusy because we age.............. Cheers, Eve

Hi Karen, Strangly enough I wear thongs most of the time and I am still waiting for GRS, I find that getting them in slightly smaller size helps me to tuck my junk a lot better, and also I find them very comfortable. I suspect that they'll be a whole lot more comfortable post GRS............ Yes, getting called madam and ladies is quite commonplace now, and when I'm out I'm out and about I don't really think about passing, I'm too busy being me. Cheers Eve

Hi Lisa, With regard to electrolysis, I found that the moustache area is very sensitive, if you find that rings true for you too, try getting hold of some Emla Cream. I applied it starting an hour before "face torture" repeated 3 times after the first application dried, so aprx every 20mins. This took much of the sting out of the process, I also take 4x Ibuprofen an hour beforehand too. Hope this is helpful to you. Cheers, Eve

Hi Monica, I sense some deep sadness in your entry. Don't knock yourself down, I'm sure many people would be interested in you. I know, that's fine for me to say that, because I also do the same sort of self deprecating things, you might see that in my latest blog entry ,specifically to do with mental capacity................... Whatever my shortcomings and I'm sure I have many, such as I'll never have a shapely body with such broad shoulders and narrow hips, I'm old, I'm not good looking and cute, my voice is terrible and will never be very femme, not well off financially et al, others still like & love me. Point is, if I can overcome all that crap, you can too. A persons inner self which I think used to be referred to as their persona will always shine out, and ok you refer to it as demisexuality, but if you really like some one, and they really like you, the sex bit will likely arrive at some point later. To my mind anything else is shallow, and to an extent false. Second point is that your persona does shine out girl, hold on to it it's great.......... Cheers, Eve x

Whilst on my Dutch holiday, I decided to show our hosts the gentle British art of spoon hanging...................of course they also tried & quite successfully. Who knows this might catch on as a cult craze......... I find such nonsense amusing, must be sometnig to with having a small mental capacity, little things amuse little minds....................... Cheers , Eve

Monica, thats very humourous, I was thinking of having them pinned to my dress as a person learning to be a woman....................... Eve x

Go for it Christie, be yourself! By now you'll realise that I also despised dressing up as a male! Hugs, Eve

Hi Girls and Boys, In my last entry I told of my excitement of going on holiday to Holland for a week driving with our caravan in tow from Dover to Dunkirk via a ferry. My excitement was fully justified, however dissapointingly no one on the outward journey checked my passport other than the ferry company, but no worry once on the ferry I settled down to reading a new e-book that I recently purchased (Becoming Drusilla - more about this later). No-one stared, no-one said any rude remarks as my innermost self had feared, and why should they, have no-one has in in the UK to date, we disembarked at Dunkirk with myself feeling very happy and drove through northern France, Belgium and into Holland. As we neared the camp-site we saw the magnificent bulb fields with mainly tulips and hyacinths in full bloom, they gave a wonderful striped colourful view of the flat landscape. We shared our section of the campsite with 2 Canadian women (amongst others)who were touring in a German registered motor home, They told my wife that liked to see 2 women camping together! My wife then told them that I am transgender, and they absolutely accepted me as myself as a trans woman, I told them I still needed 'L' plates! When our freinds visited the next day for a BBQ the two Canadian women also came over for dinks, our freinds are a (cis) couple, she's a "Kiwi", and he's a "Cloggie", they're an absolutely fantastic couple, who invited us over to their house in The Hague for an overnight stop. The next day we visited a museum in Harlem in the morning and then drove to The Hague. My wife went out cycling with the the male half and I went shopping with the female half.........great fun, quite unexpectedly she said that getting the foundations right was so important to looking good...........so she bullied me into going for a bra fitting, the net result hasn't produced anything that I didn't know already, but the experience was fun, the Dutch shop assistant was sooo open minded! Bless her. That evening we drank in the beautiful bar that they created in their loft space, it was truly amazing. The next day we visited the Japenese garden, followed by lunch and a visit to the amazing model world exhibition. In the evening we went to an Italian restaurant, where I was always referred to as madam, this was really good! Food was also good too. All too soon it was time to pack up the caravan where I ruined my nails on the caravan awning , oh well camping and long nails don't really mix! After an overnight stop on a Truly awful campsite next door to Dunkirk, we made our way to the ferry port, where my passport was checked more times than I can remember, success at last I thought! It was nice all the same, to be back home in the UK except for the M25 around west London, we got home and eventually had drinks and a roast chicken dinner (UK style of course with lots of gravy!). I'm now back at work and looking forward to our next trip in the South of England in a couple of weeks time. Ok I mentioned the book that I couldn't put down "Becoming Drusilla" by Richard Beard. It's a biography of a MTF transition from the eyes of a close friend who is the author. I was fascinated by the similarities between Drusilla and myself, hands on engineering backgounds etc. At the conclusion of the book I actually cried properly for the first time since transitioning, I felt that I had found some answers to my own questions, and at the same time to find that I am not at all alone in being different to many other "T" girls that I know, both mentally and physically. Drusilla also has a website called Being Drusilla. Well at least I haven't bored you to death with the holiday snaps taken on my new i phone! Cheers, Eve

