Emma

Christy: Thanks for your comment! Rock what you got girl! Monica: Weight and disability are such huge challenges that I know you must face. I feel so fortunate, I really do. I also agree that your challenges make it a lot harder to find dating partners. The thing to do, which I know you're doing, is to get out there, regardless of whatever we are challenged with, and show the world your pretty face and delightful personality. Bree: Thanks! I sent Peanut's photo to Nordstrom yesterday; they also loved it and are forwarding it to their marketing group. Who knows, maybe she'll be famous! She's certainly Top Cat in my house!

Like Christy, I’ll never go back. I’ve never felt as good as I do now. Like you, Jessica, I suffered a lot over the decades. Good grief, what a struggle. Coming out into one’s authentic self is scary and fulfilling, like tackling a complicated project that you’re not sure you can handle. The joys of incremental progress are phenomenal.

Sounds like a terrific plan to me, Michelle. You gotta live somewhere and $686/month is pretty low. Best wishes on a smooth sale of your house and fun times setting up your new home!

Although I live my life as a woman and am comfortable doing just about anything I still experience moments of gender dysphoria. For example, a couple of weeks ago I had a women's clothing "party" at my home where a clothing line's representative presented this Fall's new clothing to myself and four other women. All of us are friends but I was so on edge, comparing myself to them, wondering how much of an imposter I was actually perceived to be. Although I ordered some pretty clothes I was pretty down for the rest of the day and through the following. I talked about my feelings with everyone - individually - in the coming days. I was surprised to learn that all were also very self-conscious, also comparing themselves to the others. A couple even compared themselves to me as I'm slimmer than them. But my neighbor (Jill) said she wasn't self-conscious at all. She's pretty, about 40, and trim. But is she 'perfect'? No, but she's a delight in every way. Jill said that she decided that she's not going to compare herself, fret about any aspect of herself that she doesn't like to see in the mirror. And that got me thinking. This past Saturday I hiked by myself up Mt. Si (pronounced: "sigh") which is east of Seattle. I had plenty of time to think while hiking the 8 miles to the summit and back which involves 3,100' elevation gain. I thought about Jill's advice. "Rock what you got" came to mind. After all, I chose my middle name "Joy" to copy a young woman's middle name that I knew about 50 years ago. She was pretty and young, a little chubby with thin blonde hair, and introduced herself as "Barbara Joy-to-the-world!". So yeah, let's rock! I also love CSNY's song "Love the One You're With" and it occurs to me that we can turn the lyrics toward ourselves. We are with ourselves of course... all the time. So, I like that too. So with that in mind I went to The Rack yesterday to buy a pair of black dress shoes to go with a black dress I'm going to wear to a formal dinner later this month. As I wandered the aisles I marveled about how much fear I felt about a year ago when a girlfriend took me to the store. Now, I'm just another shopper, enjoying a fun time. Yes, I found my shoes in size 11! $49!!! Below are a couple of photos. One is my cat, Peanut, playing in the bag from yesterday's shopping spree, and the other I took last night doing my impression of Einstein's famous photo.

That’s so great to hear! I imagine you’re feeling good about confronting your fears talking with your mom. Please remember that feeling, nurture it. No matter where you go or end up the road ahead has plenty of crossroads. When encountering them it helps to recall previous challenges and how great it feels to be authentic.

I was thinking about you overnight (which happens when I write just before going to sleep!) and hope this helps. You should be congratulated more for your ability to make appointments. People are busy and don’t want meetings just because you’re nice. I conclude that you must therefore be tickling their curiosity enough to set up the meeting. But then, something goes haywire. Maybe they have objections you can’t address. Too expensive? Not really needed? It’s lucky that you have a long experience because I wonder if you could go through your past meetings and in one or two words classify what went wrong with each one: why didn’t they buy. Then, tally these up to determine the frequency of each. Then, take a look and see if you can create a better response to each one. Be creative! Be radical! It doesn’t hurt since now, when you hit one of these objections you almost certainly lose the deal. Turn it into a game and see if you can get some more runs on the board!

Congrats on opening another account! And also for recognizing your not focusing enough on winning biz at the ones you made appointments with. Don’t succumb to just being busy. Focus, focus, focus, on winning biz. Anything else is, sorry to say, spinning your wheels and wasting energy and time and money. Why money? Because the time spent on the accounts that don’t pay off is time you can use on opening up others. Please also take Monica’s advice on Florida. And only rent a mobile home! $70K is a lot of money, especially for a used mobile home. Maybe you can find something on Craig’s List?

