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Hi Dee. Your entry made me smile. And I can see the happiness in your eyes. I dunno what else to say... except I hope all the best for you. You deserve it. -Michael

Ugh 😖 Shirley Temple was cuter than a ladybug on a daisy...no doubt. You and I being about the same age, I'm not surprised your Mum was looking for a "lookalike." I think a lot of mothers during that time frame wanted their own little Shirley Temple. I was actually taken to the salon when I was little where I was adorned with that classic Temple hair-do. My hair was blonde, I had a deep dimple in one cheek. The picture is cute...but I cringe everytime I have to see it!!

There are a few here that know my Mum is not accepting of my gender identity. Despite this, it was not until just a few years ago that I found she is (unfortunately) also NOT a fan of gay and lesbian people either. I guess I should have figured that in light of what she apparently thinks of transgender people. Now that everyone has some background... lemme share what happened just a few days ago. I took my Mum to an appointment she had last week. When we got there, we went to the front desk to sign in. I noticed right away that the reception area was brightly decorated with flag, banners, streamers and fans, all with the colours of the rainbow. It was the day before the first day of Pride Month. After checking in, we went into the waiting area and sat down. I had not realized it at the time, but my Mother was admiring the decorations. The following transpired. It's not verbatim, but it's pretty damn close. Mum: I wonder where they got all the colourful little flags...they're pretty. I would like one of them. Me: -- silence -- Mum: Is there a Mexican holiday today? Me: No. Mum: I wonder what all those little flags are for. Me: Nothing you would be interested in. NOTE: My Mum has had hearing aids for over 15 years now, but her hearing has degraded greatly in the last year or so Mum: You say, 'no?' Me: I said, 'nothing you would be interested in.' You are neither friend nor ally. Mum: What? Me: I said, 'your are neither friend nor ally.' At this point, I guess I was becoming exasperated. I also didn't want her to discover what the decorations were for while there for fear she would make some disparaging remark. We are talking about a woman who went, "yyyuCK," in a movie theater when during one scene, two men briefly but lovingly kiss each other on the lips. I think I stopped breathing momentarily, and I was hoping no one heard her while all along wishing the seat would just swallow me up. And just FYI, she did NOT whisper! Me: I'll explain to you after we leave here. Mum: Okay. Honestly, I was quite surprised that she let it drop just like that. Any other time she would have been asking me why I couldn't just tell her right then. Thankfully, she didn't. When her appointment was over, and we left the hospital, she did not bring it up despite the fact that we passed right by all those same decorations on the way out. I considered letting it go all together, and so, said nothing after we got into my truck. After we got back to the house, we went to the kitchen to fix a bite to eat - my Mum had not eaten anything since before her early morning appointment, and she was understandably hungry by the time we got back across town. Shortly after sitting down and beginning our meal, my Mum commented how nice the therapist was, and how gentle and encouraging she was. I nodded my agreement. Then the devil crawled up on my shoulder. I took the opportunity to bring up all those pretty little flags and colourful decorations, knowing full well (and steeling myself) that the topic could cause a disagreement. Me: Oh... you mentioned all the flags and decorations at the reception desk there at the hospital, and said you'd like to have one of the little flags - no, you would not. You are neither friend nor ally. Mum: Why? Me: They are for Pride Month. Mum: What? Me: The decorations are for Pride Month - tomorrow starts the first day of Pride Month. Mum: What's 'Pride Month?' Me: Nothing you are interested in... you are neither friend nor ally. Mum: Why? Me: It is the celebration for gay and trans people. Mum: Oh. Her response seemed to almost have a tone of disappointment. It would have been nice to have picked up on some small sign that her stance on such things is softening. However, I'm sure it's because she considered trying to find a little rainbow flag because she thought all the colours were so pretty... but now, had to abandon the idea because of what the little flag meant. She said no more about it.

"I Am Jazz." I've never watched the show. A few days ago, I saw a commercial for, I guess, the new season. Jazz mentions that she's gained a bit of weight. I glanced up at the TV and thought to myself, "she's grown into a pretty young lady." Sitting at the computer and drawing tonite, I took a minute to flip thru the on-screen TV guide to see if there was anything on better than what was on the current channel. I decided to check out TLC. I noticed that "I Am Jazz" was going to come on at the top of the hour, so I set that channel and went back to drawing while listening to the show that was on at the time. The episode was recapping her journey thru to bottom surgery. The episode also highlighted some of the bigotry and vile rhetoric that's been hurled at Jazz...some of which was laced with threats. It blew me away. I guess because she's a reality TV star, I wasn't expecting it. I guess that was pretty stupid on my part. None the less....it hurt. And of course, I can't begin to imagine what that does to her parents. For a moment, I debated whether I wanted to watch the rest of the show. I decided to stick with it. It would be nice to see how she fared with the surgery (that's how the episode tonite ended - with Jazz in surgery) since apparently there were several issues. It would be nice to see her happiness. But I dunno if I want to see more hate. Maybe with tonite's episode being a re-cap of sorts, the concentration of ignorance, insensitivity and transphobia was more than what would normally be in a regular episode. Least ways, that's sorta what I'm hoping is the case. I know things are changing. Slowly. But it's still clear that haters still teach their kids to be haters. There will alway be a new generation of haters. Though I've never really cared for most reality shows, I'd like to see some more of this one, more about Jazz - but not the other crap. We'll see......

