MonicaPz

Dear DeeDee, It is hard to tell one child and not another. This happened to me. I was 19 years old and I learned I had a half-brother (and my father was married before). What really hurt was that my youngest brother was told at age 9! And my older brothers even earlier. We became a "secret-keeping family," where I had to "guess" at reality!! Two comments I would like to make: Women can be as strong as men, if not stronger. Just look at all the single mothers out there. Homosexuality and being transgender tends to run in families. Am a cisgender mid-butch Lesbian, and my middle brother is bi-sexual (I suspect he is "all the way Gay," because he married early and truly explored his sexuality in his 40's, and he and his wife are still together because they have long-term serious illnesses and come from extremely homophobic families). In my opinion, when people are living together, if you tell one, you have to tell all, at the level of their understanding. In AA and Al-Anon, there's a saying, "you are as sick as your secrets." This doesn't mean to spill your guts publicly, but to live authentically. Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Dear DeeDee, Have three brothers and a half brother. Would have given anything for a sister! Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Dear DeeDee, Am so proud of how your mother handled it. Do you have any brothers and sisters? If you have no sisters, your mother can enjoy having the daughter she always wanted. If you have brothers, your mother won't miss having lost a son so much. The beautiful thing is, she hasn't lost a child! Joyfully yours, Monica

Dear Friends, Have a double King Size bedded room at The Boat Slip Resort while I attend the Fantasia Fair from Sunday, October 17th to Sunday, October 24th. Seeking a platonic female roommate. To learn more about Fantasia Fair and The Boat Slip Resort, check it out by Googling "Fantasia Fair." Please drop me a PM to learn more. Thank you for considering me as your roommate. Yours truly, Monica

Love your new haircut, Emma!

Dear DeeDee and Jessica, Very sad about this situation when it is not necessary (same with racism). Don't think a curfew for men only would really help, as it punishes the good men as well as the bad. Not sure if a curfew for everyone would work, either. The bottom line is that there are good and bad men and women. Hate is a people problem that can only be solved by love. You may want to learn about sociopathology at: https://www.lovefraud.com Hope this helps. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Dawn, Can't help but recall that I was at a Hallowe'en party and I saw this cute girl in a cat costume. Was chatting her up and I was about to ask her out, when s girlfriend stepped up and let me know I was talking to a Gaymale wearing a woman's cat costume! Then I was apologizing all over myself! Your friend, Monica

Dear DeeDee, May I ask, is Scotland going through snowstorms/blizzards and/or the COVID-19 pandemic at this time? Are other transgender people having the same difficulties as you, and how are they addressing it? Try to make slow but steady progress during these trying times. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Yours truly, Monica

Dear friends, Michele, you share the name of one of my beautiful nieces! Love the picture of you in your home! (above) Maria, yes, too much stress is destructive. But we require a minimal amount of stress to activate us to get things done. All you ladies are demonstrating how to make the most of your lives, and I admire all of you for it! Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Dear Dee and Jessica, It seems to me that relations with siblings are more complicated than that with parents. That said, I feel that it is important to be open to reconciliation with all family members. However, some will take longer than others . . . Please allow me to emphasize that although you should be open to reconciliation, that does not mean to allow others to treat you like a doormat or mistreat you in any way. Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Dear Dee, Communication is key. Seems like there is some serious reconciliation going on here! So happy 😊 for you both! Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Dear Dee, Would love to share a cup of coffee with you anytime. And I am sure any of our members would, too! Your fellow coffee lover, Monica

Dear Dee, Good point! LOL! Your friend, Monica

Dear Emma and Jessica, My dear mother, may God rest her soul, would always say that to me, that love finds you, not the other way around. Was told by a Catholic priest that love is a choice. What do you 🤔 think? Your friend, Monica

Dear Emma, Amazingly, several friends of mine these past few months have found love on Internet dating websites, after years of frustration. Perhaps the COVID-19 pandemic have helped women to be more sensible? Am so happy for you! Your friend, Monica

Dear Dezzy and Dee, There are basically two kinds of purposes on Internet websites: exploring fantasy and exploring reality. There are healthy and unhealthy reasons for exploring fantasy. The bottom line is that you are being as honest with yourself as possible. Everybody is always in a state of transition. For example, I am a different person 6 months ago than I am now, a year ago I am even more different than today, 2 years, etc. That's called growth. In my case, I try to be a better and more authentic person as time goes by. When I get stuck, I am not ashamed to seek out counseling. Many of our members participate in the website, "Second Life," although I am not familiar with it. You may ask our members how they may have benefitted from Second Life. As I see it, Second Life is a stepping stone for some of our members. Also, I would try to read about the "coming out" stories that many of our members have posted here. Think you may resonate with many of their stories. Perhaps invite our members to share their coming out stories with you. Hope this helps you. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Dee, At the beginning, you may want to "compartmentalize" your life. Must warn you, this is not healthy in the long run, but works in the short term. For instance, some people break down their friends into groups, such as "activity friends," "work mates," and "school friends," etc. Ideally, your goal is to present the same way to everyone. That's why they call it "transition," you are going from 'A' to 'Z,' but with a lot of steps in between. Hope this helps. Your friend, Monica

Dear Dee, Give her the short list, but keep the long list in case she asks for more. She is there not just for you to "check all the boxes," but to help you develop the resilience for your journey. Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Dear Dee, Seems like you have a good and responsible counselor! Your truly, Monica

Dear Raina, You are a very courageous woman. Am very impressed how you are dealing with your reality head-on. Please keep writing - that is how you will heal! You are well on your way to finding your authentic self!! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Dee, To learn more about "gaslighting," Google "gaslighting," and search "gaslighting" on YouTube. Highly recommend books by Donna Andersen and Amber Ault. Donna Andersen also has a wonderful website: https://www.lovefraud.com On Tuesdays, Donna Andersen has a live YouTube channel at 8 PM EST. You are a good woman and a good mother, Dee! Your friend, Monica

Dear Dee, You look great! Actually, when a man gets married, his wife takes on the job of dressing him. Before that, his mother dresses him. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Dawn, You look like you belong in the Star Wars movie! Your costume looks professionally made! 🎃 Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Dear Dee, Gorgeous flowers for a gorgeous woman! Happy birthday 🎂🎈 🎇 to a beautiful woman! Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Dear Mike and Dawn, Hate groups and haters will find any excuse to hate. Had someone call me a "red head," because I have a red undertone in my hair, trying to say that meant I had a bad temper, excusing their hate. Hair color has no correlation to temperament. People who hate will excuse their hate by any silly reason. Your friend, Monica