Emma

Jay, No, you're most definitely not mentally ill and clearly in need of support by your NHS. I don't care for the term 'dysphoria' either since, for me, I have less dysphoria with my male birth sex and am so tormented by almost continual thoughts and desires to be female. So I'm stuck in the middle if you will. Anyway, back to you. Given the TG "support" situation by the NHS it's perfectly understandable that you're upset, possibly depressed, and certainly anxious and frustrated. I wonder if you have considered seeing a therapist to at least have a sounding board for what you're going through and maybe come up with some strategies and ideas for coping? (Apologies if you've already written about this in the past - it's hard for me to remember everyone's histories!) Regardless, it's always good to hear from you. Hugs, Emma

Hey Christie! No worries about your absence. I'm so very busy too at my job. I found that our local deli offers wifi so I bring my iPad to lunch and enjoy catching up while grabbing a quick salad. It's such a nice breather to slide into my truegender self during the day even for fifteen minutes. Thank goodness everything is covered for you in New York. It's only right that it is and thank goodness that it is when you need it. Write when you can! Hugs, Emma

Sounds like a lot of fun! I've also scuba dived, in Mexico, California, and Hawaii, as well as snorkeling of course. Always a blast but be sure to tell them to wear a t-shirt when outside snorkeling or risk a nasty sunburn on the back! Hugs, Emma

Dear Lisa, In your photos and writing I see and hear a sweet woman, who is considerate and kind, patient and yet steadfast. Thank you for this, your most recent post. All aspects of being TG and letting others know is hard. Harder than it should be, I think. After all we are the same people at our core that we were. So if they loved us before and now learn how deeply we need to express this side of ourselves, why oh why is it such a trauma for them? I suppose part is a worry that we will hurt ourselves either physically or in spirit. And, of course, there is a concern about how our gender will affect others feelings. Sounds to me like you're handling it very well. You're a beautiful example for all of us. Hugs, Emma

This is a real first for me, taking my photo and posting it here or anywhere! I'm really enjoying this new dress that I just received last week. Sitting here typing up this blog entry just feels right, you know? The whole thing feels so right, I just want to get up, go out to my car, and walk around downtown. Maybe have a coffee and a croissant. Or a lady finger. Hahaha! The slope is a little slippery right now. I keep finding myself shopping (on line) for more, admiring styles, looks, and almost ordering. I hold myself back since, after all, I must soon remove all this and prepare for my lovely wife's return from her day. Which is bittersweet, isn't it? That I have to remove my dress at all, that I cannot just be myself - whatever that is. Seems like there oughta be a law, don't it? I am very grateful that I can even do this. So many cannot, because of their inhibitions, personal situations, and yes, finances. Deep down I am a very grateful girl. I hope you like my photo and I hope, like me, you're getting ready for a wonderful 2016. Hugs, Emma

Hey Ren, Good on you, bro. You're looking and sounding terrific and I'm glad to hear you had a relatively drama-free Christmas. Remember a year ago? Wow, we were both in the mixing bowl trying to deal with things. So on that note 2015 turned out pretty good. I hope you and Justin and Kai have a fantastic 2016. Hugs, Emma

Hey Karen, i just looked at your profile... 2010! Long time before me. Please understand I wasn't familiar with you and assumed you're a newbie. That said, I hope we will see you around here more. I'd love to hear from you, whet you've done, what you've experienced, and how you're doing. Emma

Dear Karen, We are all, even in crowds, scared and alone. That said, I think you'll fine TGGuude helps with that. It sure has for me. Please, tell us more about yourself. Let's all get to know each other a little better. We are in this together, my friends. Sometimes good, sometimes less so, but it is our reality. Welcome, Emma

Your hug feels especially wonderful, Michael, really. Thank you so much. I hope you have a wonderful holiday, too. Emma

I think Veronica has an excellent point. Perhaps the reasonable action is for Jay's employer to: 1. Create a new email address for Jay. (Obviously) 2. Disable Jay's old email address; forward new email to that address to his new one. (After all, some older email may yet have active threads.) 3. Add a mailbox to Jay's email application for the older address. In Outlook, for example, I had this done for an ex-employee's email account after he left the company so I could access his old emails. (As Veronica said, the company does own those communications.) Emma

Hey Jay! Sincere congratulations and what perfect timing for you and your husband. You must be feeling on top of the world with him. Best wishes and happy holidays to you both. Emma

I think it's trivial for IT to accomplish this. For whatever pigheaded reason(s) Jay's IT department members are simply being grossly uncooperative and possibly worse. Like passive aggressive people everywhere, they are trying to exercise their power over others and yet in the process demonstrate their childishness and selfishness. Jay is fighting the noble battle and will prevail, I'm confident of that, and he has my best wishes and prayers.

