Significant Others

Hello , And WELCOME to the Newest Members of the Forum The Significant Others , I wanted to make a personal and Hopefully Helpful Starting point for those who are truelly Significan in our lives , so I am Adding this section For the Sole Purpose For the Significant Others To Meet one another . As You may have noticed this Forum and the other Forums are here for Learning , Growing , Understanding , And Supporting , and on occasion a great time of silly banter . I hope this becomes a large community of Loving and Supportive Members as well , we all find that we need a shoulder to cry on , an ear to listen to us when we have concerns , and a guiding answer to the Press…

This forum was started specifically for our significant others. Please feel free to invite your spouse, domestic partner or lover here to join our discussions. It could be interesting to see other points of view. I'm giving this forum a little extra publicity on our Twitter page as well as the home page of TGGuide. We can definitely use your help to spread the word! :)

HI I am 32 years old. I am now in a relationship with a FtM transsexual. This is my first time dealing with some one like this but i have been in a relationship with both man and women. Here lies the problem we are bumping in to. He is very man with him self and with others that have came be for me. I don't know if its what he went after only stright chicks i am his frist Bi. He tell me i don't understand what he is going though and maybe i don't i trully want to but every time i try to get in he pushes away. He has alot of pain and i just want to get him some help or some one to talk to to let him know there are others out there dealing with this too!! So if any one can …

We got married in 2008. That’s 12 years ago. She got her stimulus check today. It came under her maiden name. I asked her about it and her excuse was “I guess I forgot to go to Social Security”. If we had been married 6 months then that would be a valid excuse. She has been filing taxes for 12 years. So that means that for 12 years she has known that her name wasn’t changed. Does my name mean so little to her that she doesn’t bother to update anything? I told her that if it means so little that she just needs to go back to her maiden name and quit using mine. This hurts like hell. Where I grew up the last name meant a hell of a lot more than people from other areas would …

My wife is a natural female and we were married legally as man and women... I am a Trans MTF we would like to renew our vows on our 10 year anniversary. I'd like to this time be dresses in my own Wedding Dress as in our last wedding i had to dress in a male attire because of conditions not needed now. I was asking what people thought because at this point family and friends are aware of the transgender and mostly accepting. I'm a large girl and just afraid of looking nice a 26w. i have found some nice dresses in that size online but now sure how dress places would allow a MTF coming in to try on dresses? Any advice? Thanks Missy

Ok, my in laws have never liked me. That much has been clear through my entire marriage. Mainly it's because I don't come from money. Also I'm disabled. I'm in a wheelchair and will be for the rest of my life. For simplicity I'll call her MIL and him FIL. MIL and FIL are stuck up, entitled jerks. I want to use more explicit terms, but obviously, I can't here at TGG. Especially my mother-in-law. MIL has made comments throughout our relationship, both before the wedding and after. But after is when it got worse. A few years ago the 4 of us were out at Olive Garden. I made a joke with my wife and that was when MIL started threatening me with physical violence. Yet when I sai…

I have been an out and proud lesbian for well over a decade. I was set up with my now husband on a blind date that described him as female with facial hair. I literally stumbled when we were introduced because he was clearly male. After hearing him out, I decided that this person was kind and gentle with awesome intentions and a huge heart. We began to see one another as friends, eventually developed a relationship and 4 years later, legally wed. He had already been on testosterone therapy almost a decade when I met him. That said, he is very male appearing. I love him, I truly do. He is in his early 50s, pre-op and has plans on top surgery but perfectly happy wit…

How to be a trans ally: https://medium.com/matter/real-talk-with-trans-people-57b9aa3b91a8 emma

No one wants to contract HIV. I am somewhat unsure how to post this, but thought it important to share my own experience. I will depend on our moderators to determine its appropriateness. As a heterosexual female in what I believed to be an exclusive committed relationship, I would never have expected that J had been involved in 'risky sexual behavior". However, as I eventually discover, while trying to determine his sexual identity, a few years before meeting me, he had. He did not tell me because he was afraid to out himself. Because of fear, he had not been tested. There is a good chance that when you tell your SO/wife/partner that you want to become fem…

Hi. I'm new to the board, and I'm a transwife. My husband is pre-op, pre-T. We were legally same-sex married this year. He's planning on beginning the physical transition within the next 18 months. Once his name changes on his birth certificate, our marriage license will no longer be accurate. Do you know how this affects our marital status? Can any of you point me to links or resources that might help us figure out how to handle this particular set of legalities? Thanks in advance for your assistance!

I'm a mostly-closeted lesbian (not out to family or totally out within my community) married (second marriage) married to a wonderful, loving MTF who still mostly presents publicly as male (but not all the time). I'm not really ready to introduce myself in the general forums yet, but wanted to say hello here as a spouse. I will continue to read the forums and hope to contribute to the conversations!