The above posts came from the thread "International Journal of Transgenderism." I remember when the term "transgender" really got rooted in here at TGG. Years later, I found out the term was much older, having been coined back in the mid '70's, though if I recall correctly...it was not used as an "umbrella" under which everyone not straight and cisgender would gather. Instead, it was thought that the general public would be more accepting of a term that didn't include the word "sex," and in turn might keep people from being so adversely critical of us. There have been several discussions here about transsexual and transgender. Some even quite heated...but it was usually because there would be someone fly in here and try convince people that no matter one's gender identity, if you didn't transition, then you were "only transgender." Only "real" transsexuals transitioned. They considered themselves better than those who did not or even could not transition, and totally dismissed the fact that "transgender" was simply a catch-all kind of word. For some time, I fought against calling myself transgender because in my mind, there was nothing wrong with my gender... my gender identity. My mind, heart and soul weren't the problem. The problem was my physical sex, and therefore, I felt that transsexual was indeed the more appropriate term for anyone who identified as a gender that did not correspond with their physical sex. The way I saw it, and still do, nature screwed up my physical sex... not my gender. Quite often (and still pretty much today), I just use "trans." Trans women/men, trans people, etc. Ironically, today... if I do use a formal term, it's "transgender" ... because it doesn't sound so harsh. Sorta like the reason it came to be to begin with. Go figure!

Sassy-lookin' little style ya got goin' there! Very nice... 👍 🙂

"She did however say that if I ever walked in wearing a straw like cheap barbie style wig that she would disown me. Which seems fair enough." -- DeeDee You crack me up, Dee!!! 😄😄 Sounds like she's a great little sister.

"I literally "EEEEK'ed" in the car afterwards." -- DeeDee LOL... made me smile. I could image how excited and happy you were.

I had never heard of placing the hand on the edge of a table and creating that 90 degree angle. It seems to make the difference in ring finger length as compared to the index finger more pronounced. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Did you know? ---- Ring finger length is one of the reasons that a hate group was calling Michelle Obama a transsexual.

Congrats, Jessica. In reading this blog entry, I can only picture you smiling - you sound very happy. Glad all went well. Take care and all the best on the remainder of the healing process. -Michael

And part of it was because of how you were raised. Neither is an excuse, true enough. As a person gets older and begins to experience life, they should hopefully begin to see and understand any short-comings they might have been raised under, and work on change. In your case, you know that you were raised being taught to hate anyone who was different from yourself. You came to realize that that is wrong. THAT is why this incident bothers you - you learned. Not exactly the ideal way to learn, but learn you did that how you were raised was wrong and hurtful. You've also grown and realize that part of what you took out on another person, was the anger inside of yourself as a bi-sexual and transgender individual. But even that hate was taught and learned because our society cannot deal with diversity. You hated yourself because what you were being taught made you believe there was something wrong with you. And something occurred to me while reading the recent posts - the guy you beat up, could possibly be suffering his own self-loathing for being gay. Self-loathing that he learned to subject himself to because of society. It's possible that he's walked around all this time believing that he deserved that beating. A very sad thing to think, to consider. But it's possible. Could be he's also been hurting all this time for similar reasons as your own. -Mike

I agree with Monica...the man involved in the the encounter also has things he needs to work on. Understandably so, but now he must also grapple with the fact that you came to him, olive branch in hand. You took that first step - sort of like a substance abuser has to first admit they have a problem. You should now try to forgive yourself, and seriously consider Monica's suggestion that you volunteer with some sort of anti-hate group. You are on the path to healing this wound. Don't let the victim's inability to meet you in the middle, stop you. You can't make him accept your apology or forgive you. Besides healing yourself, all you can do is hope that one day he contacts you. If he doesn't, go on knowing you tried, and have since worked at doing the right thing. -Michael

Monica... no doubt ol' man Walton is constantly turning over in his grave in light of what his heirs have done to his store. MichelleLea.... thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed my story. -Mike

Snug fitting undergarments is the key.... and is why I don't wear boxers. Too much room for "error."