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General

Featured Entries

Transgender Bloggers Wanted: Share Your Journey

Create your own blog at TGGuide.com. It's FREE and you can start right now. Some people blog as a sort of journal to share our thoughts, feelings, experiences and insights. Others blog to express opinions on social and political issues. Others blog to share their knowledge and experience with others. Go ahead. Express yourself! Others may be grappling with issues you blog about and your words could provide useful insight or answers. Here are some blog topic ideas to get your creative juices f
  • Lori

Opening Up

Although I have shared my coming out over the past week, I wanted to write a little more about it here. It has been almost a year and a half since my wife died, and I became free to express my feminine side, albeit secretly. In the process, I have been able to share my evolution with the online community of sisters and have received much-needed support and encouragement along the way. Thank you. Recently, however, I have increasingly felt that I need to open up about my secret life to some of th

Baby Steps

It has been a while since I have been here, so I need to bring this blog up-to-date. I think I was in the process of selling my house when I last wrote. We went to closing on October 2, so that is a done deal. In the meanwhile, I bought an older mobile home in a 55+ senior park and am completing my second month here. At this writing, all is going well, and I am happy with my decisions. The park is safe and quiet. Well, I am somewhat near the railroad tracks, but I have gotten used to the trains.

Am I a Woman?

Yesterday I exchanged emails with a good friend of mine, who's a cis woman, about how before/during/after transition I fretted about my gender. Although I feel very binary, a woman, I tell people that I'm a "woman of transgender experience" which, I hope conveys an understanding that I'm a woman first, but am also transgender, always and forever. Well, I tell myself that, but I still struggle. My friend wrote: "The ways we try as women to fit a standard, and inevitably fail, because it's an
  • Emma

Ain't gonna purge NO MORE, NO MORE!

Okay, throughout my entire life, I have often accumulated various articles and many times, entire wardrobes of woman's clothing, shoes, make-up, wigs, etc. In my own privacy I dressed up, sometimes if only for a short period and other times for extended periods.  More often than not, I always had my "stash", which gave me much comfort in the thought that I would someday be able to transition and live my life of a woman without going back.  It seems that every time I had a "life changing event",

Halloween

Usually I don’t dress up for Halloween because as a young adult I out grew it. But not this year because I I knew I wanted to go full girl for the first time. Thanks to some of my female friends they helped me lived out my dream. It felt so good to finally do what I always wanted. Had my nails and toes painted, makeover, wig, and heels. Also wore a long dress, it was so much fun to not just hang out with the girls but be one them too! 

Feeling Gurly/Sissy

After a lengthy hiatus, I'm back. My move into my 55+ mobile home park went well, and after being here for almost a month, it appears that my new living arrangement will work out fine. The neighbours are very quiet and keep to themselves. for the most part--I have a mentally disturbed lady living next to me who is a challenge on occasion, but more on that at another time. I have met several other residents when I am out walking my dogs, and again, they are friendly but not overly so. This is fin

10/27/18 - Diary entry

Dear Diary- Like most, I often subjected myself to attempting to reach my goals through "instant gratification," fad diet, etc., and following the realization in my initial blog, am attempting a more measured response to reach those goals. It's always hoped that any of this might help others in reaching their goals. My current plan as of this date is: 1. Mornings: Bowl of oatmeal (with a handful of dried fruit and nuts, no milk). 2. Diet Coke Zero through the day (yes, it
  • jonni

10/27/18 - A little exposition

Dear Diary- This Dr. Jekyll and Mz. Hyde blog was started just to keep a diary of my attempt at "stealth mode" transformation to be more of the girl I wish to be. I realized I had not offered any background regarding my initial blog post so I am doing so here to help establish a baseline for my travails as Mz. Hyde seeks a return from purgatory. Be warned that it will more than likely be a very boring blog; I am a writer with some small success in that field and consequently tend to be some
  • jonni

10/25/18

Dear Diary- 1. Discovered fat bulging from over and under the "wings" of a bra I had purchased online. Took stock of myself in a full-length mirror. Depression: my waist size is bigger than my hips. So, trying to lose girth and weight. Other than a bowl of oatmeal with fruit and nuts for breakfast, I do not eating during the day. Trying to focus on salads and soups for my evening meal but donuts, fast-food, and relative-supplied casseroles and dinners are often overwhelming late-night tempt
  • jonni

The Headlines Are As Stunning As They Are Frequent . . .

