Male to Female (MtF) Transsexual Discussion

Last month was my birthday or rather my rebirth day. Just over a year ago I received SAS in Montreal. While the surgery did not make me whom I am today, it did mark a major milestone in aligning my body, mind and spirit. SAS does not make one better, happier, more content or more together. The same challenges that existed before transition still exist. Maybe not to the same degree, but the need for acceptance, understanding and peace remains in one form or another. Physically my appearance is that of a woman, yet inside my life remains complex, some days are a self-inflicted mixture of small difficulties, and a smaller list of perceived successes as a woman. Diffic…

Me, im confused and hurting Hi i posted some info on myself on the internet well not all, after reading some of the storys Well, I feel a little more confortable about explaingin who I am. First of all I am a Veteran, Desert Shield. I am living as a man. and Im Male/female. I question my own gender daily. I was raised as a boy, served in the USMC as man. Found out during an MRI examination of my lower back(I was shot in Iraq) that I was intersexed. I was 24 when that happened. Im 39 now. Single, I dont date, Because women generally dont understand how complex it is. I have had plenty of testing done. I've attempted to get my childhood medical records. And while I've g…

*warning, long, meandering and more or less pointless, read at your own risk* For the first time since I started my current job, almost four years ago, I took a vaction. That's not remarkable, but it triggered a lot of feelings that I don't understand. For years now I've been depressed, drinking heavily, cutting myself and living in near complete isolation. I had decided that I wanted to change that but nothing really changed (well, the cutting and drinking part, but that didn't lead to any other changes.) Medication and therapy haven't made much difference that I can see. Being away from my day to day life was shocking. I made some decisions about my life that…

Today i got my first 2 scripts from the doctor for spiro and avodart. I believe that they are both once a day for now. The doctor told me to think about how i want to take the hormones. 1. Build up the estrogen 2. Build up the spiro. or 3. slowly build them both up together. I decided that i wanted to start off with the spiro and get rid of my testosterone first. I have looked on many sites and havent found any answers for sure, but i was wondering if from anyone of you gals who have taken spiro, what exactly in terms of bodily change can you expect? The doc said that i will notice changes in my hair after a while, but i was also wondering what other changes will come…

Hey Everyone, Been a while since I posted on this board. I'm going in for FFS. I'm really looking forward to the new me. However, anytime I have surgery I get a little scared. I'm just praying that I get the results that my plastic surgeon says I wil. I have been on Harmones for almost 7 months now! Things have really been going great. Just waiting for my divorce to go thru. Please wish me luck. I will show the results when I'm done. Hugs, Kellie Anne

Greeetings Has anyone used the injectable pellet therapy? I am talking about these little tablets the size of grain of rice that is inserted into the butt, stomach, thigh, etc. It would seem like the perfect option for the estrogens. They are bioidentical and you would only need a "refill" every 4-6 months. To be a little cynical here... I have posed this question on other boards and have gotten little response. Could it be that so many are taking hormones without a Drs oversight (ie. meds over the net)? These would definately need a Drs intervention to get them. Thx. Leslie

So like all of you I'm sure I have slowly been taking small steps before I finally decided that I needed to transition. It started with plucking my eyebrows, then I started shaving my legs and my armpits and any other nasty body hair I have, then started wearing a little makeup occasionally, all the while telling myself I wasn't a transsexual I just liked be a little more feminine. Well then it gets to that point where you realize that guys don't do any of this, and that you feel so much more comfortable being girly and you just want to be a girl. Well I'm writing because after finally getting to that point, and starting on a lowdose testosterone blocker, I'm at an int…

Well, i did come out to my parents a couple weeks ago and it seemed to go fairly well. But one thing that has been troubling me is that my mom keeps asking if there is anything thing else thats not so drastic i can do rather than transition. She along with saying that say that there is nothing at all from my childhood and growing up that would make her think even a little bit that i was feminine. For as long as i've known i've had these feelings inside, i've known that they were different and unique. I knew that they were not something i should be open about and thus i began to keep them hidden. I put on quite a front as a male. I did really what ever i could to be "no…