Hi Michelle, Sorry to hear that your AFLAC work is paying off so slowly for you. I'm sure your supervisors just love your work ethic, perseverance, and attitude. I suggest taking a step back and try to objectively consider what's going on, why you're not making more money, enjoying more success. It's unfortunate to have to say this, but it's quite possible that your manager(s) are already very aware of how small a chance it is for anyone to make a living in your role. They may very well see you as quite unique, who, if anyone can, ought to be successful. Let's face it, it's hard to find good people like you. The situation reminds me peripherally of companies like Uber where sure, you can quickly become a driver but unless you consciously and adequately stash funds away for car maintenance you'll soon not be able to earn anything when your car breaks down. So, by objectively looking at your current situation at AFLAC you may decide that despite your best efforts your territory just doesn't have prospects with sufficient interest to make the insurance investment. Or, you might think of another plan of attack to approach prospects. (For example, about 35 years ago I was responsible for selling a $250K piece of manufacturing equipment, and was having a heck of a time getting customers to appreciate the benefits they'd accrue from using it. My manager and I came up with a compelling way to get meetings with CEOs and presidents: we'd set our watch on the table and ask them to give us 60 seconds of their attention. We then presented a simple (but credible) economic analysis of the benefits and, lo and behold, that turned the corner for me, and I sold about a dozen machines!) About renting the mobile home: excellent idea, especially to rent. I lived in a smallish Class C RV for about six months last year and in the end didn't care for it. I'd purchased it for what I thought was a very good price and assumed that, like a car, I could resell it later with some relatively minor depreciation. Au contraire! I ended up losing a fourth of what I paid for it only one year later. Live and learn, no? Best wishes, Emma

Hi JeffDad, Thank you for keeping up the dialog. I'm happy to respond to more specific issues such as what you raised. Your emotions are valid and very understandable. Indeed, my wife was devastated when I came out to her. She felt I'd betrayed her and lied to her which was true in some ways although we had had some conversations about my feelings even before we married. We've been apart for almost a year and a half and it's only recently that she's not crying when we get on the phone. I have no doubt that her pain has been awful and I feel so sorry and guilty about this. It's one reason I came "that close" to doing myself in about two years ago. I agree too that some trans people in their euphoria and rejoicing of coming into their own authenticity don't appreciate what their other close family and friends go through. We have a saying that "everyone transitions with you" that tries to capture that sentiment. We trans people also tend to forget that we've learned so much about what it is to feel gender dysphoria, to be trans, and all that, while it's all very new and scary for our partners and families. Caitlyn Jenner comes to mind as one that they think about. Or that we must be gay. Like any preconceived notion it takes time and communication to rebuild understanding. I can hear how much you love your child and how much you want her "back." I will say that from what I've read from you I tend to feel that while your concern for your child is real (and understandable) that you're perhaps more concerned about what your child says/does will reflect on you. Maybe you feel that you did something wrong? Maybe you're afraid for what your friends and family might say or do? I suggest that you try to sort that out with a therapist. I am not denying your feelings and emotions in any way. I'm just wanting to help you through this and by doing that help your child. Me too. I am an electrical engineer/computer scientist and worked in these fields for the past 30+ years. As I've written to you elsewhere I went through a tremendous amount of research to determine for myself that to be transgender isn 't a choice, that we are born with it. I agree that it's painful that we don't have an objective test for it. However, long after I was satisfied that trans people are born this way I asked the endocrinologist who wrote Why I Wish All My Patients Were Transgender a question about a year ago before I started hormone therapy: "I've heard that trans people feel terrific when taking cross-sex hormones and assumed that it was kind of a placebo euphoria. So my question is this, if their feelings are real (i.e., stay with them long after they start hormones) would cis people feel lousy taking these hormones and, through that, tend to confirm or deny that they are transgender?" He answered in the affirmative, that I am correct. True, we're still relying on feelings to figure this out. But the same is true for psychological medications. I wish we had tests for which serotonin uptake inhibitors I need and it took many frustrating and expensive tries to get it right. I do sometimes wrestle with this question, too. Am I really trans? Although I've had several professionals confirm that I am I still experience occasional worries. But here's the thing: I know how much happier and content that I am now versus how I've felt over the last six decades. I'm not partying like it's 1999 or running around in mini-skirts and heels. I'm just going about my life as a woman in her early 60s who also happens to be lesbian. I love it. But I also get it that talking to someone like me may be worrisome. Perhaps it's like I'm trying to convert your religion or something. I thus strongly suggest that you watch some of the videos I sent to you that are by professionals. These people have no axe to grind other than trying to understand and help their patients/clients, some of whom are children. You need to put in your own effort to understand this. I understand that you wish it'd all go away but I also wish I didn't have to pay taxes, that the climate isn't changing, and that I was 40 years younger. Wishes don't solve anything.

