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  • Birthday October 12

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    Hmmmm. Lemme think....

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  1. UsernameOptional


    Can you not blog here minus those few words that are not allowed. Some of our rules exist because TG Guide is not age-restricted....
  2. UsernameOptional

    This world is destroying my family

    Hey, Dad...I am very glad to see you return. I was just about to give up on ya when I signed in this evening and discovered all the activity on your blog entry. I can only imagine how difficult this might be for you. Keep in mind it may also be just as difficult for your child - it may not have occurred to you, but your pain is no doubt affecting [her] and making things difficult for [her] too, and may even be blaming [her]self. Bad part about that is, [she's] done nothing wrong to take the blame for. No one has - meaning, not even you and your wife as parents. Has nothing to do with your parenting. We are, what we are. NOTE: In case you are wondering -- I've chosen to not refer to your child as male (out of respect for you for now), but if your child IS trans, I don't want to blantantly refer to [her] as if [she] were a cisgender female, and is why I have been putting terms like "she" and "her" in brackets []. I use the bracketed terms as, "for lack of a better term." "While I understand that you believe you are transgender..." Just as you know in your heart, your very soul, what you are, so do trans people. While we know no other existence, the discord is stressful and affects nearly every aspect of our lives. "...has this decision to live this way really made your lives better?" There are many trans people who have successfully transitioned and live a happy life. But whether one transitions or not, s/he is still transgender. True enough that not all people are happy after they transition - the reasons are varied, and not always transition related. But it seems across the board, that no one is happy untransitioned. It's difficult to go thru life having to put on an act. Pretending to be something/someone you are not and to constantly have to tolerate being treated as something/someone you are not. "If I am coming across as callous or unfeeling I don't mean to. I am asking serious questions." Part of the reason for the existence of this board is not only to have a place to support each other, but to support people like you, too. We realize that this is difficult. Callous and unfeeling comes into play when a person flatly refuses to even try to understand, or to accept - whether they understand or not. 'Cause, let's be honest, unless you yourself harbour some issue with gender, a cisgender person can NEVER fully understand what it's like to be trans - just like we can never know what it's really like to be cisgender. But you can learn to accept. You can realize that male or female, this is your child... and learning that your child is not the gender you expected does not make that child suddenly a different person. Believe me, we can tell the difference in intentional callousness borne of bigotry or hate, and the mis-steps and grappling of someone looking for help and answers, someone who wants to learn. As for binding...I recommend extreme caution in using anything adhesive-backed. Also, avoid Ace bandage at all costs - it can cause irreversible damage and injury not only externally, but also internally. If you are going to allow your child to start binding now, and especially in light of the fact that you have indicated that [she] is exhibiting distress in development, I highly suggest you look into a proper binder. I personally use this one, but there are several models and it may take trying a couple before your child finds one that is suitable and performs satisfactorily. -Mike
  3. Published 19 January 18 "‘I get shouted at every single time I leave my house and threatened at least once a week. I try to closet myself from my family because I’m so close to getting kicked out. I can’t access hormone replacement therapy without going private. I’m disabled. It’s a lot to deal with and I’m crumbling under the stress but I consider myself a warrior. But really, something needs to change.’" -- stonewall.org.uk New research exposes profound discrimination trans people face _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Chances are, the situation is no different in the U.S. But it appears the U.K. is bent on trying to fix it. --DML
  4. by Vanessa Guillen Matheus / May.31.2018 / 4:25 PM ET "...Levitt mentioned the importance of using “sensitive language.” For example, care providers could ask patients which pronouns they prefer..." -- nbcnews.com #Pride30: Nurse Nathan Levitt is dedicated to improving transgender health
  5. Mary Emily O'Hara | June 26, 2018 "The WPATH Standards of Care booklet is a 120-page list of recommendations for mental health and medical providers that serve adults, adolescents, and children. First published in 1979, it’s now in its seventh revision, compiled and updated by over 30 doctors, medical and psychological professionals, and an international advisory board." -- them.us Starbucks Just Adopted the Most Comprehensive Trans Health Policy in the World
  6. UsernameOptional

