eveannessant

Have fun with your make-up Karen, yes take your time and experiment, isn't life about having fun anyway? Anyway if I read your last sentence correctly, and also Christies final point, which is a similar thought that I had, I'm not bothered about passing even if I do, and I know that I do anyway, but I'm not bothered what handle you put on me, I'm me, what I always should have been. Humanity is so diverse, and even the 51% of humanity that I now identify with is so diverse that I just do my own thing. This indeed did take a while before I realised it, I think I posted something similar in one of Jayes recent blogs............ Anyway I just been out shopping with my Mom, and bought a new faux fur coat, and sequin party cami top, which will go nicely with other clothes in my almost massive collection, funny that I could never understand massive collections of clothes or enough footwear for a centipede when I was male.................... I got too many coats now as well! Cheers, Eve

Yeah I know what you mean, I went through all this December 3rd last year, which funnily enough was 11 years to the day that I started with the Council as a H&S Advisor......... It was a lot easier than I had hoped for, I'm sure you'll find similar.

Glad that you've said "bring it on", I suspect that it'll be a lot easier and better than you imagine it might be. Cheers, Eve

So Karen, after reading this entry and watching the video, I wonder if you have reflected upon it, and reached any conclusions? Here's what I think; (a) Those present didn't realise at all that you are a Transwoman until you chose to tell them, so why do you think your voice needs any work? They didn't guess your past from your voice! Yes, we are our own worst critics, no-one likes listening to a recording of their own voice, I certainly don't, even when I try to sound a little more femme. I am having voice therapy and I'm not really impressed with it, so I hope you don't waste your money. Have you listened to the voice training section on TG Guide, it might be good to use that, and then re-evaluate. (b) I got the feeling that you just wanted to be honest with the other participants and let them know about your past, rather than any other reason. Or is that me imagining that because it's exactly what I do and what I'd have done in that situation? I was tutoring a Risk Assessment course at work on Wednesday morning teaching 4 females (two of which didn't know me before transition) and I did almost exactly the same, and yes, it was to do with previous work experience, but more than that, it was good to be honest. Perhaps it's a reaction from all the years of keeping my true identity secret? Ok this isn't criticism at all, but to show you how critical of yourself you're being, you mention your posture, but you know, you were sat in the worst possible position really, how many times did you look at the camera? if you were sat where the other two were sat you'd have been facing the camera, and we'd all have seen your infectious smile and I bet you'd not be talking about your posture either. The woman from Texas certainly didn't seem to have a good posture, so next time swop places, yours is much better ! LoL Well I suppose someone had to sit there, and you were completely natural, well done Miss MVPayne Oh I did notice that the MS Employee was using a decent bit of IT, rather than a Windows phone !!! LoL Cheers, Eve

You know how to hurt peoples sense of National Pride ! LoL I wish we'd had a revolution over here too!

Well I wish I did have a holiday to-day LoL ! My own fault for living in a strange country I 'spose ............... Very happy for you Christie. Eve

Well that's a brave entry, however much I want to click the like button I can't because the content is so sad. STOP Please do not think of suicide. No you shouldn't care about anybody remotely like the person or people that you describe, you should care about yourself, and ask yourself what would make you happy in your life? These people are not concerned about you, they are concerned with their own social standing, it sounds so very conservative and old fashioned. It sounds as if a completely fresh start is needed, re-boot your life, start afresh somewhere known to be liberal away from your current location, new place, people, job and thinking. Where are you located? I'll try to avoid it! Hugs, Eve

