General Transgender Discussion

A day does go by that I read of another transgender woman killed. Brazil has the most trans murders followed by Mexico then the United States. With the increased visibility and many ordinances for trans people becoming law, the vitriol and violence has been wratcheted up a few notches. The United States is one of the biggest exporters of anti-TGLB hate to places like Africa, Jamaica, and eastern Europe. Here is where we must be vigilant. Two projects of mine is to refute the lies that passing protections for transgender people will affect religious rights. The other is that I will demonstrate that transgender people were front and center at Stonewall and other movemen…

As I have mentioned before, I transitioned on the same job I still work at today. Where I work nights the only people I am around are the security guards. It did take some time for them to get used to the change. Anyway, last night I was talking to one of the guards. At one point he asked if he could ask me a question. He asked,"Did you always know you needed to make the changes you made? I told him I knew from my first thoughts. He then asked, "Why did you not make the change sooner?" I told him until the year 2000,being from small town New England, I didn't know it was possible. We had a great talk. He asked very respectful questions and was very interested in b…

Each year at this time, I set goal which I work to accomplish. It can be be anything from a reading goal to a writing goal to a personal goal. I have noticed to each year something about gender comes into play. Gender goals are harder to set because sometimes I may not be clear on what direction the goal will lead. Like life, gender is not stationary. I have considered some things off and on. Name change and transition are two things that come to mind. I believe most of you know my position about transitioning. Regarding the former, this possibility has gotten stronger. Really can't why except that throughout 2013 people viewed me as a woman. I'm no prophet but I ca…

Does anybody have any advice on what career options would be suitable for a MTF transsexual? I am currently pre- everything so it has to be a job I can transition at. I have a degree, if that helps. Also, I am from the UK and I am quite good with people if that helps. Ty.

Hey, Here's me again asking yet another question. Does/did anyone else ever have the issue that I am where you can't even focus on figuring out what you want to do with your future? I honestly spend more time thinking about trying to get out of my house and start transitioning, i really can't see a future without first being comfortable looking in the mirror. -Ty

So I am not looking to discriminate against anyone. If anything I want to be a help. The obstacle that I face is not understanding people that question if they are trans or not. Or people, later in life, questioning their gender. I know for myself it is because I am an old fart. And for myself, it is because I have known since I was 4 years old. I do believe there is a generational gap in what it means to be trans today vs. 10 - 20 - years ago. I know I was 43 years old before I even knew that I could transition. That such a thing existed. And I jumped on it. And have no regrets. So, I'm not sure if my not understanding is because trans issues have become more…

I know I ask an awful lot of questions, but as many of you know this is the first time that I'm open with myself and others about who I am. I wanted to know, because I'm in the process of looking for a new job, When would be the appropriate time to tell your employer about name/gender/pronoun business?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRGhmaFv5Vg i found this and thought you all might like this video

So, I was put in charge (since I suggested) of the transgender day of awareness as my college and I'll be working with Pflag, who will probably be doing most of the presentation, but I want opinions as to what kind of things we should talk about. Being as this is my first semester of being "Out" on campus I don't really know what I should touch on for my club or for the community. Suggestions?

I read an article about transgender rights being twenty years behind gay rights. What the article neglected to say was the reasons why. Here is my feelings and the reasons. 1. Roadblocks Transgender people and drag queens were front and center at the 1969 Stonewall Riots. When the leadership positions were created, transgender people were pushed to the margins. During the 1970s and 1980s laws were passed by gay and lesbian organizations to keep us out and prevented us from accessing resources we desperately needed. People like Janice Raymond and others were major obstacles. 2. Cold Feet Here in New York in 2010 marriage equality was on the same docket as gen…

Hello, I'm a transsexual woman, I live in France near Paris. I'm a teacher and I've got a problem. My voice is androgynous (between male and female) and I think about voice surgery. My apparence is good, except I'm tall (1m84 which represents 6 feet) and my voice not that good. I'm 29 years old and I take hormones since 3 years.My ortophonist (the person which teach me to improve my voice) told me that there were a good technique in corea, so I'm thinking about it, and I would like to talk with people who had done this surgery. Excuse me for my english, thanks in advance, Tatiana

I guess you know that it is time to give up on a relationship, when you spend your last cent to send someone you care about, and you think cares about you, a birthday present, and you get no thank you....no response at all. Yea, been kidding myself for too long.

Hey, So today at 11:30 My club is doing a discussion on trans issues since for some reason, I don't know how to start the discussion at all. It's freaking me out completely because I'm the one who put this on our agenda. They're really trying to brush it off, the discussion i mean, but how do i make them more engaged in this, since the T is rarely ever discussed in our group. -Ty

Hey everyone! So, Who here has had to feel the pain of being fired back into the closet.... Coming out for me was extremely hard because I did it on more then one occasion.. The First time, I simply just told my parents I was a lesbian, not an issue to my bio-mom. She already knew. By dad refused to talk to me for a few weeks until my mom Overdosed and I had to live with my dad. Then, there was a whole new problem-- My step mother who is a religious zealot. at the time, I was still figuring myself out, I never knew was transgender was until meeting a girl my sophomore year who was the nicest person I've ever met and she was trans. She helped me sort of figure mysel…

I always thought being fully transitioned was a physical thing. In the work I have done with my life coach this past year, I have come to realize it is so much more a mental thing. With the work I have done, it no longer bothers me that I have family that still wants to use wrong pronouns. I have come to realize that is their problem, not mine. I will even be spending Christmas with them . And if they can look at my hairy face and still call me a she...they are not too bright.