JeffDad: Maybe I see your point. I know that I keyed off of your writings. It sounded to me like you were denying trans people their validity as trans and thus cast the same judgment on what your child is going through. So I (and we) responded: - We tried to explain how hard it is to come out to parents, friends, relatives, to try to inspire some patience and sympathy toward your child. - We explained the hard times we had as children and adults, here again trying to help you understand that your child needs your support and, without that, may very well commit suicide. Michael's story certainly parallels mine. I'm 62 and have transitioned to being a trans woman after so many decades of depression, suicide attempts, therapists. and psychiatrists. I'm quite delighted to say that I've never been happier in my life, and it's not a euphoria. I'm old enough to know the difference. I love my life now presenting and being a woman in society. Do I have my ups and downs? Of course. You also wanted a positive relationship story. Last year my wife and I divorced after 20+ years of marriage. Here is what she wrote to me in May 2017: Happy birthday my sweet _________, Wish I could be there to celebrate your day. And what a wonderful day it was 61 years ago when you arrived on this earth. This is your year to celebrate yourself and become who you really are. Be brave, be strong, be true, be honest in this journey. Remember that I will aIways love you. You are the finest person I have ever known and I thank God that you are in my life. Have the best day ever. Love, ______ We talk at least once/week for about an hour or two and always sign off with "I love you" because we do. She is going to visit me this Thanksgiving for a week and next year when I have my gender confirmation surgery she has already offered to come and help me with my recovery. But we will never have a marriage together again since she's not a lesbian. But we are committed to always support and love each other as best friends. These days I'm having a terrific time joining lesbian hiking groups and others in a variety of activities. Making friends, perhaps meeting a dating partner. My life is wonderful and I no longer have suicidal ideations. As Michael wrote, being trans isn't a choice or lifestyle. None of us would have chosen to be trans but speaking for myself I would not wish to be a cisgender male. But that's not a choice either, is it? You and we and your child are what we are, and nothing you can say will change that. I am so worried about your son. I fear that if you remain so steadfast in your opinions that you will drive him away to repeat what so many of us have gone through. Wishing that he's not trans doesn't work. I suggest you open your mind to understanding and compassion instead of trying to tough it out. Emma

With all due respect this sentence and its sentiment upset me. Imagine, if you will, how much courage it's taken your child to come out to you. And then pat yourself on the back that your child opted to do this instead of hurting themselves, perhaps even attempting suicide. I'd say it's quite positive that your child trusted you enough to overcome their own fears to do this. The positive thing would be if you shed your own worries and baggage and allowed your son (which is how I believe they wish to be addressed) to take a lead in this. Listen to your wife and especially your child. Just because you don't understand it that doesn't make it bad. Time for you to get out of your head and actually talk with and meet other parents of trans kids. Instead of casting so much doubt and worry about your child get real and up close with your child and their situation. You're whining and it's not becoming. Sure, your son son won't fit in with the girls in their puberty. Yes, he may have troubles with the boys. All kids have tough teen years, you know that. I'm at a loss of what else to say. I feel that you're looking at the glass as half empty instead of half full. I'm very frustrated and sad at the moment. I am well aware of how hard it is to raise kids. I have two adult sons of my own with their own issues. You can choose this moment to step up and be a real father or try to put your child back into their head which is likely to erupt in all sorts of negative ways, perhaps even death. Up to you.