Oh Jay. I think most of us have these self doubts, if you read my first blogs I often refer to the same and others have have also said similar. For me it seemed like the tide ebbing and flowing, sometimes I'd feel femme, at others I'd ask myself "what the hell do you think you're doing?, you're a bloke, stop all this foolishness, you'll never be a convincing woman1". I often asked myself when I had those tidal feelings and thoughts, "well do you want to go back to being Steve?" Know what?, I always answered no. The tidal movements of these thoughts, have now stopped, thankfully. Maybe it was the Testosterone blockers helping me, letting the oestrogen do it's magic, who knows, but I am thankful to have escaped a confusing time. It's good that you realise that it's your own subconscious that is talking to you in your dreams, but what concerns me is that you seem to be deeply worried that your transitioning will hurt other people who are close to you, such as your father. If these people are indeed family and close friends and love you, they will want you to be happy, if they don't they are not friends at all, just people that you know - acquaintances, worried that there may be some social stigma attached to them, because they have you as a friend or a family member. Parents have had their life and have chosen what they did with their lives, that doesn't mean that you have to follow their choices, it's your life, not theirs they have to realise that. You are very lucky to have such a supportive husband, you haven't wrecked his life, and he was & is the closest person to you. Have you told your father yet, and how old is he? Are their any close friends that you haven't told?2 1However, I have come to realise that whether or not I am convincing, it doesn't matter, I might or might not have transitioned into a totally convincing female, but what I have transitioned into is my true self, this is the most important thing that I have ever realised, I think others can also see it now, if they couldn't at the beginning of my transition.2I told some friends who were ex work colleagues that I was Trans, this was 9 months or so before my RLE began almost (except for a week) a year ago, we never heard from them again until two weeks ago, when they invited us to their place for dinner in a couple of weeks time. So previous to this, I had thought, oh well lose friends, and gain others, I've obviously lost these as friends. But it seems not so, possibly it takes people time to come to terms with transitioning, that and the quickly changing public perception of Transgender as being quite different to Transvestite / Drag / Fetish etc.Stay sane and keep positive thoughts in your head, no one ever said transitioning is easy, it takes determination with some measure of desperation in the mix. Hope that my comments help you, Hugs, Eve

Hey Blair, That's a good video, look at how much more confident you are now compared to the first one that I saw. I couldn't see any nervousness, I didn't even notice if you played with your hair, and I could hear all that you said quite clearly, Liked the karaoke bit at the end too. Hugs Eve

There may have been a gap between entries but the important thing is the amount of progress that you've made. My partner read this entry too, and she said it's nice, so I grabbed her kissed her and said how much spouse support means to someone transitioning, so thanks for this entry. Cheers Jay, Eve

Hi Karen, I had asimilar friend request on FB myself 3 months or so ago. Almost the same chat line too, "Hi I was looking for a friend that I had lost touch with when I came across you, I found your smile in the photo irresistible" etc., I answered " I feel I need to inform you that (a) I'm happily married and (b) I'm M to F transgender, I won't be offended if you don't want be friend me" to which a rapid silence ensued.....................I really found the episode quite cheesy.

Woosh............ a little bit over my head. But good luck when you get them back, have you thought about iCloud storage? LoL

Well that's lower than a normal males levels, however higher than a normal females. You might want to discuss and or ask your endo for intramuscular decapeptyl injections every 3 months, I've not known anyone over here complain about their effectiveness. Having said that it might otherwise just be a matter of time continuing with your existing blocker (I'm guessing cyproterone or spironolactone ?).Well anyway Christie you can google it and find out more, I'd also advise you to check costs it isn't particularly cheap at £207 a time over here.............but hey ho, nothing worth doing is ever easy. Cheers, Eve

Yeah, it's a nice realisation isn't it.................just you being you, glad you've experienced that. How are you getting on with "T" blockers? I found these to be the most significant cause of change. xoxo Eve

Blair, I clicked that I like this, but I don't really, - I love it ! It shows how far transitioning has evolved, and also that for young people, who don't "feel right" in their bodies or attire, can do something about it, with full support from an enlightened and progressive school. How lucky you are to have such support. I guess that you must feel very liberated now that you don't have to carry a burdomesome secret any longer, being open and honest is so much easier.................as I found out after a 56 year struggle. I hope you have a lovely and fulfilling life for the future, being who you want to be, not who others think you should be. Eve

Things like that make my piss boil too.......................It's just complete lack of respect for other people "who don't matter" by big corporations yet again...............

Hmmm Karen!, should I really like this - I'm an Apple fan LoL Congratulations, I am none the less looking forward to seeing you on video.

​Well yes, I think you're right passing is a bit like hiding something really, when I come to think of it. I've hidden something for such a long time in my life, to know it's not at all nice keeping a secret. I guess that it's also a case of not having to worry at the back of your mind, you can be open and your true self. Fact is most people don't react negatively to me being transgender, if anything quite the opposite................

