MonicaPz

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About MonicaPz

  • Rank
    Moderator
  • Birthday 01/19/1958

Profile Information

  • Gender Female
  • Location Beacon NY
  • Interests Am a CG Lesbian with an open mind. Have had many TG friends when I lived in Florida. Exploring art. Enjoy coffee houses with live music. Visit museums and art galleries. Am on disability, using a cane. Sedate but have an active mind.

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MonicaPz's Activity

  1. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: Ho-hum   

    Dear Chrissy,
    Think Widow to Widow was referring to INCAPACITATING grief.
    Still have moments of grief over losing my parents.
    Your friend,
    Monica
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  2. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: Ignorance on Display   

    Dear Friends,
    Just because you have known a person for a long time, doesn't mean they will grow parallel to you.  
    Emma, I hate to say this, but this man hasn't grown much since the first grade when you knew him.  By the way, education does not always imply maturity.
    When I attended my 10 year high school reunion, I was amazed that those who attended looked and acted as if they graduated YESTERDAY.  Asked to be taken off the mailing list!
    When I moved to Dutchess County, I reunited with a friend of mine from high school and I wondered why I was ever friends with her.  She did not look or act like she had grown at all, and she and I had graduated 40 years ago!
    My youngest brother, he claimed he did not recognize me on an emotional or physical level in the ten years we were out of touch.  Took this as a compliment!  
    The upshot is that we all grow at different rates and directions.  Even if we compare ourselves to ourselves, every ten years every cell in our body is replaced, and if we are growing at a healthy pace, we should show significant differences every ten years.  Even when I look at myself from six months ago, a year ago or two years ago, I see significant change in myself.
    By the way, that man was just plain RUDE!
    Your friend,
    Monica
     
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  3. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: Ho-hum   

    Dear MichelleLea, Emma and Chrissy,
    When my mother lost my father due to heart disease, she joined an organization called, "Widow to Widow," which was free, run by a woman psychologist.  My mother got a lot out of it, but the greatest thing she got out of it was that the grieving period should last no more than two years.  This is the point that the widow should clear out and give to charity the unusable property of the deceased partner.  The psychologist said it was unhealthy to grieve beyond two years, and that the survivor should get counseling.
    Hope this helps.
    Your friend,
    Monica
     
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  4. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: Feminist Group event   

    Dear Chrissy,
    Strongly feel that transwomen are "real" women, and those that identify as Lesbian are "real" Lesbians, as well as those that are Straight women.  Have always looked in between the ears ("character counts").
    This also goes for transmen.  
    Want to emphasize I feel this way both about pre-op and post-op, pre-hormones and post hormones.
    Somehow, I can sense the gender and sexual orientation ("gaydar") energy of people, and beyond, the beyond I can not discuss here, as that would require a book!
    Have to accept that some others do not have this capability, and they have a lot of confusion about it.
    Just wished that people who do not understand something, did not feel the need to be hostile about it, but just accept that they do not understand it at this place and time.  By the way, there are many things I do not understand, and I accept these things as things I do not understand yet.  Hope that makes sense!
    Your friend,
    Monica
     
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  5. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: New B   

    Dear MichelleLea,
    My heart and prayers are with you.  I KNOW you can do it!
    Selling insurance is a challenge because you are selling PEACE OF MIND, and it is an abstract concept rather than a concrete object.
    Am cheering for you!
    Your friend,
    Monica
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  6. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: Closets   

    Dear MichelleLea, Emma and Chrissy,
    Usually "mother of the bride" gowns are great women's formal wear that is appropriate for ball room/formal affairs.
    Is there a chance you could photograph yourself in it and upload a picture of yourself in it?
    Your friend,
    Monica
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  7. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: Two year anniversary coming up   

    Dear Karen,
    The jacket probably had an interim discount. You look great!
    Also, you seem to have great friends!
    Your friend,
    Monica
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  8. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: Transgender "Community"   

    Dear Chrissy,
    Interesting that you bring that up, as I am giving a talk about "community," at Fantasia Fair in two weeks.
    As a cisgender Lesbian, I watched the Lesbian community become absorbed by the community at large (assimilated). Feel strongly this disempowered the Lesbian community, as evidenced by the disappearance of Lesbian bookstores.
    Sadly, I have to seek community by attending transgender support groups and conferences. Am very grateful for the outreach of the transgender community.
    In Florida, as well as in New York, I have observed some people who transitioned, leave the group. Feel the group's job is to empower people to go on to the next step in their lives. Hopefully they keep the friends they made in the group. Don't think it is healthy to remain in any kind of support group for a lifetime as this shows the person made little or no growth.
    What concerns me is when there are no support groups when people need them the most. Feel that people need face to face support and that online support should be secondary to face to face support.
    When I moved to trans and homophobic upstate New York, I am grateful to find a welcoming transgender support and conference group.
    Why am I not in a Lesbian in a transgender support group? There is none convenient to where I live (I do not drive). I find support wherever I can find it!
    Thank you, my dear friends in TGGuide and Fantasia Fair, for being there for me when I most needed it. Will always be grateful for your friendship!
    Your friend,
    Monica
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  9. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: Next project   