Monica, I’m 62 so a tad older but similar in age. I’m more self-conscious about my voice and face than about my age spots, easily bruised arms, and stuff like that. I think that most people are self-conscious and worried. It’s part of the human condition. The trick is to have awareness of our feelings, let them breathe within ourselves, but not allow them to hold us back. Carpe dium, make every day as precious as you can. Emma

I joined TG Guide almost four years ago. The time seems short and in hindsight it's passed quickly but there were many deep valleys amid the peaks. Last weekend I hiked to Tolmie Peak with some lesbian friends. Imagine that, out and about as natural as can be. Now making plans for GCS, hopefully by end of Q1 2019. And yesterday my ex-wife phoned to ask if I'd like for her to help me through recovery! (You bet, I answered.) Wow.

I have no idea where you're located, Jeff, your religious affiliations, etc. I came across this article earlier today and regardless, it's an excellent addition within mainstream media that the curtains are really being pulled back about the presence and lives of trans people. In this case, highlighting that areas in the Southeast are more welcoming than in the Northeast. It's also focused on trans girls and boys, adding more anecdotal examples of their realities and validity. I highly recommend it: Trans in the South: Meet Kids Finding Acceptance in the Bible Belt

Sorry, I have to add something here. "This world" is actually so much much better for trans people than it ever has been. The fact that shows like Megyn Kelly's and so many others are highlighting and celebrating our existence. Yes, there is prejudice, confusion, and lack of awareness. Those are things we can work on. I am 62 and well remember surreptitiously reading articles about Christine Jorgensen and others, growing up in extreme shame and secrecy, constantly aware of how I was being perceived and trying to adapt to be what didn't feel natural for me, often hating myself for my feelings that I simply couldn't suppress. I tried so hard, I really did. Perhaps you can elaborate on what this sentence means for you? And here's an issue from National Geographic that might help: GENDER REVOLUTION "Read the historic January 2017 Special Issue of National Geographic magazine on the shifting landscape of gender and download our discussion guide for teachers and parents" Just now I downloaded the Nat Geo discussion guide. Really, it's excellent. I suggest also sharing it with your child. She/he may find it very helpful in understanding themself and provide concepts and words that facilitate talking with you and professionals. It's that good.

Jeff, These words say a lot, I think. The first step in helping your child is to come to an understanding that to be transgender is real. Regardless of what therapists told me I needed to believe it myself. I did a heck of a lot of research to the point where it was undeniable to me. The next step is to try to determine if your child really is trans. Unfortunately there is no objective test. So what to do then? Listen to your daughter, take her to see qualified therapists and professionals. (Be careful, there are quacks out there too.) I know you are and I hope you'll continue to ask more. Through all this you'll gain a better understanding and thus confidence in helping your child. I'm not sure if this (below) will help but just in case, it's an email I received from my ex-wife a little over a year ago, a month after I drove away from the home we had shared. We were married for 20 years and divorced because we determined together that for me to become myself we had to be apart. We remain very close to this day, often on the phone together, and are making plans to get together this Thanksgiving at her place or mine. "Happy birthday my sweet __________, Wish I could be there to celebrate your day. And what a wonderful day it was 61 years ago when you arrived on this earth. This is your year to celebrate yourself and become who you really are. Be brave, be strong, be true, be honest in this journey. Remember that I will aIways love you. You are the finest person I have ever known and I thank God that you are in my life. Have the best day ever. Love, _______"

