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About MonicaPz

  • Rank
  • Birthday 01/19/1958

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Beacon NY
  • Interests
    Am a CG Lesbian with an open mind. Have had many TG friends when I lived in Florida. Exploring art. Enjoy coffee houses with live music. Visit museums and art galleries. Am on disability, using a cane. Sedate but have an active mind.

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  1. MonicaPz

    Why Stress Right

    Dear Michele, Please let me respond . . . My looks - I focus on finding my voice, both physically and emotionally. Am a woman of size, so I work on feeling that people of all sizes and shapes are beautiful! 😉 Will I be loved for whom I am? - Always am seeking having a PURPOSE, that is, what can I contribute to my loved ones and community? 😊 Does my life matter? - Of course, your life and mine DOES matter, otherwise our Higher Power would not permit us to be on Earth. 😇 Do others like me? - Focus on having a FEW good, quality friends instead of winning a popularity contest. As for my family, I consider the T/LGBT community my family. The painful reality is that I can not make anyone like or love me. Even if I could, I wouldn't even try. 😄 Take your time to FIRST find a supportive therapist, support group and save up to attend the nearest transgender conference. Likely, your cup size will be one cup smaller than your mother's and sisters. 😯 With the right surgeon, your vagina will be indistinguishable from that of a cisgender woman's, so much so, that a gynecologist wouldn't be able to tell the difference! Have seen the vaginas of two post open transwomen (not sexually), and I could not tell the difference! 😷 As you get older, you will be less obsessed about these things, as I have! 😊 Michele, don't forget you have many friends right here, and you'll make even more (face to face) friends as you gain self-confidence. Don't forget you are going through a second (female) adolescence as you transition. 😃 Your friend, Monica
  2. MonicaPz

    Inauthenticity vs. Authenticity

    Dear Emma, Believe that living authentically means living a MINDFUL life as continuously as possible. We are constantly evolving, so what was authentic 10 years ago is not likely authentic TODAY, but hopefully was authentic 10 years ago. As for me, I try to be centered as possible at all times, although I am not always successful! 😉 Your friend, Monica
  3. MonicaPz

    The Leopard Print Dress

    Dear MichelleLea and Emma, Love shopping for clothes with a girlfriend as I feel two heads are better than one! Even if my sense of style is different than hers, I would like her input, after I shared with her what I am trying to achieve and why, and vice versa. Your friend, Monica
  4. MonicaPz

    The Leopard Print Dress

    Dear Emma, Very well said. Great advice no matter who you are! As for myself, I try to go for a TAILORED look. Two dear friends from Philadelphia, PA, send me wonderful T/LGB magazines that I learn a lot from. When I plan on visiting them, I hope I will have saved up some money to buy at some of the stores/boutiques featured in the magazines. Your friend, Monica
  5. MonicaPz

    My Transition

    Dear Elsa, Steph and Emma, Sadly, I am acquainted with a Lesbian woman, who is being forced by her family to "go Straight." She used to be a "Heavy Butch," with a crew cut and wearing men's clothes. She was forced by her family to wear a feminine wig, until her hair grew out, now wearing a very feminine, curly haircut, dyed blond. Also, she is forced to wear very feminine clothes. She hates my guts, (she sees me on the bus), harassing me (the police is now involved), because, although I am not "flaming out," I am openly a Lesbian. Feel sorry for her, as all her behavior is at the behest of her family, except she takes it a step farther, having a boyfriend or husband. Apparently she was threatened with being disowned by her family. My family stopped short of forcing me to date/marry. Two deeply closeted Lesbians take me out once or twice a month (one of these times to a women's support group), and trying to help me find a girlfriend (whom I'm told will be deeply closeted, due to where I live). The fem is an executive secretary, and the butch, in the medical field. What is the upshot of all of this? Don't live a lie. Am on the waitlist for senior public housing in Burlington, VT and Seattle, WA, which may take years. May have to move sight unseen because of my very low income. For what it's worth, I see the T/LGB community as my family, not my family of origin. Your friend, Monica
  6. MonicaPz