Just heard a song from the past that reminds me how far we have come and how far we need to go. The song is George Thorogood, Bad to the bone. I remember back in 1990, I was dealing with a therapist that would not hear of my gender issues. I got so mad that I drove my car under her window, blasted this song and started dancing on my car. Yea, I ended up in a padded cell. But I look back on that and see that as my defining moment. The moment I said to the world....here I am. Just wondering, what was your defining moment?

I got to thinking about this as I waited at my son's school today . I'm about to get dressed to the 9's to do a memorial for the many who have been murdered or taken their lives tonight at 7 P-M . Uh, it's T D O R folks . I want to propose we as Americans have a Trans Day of celebration ! Yes, a day where trans People are finally recognized for their achievements , their contributions to society and community . In addition , some worthy recipient could be presented an award , a potential college student with a scholarship, a lawmaker acknowledged for doing the right thing that year . Yes, many of these elements have been squeezed into T D O R services . Hey, if the ga…

Just had to get this off my chest. Even though I get along with all my family, today has been a somewhat bitter sweet day. You see, today is my birthday, and I heard nothing from my family. At the same time it has been a sweet day. Just got a phone call from a very dear friend, and telling me she loves me, and thanked me for being in her life. I also got a surprise e-mail from my life coach saying happy birthday. How she knew it was my birthday is beyond me, but it felt good. So, trying to hang on to the positive and let go of the hurt of not hearing from my family. I am finding that blood is not thicker than water. Having a few good friends is much more.

Well, this week here in "Riva City , also known to me as the city too damn conservative to change , Richmond Virginia wil host T D O R Wednesday at Saint Paul's Episcopal church about a block away from Virginia's Capital Bell tower which in the 1700's was also a look out tower for the Red's . Uh Englishmen for those of you in Europe . Among topics that were on the agenda , Transphobia . What is may or may not be , who is , isn't . The discussion was held at the Gay Community center / Diversity Thrift . I was asked to chime in as I have been someone affected bu this insidious disease . How , you say, ok , uh I got let go three months ago when a transwoman called me Elle…

This is wonderful. The facilitator is just one year older than I, and three years into her transition. So she seems to be the perfect mentor. The group requires an interview, which was no problem... so next Wed. night, I'll meet the group. This first meeting will be at a local cinema where there is comunity/public welcome gathering and a movie for National Transgender Day of Remembrance. I could not have possibly imagined a more appropriate day to introduce myself for the first time in a public forum as a transsexual woman. My official entry into the group will be the following week. They will be able to guide me to all of the local therapist, doctors and …

ive decided that im going to have to give up being transgender as living where im living i cant be myself nor can i really afford the stuff to look pretty and gothic like i want to. those who are like me know what im going thru and know it takes money to fix what is inside us. i know some will be disappointed in me but what can i really do. not like i can pull money out my arse every month. 700 monthly dont go far when you got to pay rent and bills and food. here is the factors that made me decide this: 1) no friends literally that i can hang out wiith that are like me in my area that drive as i dont drive at all 2) my current residence town wise prevents me from b…

November is traditionally a busy month for me. I've bee slowed down the past few days by elevated blood pressure (doing better, thanks) but the mind is still sharp. Next Monday is Veteran's Day. I have marched in the past but this time I will be a spectator. Though my transness was hidden from me when I served I am proud of my service. I will attend Transgender Day of Remembrance festivities also. Once again I plan on speaking briefly. Over time these two events have meant more to me. What it demonstrates is that we are everywhere. We have talents, gifts, skill, and perseverence. No one can ever tell me we can't perform. We have done well even under duress. With th…

My psychologist and I had a good talk about HRT this week. Now, I am married, and currently I am very much "in the closet", so I had mentioned that I would have to start outing myself before proceeding. However, she indicated that was not necessarily the case, and that people had started HRT without coming out before. Now, please note she wasn't *endorsing* doing it this way, and in fact mentioned that doing it this way was fraught with dangers, but it was technically possible. I'm not sure how this would be viable long-term, since if everything works as you would want, there are going to be changes that you couldn't exactly hide from a spouse. As well, it seems re…

I want to look like I am forever? Can anybody tell me how to do exactly that? I have come up with 3 parts to looking young or keeping fit on daily basis beside from eating food. -stay in lean muscle mass shape or not get fat -keep your mind brain & life in good cross check -use lots of girly cosmetic products to keep ones skin the way it is now. Any help appreciated?

Hard to believe it's been a year since I was doing the therapy stuff. As most of you know, I started working with a life coach in late December. I took the month of Sept off from the coaching. Took the time to review all we have talked about. Going over my notes and e-mails. And, I am amazed. The way I look at things, think about things is so different. Things that used to drive me crazy are not even a blip on the radar screen anymore. For the first time in decades I can say....I am excited about my life. I have a lot of life yet to live. And....I have an awesome life coach.