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    Hmmmm. Lemme think....

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  1. UsernameOptional

    Uploading Images

    Hi Dawn... That almost sounds like the issue is with the Gallery and not your O/S. I would think if the O/S were the problem (like a conflict with the latest forum upgrade), you wouldn't be able to upload any pix anywhere on the board. As for accessing the blog... Monica was having trouble before the upgrade which was quite a mystery. It was never solved either. Both these issues are over my head - I will pass them on to Lori. -Mike
  2. UsernameOptional

    The leaderboard and days won?

    Hi Mikayla - The board was recently upgraded, and the Leaderboard is new for us. So, as much as I hate to admit it, I don't really know much about it, or the criteria that places a member in any particular position. But it's likely that Briannah's answer is right. All I would add is that I think in addition to the "likes" a post might receive, how active a thread is might also play a part in where a member is placed on the leaderboard. I'll try to see what I can find out. -Mike
  3. I can sort of relate to your studying various religions - I don't study them, but I do enjoy watching documentaries. The stories are interesting, and of course, often explain how and why so many religions developed, and the need for so many people to have some entity bigger than themselves to believe in. It seems the belief in such has existed nearly as long as man has existed.
  4. Hi Blackangel... and welcome to TG Guide. I was raised in the Episcopal church, but I began moving away from religion in my early 20s, and as I've aged, I've freed myself of any dependence on religion or any god(s) or goddess(es). There are just too many holes in Christianity and other religions... though I think Christianity is by far, the sketchiest of all. However, no matter my belief (or, disbelief), I respect how others believe as long as they don't try to cram their beliefs down my throat. Religion is such a touchy subject, and in a country that alleges Christianity is the major religion, I can certainly understand why you are having trouble finding other polytheistic people. There are surely other polytheistic trans people...but considering we ourselves are supposed to be such a small minority, that no doubt exacerbates your search. Good luck. I know it is always nice to be able to find like-minded people. -Michael
  5. Does appear to be clik bait simply because of the title. But I'm wondering if that was a ploy to get those who NEED to hear that information to check it out. We KNOW what "transgender" and "gender dysphoria" are, and we know they are not mental illnesses. It's the people who think we are mentally disturbed who need to learn something. Perhaps the vid was aimed at them.
  6. Well, at the risk of beginning to sound like a broken record, seems the world around us is moving forward by leaps and bounds... leaving us behind to deal with haters and bigots, and watch as the current regime slowly chips away at the few advances we achieved in previous years.
  7. UsernameOptional

    State Department Revoking Passports

    Need anyone further doubt that this country is still a patriarchal one... full of homophobes?? Why is this aimed at only trans women?? This country is progressing BACKWARD at the speed of light under the current adminstration. What's gonna be next? Transition being illegal?? One day we're gonna wake up and find out that the national language is Russian and there will laws on the books dictating what you are allowed to wear or not allowed to wear... BASED ON YOUR SEX.
  8. David Boddiger | Today 2:20pm "Today I was denied a renewal of my US Passport and told I would need to get a judge to unseal child welfare records from Foster care in order to "prove" my US Citizenship. Despite having had all "Female" ID since 1999, they are now demanding "Proof of Transition" for the 1st time" -- Danni Askini The State Department Is Retroactively Revoking Transgender Women’s Passports, Report Says
  9. A good part of the world is changing... the WHO needs to catch up, if only to place itself on the right side of history, and perhaps help cause those place not yet changing, to do so.
  10. UsernameOptional

    This world is destroying my family

    JeffDad -- Despite all that's been said by those who've participated in this discussion, you stand firm in your belief that being trans is a choice, a "lifestyle." And you are steadfast in your belief that we just "think" or "believe" that we are one gender or the other. As for my example of the Sadie Hawkins dance, I wasn't out, so of course no one would have asked me to go. If you had taken in what I wrote, it would have been clear that I suffered my situation alone and in silence. I wasn't alone, friendless and without romantic relationships because people wanted nothing to do with a transgender man. They didn't know I existed. "If I was hearing happy stories.... positive life stories, fulfilling relationship stories.. happy family stories.... or anything that could even be construed as positive I may think differently." ... "I do not want this world for my daughter." --JeffDad Because of those who make life miserable for so many trans people ... why don't you consider becoming a part of CHANGE, so that your child DOESN'T feel isolated, different, unwanted, bullied, unhappy, etc.? Starts with one cisgender person at a time. Join a Straight/Gay Alliance. Join a LGBTQ+ support group. Join a transgender group. I dunno where in Jersey you are, but I do know that in the tri-state area (NJ, eastern PA, southern NY) there are many groups that could be of help. Become an activist. Make this world better for your child... don't condemn the lot of us and call us delusional, and dismiss us with, "it's your choice," or "I believe that YOU believe your gender is _______." We can fight for and hope to gain the same rights you have, but acceptance comes from the cisgender mainstream - from the ones who mandate the unwritten rules of society. Let's take marriage equality for example: same-sex marriage is legal now, BUT, that doesn't mean it's generally accepted. Just means there were those that felt they finally had to do the right thing. And it certainly doesn't mean that society now accepts gay people. It takes the haters to change that. Ya know what else isn't a choice? Being born. Your child didn't ask to be born. In fact, he had no say what-so-ever in the matter. And because he had no choice, those who brought him into this world should accept him in whatever way shape or form he turned out - without reservation. And if everyone accepted everyone the way they are, there'd be no reason to worry. This world will never be safe for anyone who is different until those who have issue with difference, change. I really wish we could be of more help. I was hoping we could help you accept your child the way he is and understand that this is not a choice, a desire, a whim or a phase. I wish all of you, especially your children, the best. Maybe one day, they will be the ones to usher in an era where people are just people, and sex and gender are simply medical designations only, and not something to be used as licenses by others to hate or hurt, withhold equality, or deny happiness. Good luck -David Michael
  11. UsernameOptional