Dear Jeff, No, you're not coming across as callous at all. All I hear is a very concerned and worried father trying to do his loving best for his child. I have several thoughts I'd like to share: 1. Helping your daughter bind her breasts. On the one hand that's so kind and thoughtful of you. On the other it reminds me of the boy sticking his finger in the dyke. The waters are going to rise, her puberty is going to continue. I dearly hope that in parallel with this you are working with a qualified gender therapist and considering puberty blocker. 2. "I do not want her to be in this world." Are you more worried about her not becoming and rejoicing in being a young woman? Or, are you worried about how society may treat her? 3. Suicide: yes, 41% of trans adults in the US have attempted it at least once. I have, 2-3 times. The last one (about 3 years ago as I recall) was very close. Why do we do this? Because we are so torn up inside, losing the fight against our gender dysphoria and feeling helpless in the battle to become our authentic selves. For teens it's even harder because they have no resources and are so desperate for their parents' love and support. Without that they are stuck, not knowing what to do. They also know lots about how teens are committing suicide. 4. "While I understand that you believe you are transgender, has this decision to live this way really made your lives better?" Yes, I am 100% better off than before. I have no doubt in my mind that I am living authentically as the real me. Do I wish I was born female? Of course, and it saddens me that I wasn't. But there's nothing I can do about that and my life is so much richer and happy than I've ever been before. I believe your question comes from an understandable lack of understanding. I'm sure you've heard that people whose internal sense of gender matches their birth sex are called cisgender or "cis," and those whose gender doesn't match are transgender or "trans." Clearly, you are a cis male: great! I'm happy for you, I really am. But because of that it's so hard to wrap your mind around what it is to be trans. It just seems odd, foreign, unreal. But real it is. I'll share a story about me. I am very binary in that I have no doubt that my gender is female. But the label "transgender" is an umbrella term that includes many other gender feelings including "non-binary." My therapist is non-binary and I have a couple of friends who are also. Now that is something I can't wrap my brain around! I don't get it. I believe that they experience it but no matter how hard I try I just don't understand what it feels like to be them. But I accept their reality to be as real and valid as mine. Perhaps these videos will help you, I hope. They are quite recent and show Megyn Kelly with parents and teens of the GenderCool Project: Five Transgender Teens On The GenderCool Project And How Important Support Is | Megyn Kelly TODAY Siblings Of Transgender Girl: It Profoundly Affected Me In Such A Positive Way | Megyn Kelly TODAY Hear The Inspiring Message One Transgender Girl And Her Parents Want To Share | Megyn Kelly TODAY GenderCool Project Founders On Myths Of Transgender Kids & Rollback Of Rights | Megyn Kelly TODAY Be well, and please, stay in touch. We only wish to help you and your child.

Hi Jeff, I just came across your post; you bring up many understandable concerns and worries. I certainly agree: - There are no objective tests to determine if one is transgender. - We all wish our feelings, the ones we experience as trans and for our children, would just go away. - We all worry that we will be miserable in life, marginalized and unloved. And yet, we know, from clear existence proofs, that transgender people really exist. The science is trying to catch up, just give it time. I’m 62, and since I was in preschool I wished my feelings would just go away. Believe me, please, I’ve tried. I’ve been married twice, the second time for more than 20 years to a woman who still loves me dearly and I love her too. But in the end I tried to commit suicide a couple of times because I wasn’t living authentically. As a trans woman I am not miserable in life. Yes, it has its challenges but it’s actually very delightful compared with the alternative where I was largely waiting for life to run out. I don’t suppose you’ll find that very helpful. For me, the first step was to do enough research to convince myself that to be transgender is real, valid. After that, I struggled with determining that I am indeed trans. And then, what to do about it. I suggest you try following a similar path. Determining if your child is trans or not is tough of course. No, no one is going to push hormones or surgeries before your child and you/your wife are ready. That said, there may be an urgency to all this to start puberty blockers. From what I have seen and read they are harmless. But you need to convince yourself. Please talk to all the professionals you can find. Note also, please, that there is a conference in early August in Seattle called Gender Odyssey. They have a Family Program that you may find very helpful. I suggest that you look into it. With warm regards, Emma

You're both very wise Michelle. My intuition was also that it is too early for you to manage others. Your maturity and character are very ideal for such a role but your breadth of sales experience is still forming. From what I've read you're doing great and deserve kudos from everyone, which you're receiving. I too hope Rich and his wife come through all this well. For you, remain selfish with your time and energy. Go out, prospect, develop and close business.

Good, go have coffee, and bond a little more. At the end of the day, though, somehow you need to do what’s best for you. I’d be wary of him feeding your ego, maybe by sending you to the classes. Sure, he wouldn’t if he thought you might somehow embarrass him. And yes, you might someday hit a winning streak and make good money. In the meantime you need to decide if it’s time to ignore you’re sunk costs and move on. It’s a very hard decision I know. Perhaps when you have coffee, spell this all out frankly with him: what would he do and why? Maybe he’ll give you info and wisdom you don’t have. Or, you may find yourself not believing him. Or somewhere in between. All of that info will help you decide what to do.