    Dear MichelleLea and Chrissy,
    In Oldsmar, Florida, which was right on the water, in Tampa Bay, Florida, many of the houses were built on filings as tall as 12 feet high.
    Am getting ready to attend Fantasia Fair, and many of the women are encouraging me to invest in two ball gowns, even though I am a mid-butcher Lesbian that doesn't even have a dress or skirt to her name.
    Am trying to put together outfits suitable for two formal occasions appropriate for a mid-butcher Lesbian!
    Monica
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  10. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: caring   

    Dear Kitrah and Emma,
    Think it is so essential to find kind, supportive and knowledgeable people for your inner circle.  Part of it is to have a circle of acquaintances and listen carefully to their comments and observe how they treat others, before considering them as friends.
    Some areas (like upstate NY), you can be acquaintances for years, even decades, and not find friends.  
    On the other hand, I have been in areas where people were very friendly very quickly, without taking the time to get to know you, and for you to get to know them, and often these people turned out to be scammers.
    Yours truly,
    Monica
     
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  11. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: Fear Adapting and Idenity   

    Friends,
    Please look down to the bottom of the page, as my comment is there, for some reason.
    Monica
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  12. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: Fear Adapting and Idenity   

     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Dear Kitrah, Chrissy and Emma,
    Feel that a person should be able to dress as they want (within modesty limits determined by the community) as long as that person is not trying to commit fraud, such as a person who is trying to impersonate a police officer.  Once I lived in an Orthodox Jewish neighborhood, and I wore a sleeveless blouse (during very warm weather) and they let me know about it very quickly.
    It takes time to "find your voice" in how you dress, and yes, this will change as you age and grow.  For example, what was appropriate when you were a teenage will no longer be appropriate in your senior years.  
    Agree with Emma, that finding a face to face support network is essential, and sometimes this requires you to move to a more cosmopolitan community, as some areas are very T/LGB - phobic.  
    Also, I agree with Emma that TGGuide is a very supportive and safe community.  It is a good start and foundation, but people should be actively seeking face to face support, even if they have to travel to find it.  Presently I am exploring transgender conferences and support groups with this in mind.  In my case, Lesbian support is almost non-existent and T/LGB Centers are far away from where I live and have limited resources.
    Will let you know about my experience with Fantasia Fair and the Mid - Hudson Valley Transgender Support Group.
    Yours truly,
    Monica
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
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  13. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: Dressing   

    Dear MichelleLea, Emma, Chrissy and Karen,
    Am a big believer in letting nothing go to waste.  Every Spring and Fall, I do a deep clean, and I try on all my clothes.  Anything that doesn't fit, I promptly give away.  Don't wait to "grow into or out of" anything, anticipating a weight gain or loss, because by that time, there might be a stain or stains forming because of long'term storage.  My mother taught me this, may God rest her soul.  She really knew how to take care of her clothes.  She used tissue sheets in between her better bras, panties and slips in her dresser drawers to keep the wrinkles out.  She did this from when she was young to her old age, and did not slack off when she got married.  My mother dressed beautifully, and made sure her husband (my father) did, too.  One of my best memories was when they went square dancing, especially during the holidays.  Wish I had pictures to prove it!
    About shoes - I recall my roommate had FIFTY pairs of shoes.  I used only 12 inches of the closet (hanger and floor space), while she used the rest!
    Thank you for donating your unused clothing, as I do, too!
    Your friend,
    Monica
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  14. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: Flowering   

    Dear MichelleLea,
    Concerning wigs and hairpieces, be aware that ONE THIRD of cisgender women wear them!
    Monica
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  15. MonicaPz added a comment on a blog entry: Working   

    Dear MichelleLea,
    Just finished my research for transgender resources in Broward County and found that they all are "for profit."
    If anyone knows of non-profit transgender support in Broward County, please let MichelleLea and I know.
    Please check the resources I gave you, and, if they don't know, ask them for a referral.  Sometimes it takes one person referring to another person, and that person referring to a third person, etc.
    Things have changed in the 15 years since I lived in Tampa Bay, but I still think they are worth the trip!
    Orlando has some outstanding transgender support and social groups, and if you are interested, let me know.
    Your friend,
    Monica
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