    The Leopard Print Dress

    Dear MichelleLea and Emma, Think looking APPROPRIATE and REALISTIC should be your goals looking like you are women, because you ARE women. Most older women emphasize CLOTHING and ACCESSORIES. Went out with my friend yesterday, and no one bothered us. She was a transwoman, aged 71, and I am a cisgender woman, aged 60. Try to get out with friends, as I find it so healing. Your friend, Monica
  7. MonicaPz

    The "New" Friendship

    Dear Emma and Mike, Have a "pen pal," of 5 years that I met through a Lesbian dating website. We write about once a week, and enjoy a satisfying friendship. Have lived in my senior public housing apartment building for 5 years, and I have no friends (as far as I know, they haven't made friends with each other, either, and I am talking about 100 people). The bottom line is that I have little in common with them. If it weren't for my flexibility in defining what a friend is, I think I would be a very lonely person. Keep loneliness at bay by taking a lot of classes in my building and at the library, and being active in TGGuide and my local T/LGB support group. Also have a lot of hobbies, such as writing and creating art. Thank you all for being my friend! 💄 Yours, Monica
  8. MonicaPz

    The "New" Friendship

    Some people feel there is a new definition of friendship: persons can be friends even if they never met face-to-face or even spoke on the telephone, such as Internet "friendships." They argue the old definition of friendship, such as knowing each other's personal information (first and last names, home addresses and telephone numbers) and regularly entertaining each other in each other's homes), no longer holds true in today's day and age. In my opinion, I think some people are confusing a good acquaintance (knowing each other on a first name basis, meeting regularly at a mutually convenient spot or organization and enjoying some common interests) with a friend (the "old" definition of friend described above). Think there is confusion between "friend" and "acquaintance" because part of their definitions intersect. In my case, I break down "friends" into "close friend," "friend," and "casual friend." When it comes to an acquaintance, it is "good acquaintance," "acquaintance," and "casual acquaintance." Usually, a friendship starts as an acquaintance. When two people do not become friends, it could be because of a neutral reason, such as having nothing in common, a person having a problem (they may be ashamed about something about themselves they don't want the other person to know) or a person having a problem with the other person, such as the other person having a much lower income, I.Q., or social status, which is important to some people. There have been times in my life where I had many acquaintances/friends and other times, very few. Feel this had much to do with the culture of where I live rather than with me (or as some might say, my age). A friend recently commented to me that she had fewer friends the more successful she became in her career (it is lonely at the "top"). Would love to hear from other how their acquaintances and friends ebbed and flowed through their lives. Am grateful for your feedback.
  9. MonicaPz

    38 and loving it

    Dear Michele, Your beauty shines from the inside out! Yours, Monica
  10. MonicaPz

    Confused but not uncertain

    Dear Michele, You were handsome as a man and beautiful as a woman! Yours, Monica
  11. MonicaPz

    Like Button/Bar

    Dear Mike, Thank you for explaining it to me. Apologize for any confusion I may have caused anyone. Yours, Monica
  12. Dear Emma, Christy and Lori, Have found myself often having to educate my doctors and therapists! 😱 Yours, Monica
  13. MonicaPz

    My inner battle, Elsa v William

    Dear Elsa and Christy, Really resonated with your stories as I had to struggle loving being a masculine woman (mid-butch Lesbian). Your friend, Monica
  14. Loved how supportive Charlotte Goodyear's parents and the designers were! 😁 Like her Mom, I wanted to get a box of tissues for my tears of joy! 😂
  15. Dear Friends, Pride Study is seeking T/LGB volunteers to fill out surveys for researchers studying our community. The first survey will take about a half hour, but following surveys will take no more than five or ten minutes. Please contact them at: https://www.pridestudy.org Thank you very much. Yours truly, Monica