This post is primarily in response to Pantau's question about western therapists. Do they really help or do they try to "fix us". I have only been seeing a therapist for 6 months. I found my therapist on my own , I was first refused a theapist as I am not able to come in as often as they wanted. With a bit of persistence thet recommended a therapist to me , she is wonderful , very understanding and supportive . Most importantly she is not trying to "fix" me , and she has helped me to find confidence and courage to be myself , I am still not completely out yet but I am miles ahead of where I started. I do know however that there are those who will just put there stamp on y…

Hey, I dont know if this answer is possible for any of you but ill give it a shot. I live in New York, and was wondering what about hormones cost. I may be off health insurance for a few months but dont want that to delay me. Just wondering what on average they cost out of pocket? What are you girls paying for them? thanks <3 Briana <3

Hi All. I have allready done all the groundwork and reasearch for the topic Suicide. reasons and Rates of for transsexuals. This is for an online magazine on a transgendered web site. So I know you are all smart people. So I wondered if any of you know of any good research paers or articles I should read ? I have already a lot of material to draw upon,but the knowledge base for this subject is close to nil. Or the quantity of subjects/ individual's questioned or in any survey's are such a small number typically from 50 -500. This is a ridiculous number for a study. But there are difficulties such as the number of transwomen / Men who go stealth at some stage…

keep in mind that I have been using my feminine voice every day now. A friend that I have known for awhile (he knew me before my transition), called me the other day. He knows I am in transition, but I haven't talked to him since I started using my feminine voice. I knew it was him by the phone number showing on the display. I answered the phone in my feminine voice which I am using pretty much all the time now. He said, oh, I'm sorry Ma'am I must have the wrong number and he hung up before I could say wait, wait, no it's me. I messaged him and said hey, did you just call me? You had the right number, that really was me. LOL, we shared a laugh ove…

I was trying to find a book that I had seen and heard was a good read but I am told it does not excist , can anyone help me with this ? The book is "True selfs" ? do I have the title correct and if anyone can tell me who is the author ? Thanks ladies.

I went to the post office to pick up a registered mail package today The lady said, can I see your drivers license? I said sure, here's my license. (keep in mind I haven't updated my legal stuff yet to have my new girl name, or new girl pic yet, but will soon) The lady at the counter said: well, this is all very nice, but who are you? I need to see your drivers license. LMAO. I said, well, that is me, for a little bit longer until I get all of my legal paperwork changed. She said, Oh my goodness, I am so sorry, you look great, I didn't even suspect anything at all. She apologized, went and got the package After she came back,. we talked f…

Hello All I decided that tomorrow will be the big day that i come out. my dad is working afternoon/nights, so it will just be me and my mom home. Since i feel more comfortable talking with her i decided this would be the perfect time to tell her. I wrote up a letter and i'm going to show it/ go over it with my therapist today to make sure everything is well written, and worded right. I've gone over it again and again and i feel pretty comfortable with how it turned out. So as long as everything seems ok when i go over it with my therapist today then tomorrow is the day i do it. My emotions are going crazy, and i can actually feel them stirring up inside (if that makes …

Hello All, I've been visiting the board lately but not posting much. There is lots of fascinating things going on around here. Though neither TS nor much into sports I am curious as to how the athletic world accepts trans-folk. Are there all sorts of 'roadblocks' to participation? Would a MtF be considered to have an unfair advantage? Either perceived or realistically? How do hormones figure into this? Do you have to be concerned about brittle bones as elderly GG? While several questions have been thrown out for starters, I'm hoping this thread will be used to address the topics of sports participation in general and go beyond these initial questions. Please f…

I've been reading a book about depression and helping oneself through it, learning to avoid ways of thinking and situations that make oneself depressed. So when I get a night like tonight, where I would usually just shut down and do something as mindless as possible until I can sleep (say, reading) .. I guess a commonly recommended strategy is to refocus one's energy towards activities that usually make one feel good about oneself, encourage positive feedback and so forth. This comes and goes for me, depending on who knows what. I have a pretty good idea what started it tonight. There is some part of me that finds this dispassionately interesting because it's just an e…

I just had to tell everyone that I just received my second opinion regarding SRS. I'm so happy! For some reason I was really worried I would be refused, but after an hour long interview the doctor had no problem referring me for surgery. I still have to wait for everything to be processed by the Alberta government so I can get my finding, but that will only take a few weeks at most. Once that's done I can book an appointment in Montreal and then I only need to wait a few months! After a lifetime of waiting it's hard to believe it's so close.