Not that it matters, according to Google Translate it's "La eterna lucha." For fun what we used to exchange with our Mexican colleagues was this: "Mucho trabajo, poco dinero." Also an eternal struggle for most. Be careful you don't burn yourself out or get filled with resentments that add complications to making decisions and generally make us feel miserable. Do things for yourself even it's just grabbing a cup of coffee and reading a book or magazine. Take breaks, cook up something unusual or special. Go for a long walk. Write in a journal! Any or all of the above. I know what you mean about being unsure about relationships. I recently met a lesbian woman who I feel head over heels with. She likes me a lot too. As much as I'd love to date her she told me that I am too femme for her so we'll stay as close friends. Disappointing but I'm also grateful to have her for a close friend.

I echo Monica’s comments and also applaud your efforts and experiences selling insurance. That has to be one of the toughest sales jobs there are, and it’s an excellent training ground that potential employers will recognize for you. Youre also wise to talk to your manager and carefully consider what to do. From what you’ve written before it sounds like you have a good professional relationship with each other. Unless you’ve lived in a trailer or RV before, make that decision carefully too. I had not and lived in a 23’ Winnebago last year for six months. I had good times, sure, but by the end I was sick of it!

I still love a good steak but don't eat them much mostly because I need to keep my cat indoors and the BBQ is of course outside. About half of my dinners are a small salad that I buy at Safeway. Yes, it's prepackaged but I make my own dressing with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Other days I'll bake a couple of chicken thighs, add a veggie such as cauliflower. I also have a glass or two of red wine. But that's for dinner. For breakfast I always have two eggs, either scrambled or hard boiled. I then have a piece of fruit like an orange, and a cup of coffee. Later in the day I eat an avocado... Trader Joe's has this bag they sell of avos that are small; perfect for one person. Very healthy and delicious. For a treat I have a toasted English Muffin with butter. I also try to drink a lot of water. I much prefer soda water than tap but I drink that too. Safeway sells a 2 liter (just over a half gallon) of this water for about $1, also a bargain and it tastes great. For a snack I like to have 4 or 5 Triscuits, or maybe a little bag of nuts from Trader Joes. They have the nut mixes prepackaged so I don't overdo it. It's just the right amount and very handy to pack in my purse too. I sometimes splurge a little. Last night I had Japanese tonkatsu with rice and some sort of egg noodles on the side. Delicious! And when I have company over for dinner I often make my spaghetti sauce, or lasagne, cannelloni, that sort of thing. I'm now getting into savory French crepes which is fun too. I do love to eat but I am also pretty careful of my diet especially since my fasting blood sugar is in the pre-diabetic range and has been for about 15 years. Definitely eat more protein than carbs but I think we need carbs too. I just try not to overdo it. I also track my weight very carefully: I measure it with a digital scale every morning and plot it in a spreadsheet. I know this morning I weighted in at 162.6 pounds with a 10-day moving average of 163.6 pounds (I lost a couple of pounds this week), and a BMI of 24.5. I'd love to get my BMI down to 24.0 but that would mean losing another 3 pounds and I'm afraid that with my being on HRT that's not healthy for me.

I suggest reading “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron. She’ll help inspire you to write two pages per day in your Morning Pages. She’ll inspire you to much more than that too. It’s an amazing book. I love reading. I just finished The Weight of Ink, which was fantastic. I unequivocally recommend it! I just started reading The Source, which I read about 45 years ago. Another amazing book. Reading is good for the soul and the mind. Always have a book with you, steal moments to read even a couple of pages, maybe at a coffee shop. It’s a wonderful release. Oh, I also just finished Stone Butch Blues, another excellent book! Who cares if any of this makes you “smarter.” The point is to be happier and more content living in your skin, with your own life challenges.

Dear Warren, I'm so happy to hear from you! Indeed, I have wondered how you were doing. And congratulations on your chest surgery! I well remember how you wanted that so much and struggled so much. I do recall your brother, maybe coming to live with you a long time ago - perhaps just for a short stay. Awesome that Justin and you are cool with having him live with you. Today I finished reading a book that I think you'll like: "Stone Butch Blues." It is a novel, written by a trans man, about life in the 60s and 70s, first coming out as a butch lesbian, then transitioning with HRT, and eventually achieving satisfaction and happiness kind of on the border between male and female. Lots of history there, and makes me appreciate how our lives these days are so much better than they were 50 years ago. I'm doing well too, BTW. I fully transitioned which wasn't what I expected at all when we first met here. Much happier than I've ever been in my life. I now feel I'm authentic which is so different than over a half century trying to be something I was not. Life is good! Love you, Warren! Emma