Good for you, Jay, stick up for yourself. Their response and lack of support is so ridiculous. Boy, do I HATE office politics and stuff like this. Don't they know that what goes around comes around? Good luck getting it fixed, once and for all.

Jay, you add so much here, thank you for writing. All I can say is good on you that you're so bravely doing what you need to do, following through to ensure you get what you need, and also, joining others, like here and at your FTM meeting. I think your correct that it's not that the numbers of transgender people are increasing. It warms my heart as I become increasingly aware how large a community we are. Makes me feel very good. Emma

Dear Debora, I read all of your post and want to applaud your bravery for writing. I also want to say how sorry I am to read it and, especially, how your family is treating you now. Thank goodness you survived your suicude attempt. It seems to me that you have come very far in your life and you have some well deserved pride of yourself. Clearly, you are a good person who deserves love and her place in this world. You're carving your place in it, too, all by yourself, which is sad. What will you do for the holidays? Do you have friends to be with? I hope so. This is an especially significant time when we need each other as human beings. As I write here now I keep thinking I should have more to say, advice and help to provide. I don't have much and I don't want to come off sounding like "all you have to do is" something. Depression, anorexia, childhood abuse, and unsupportive family isn't something that can be solved in a message. I wonder, do you see a therapist? It's a challenge to find one that's right for ourselves and it's expensive, but it's invaluable. So, thanks again for writing. Keep doing it. Pound your tears into your keyboard. Maybe we can help. We will try. Warm hugs, Emma

By the way, I'd love joining your TAGS group. It would be such fun to wear a pretty swimsuit and go swimming. And just hang out, too. I had to write this as I noticed that I kept on thinking about it as I saw the title of your post! Merry Christmas, Emma

I love it! Thank you...

Dear friends, I'm blessed to be a part of our community here - I think of you often. I wish you, your families, and your friends, all a wonderful holiday season. Let's all pray for peace on earth and good will to all. Love, Emma

Hi Jay, Good for you! I fully agree with Eve, by the way. There's nothing odd at all about walking into any restroom and not knowing the layout. I can guarantee few things but this is one: no one will notice your taking in the layout of the facilities. It is what it is. One needs to know which and where. To me the most awkward thing is when, say, the stall(s) is busy. What to do? :-) Hang around and wait? No, that's kinda creepy. Probably best to move to a different restroom or wait outside. We're all pulling for you and look forward to hearing more about your experiences. Hugs, Emma

HI Lisa, Very nice to hear about things going so well for you! Merry Christmas, Emma

Hey Eve, All I can say is, "Darn good for you, luv, we are so happy to hear this news from you." Keep it coming, and keep on keepin' on. Hugs, Emma

Hey Ren, Glad I get to be first to wish you a merry Christmas. Certainly sorry to hear about you, your mom, and Kai. But then again, at least you get to (finally) see her on the 11th, so that's something to look forward to. And good on you for getting so far ahead of most of us on shopping, wrapping, and cards. You're amazing, man. I haven't even started. It's also good to hear that work is going well especially after all of the trials and tribulations in your past gig, right? It'd be fun to hear more about how that's going for you. Sorry to hear you can't see a therapist. No, you're not a TG dope by any stretch. I don't know about MPD. I think we all have little conversations with ourselves. I've read that it's mostly about our mind's automatically trying to sort things out as they come, to make sense of them, to see if there is danger - that sort of thing. If you're interested, read Thinking Fast and Slow. But you'd better be really interested 'cause it's a very thorough treatment of the subject. Anyway, maybe the other guy inside you is that alter-ego we all have that, like you, is pissed off about his being restricted from fully expressing himself as he is. But I do wish you could see a therapist to talk this out. Sounds like it would be a very fruitful thing to do. I like your photos! To me it says a lot positive about someone who, while otherwise feeling pretty crappy and down, is able to get their shopping done, set up the Christmas displays, and plan for a haircut. Keep writing and letting both you and Alex vent. Can't hurt and possibly will help. And definitely, send your photo with your new haircut! Hugs, Emma

Dear Lisa, Very nice to hear how your life is stabilizing and improving. Kudos to you and your wife. It takes a lot of courage and dedication to adapt and get used to your natural identity and relationship. I hope you have a lovely holiday! Emma

That looks like such a lovely scene! Thank you for posting it.

Hi Christie, I'm excited for you! How fun is that? And, I definitely caught your meaning when you said you might know more tomorrow. Indeed, waiting to see if she calls you... I think that's exciting too, whether she does or not. Please let us know how it turns out! Hugs, Emma