MonicaPz

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About MonicaPz

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    Moderator
  • Birthday 01/19/1958

Profile Information

  • Gender Female
  • Location Beacon NY
  • Interests Am a CG Lesbian with an open mind. Have had many TG friends when I lived in Florida. Exploring art. Enjoy coffee houses with live music. Visit museums and art galleries. Am on disability, using a cane. Sedate but have an active mind.

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MonicaPz's Activity

  1. MonicaPz added a blog entry in MonicaPz's Blog   

    Is There A Place For Short-Term Relationships?
    All my life I sought a life-long relationship, and, yes, I found true love for ten years, (in my forties), only to lose it for my refusal to marry her (back then, a Holy Union), for fear of losing my Disability benefits and bankrupting her as a result.
    As I approach my 60's, I realize I have become more complex, because of all the life experience I have been through, making it more difficult for me to find someone with whom I am compatible.  What brought this home to me was my experience with four Lesbian dating websites, (from my mid-fifties to the present), where the women my age (59) were more complicated and had more complex demands on a potential partner.
    Slowly, it gradually occurred to me, that if I didn't find an alternative way of looking at love and companionship, that very likely I would remain single and have no romantic love and companionship for the rest of my life.
    Gradually, I realized serial brief relationships (with the possibility of a relationship growing into a friendship or even a long-term relationship) would be a lot more realistic.  
    Here are my reasons:
    WHY IT'S BEST I LIVE ALONE
    Am set in my ways.Needs to use the bathroom on short notice.Gassy.Terrible odor when I use the bathroom.Never shared my living space (not even with my lover of 10 years).Can not share my apartment and finances due to being on Disability.Needs to live in HUD Public Housing (if anyone wanted to live with me, they, too, would have to be "very low income," too).Allergic to horses, dogs, cats and birds (most Lesbians not only have cats and dogs, but sleep with their pets).Am actually happy with my apartment (and I am unlikely to find as good an apartment - especially HUD Housing - anywhere).Only negative where I live is some residents in Beacon and many residents of my apartment complex, I don't like.  Avoid them and save money to take trips every three or four months.Love my building.Management treats me humanely.Maintenance treats me humanely, and does an efficient and thorough job maintaining and cleaning the building as well as making repairs in my apartment. (Most HUD Public Housing properties are poorly maintained.)Very low crime rate where I live.  (The lowest crime rate I have every seen at a HUD Public Housing property I have ever seen.)​Here are what I think are the advantages of short-term relationships:
    The Advantages of Short-Term Relationships
    Due to very low income (some would call this a "budget income," I can not relocate quickly to continue dating a woman (in order to avoid a "U-Haul" situation where I would move in with her, and hope for the best!)Most women do not qualify (very low income) and are uncomfortable dating a woman who lives in HUD Public Housing, especially if it is poorly maintained and is in a dangerous neighborhood.Able to enjoy the relationship before the drama and games begin.Can't find a woman locally to me because of homophobia where I live.  (Most women are already coupled before they move here.)Both parties should be single out of respect for other relationships and for themselves.Sex is not the primary reason for such a relationship, but companionship.​Of course, there are many other reasons people may choose short-term relationships rather than long-term or lifelong relationships.
    Would like to hear from others if they resonate with this in their own lives (especially if they are 60 +) and how realistic they think this is.
    Am I selling myself short?  Or am I having realistic expectations for a 59 year old, average-looking woman, who is kind, compassionate, supportive and has many interests?
    Thank you in advance for your comments!

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  2. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: First Migraine After A While   

    Dear Michele and Emma,
    My mother had migraines on the right side of her head.  She kept this fact to herself to avoid prejudicing me for or against should I develop migraines.
    When I told my mother I get them in the right side of my head, she validated this was true for her, too.  Feel like a rock is being forced into my right eye.  As I get older, they are less severe, so I think they are related to my estrogen.
    Since they last for 1/2 hour, I do not treat them with anything beyond over the counter painkillers.
    May you be well!
    Yours truly,
    Monica
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  3. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: Post Operation Thrills   

    Dear Michele,
    You were wise to bring many sanitary napkins with you to the hospital.  Also recommend women bring their own Chux pads to protect them from overflow onto their bedding.
    Am looking forward to the time when transwomen can adopt.  Cisgender Lesbians and Gaymales have an excellent record when it comes to having children.  Not many cisgender Straight males have had children, but the few who do, have an excellent track record.  Looking forward to when transwomen can adopt children.  Am sure transmen will also have an excellent track record when adopting or having children.  There are so many children waiting to be adopted!  Please don't give up hope.
    Hoping you continue healing.  Am a cancer survivor of 17 years myself (uterine cancer).
    Sending love and prayers your way.
    Yours truly,
    Monica
     
     
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  4. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: A Fond Farewell   

    Dear Charl,
    Your cooking on Instagram looks DELICIOUS!
    Yours truly,
    Monica
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  5. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: A Fond Farewell   

    Dear Charl,
    I, too, click "like this," for the same reasons that Emma stated.
    Really enjoy hearing from women with your talents, and I will miss you.  Hope you return soon.
    Yours truly,
    Monica
     
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  6. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: Living on hope of vacation.   