The Headlines Are As Stunning As They Are Frequent An article by Corrine Goodwin for "The GayJournal Magazine" "Trump's transgender military ban 'worse than don't ask, don't tell,' advocates say." U.S. rolls back protections for transgender prison inmates Trump administration dismantles LGBT-friendly policies Health care new front for transgender rights under Trump In fact, the only thing that seems to happen more frequently than these headlines are the tweets emana

"Inner Circle"

Our "Inner Circle".  A comment about inner circle recently that caused me to ponder further the meaning of the "inner circle"  that each of us have.  I have heard of this term throughout my life of 64 years,  and also pondered it's meaning to me.  My inner circle presumably is comprised of my true self, my thoughts, actions, expectations, goals, fears, regrets, my coping mechanisms, accomplishments and failures, those good and bad things in my own psyche,  judged only by my own mind.  I guard mi

My life moving forward

Tomorrow I start Therapy again. Its been a few years since I went to a therapist. With everything I have had on my plate it's a good thing for me to go. I need to have someone to talk with that isn't in my daily life. Well Heck that would be anyone lol since I don't talk to anyone at all daily. I am very withdrawn from society and people in general. Everyone in my life has always been so mean. I seem to attract mean and selfish users. Anyways I am hoping this will help me begin to realize I am f

New Queen In Town

After all these weeks and months, I finally made the move. My house actually was under contract by the end of August, and, as I wrote before, I found a mobile home for the princely sum of $15,000. I put $5,000 down to take possession and started moving in during September. I made the final move on October 1. The closing was October 2, and the money was in the bank--big sigh of relief. I have spent the past week unpacking an making a home for myself. So far, I couldn't be happier. I didn't realiz

What's in a name?

I think names are significant.  I don't particularly care for labels, however.  But names we like, names we choose, those that "sound" good to us often have much meaning as to where we've been, whom we've met , where we want to go, what appeals to us, and what we would like to be, and says a lot about our own perception of our personality.     One of the first realizations that we are going to transition comes to us when we choose a name.  Some of us choose early in life, some later in life
Blackangel Happenings

My Drug story.

I'm posting this in the hopes that it may help someone.   I've talked a little bit about the type of upbringing I had. It was not a pleasant one. When I was 18 I went thru 2 traumatic events within a day and a half of each other. After being abused my whole life and then that, I snapped. I started getting high. At first it was small stuff. Grass mainly. Then that didn't cut it. So I started doing other things. Blow, angel dust, acid, x, and many other things. I even tried molly and bla

Five days on the road

As many know I love driving my 2016 Mazda Miata and belong to a local Miata club. Last week I spent five days, Thursday through Monday driving with 17 other cars, a total of 22 people, all cisgender except for me. I have never mentioned my past life and transitioning. I bring this up because those who have plans for transitioning need to know when you do things right e.g. work on your female voice and be comfortable in your new skin coupled with mannerism and age appropriate clothing even i

When You Transition . . . Everyone You Know Transitions, Too

When You Transition . . . Everyone You Know Transitions, Too Written By Corinne Goodwin in "The GAYJOURNAL Magazine" I began my so-called "path to transition" at the age of 55.  That is when I finally said the words "I am transgender and I have to live authentically" out loud.  Of course, I knew that I was trans decades earlier.  I was not able to put a name to it, but I knew there was something different about me even before I started kindergarten.  I was a real hard charger who worke

Being misunderstood

The biggest thing I hate about me is being so misunderstood. People think that Me being different that its ok to call me names look at me funny. If I take my son to the park and other families are there I get looked at funny and round up their kids away from me. I don't look as a passable female at all. So I guess that means to them I am a predator or something. Being called names like freak and gay. Not that there is anything wrong with being gay but I don't identify that way. That is desperate

Growing up and out.

I continue to grow as a person. I have been dealing with issues my whole life. Now that I am accepting myself as who I am meant to be I find it more freeing. I am wearing more of my bras and pretty much all female outfits in public now. My breasts are sore and my nipples hurt those have been for a while now. And I haven't even taken anything to create that at all. I guess I am a lucky one. Having an overactive pituitary gland has forced my hand and forced me to accept myself. Having a higher tha

Labels

As I near my fourth anniversary on TG Guide I'm feeling a bit reflective. So much water under the bridge! Back then I was on pins and needles posting here as I worried about what I said (or didn't say), what my future might be. I guess I'm getting ahead of myself; I do wish to write another entry when we're closer to the anniversary itself. I've read a lot about labels and how much many people don't like them. If I was non binary I'd certainly understand. I think it would be so hard to walk
  • Emma

Sometimes you slide backwards.

I'm having one of my best friends over to see the my new house, the first person I've had here other than the two coworkers that helped us move.  Shes' one of the reasons I wanted to come here, so we'd be close enough to hang out more than twice or three times a year.  And I'm realizing my job has had a deeply negative effect on some of my behaviors.  I know I will enjoy the visit, it will be fun, and still I'm dreading it like mad.  I have this antisocial streak lying underneath a need for comp

On again/off again- In and OUT

The next several, haha, fifty plus years, were rather routine and uneventful.  My female identity surfaced again at college, and I enjoyed sleeping in lingerie. That lasted a while until I graduated, got a job and married and divorced.  That was a tough relationship;  can honestly say I don't believe that had any thing to do with my female tendency. Put that on hold again until the very end.  I think I rationalized that I was born cisgender male and proceeded to work to succeed in my biologicall

Love the One You're With

Although I live my life as a woman and am comfortable doing just about anything I still experience moments of gender dysphoria. For example, a couple of weeks ago I had a women's clothing "party" at my home where a clothing line's representative presented this Fall's new clothing to myself and four other women. All of us are friends but I was so on edge, comparing myself to them, wondering how much of an imposter I was actually perceived to be. Although I ordered some pretty clothes I was pretty
  • Emma

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