Hi. I'm a bisexual gf to a MtF trans. Our relationship is really new, 2 months, but I really like him/her and hope this becomes a long term relationship. I'm here looking for sport, guidance, advice since I've never been with a transgender person before. Right now, in the town we live in, he is male 100% of the time when in public. In the privacy of his home, he relaxes and let's her true self shine. I'm attracted to him and her. However, I'm having trouble consolidating the two sides. I see him as him and her. Not as one person, but as 2 individuals. I'm afraid to refer to him as her on a regular basis when we're alone because I don't want to get used to it and slip whil…

I just found this article on Huffington Post and liked it a lot: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/georgia-kolias/the-secret-to-staying-together_b_6379276.html?utm_hp_ref=transgender Here's the closing paragraph which has, at least for me, some real wisdom: "The secret to staying together is staying together, but more than that it is caring enough to see the world through someone else's eyes and saying, I see you. Not just the bluster or hubris, but the soft core inside that is oftentimes hidden from the harshness of the world. I see you." Isn't that nice? I need to remember that. Perhaps we all do. We all have a soft core inside that is at times vulnerable and sca…

Hello, I'm Anichka. My husband of 26 years is going through the transition from male to female. She is on HRT and has legally changed her name. She wants to have the surgery. She has been out since January of this year, although we have known since January 2014. She told me back then, but I was so devastated that I cried for months so she tried to go back to dressing and acting like a man. I knew it wouldn't work, but I so wanted to believe that it would! So in January 2015 she told me that she just couldn't do it anymore and I told her that she should do whatever it is that she needed to do to be happy. More than anything I want her to be a happy, fulfilled perso…

Hello everyone!! My name is Vanessa Denise Capella, and I am a transsexual women a little more than a year into transition and feminine hormone replacement therapy. I am a dual degree (B.A. and M.A.L.S) student majoring in Liberal Studies, minoring in Women and Gender Studies, and concentrating in Sexuality Studies at Rutgers University (with full intentions and plans on attending Widener University for a MSW in Social Work and PhD in Human Sexuality afterwards). While I am concentrating in sexuality studies, I am more specifically specializing in LGBTQ sexuality, in which the transsexual and transgender sexuality issues are my area of concentration. Presently I am d…

In this post I would like to start of by having anyone that is transsexual or cissexual and who is willing to participate in my research with the topic of "The Process of Transitioning for Significant Others of Transsexuals" please (1) give me the basic (without names or using fictitious names) description of the type of relationship you are/were involved in, (2) the gender of each partner (trans-partner has pre transition and post transition/gender identified as listed), (3) sexual orientation of both partners (pre and post transition listed if different), (4) years together (pre marriage/civil union and years married/civil" union), (5) whether or not you and your part…

In this post I am really interested in knowing what questions ran through a spouse's mind or that they asked out loud within the first month or two after their spouse came out to them and informed them of their being transgender or transsexual. Rest assure that I can pretty much guarantee you that if you had/have a question them someone else has had it before you and someone else in the future will also have it after you. From the questions that spouses/significant others of transsexuals or a transgender person post as comments to this entry, I will research to find as much information relative to and really do hope I can find the answers to them for you as well as for …

SO after finally sorting through everything with Nikki, I"M BACK with another one. Today my son came out. Square one, nice to see you, it's been a while. At least this time I'm armed with information and can process this more coherently.

Ok , a starter subject , You have all of a sudden Just been told , or recently have been told : I am Trans,Gender Variant , Bi , A-sexual , InterSexed , Any of these and so many more , Please , For those Who have been told this and have found a way to make it work , please share , what the heck you thought , what happened during the course leading up till now , the Highs The Lows , So many want to know the other side of the coin , we can all set here all day and night speculating and guessing , Yet in no way will we know just how this effected , every aspect of your lives together , and Yours , Because you Are truell the Special Person , who through all odds has made t…

Ok , you may not have been in a relationship where your partner had finally came to you in a broken state , attempting to clearly tell you about their life suffering or involved in : You went out Seaching for Some one you knew held that special quality about them , and You found and entered into a relationship with them , Because of who they were or was it because they had issue with or suffered from any verious form of Gender variance . Please tell us and the other SO's , what drew you to what society considers to be Taboo , or Wrong . Thanks and A Big Hug , You Are a Special Person we all would be Lucky to Know, and become friends with. Stephani

I know that this is a question that is often asked when our significant others learn about who we are and the real person that has been hidden away , often years before we come out to our SO or Family members ... So please share what about the family how has this affected the family?

Simple yet not so simple as we find out and it starts becoming known to those around our circles ( significant others or family ) that it does affect how we are percieved by society .

If you found a support group in your area please share so many Significant Others Dont know were to turn and if you found support in an area others may live close to they might bennefit from your leed . Was it a local LBGT center , a group , a church that is LBGT friendly and supportive , did you start a support network for those in the area .

I happened to hear part of this on the local NPR station this afternoon and was fortunate to find it on the web when I returned home. It's from the BBC (I think) and is a married couple, the man who is a crossdresser, his wife finds out, and how they handle it. It's lovely, I think: https://soundcloud.com/thirdcoast/re-sound-182-the-its You can listen to the specific story I'm referring to by clicking on the timeline (the upper portion) until the time readout at the left shows 15:20. It's over at 22:50.

How much of an affect do you think kids of Gf to FTM would take the news when they get older. Should they even know? If all they know is Daddy? Would like your opinions or experiences.