    Dear Bree,
    Am so sorry to hear that your Dad won't take responsibility for his dogs' behavior.  Sadly, in our society, dogs are blamed for bad behavior, when mostly it is the owners' fault.
    Yours,
    Monica
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  7. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: New Neighbor story. Short, but this is my weird life.   

    Bree,
    Am so sorry about the loss of your cat.
    Monica
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  8. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: More Clarity   

    Dear Mike and Emma,
    Often parents (both mothers and fathers) are disappointed with a child for any number of reasons:  the "wrong" sex, not being good looking enough, not being smart enough, being unplanned (unwanted) and not being athletic enough, among MANY OTHER reasons.  Children, sooner or later, pick up on not being fully accepted.
    Strongly feel there should be premarital classes and parenting classes required before marriage and having children, dealing with these issues and more. 
    Feel that most, if not all, child abuse emanates from unmet expectations of parents!
    Yours,
    Monica
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  9. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: More Clarity   

    Dear Mike,
    Am sorry to hear that your mother can not accept that she has TWO sons, and NO DAUGHTERS.  Wish she was like me, in that she would rejoice on having HEALTHY CHILDREN!
    Personally, I would not care what gender my children are, and if I was hoping to having an opposite gender child from the children I already had, there are MANY FOSTER children DYING to have a home, so that I could adopt the daughter I always wanted. 
    Have never been the kind of woman who wanted children of one gender over another.  If I did not struggle with my health issues and low income, I would have FOSTERED TO ADOPTION (which I think ALL adoptions should be this way) transgender children, especially if I was in a solid, healthy, stable relationship.
    Also, I STRONGLY BELIEVE transgendered children and homosexual children are that way due to ORGANIC reasons, having nothing to do with child rearing or their home life.  Not only that, I do not believe ADULT EXPERIENCES cause transgender and homosexual issues.
    The bottom line, Mike, is that your mother is causing her own misery!
    Your friend,
    Monica
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  10. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: WIsh me luck - Youtube Hair Idiocy. :)   

    Bree, I am considering changing my hairstyle (cut) myself!
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  11. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: Sometimes people make me sad.   

    Dear Bree,
    In my small town, I have had been verbally attacked in a RESTAURANT when my brother and his wife took me out to dinner at a higher end restaurant to celebrate my birthday a year ago.  He was accompanied by his family.  Would have called him on it, except I was accompanied by my Straight homophobic family.
    A month ago, when a Lesbian friend and I went to a diner, I had a man "stare me down," and I gently but firmly called him on it.  He was accompanied by three women.
    Frankly, both of these ***holes were cowards as they apparently needed the "support" of their family and friends to insult me.  This never happened to me before, and I believe it is directly related to today's political climate.
    Didn't know either of these men from Adam.  Personally, if I were in their party, that behavior would be a "deal breaker" for any continued friendship or dating! 
    Yours,
    Monica
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  12. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: Sometimes people make me sad.   

    Dear Bree and Emma,
    Just happens today (Sunday, February 19th), I worked with my compact digital camera to attempt to take some still photographs of myself, and they came out horribly.  (This is for a Lesbian Internet dating website).  Also, they wanted a five minute video of me, speaking of my likes and dislikes in a partner, and I didn't even go there!
    Have no trouble writing to women who have no picture, as I care about the woman's heart and character.  The only thing about looks that might bother me is when a woman is overly obese (she is 200 or more pounds heavier than me) or she doesn't care for herself (unkempt).
    Both of you are among my favorite people here.  Am grateful to have Internet friends, but I have to have face to face friends, too.  Unfortunately, I live in a small city where people generally are slow to become friends but are quick to hate.
    Am going to the Fantasia Gender Conference in the hope of making good friends, and if I am lucky, meeting the love of my life.  Will be honest with you, I prefer transwomen or cisgender women who are trans allies to cisgender women.
    Yours,
    Monica
     
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  13. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: Judy's Transformaton   

    Bree,
    Piscataway, NJ, is the international headquarters of the Institute of Electrical and Electronic Engineers (IEEE).
    Monica
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  14. MonicaPz added a post in a topic: Forum subject   

    Dear Judy,
    There is a wonderful FREE dating website, where I made GREAT Internet friends, called www.TGDating.com, not related to TGGuide.
    Also, you may want to consider www.meetup.com, where I am starting a social/activity group for Lesbians in my home town.
    Please don't give up on TGGuide, as I have made MANY GREAT friends here!
    Think there are some members of TGGuide who live in New Jersey.  You may want to think in terms of the "northeast."
    Focus on friends first, and then you may find a lover.
    Consider joining a Gender Conference.  Am attending this Fall's Fantasia Fair.  There may be gender support groups within an hour or two from where you live.
    Good luck!
    Yours,
    Monica
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  15. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: Anniversary   

    Dear Nikki,
    Think VERY FEW find true love from their first relationship.
    This is why I encourage group dating in junior high school (ages 14 to 16) and one on one dating (celibate - although I know it is hard to do!) in high school.
    The human brain is not fully mature until age 25.
    Sadly, I see a lot of heart break in college.  
    Read one of your recent posts, and even I thought you two were separating, and, boy, am I glad I was wrong.
    Always encourage women and, yes, Straight people to be slow to divorce.  Think separation (does not mean permission to have affairs) is a good idea, as long as a start and end date is mutually agreed on in advance, 
    Am so glad you two are OK!
    Yours,
    Monica
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