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It's been a while since I wrote here, so I thought I would fill in some of what's going on...I am doing well with myself. My folks are coming to grips with me being me, and my sister is still my biggest cheerleader.
Now for the moving forward bit. I had my annual physical this past Friday, and my doctor is sending me to an endocrinologist for the purpose of starting HRT. I am also still thinking about surgery, and now leaning in favor of surgery.
Thanks for reading my randomness.
I was coming home this evening and listening to the local radio station, taking advantage of being in an area with actual radio coverage is nice, it was a traditional Scottish tunes show they were playing a Military two step, and it hit me. If I am going to be Dee I am going to have to learn how to dance again!
Scottish country dancing is done in village halls across the highlands at every wedding and major event - especially New Years and is something you learn to do at school- but I have
Well, this week (today), took my first doses for HRT.🙋♀️😊. Spiro and estrogen injection. Should have started one week ago, but one screw up after another delayed things unnecessarily. First my lab results were not timely faxed from my PCP to my Gender Specialist. Friday, Monday calls then finally Tuesday morning when they still weren't faxed I had to demonstrate what Jess can be like on hormones and they were sent right over despite being available since the previous Friday. Then it was tim
This week I have finally started to become emotionally okay with being Transgender. Intellectually I knew it months ago, but internally I have been fighting it whether I meant to or not. Being transgender was great for other people, but just a headache and not okay for me. It messes up too may areas in my life.Thanks to the support and encouragement from many of the people I have met online I am starting to look at it differently and without quite so much of the panic and feelings of being suck
My ex wife was on the phone today as we sorted out the childcare for the upcoming Easter holidays and swapped updates with how the children are getting on at school (currently my son lives with me and my daughter lives with her during the week and we alternate weekends with both - it will change to just 50% during holidays soon as my ex is almost certainly going to be moving out of the area and my daughter will want to go with her mum - our kids are about as happy as they can be in the circumsta
Well. I had that long anticipated and dreaded "talk" with my son today that his Dad was transgender. He's 23 years old; we're very. very close, and have gotten even closer since his mother passed away. He works in a field that typically is full of "transgender bashing jokes", and has had very little if any exposure to the reality of gender diversity. All he has heard comes from his peers who are equally clueless. So, he came over today and I told him that I had something very important to di
Last week I had an opportunity to attend my second Transgender Conference in Pennsylvania; having only attending my first just 8 weeks earlier in Boston. I hadn't really definitively planned to, but another TG member offered to share the cost of accommodations at the Convention Center and the schedule fell in line with my planned travel from Florida to NY. My first Event, in Boston, appropriately billed as The First Event, was a big test for me. Having preparing for many years to step out in
I shaved properly (with a razor instead of my electric shaver) for the first time since my laser this morning and because I knew I would have the house to myself i put on my prettiest black dress and a pair of heels I bought ages ago but will never wear out because the heels are far too impractical... I wanted to see if it made me feel girly as I feel like Dee has been very quiet recently, not gone just not as loud or as certain as she has been. After teetering around making myself a late breakf
OK, probably not a unique experience here, but, on Sunday I was at the apartment I still pay rent for to discuss some things with my wife, when as I am about to leave, our pastor shows up...I know she is doing it out of love, but it felt like an intervention. As a result of this, I had no choice but to withdraw myself from everything with my congregation as of yesterday...it's sad, but i felt it necessary.
I feel a bit strange, weird, different (whatever you want to call it) when I come here. I'm more misanthropic than you can know. I absolutely despise the human race. But here at this forum it's different. I've grown to care a great deal for the people here. I feel for the first time in my life that I have an extended family of people who care for me as well. But I don't know how to process it. Also I'm sitting here waiting for it to all come crashing down, like everything else in my life has. Wh
How do you even start to present female when your face is this rough all the time?
Without being able to shave I am constantly being reminded of my facial hair as it catches on all my work shirts. I expected the sunburn feeling but my face looks hideous at the moment and I hate it.
After 4 days the dark hairs are still pushing their way out so my stubble is really rough, looks really obvious all the time even after I attempted to shave because I had to go and see someone, you would ne
It is official, my wife and I are now separated. I can now be Tilly all the time except at work...I think I am going to hold off on that change until the hair can match who I am...it is at least growing fast.