Hi Christie, So glad you are writing this, it very much reminds me of my own recent experiences, even though they are relatively recent, they now seem far off. I also had feelings of being male the female just like the tide ebbing and flooding, but the male feelings (which also gave uncertainty) started to get fewer and further between. Are you on hormones and anti-androgens yet? I found that after 2 years of oestrogen it was a slow and gradual process of riding myself of the alternating male and female feelings, after starting anti-androgens the process has quickened quite markedly and I no longer have any male feelings, and I feel totally normal as Eve, I also like the way my female identity has grown with my preferring to express myself as a female professional with an smart office look rather than the overtly girlish leather minis, and boots that I started out with 3 years ago. Good luck with your shopping, but remember the little signifiers such as jewllery, they make such a difference. Pearls never seem to go out of fashion and give such an up-market look ,when worn with classy clothes, and a nice perfume such as Giorgio (the yellow one!). Cheers and hugs, Eve

Hi, I echo the same as Christie has said, but I would add that when I look back on my life I can see that there were signs that all was not "normal" for me, perhaps I was too stupid to realise it at the time. Cheers, Eve

Good Luck Karen, I hope it all goes well for you. Eve

Hmmm ,you're certainly going through the mind mill ! Why should anything change just because you now look like a woman? So when you meet someone you really like a lot, go with it, and I certainly wouldn't dwell on your sexuality too much. I too have wondered about my sexuality, and I have to say I don't think that I could do it with a bloke, perhaps a pre-op trans, definately with a post op and best of all a woman, lucky for me I'm married to one. I guess I'm what we in the UK term as Trans Lesbian, whatever it's just a term and I don't care what others might term my sexuality, I'm just me. Hope this helps? Cheers, Eve

Hi Christie, I really hope things turn out well for you, a good dress sense is invaluable for workplace acceptance, I went for the classic business woman look such as protrayed in 1960's films, perhaps I could have played alongside C Grant etc..............LoL :-). Anyway it works really well. Yes, one step at a time is a good way to continue your journey, after a while you'll likely see your destination................. Cheers, Eve

Hi, and I hope that you're all well. My wife and myself are off to Holland next weekend, we're taking our caravan behind our trusty Land-Rover, with our bicycles mounted inbetween. This will be the first time that I get to use my new passport, and be my new self 100% of our holiday. I'm not anxious about it at all, well apart from cycling with a wig on ! I'm really looking forward to it, we had a BBQ last night, our friends of whom I have told of before (he ? she? was also Trans, unknowingly to each other! before we "came out"), I wore an old wig and one of my last few remaining male tee shirts because I was the cook. I stunk of smoke afterwards, and had to sower and change mid evening, and the thought struck me, I'm going to have to do similar whilst away in Holland (we most always BBQ when caravanning). Admittedly, this is an inconvenience, but a minor one really, however I'm not sure about taking a male tee shirt with me though............. Whilst we are there we will meet up with a friend of my wifes (also my friend now) who has stopped with us before, and has seen me as Eve, I think that we are all looking forward to being together again. I'll let you know how I got on when I return, we're stocking the caravan up after it's winter storage today, so I'm getting really busy now, so I won't be posting very much until early May. Life as Eve is sooo much better than Steve............... Cheers & Hugs, Eve

