Blogs

Tuesday In Seattle

Today it poured all day, not just drizzled. Wanted to make the most of my trip and I did not want to stay in my hotel room. Had a choice of visiting the physical Blick Art Materials Store in Seattle or the Seattle Public Library Central Library, but not both. Checked the websites of both, and I chose the library hands-down! Am a library enthusiast, and I fell in love with the library from the moment I saw it from the bus. The architecture was just amazing and the library was just huge,

January 6, 2020

A very Happy New Years

In Scotland I think Hogmanay is a bigger celebration than Christmas. There are ceilidh dances, street parties and house parties up and down the nation and the government encourages it because the ridiculous amount of alcohol that gets consumed is backed up by the fact that both the 1st and 2nd of January are considered public holidays. It has been quite a few years since I have gone out on New Years, this year there were some tentative plans made with friends, but they fell by the wayside

January 2, 2020

Struggling to sleep

I have just had a wonderful Christmas week with both of my children, yesterday I had to take them down the road so they could go or a week with my ex and have a 2nd Christmas, our agreement was to alternate the holidays and she had Christmas last year. I am awake again after less than 4 hrs sleep due to a nightmare in which male me was out walking with my mum and we discouraged two kids out playing on their own from going into an abandoned property with broken windows, in my dream the owner

December 29, 2019

Emma Sweet's Blog

Happy Holidays

As we near the end of 2019 I am reflecting on the last few years. In 2014 after 57 years of suppressed shame I finally started sharing my feelings, fantasies, wishes and dreams with a therapist. With his encouragement and support I spent a lot of time on the web trying to learn more. It was then that I even learned of the word "transgender." I loved it; it felt right I never liked the words transvestite or transexual, both of which sent my shoulders up toward my ears. I joined TGGuide late

Emma

December 23, 2019

Learning to grow

PSA for those with depression(or who just snore).

If you are suffering from depression, and snore, please ask your doctor for a sleep apnea test. Or if you just snore, as it can have long term effects that build slowly. This is not a cure. Depression can have MANY causes, and I'm not touting any snake oil easy card. But recent experiences for both Nikki and I have given me some new knowledge about the links between depression and the damage sleep apnea can do to you, and the difference for both of our cases has been astronomical since w

Briannah

December 11, 2019

Blackangel Happenings

I Think She Wants Out

Even though she tells me otherwise, I can see in my wife's eyes that she wants out so she can find a "real man". I think the only reason she stays with me is because of my disability. She feels like she has to take care of me or something. I wish I didn't have to put her through this, and that I could give her what she wants. Sometimes I feel like I should de-transition and go back to being him. Give her what she needs. She needs a man. I don't want to lose her, so if I have to take the blow the

Blackangel

December 11, 2019

Soliloquy to Rick

I'd like to start by saying that I am deadnaming myself here. I hope that does not offend anyone here. You see, I don't think of myself as Rick any longer, that is past. But I believe, no matter who we are, we owe thanks to who we were yesterday; last week; last month; last year and so forth. So please read on an remember I am referencing someone who I am very fond and proud of, even if he no longer exists. Thank you. Soliloquy to Rick Sitting comfortably one evening, I reflect on the

December 10, 2019

My First Monday In Seattle . . . Looking At Public Housing

Early Monday morning I looked at my first choice in public housing. Wrote off my second choice because it was three miles from the nearest bus stop and it was a run down house that catered to hippies, on the top of a very steep hill. The third choice was also three miles from the nearest bus stop and far into the boondocks, not near anything. Thanks to my friend, Emma, she researched my three choices before I arrived, saving me long bus trips on my second and third choices, and affirming

December 10, 2019

I'm selfish - But it's not necassarily wrong!

I’m Selfish In July 2016, I heard the worst news of my life. My wife of 26 years (the love of my life) was diagnosed with cancer and it was terminal. My family was crushed. We knew life would never be the same again. What I did not know at the time was that my life long struggle with gender identity was coming to a head. I had an internal struggle that even I could not recognize for what it was, even after struggling for so many decades, the de

December 9, 2019

Splitting Hairs

On Tuesday and Wednesday I shaved my legs (30 minutes and 2 razors for each leg! ), on Thursday I used depilatory cream on my chest and under arms (I like the ease but it never takes it all away roughly 10 mins including the rinse to make sure the cream is all off afterwards) and today I shaved my arms (30 mins for both). 😮😫 After being hairy again for so long - I cannot remember the last time I de-fuzzed entirely but it is almost like a literal weight has been lifted. I feel so much

November 15, 2019

My First Weekend In Seattle . . .