My folks are coming to town next weekend, they know that the wife and I are separated, but I will talk to them about why then.
With all my love,
I can’t wait for this weekend! I’m getting my first pedicure! What color should I get? Also I really want to go shopping to try on clothes and shoes just not what is the method to do it. Thinking about going to target or Walmart just not sure what sizes I should be looking for.
My wife asked me flatly if I am going to transition fully this evening. I'm not sure if she meant surgically or not, but I had to say probably. I hate making her cry, but I couldn't outright lie to her. The time that I spend as Tilly is the happiest and most relaxed time that I can remember recently. But I don't know if I can handle breaking my wife's heart. I know that if I don't do this I am lying to myself, and it will hurt me worse in the long run.
Yours in emotional pain,
I was wondering if this happens to others? Since i have grown my small Breasts, when I sneeze my nipples get erect. This may or may not be unusual. I have asked a sis female and she thought it was weird saying no it doesn't happen to her. Yet, I wonder if it is just unique to me. This didn't happen to me when my nipples were flat on my chest ha ha.
I have just been told by my ex partner that she got engaged to her new man last night and my brain is struggling to absorb the information. I was looking after the 3 dogs this weekend with the children to allow her to travel down and hand our divorce papers in and then go for a hospital appointment today that had implications for a possible op so I was trying to help alleviate stress. I knew she would probably meet up with her man but that was not really a big deal, but promising to marry him ki
OK, I had a really weird thought cross my mind today. I said before that I was surprised when I realalized that I was crushing on my best friend, now that is gone to a new level. While I was snuggling into him, I had a daydream pass my brain that scared me at first, then made me smile and snuggle a little closer. I thought about taking him as a girl would. For a second I thought I was going crazy, but then i thought, 'hey, he's a nice guy, why wouldn't I.'
Again, just my odd thoughts,
I initially titled this an ally - but after forgetting to put the space in when I typed it in google to check my spelling I changed my mind 😳
I travelled down the road last night with my children to stay at my sisters house, we both have daughters who were born on the same day and so while cousins they often look and behave as twins. (My two younger sisters who I am yet to tell about my trans feelings are twins so I really do know). Once the kids had been sent to bed I got to sit up and ha
Last weekend was a long weekend off for me, Friday, Sat, Sun and Monday off from my "retirement" part time job with a Medi- Transportation Co., picking up clients and bringing them to their medical appointments. Was looking forward to the continuity of being able to live life just as Jess, and I did just that. By Monday night, I dreaded Tuesday having to return to boy mode and go back to work. That evening, I got my text from the boss, also a business friend, for Tuesday's assignment asking
Well, I ordered Pueraria Mirifica, if it works as it is supposed to, I will start to develop a bit upstairs, along with some other benefits. When my wife notices, I have a feeling she will just leave...or kick me out. I think I am beyond caring because I am as calm about this as I have been about anything in quite a while.
I love you all,
I do not mean it in that way before anyone panics. I just like the play on words...
I was just reading a blog by someone who identified themselves as an INFJ woman - a lot of what she wrote made sense, and the 3 times I have done Meyers Briggs I have always been INFP. Sometimes I drift a little but it comes as no surprise, given the emotional turmoil I have gone through in the last 6 months I thought I would give it a go and see where I classify - I took maybe 3 minutes to answer
Well my wife actually delivered an ultimatum, if I transition, she will divorce me. Part of me wants to just get it over with, but I totally don't want to hurt my daughter. I don't know if spending time with friends every so often as my true self will be enough. She knows that I cross dress when i am with them and showed serious displeasure when I try told her.
I wish I could have gotten an initial appointment with a therapist before April 3. I really need professional help.
When I was 15 or so my friend and I discovered the self printing business card machine in the local shopping centre. We were always on the lookout for a cheap way to spend the most time when we were out so we promptly hatched a plan that seemed hilarious to us at the time. We printed out 250 business cards that said (something along the lines of)
We are the fashion police.
You are under arrest for crimes against fashion."
And for the afternoon we became the fash