    This world is destroying my family

    Hey Jeff - It's obvious that emotions are high and intense surrounding the gender identity of your child. Seems now, that a "fight or flight" instinct is beginning to kick in. Sadly, I see the fight. And before I go further, please understand that you will not get the validation that you appear to need or are looking for. Rather we will, to an extent, try to get you to accept whether you understand or not, and to rally around your son (and his mother) 'cause people like us are just another minority that society loses no sleep at all in beating up on us, denying us rights, and in some cases - KILLING us. I've received PMs from members expressing frustation from not knowing what more to say or do for you, and concern for your child. Your most recent entry explains why - at least for me it does. In your 2nd entry (01 July), you closed with, "if I am coming across as callous or unfeeling I don't mean to. I am asking serious questions." I responded to this, that you had nothing to worry about as long as it was obvious you wanted to learn, and as long as we detected no [intentional] callouness. I hoped you were working toward accepting your child's gender identity. I think the [unintentional?] callousness I seem to be detecting is due to your own fears, and your concern for what people will think of you. MomPride has not jumped on any "trans train." The only people guilty of that are those in areas of media that sensationalize transsexuality and try to capitalize on it (and the porn industry, unfortunately). It's a hot topic for some, and the media knows there are people who will watch whatever they put out like people at a freak show. Though I'm sure you didn't intent to, by saying this to MomPride, you disrespected her on every level possible, and invalidated her son. You do not have to delude yourself. But in light of the fact that your child has come out as trans and identifies as male, the only delusion now would be if you caused your child to retreat into the female role that you expect so that you can happily go on about your life - delusionally, but [allegedly] happy. Once again, you've disrespected MomPride (and everyone else in the community) by, in so many words, calling her delusional. We all suffer disasters in our lives - some small, some big, some managable, some not, some temporary, some last for periods longer than we think we can endure, some last a lifetime. And some are more than we can endure, at which time some choose to pull the plug. While it is true that society treats us like so much trash (actually worse because some trash is recycled!), being able to be oneself is priceless. There are those who dislike black people and other people of colour. Such people feel that dislike everyday. But they can no more change what they are than a trans person can. I know this is going to sound cliche, and my apologies in advance, but... we do not choose to identify as a gender contradictory to our birth sex any more than you choose to be cisgender and heterosexual. Tell me, please, why would we intentionally subject ourselves to the unacceptance and hate of the populace? WHY? I am 60 years old, Jeff. I've known from a very young age that I was not like my mother, or her mother, or her sister, or her best [female] friend, or any other female that had, to that point, walked into or past my little life. After I started school is when the problems started. I had no words back then for what I felt inside, but I instinctively emulated other boys. Of course that didn't go over well and I learned to hide my true identity. That did not come without consequences, however. Most of my school years were friendless. In elementary school girls seemed to instinctively know I was different from them... I wasn't one of them. Staff and faculty kept me from participating with the boys - where I really wanted to be. The onset of puberty caused changes I detested, especially breasts - the very things I knew from about 1st or 2nd grade that I would never want. And at the time, had no reason to think I would get them - I just knew I wouldn't want them. And then, WHAM! There they were. I have since then tried every way possible to hide them, make them less noticeable, pretend they don't exist. The appearance of pubic hair also distressed me because I did not know that everyone had pubic hair. The disgust (most likely dysphoria) caused lasting issues. I spent a good part of my junior high years trying to figure out how I could painlessly and successfully kill myself. The fear of failure kept me from doing so. I was afraid I would get arrested (we were always told suicide was against the law); I was afraid I'd get in trouble with my parents (both were very strict, and my dad was military); and I didn't want to end up a vegetable in an institution where people would have to tend to every aspect of life for me, leaving my mis-shapen, wrongly developed body exposed for those tasked with caring for me, to see. My high school years were hell. Imagine being the only boy in all-girl spaces, hormones RAGING, and you can't do a damn thing about it. I was one of the boys that didn't get asked to the Sadie Hawkins dance (and so missed out on that event altogether). I didn't get to ask a girl to the either Jr or Sr prom (and so missed out on both events altogether). I didn't get to play football or baseball. I was relegated to softball and the girl's versions of gymnastics. The older I got, the more clear it got with each passing year that society sucks, and I could not be myself. I had to continue to pretend to be someone else just to keep from being bullied, shunned, hated, ridiculed, teased, etc, whether from family or strangers. Somewhere between high school and adulthood, I developed a love/hate for females. I hated them because I was lumped in with them, and then of course, like any heterosexual male, I wanted a woman to love and who would love me. Now here's the thing - even pretending to be female, throughout my life, I've been bullied, shunned, hated, ridiculed, teased, etc, at various times in different places. So, if I had known there would still be that kinda crap, I could have done it as a boy, as a man. My entire life has been wasted on fear. My entire life has been wasted on pretending to be a female just to keep people like you from hating me. This forum (and being online) is the only place where I have been able to be ME. Where I can be myself and the members here treat me with respect, with acknowledgment, with acceptance, with friendship, with love. There's nothing you can do to change this, Jeff. BUT, you have two choices: 1. You deny your child's gender identity, and you guarantee nothing but pain in more ways than you care to know. 2. You accept your child's gender identity, and help him to be the best he can be, so that he can find the strength to live his life in spite of the haters and bigots. Somewhere among the many discussion here, a former member posted that she told her mother she (the mother) had a choice - she could have a dead daughter, or a living daughter. In other words, dead or alive, the member was a [trans] woman, and not a man. The mother just had to decide which she preferred. If I am coming across as callous or unfeeling I don't mean to. Being trans is serious. David Michael
  12. UsernameOptional