Brilliant blog Mikha, Being with someone else who you've known previously and then found out about each other is amazing, it happened to me. I think I told the story in my first blog.......... Cheers, Eve

Hi Emma, So sorry that you've been bullied by this person, it happens over here too, some of the full-time and fully transgendered, were quite "stand offish" with me when I made my first faltering steps as Trans, perhaps they needed to do this, to help convince themselves of their own "status" of being superior to me at that time. I remember thinking that it seemed to be hierarchical, something that I had not long left behind as a SCUBA Diver. Bluntly, it's distasteful, destructive, and saps what small amount of self confidence that someone starting out on their journey might possess........... Hugs, Eve

I'm so glad for you Karen, I still have some former colleagues who haven't spoken to me since I changed my identity in December, however there have been others whom I didn't really get along with formerly who have been great with me since.....................people, they're all different!Cheers, Eve

Lisa, You really need to take your time introducing your wife to your being Trans, as the saying goes softly softly catchee monkey.......... None the less, I wish you good luck, and can tell you that you're in for an amazing journey........ Hugs, Eve

Hope it goes well for you Christie. Merging wardrobes is a definite step forward, I wonder how long it'll be before you just junk your male clothes? Most "girls" that I know didn't hang about with a merged wardrobe for more that 3-4 months, so I suspect you're well & truly on an exciting part of your journey. Good Luck. Cheers, Eve

Karen you are amazingly brave with your frankness, and I'm soooo jealous! Eve

Karen, Yes I agree with you re change of official documents, I already had them completed by the end of January. The passport and driving licence gave me most satisfaction, paradoxically along with slight pangs of regret and insecurity! These slight feelings didn't last long though, it was more a case of my saying farewell to Steve....... Cheers, Eve

Hey I like pink! Nice blog, hope you continue. Have you thought about purple at all? Cheers, Eve

I've been struggling to think of something to write about, being Eve seems so normal to me now, I'm even starting to forget who Steve was and how he thought........... I no longer feel so exposed at supermarkets or anywhere else for that matter, I am truly amazed at this, I never in my wildest dreams thought that any of this was ever going to be remotely possible. I had my second decapeptyl injection yesterday evening, and I can already feel the difference it makes, or is it the galss of Australian Chardonnay ? I know that oestrogen and testosterone blockers help a hell of a lot, but they alone are not enough to make you believable to the rest of the population. Anyway I had to go into the office today, and by chance I met the Head of HR (who is my managers boss), I think that I've always gotten along pretty well with her, but she didn't recognise me at first, when she realised who I was, we had a long chat, and she complimented me on my dress sense and hair etc, and we talked about Trans issues in general. After a while she said that I was totally convincing as a female, well I'm not so sure I replied, but my self confidence has grown a lot in the past 3 months, but I guess that the real issue is that I'm really getting used to myself, being me as I really am and not pretending to be male, or thinking I was pretending to be female. So I have a message to you all, believe in yourself, be who you really are. If you don't do this, you will soon be seen as false, or to state it in a way that most Trans people will recognise, you will be read or you won't pass!, so heed my message! Have a great Easter everyone....... Eve x

I think you'd be wonderful at doing this Karen, you more than anyone else has truthfully told, sometimes in detail, what your journey is like and so some of which we might also expect, you didn't have to do this, but it is obviously in your nature to be helpful to others, I think you're a natural! Cheers Eve x

This might sound ridiculous, it sounds ridiculous to me now. Last summer ((heatwave in northern Europe), yes even in rainy old Britain!), before I made the decision to present full time as female, I had to wear a gynecomastia vest to hide my boobs! Bizarre a M to F trans binding his/her boobs......yes it was ridiculously hot, sweaty, and even worse when I wear a wig. So I know your discomfort, I also know, now that I am full time femme, that I can't go swimming because my wig will likely float off! Yes, Summer sucks as you have said............. Cheers, Eve