Those of you who know me are aware that I have been "out" everywhere except work. However, the past 3 weeks I have been coming out at work more and more. several months ago, I started wearing nail polish at work. A month ago, I got my ears pierced, and have been wearing the stud earrings all the time. For the last three weeks at work, I have been wearing eyeshadow, mascara, all girl clothes, I have been wearing jeans, blouses, panties, pantyhose, woman's shoes, bracelet, my cute dainty woman's watch, etc. Thursday I will take it yet another step and wear high heels, I have already advised a couple of people that I will be wearing high heels on Thursda…

Hello everyone! I am new here and thought I should introduce myself. My name is Megan and I am a transexual woman living in Virginia. I have known all of my life who I am, but for the better part of 30 years was too afraid to embrace it for fear of hurting people I love. I still have that fear but am more afriad of what might happen if I continued to live a lie. Right now I am working with a therapist, having my facial hair removed, am newly active in a support group, hoping I will be given the okay to begin hormone therapy and living as a woman about 25% of the time. I am out to the people I am closest with and all have been more accepting and supportive th…

It wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. The best part was the questionaire the nurse wrote out before we started. Have any of the women in your family had breast cancer? Have you yourself ever had any kind of cancer? Are you taking any hormones or birth control pills? I told her that I've been on estradiol for 2 1/2 years. What would you say was your approximate age when you had your first period? At this point I started to laugh. Then I told her that I'm transsexual. Oh! I couldn't tell. So you never had a period. I guess I don't need to ask the one about giving birth either. I'm sorry if the question was embarrasing. No, I didn't think it was e…

Hi Girls, Reading about the family problems of Chen Ming, I almost feel hesitant to write about my own situation. The things I am experiencing seem insignificant compared to his. I spoke to my parents on the phone for nearly an entire minute. I wanted to tell them about my plans to start HRT at the end of the month and the appointment I made with one of the best SRS surgeons in Thailand. They weren’t interested. They said they were too busy to speak to me. Fortunately, Pantau wasn't too busy to see me and we spent some significant time together. These days I identify with transsexuals and I start to feel upset if anyone consider transsexuals to be freaks. Opening up…

I mentioned my in-laws had been told and were supportive. Well, my mother in law had been told anyway, and made some ominous sounding comments about my father-in-law. They talked today, my wife got ahold of her dad, they ended with a near yelling match, dad's at home depressed, the parents have been talking with each other and the rest of the family as if they only heard half of what my wife said (and none of the "it's a medical thing" parts). Some angry remarks were made about how it's inappropriate for us to have children now, and from my wife, how we'll damned well have whatever sort of family we want and they can go to hell if they don't like it. Egads. Damage Cont…

Dear All, I'm a post-op woman who had SRS with colon graft vaginoplasty in 2005 in India, and introitus revision in 2006 in Thailand. Both surgeries left my vaginal entrance too small, although on examination the inner canal is adequate in diameter and depth. Aside from this, I've been experiencing frequent arousals from my genital area, even when just merely touched on the face or hands. I know that many post-SRS women experience orgasmic episodes, of which I am lucky to be among. This excessive sexual stimulation is becoming uncomfortable; awake or sleeping, I experience powerful orgasms then find out that some clear fluid in the clitoral/urethral areas wer…

Hi Girls, I have a swimming pool-issue. It's like over 90 degrees in Bangkok and every time I look down from my balcony I see this fabulous swimming pool in the garden and I really want to have a swim. Actually, it's never busy at the pool, though there must be like 500 people living in this building, but I have no idea what to wear when I want to have a swim. For a month or so I go out into the world as a girl. That is, I don't really dress very differently from what I was used to or use make up (because of my long hair and feminine face/body people already assume I am a girl). It's interesting, because before, I would leave my home thinking: I am a feminine boy, but …