    This world is destroying my family

    Hey, Dad...I am very glad to see you return. I was just about to give up on ya when I signed in this evening and discovered all the activity on your blog entry. I can only imagine how difficult this might be for you. Keep in mind it may also be just as difficult for your child - it may not have occurred to you, but your pain is no doubt affecting [her] and making things difficult for [her] too, and may even be blaming [her]self. Bad part about that is, [she's] done nothing wrong to take the blame for. No one has - meaning, not even you and your wife as parents. Has nothing to do with your parenting. We are, what we are. NOTE: In case you are wondering -- I've chosen to not refer to your child as male (out of respect for you for now), but if your child IS trans, I don't want to blantantly refer to [her] as if [she] were a cisgender female, and is why I have been putting terms like "she" and "her" in brackets []. I use the bracketed terms as, "for lack of a better term." "While I understand that you believe you are transgender..." Just as you know in your heart, your very soul, what you are, so do trans people. While we know no other existence, the discord is stressful and affects nearly every aspect of our lives. "...has this decision to live this way really made your lives better?" There are many trans people who have successfully transitioned and live a happy life. But whether one transitions or not, s/he is still transgender. True enough that not all people are happy after they transition - the reasons are varied, and not always transition related. But it seems across the board, that no one is happy untransitioned. It's difficult to go thru life having to put on an act. Pretending to be something/someone you are not and to constantly have to tolerate being treated as something/someone you are not. "If I am coming across as callous or unfeeling I don't mean to. I am asking serious questions." Part of the reason for the existence of this board is not only to have a place to support each other, but to support people like you, too. We realize that this is difficult. Callous and unfeeling comes into play when a person flatly refuses to even try to understand, or to accept - whether they understand or not. 'Cause, let's be honest, unless you yourself harbour some issue with gender, a cisgender person can NEVER fully understand what it's like to be trans - just like we can never know what it's really like to be cisgender. But you can learn to accept. You can realize that male or female, this is your child... and learning that your child is not the gender you expected does not make that child suddenly a different person. Believe me, we can tell the difference in intentional callousness borne of bigotry or hate, and the mis-steps and grappling of someone looking for help and answers, someone who wants to learn. As for binding...I recommend extreme caution in using anything adhesive-backed. Also, avoid Ace bandage at all costs - it can cause irreversible damage and injury not only externally, but also internally. If you are going to allow your child to start binding now, and especially in light of the fact that you have indicated that [she] is exhibiting distress in development, I highly suggest you look into a proper binder. I personally use this one, but there are several models and it may take trying a couple before your child finds one that is suitable and performs satisfactorily. -Mike
  13. Published 19 January 18 "‘I get shouted at every single time I leave my house and threatened at least once a week. I try to closet myself from my family because I’m so close to getting kicked out. I can’t access hormone replacement therapy without going private. I’m disabled. It’s a lot to deal with and I’m crumbling under the stress but I consider myself a warrior. But really, something needs to change.’" -- stonewall.org.uk New research exposes profound discrimination trans people face _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Chances are, the situation is no different in the U.S. But it appears the U.K. is bent on trying to fix it. --DML
  14. by Vanessa Guillen Matheus / May.31.2018 / 4:25 PM ET "...Levitt mentioned the importance of using “sensitive language.” For example, care providers could ask patients which pronouns they prefer..." -- nbcnews.com #Pride30: Nurse Nathan Levitt is dedicated to improving transgender health
  15. Mary Emily O'Hara | June 26, 2018 "The WPATH Standards of Care booklet is a 120-page list of recommendations for mental health and medical providers that serve adults, adolescents, and children. First published in 1979, it’s now in its seventh revision, compiled and updated by over 30 doctors, medical and psychological professionals, and an international advisory board." -- them.us Starbucks Just Adopted the Most Comprehensive Trans Health Policy in the World
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