I went into Birmingham's Jewellery Quarter this morning with my Mom who has a small jewellery business, so we went into a trade only wholesaler's where we were looked after by 3 very nice ladies. I wanted a new bracelet or bangle to replace two that have recently broken, now my wrists are fairly large by female standards, and the normal 7.5" bracelets will fit but they're not loose, so I was after 8" bracelets, which I asked for, one of the Ladies then said "oh ladies Bracelets are usually 7.5"", so I decided to be right up front and said "yes but I'm Transgender", "oh really" replied the lady, "I'd never have guessed", yes, this made me feel really good, Shrodinger would have been proud! I did pass after all! There followed a little bit of discussion then about trans issues in general, and I was told that now they know me I could come back any time in the future, so that'll be handy just before Christmas!. The older Lady asked where I had got my coat from, so I told her Luxembourg where I have recently been on holiday, so she was quite disappointed at this, so I suggested that she look on the web for it, I took my coat off and showed her the label, it was sold by Belgian Company JBC, who's stuff I really like. Anyway I got a split solid silver bangle, two silver rings and a pair of genuine pearl stud earrings....... I can't wait to go back again soon. Cheers, Eve

Wow, glad you're enjoying your new self, when you get testosterone it'll help you with your upper body among other things........hope things keep going well for you. Cheers, Eve

Which gender asked you the rude questions? hmmm, reading your reply I suspect male homo - ignoramus. Similar to Karen I've never been asked such personal questions........... were the questions from a co-worker or public no-body? No you don't have to get yourself in check, stand up for yourself, I think I'd probably have said something far worse........ Glad the rest of it seems to be on-track, but I do know what you mean about psychologists, and psychiatrists are worse believe me......... but if you are referred to ChX GIc they are overall a pretty friendly lot. please keep us posted. Cheers, Eve

That reminds me of being unwilling to go outside the front of my house if neighbours were about, and even tip toeing around the rear of the house to the rear of the garage when wearing heels, even though noone could see me ! How daft ! I went out to one of our Libraries to do a H&S check for work recently, and I wore 5" heels with 1" platform soled Nine West ankle boots, the Library manager said "how do you walk in those heels, I can't wear anything more than 2 and a half inch heels". We both laughed at the situation where a cis woman was asking a trans woman such a female question .................... Encouragable?, yes you definately are...................

Yes, I have a brother and his family who have ignored me, my other brother and his family are fine with me. So hey ho it can happen to us all. Have fun travelling, it was a year ago that I started travelling on the trains, it was very liberating after I did it, but I was a little nervous doing it I recall ! Cheers, Eve

Yes Steph, Tornado was the engine that we travelled back to Arley behind.

Went out for another long walk in the Severn Valley countryside on Sunday with my friend Sharon, we'd done walks along the valley a couple of times previously, but this time we parked my car two thirds of the way from Bewdley to Arley at a place Called Trimpley just above the reservoirs. we walked down the valley side to cross the preserved steam railway and then walked alongside the reservoirs, under the historic Victorai rail bridge along the river side to Arley where we crossed the river and walked on the west river bank all the way to Hampton Loade railway station to wait for a train to return us to Arley. Total distance walked as worked out with dividers, rulers and OS map is 8.155 miles or 13.125 Kms, it seemed nearly twice that distance walking over uneven grass, mud, and gravel surfaces. My bad left knee (bone necrosis - scuba diving, motorcycling et al) is still suffering the following day. Anyway we had an enjoyable time and saw some really fine preserved locomotives and carriages pass us as we walked along the riverside, including a couple of famous Locomotives ex LMSR no 46100 Royal Scot, and Ex LNER Replica 60163 Tornado, built in 2008 at Darlington, it's that last steam locomotive built in the UK after a 48 year gap. Enough of my anorak mentality. All through the walk I spoke to other walkers and and passengers and staff at the railway station and no one treated Sharon or myself any differently than other passengers or walkers. So I either passed as female, or people are very tolerant of Transgender people, either way I'm happy with that.