After sleeping in at the hotel's pillow soft bed, trying to recover from three days riding coach on AMTRAK, I visited "Gay City," Seattle's LGBT Center. Intended to visit for two hours, from 1 PM to 3 PM, the Asexual Support Group, which I found very informative. After the Asexual Support Group, I wanted to visit for two hours, from 3 PM to 5 PM, the Lesbian Social Group, but I had to cancel as my back was acting up on the folding chair I was sitting on. Following the Asexual Support Group, w

November 12, 2019

DebraMichelle

SOs in my past and current SO in my life now

SOs in my past and current SO in my life,it wasn't easy at first.The 4 SOs I dated before I met my wife Choe were not supportive,they wanted me to purge and get rid of the wardrobe.I told them no,had to do the transformation when they were gone or go to a friend's house to do the transformation.I broke up with the first 3 SOs.Made the mistake of getting married to the 4th one and had her put in jail.She decided to attempt to steal my femme wardrobe and sell it.Did try to deny it,caught on video

DebraMichelle

November 9, 2019

Truisms

I have been feeling very much ill over the last few days, but this evening I saw a a post online that gave me some food for thought, because it very much speaks to my struggle over the last year:

November 6, 2019

Blackangel Happenings

Nonhuman > Human

I don't value human life at all. Not even my own. It means nothing to me. I value nonhuman life. Be it a reptile, fish, amphibian, bird, or mammal. As long as it's not human. Why? Partially, because they are honest. They don't lie to you for personal gain. You can trust them to be honest. Their instinct is what guides them. With humans, it's the opposite. What guides us is greed. Everyone is always chasing the almighty dollar. Some just want to get by having what they need, and maybe a couple lu

Blackangel

November 4, 2019

My First Day In Seattle!

Although I was exhausted, I took advantage of the King Street Railroad Station only being a block away from the offices of Sound Transit to pick up an ORCA card, which is $8.00 per day ($4.00 per day if you are a senior (65 or older), or disabled, which I highly recommend. The ORCA card is good for the bus, ferry, streetcar, light rail, and heavy rail. Bought eight days, and it is loaded onto one card, and I can not recommend it enough. Much better than paying cash, and you save a lot of mone

November 3, 2019

Feeling my feelings while walking the line

I was chatting online recently with someone about kilts and what makes one menswear and the other ladieswear, I sent an edited picture of me in a kilt when I was best man at someones wedding a few years ago and he made the comment: "If I didn't know about Dee, I would have assumed confident, rugged dude in a kilt, not realizing the dude would prefer to wear a cute plaid skirt and heels. " There is a lot of truth in this and a part of what made me say that I must be trans as well as w

Characteristics That Shout Being Female

October 30, 2019

Weight is a second Major factor

The average weight of women world wide is about 169 pounds - wow! Does seem like a lot. The most I ever weighed in my life was 170. Currently I am at 160 and going back down.

Dawn13

October 27, 2019

Characteristics That Shout Being Female

Looking at height - really is a first determinate

The average height of women in the US is 5'4" But in parts of Europe can be 5'7" In the US men are close to 6'

Dawn13

October 27, 2019

Two Cities and a Huge Warehouse at Night . . .

Dear Friends, On the train ride from Poughkeepsie, NY to Seattle, WA, during the night, I encountered two beautiful cities at night (Cleveland, OH and Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN. In between these two cities, we passed Milwaukee WI where I encountered many huge warehouses (3 - 4 city blocks on each edge) the largest of which was an Amazon Distribution Center. Also passed a huge Miller High Life beer plant there, too. Met wonderful people on the train, including a best selling Western au

October 26, 2019

Inner Voice

I have been going out and walking/jogging to a couch to 5km app, when I first started in May I had done half a dozen park runs where again I had mostly walked, my motivation was to get out and do something because most of the time I do not want to go out or do anything, I was also putting all the weight back on that I had lost before Christmas last year. I have some really nice second hand clothes and if I am going to have to come out in front of my friends and family at some point then I want