    This world is destroying my family

    "Girl haircuts and clothing are the only choices and that if this is what she wants to choose when she is 18, then I can't stop her." -- Jeff And if [she] IS transgender, and doesn't make it to 18? What then? Will you be happy? The suicide rate for transgender people is disproportionately and sickenly higher than in any other group. Not trying to scare you or make you feel bad... I just think there's a bigger picture you need to be consider rather than your own misplaced pain. If [she] IS transgender, by 18, the poison of estrogen will have widened [her] hips, put fat where [she] will not want it, and put breasts on [her] chest...which [she] will no doubt despise and be disgusted by. You will find all the documentation you want that debunks the existence transsexuality... doesn't make it factual. Just bolsters what you choose to believe. For now, the only proof it actually exists is differences in the brain - but that can only be discovered after one is dead. If [she] IS transgender, [she] is NOT mentally ill... as are none of the rest of us. Only a competent mental health professional will be able to help you all - and [her] - determine if [she] is indeed trans, or just suffering the hellish trials of growing up. I was at least heartened to learn that you are getting counselling for your son... he has learned this unacceptance by those around him. Hopefully he is still young enough to learn and realize that homophobia and transphobia is not pretty, and that GLBT people are no different than straight and cisgender (non-transgender) people. If [she] IS transgender, this is just as hard on [her] as on you... if not more so. But any hardship [she] may be enduring is not of [her] making... but of the society around [her] that villifies people like us for no good or logical reasons. I wish all of you - but especially your child - good luck. -Michael P.S. I would recommend that you consider checking out the Transgender Children & Youth forum. And even the FTM Discussion forum
  7. Published 9:18 a.m. ET June 27, 2018 "The Nebraska native who sang Jordan Smith's "Stand in the Light," explained to the judges that the lyrics mirrored his own life. Elaborating on his "struggles and battles," Ray explained, "I actually was born female. I'm transgender."" -- usatoday.com 'America's Got Talent': Transgender singer Brody Ray's performance will give you chills (with Video)
  8. NBC News Published on Jun 21, 2018 Active duty Lieutenant Commander Blake Dremann has 11 deployments under his belt, but his longest and most personal battle has been fighting for transgender rights in the military.
  9. UsernameOptional

    Disparity & Dispassion

    My girlfriend, a cisgender woman, has become my champion over the years. And, though I hate to admit it was even necessary, she has taught me to be more accepting of some things. Yes [for those of you new to this board], despite being trans, despite being a part of the TGLB community, I have at times in the past expressed a few intolerances. I'm not perfect by any means...but I believe she's successfully changed (for the better) my view on some things. Anywhoooooo... quite often she runs across articles online that touch her deeply, or that she believes I need to read, or that she thinks I may want to post here at TGG. A few days ago, she gave me a link to an article about a trans man that had been shot and killed in Atlanta, GA. I'm sure that there were several reasons: 1) There's never much out there about trans men 2) It's not often we hear about a trans man being killed - this is exacerbated by the fact that too often trans people are misgendered by law enforcement, media, unaccepting family, etc. 3) And of course... her boyfriend - your's truly - is a trans man 😎 I read the article with the usual sadness. I guess we are all either way too familiar with that sadness, or have become hardened to it because there are just so many trans people killed throughout the world. Unfortunately, the US ranks third, behind only Brazil and Mexico in the murders of transgender people. Not exactly something to brag about, and is most certainly contradictory of a country that likes to boast of such great civil and human rights, and goes about condemning other countries with poor civil and human rights. Talk about the pot calling the kettles black! But I digress... Though I don't often do it, after I read the article, I scrolled down to the comments section. There was, and still is as of the writing of this blog entry, only one comment, "I've often wondered why humans, both (male and female), feel so morally charged when It comes to MTF transgenders, but not FTM transgenders. This is sad what did happen to this person." -- Leois Stellar It's not often that people see, realize or admit how the vast disparity between what society thinks of males/females, men/women, and the high importance placed on being male, seemingly dismisses trans men altogther. To the point that there are many cisgender people do not even know or think we exist, and transgender women who believe that those labelled female at birth cannot really be transsexual, and so dismiss our existence. The only thing that matters is that society believes a person who was labelled at birth as male, to be somehow sadly and desperately broken inside for [him] to "want to be <GASP!!> a woman." And if they do recogize that trans men exist, it's almost as if they do not care - afterall, we were not born male and so, nothing was lost. And that there is still only one comment on that article, speaks loud and clear to society's dispassion towards trans men. The disparity and dispassion, though from a different angle, exists even in the community...
  10. UsernameOptional

    Technical help needed in posting photos

    Never indicated the problem was uploading to your computer... I was just trying to find a way around the issue - whatever it may be. There is no [general] issue uploading to this forum - members have uploaded images to the member gallery as recent at 28 April... I uploaded an image to a post just this past week. This is why I asked for as much info as possible. --Are you using a cable between the Nikon and your computer? --Does the Nikon require any special software or program in order to be connected to your computer (some phones or providers used to require such) --Are you getting any error messages when the upload fails? NOTE: It's possible there may be a communication problem between the Nikon and your computer In the editor when creating a new thread, or replying to a post in an existing thread, look down in the bottom left corner -
  11. UsernameOptional

    I'm confused about who I want to be

    Hi Gracie.. and welcome to TG Guide. Just to add to what Emma wrote... and it has to do with the title of your post, "I'm confused about who I want to be." Something that might help you begin to figure it out... it's not who you want to be, but what you are. You may want to be an engineer, or a model, or a doctor. But you are a boy, or you are a girl, or you are both or neither. Your gender identity is not what you want, it is what you are. Unfortunately, our identity doesn't always match the body parts.. See what I'm saying?
  12. UsernameOptional

    Message Forum Upgrade

    LOLOL... you GO, girl!!
  13. UsernameOptional

    The "New" Friendship

    Some believe all friendships must be face-to-face relationships, and that online relationships cannot be formed, do not exist, or are fake. And I'm going to say that most of the people who feel that way are, "of a certain age" or older. I think it is people from older generations who think online relationships are empty. When I was younger, and long before the internet, some people had "pen pals." Since I have no kids, I cannot say whether pen pals is a thing anymore or not. Some people have had life-long pen pals, and have never met in person. In order for such relationships to last, I would think that the people involved would have had to become friends of some sort. Today, we have the internet. I see this as being no different than exchanging letters with someone. And in fact, I believe friendships formed prior to any face-to-face meeting (IF one ever occurs) can sometimes form quickly and be stronger, because in some cases, the people involved get to actually know the person - not what they look like or where they come from. For many, if not most or all, the possibility of relationships are too often determined/decided on what a person looks like. I believe that most people will never know how many truly good, close, and potentially life-time friendships they could have had simply because they ignored someone (in "real time") because of what they looked like. As for it being lonely at the top... I think it depends on the people involved. CO-WORKERS (or more precisely, former co-workers) If a person's friends are also co-workers, then yeah, I agree - those friends will dwindle and fall away as a person's career advances. I can say this from experience - I retired as a supervisor. While the experience was good, if I had to do it over, I think I would not again go after a supervisory position. Quite often, the higher up the food chain, the less you are trusted. Employees also have a tendancy to be unsure what they should or shouldn't say in your presence. Some employess may believe that they no longer have anything in common with their former co-worker. There are probably a list of reason as long as you arm as to why a person loses co-worker friends once that person becomes a part of management. The old friends are sometimes replaced by those in same/similar/comparable positions. And then of course... some companies discourage friendships between certain positions. NON-CO-WORKERS However, I don't see why a person would lose that many friends when those friends have nothing to do with the company/business where you work. Though I'm sure it's possible there's alway the one that harbours the same kinds of attitudes as a co-worker. But I would think such people would be encountered less. -Michael
  14. UsernameOptional

    Message Forum Upgrade

    I tried the "Leaderboard" link just now and was about post that I replicated the issue. But about the time I was going to scroll down to create a reply... the page loaded. Could be it's just a delay. Try again and see if it still doesn't load.
  15. UsernameOptional

    Technical help needed in posting photos

    I am unfamiliar with either model of camera - I still have a Sony FD100 that accomodated both a memory card AND floppy disk. But even as old as that camera is, all I have to do is connect the camera via USB cable or put the memory card in one of the card slots on the computer. Without knowing every step you are taking (from the time you connect a camera to your computer to the last step, which would be clikking the plus sign [+] to add the image to a post), or being able to lay hands on either and tinker with them...there would be no way I could say what the problem may be. Also in play could be your operating system. So far...I've uploaded images from my computer without issue. Have you tried to upload the images to your computer for storage on that device... and then upload to a post or the forum gallery? That could be a possible solution. Hopefully if anyone else has had issues uploading images they will post on this thread. We would need as much info as possible from everyone to try to figure out if there are any commonalities or someone happens to note a known issue, and go from there. Occasionally we encounter a glitch that affects only one person, which in such cases, trying to ferret out the problem is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. -Michael